BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth To Thread - Forum Home

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BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth

12 Aug 06 - 04:37 PM (#1808281)
Subject: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Dave the Gnome

Sorry people. The rumour is not true. We are both from the same planet. We are just different. Just as you look and think differently from your boss or neighbour chances are you will look and think differently from your husband or wife.

The washing machine need not be a mystery. In either operation or maintenance.
North is always in the same direction. But it does no harm to ask occasionaly.
If she asks 'does my bum look big in this?' it is not a test. It is a question.
If he is staring at your boobs he is not demeaning your value. He just likes boobs.
Remember we are all sometimes creatures of both simple pleasures and complex emotions.

Cheers

DtG


12 Aug 06 - 04:41 PM (#1808285)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: GUEST,JTS

"The washing machine need not be a mystery. In either operation or maintenance.
North is always in the same direction. But it does no harm to ask occasionaly.
If she asks 'does my bum look big in this?' it is not a test. It is a question.
If he is staring at your boobs he is not demeaning your value. He just likes boobs."

Dave I wish you the best of luck in dealing with women. May your guardian angel never desert her post.


;-)


12 Aug 06 - 04:43 PM (#1808289)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Little Hawk

I like that concept. ;-) Someone should write a book.


12 Aug 06 - 04:53 PM (#1808292)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Linda Kelly

Dave, your mission on Earth is now complete-you may return to the Mother ship.


12 Aug 06 - 05:12 PM (#1808301)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Dave the Gnome

Beam me up, Scotty...

:D (tG)


12 Aug 06 - 05:53 PM (#1808327)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Ebbie

As to the washing machine, for years on television the 'salesperson' would demonstrate its features and intricacies to the man. This was back in the day when no self-respecting, red-blooded macho man would have thought of stuffing dirty clothes into a machine, but somehow the TV moguls thought of the woman as being incapable of comprehension.

"If she asks 'does my bum look big in this?' it is not a test". Oh yes, it is. What we want at that point is reassurance that #1, it does not make it look big and #2, that if it does, you like it.

:)


12 Aug 06 - 06:11 PM (#1808343)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Peace

Then the question should be, "Do you like my ass?"


12 Aug 06 - 06:33 PM (#1808359)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Janie

Naw, Peace. Not subtle enough. Doesn't allow for we womenz to read in nuances to your response.


12 Aug 06 - 06:36 PM (#1808364)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Peace

1) The washing machine need not be a mystery. In either operation or maintenance.
2) North is always in the same direction. But it does no harm to ask occasionaly.
3) If she asks 'does my bum look big in this?' it is not a test. It is a question.
4) If he is staring at your boobs he is not demeaning your value. He just likes boobs.

Answers for the above that are PC:

1) Read the directions.

2) Read the direction.

3) If she's making reference to you while she's talking with a friend . . . .

4) If you are topless, distract him by putting on a shirt.


12 Aug 06 - 06:38 PM (#1808365)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Peace

Women can read nuance into, "It's a work of art!"?


12 Aug 06 - 06:46 PM (#1808371)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Dave the Gnome

Peace - are you going to pay the bill for getting Chardonay out of my laptop on reading No. 4?

Good man:-D


12 Aug 06 - 06:47 PM (#1808373)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Janie

Yes, aren't we astounding?!


12 Aug 06 - 06:49 PM (#1808374)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Peace

Absolutely, ma'am, ab-so-LUTE-ly!


12 Aug 06 - 10:29 PM (#1808483)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: open mike

the original reference to Mars and Venus
was as regards the god of war and the godess of love..
not so musch planets as attributes..


12 Aug 06 - 10:42 PM (#1808490)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Slag

"He loves boobs?" I gotta tell ya that we are ALL born loving boobs, male and female alike. It's the closest thing any of us will ever have to a "free lunch". I guess men never get over them but women do, especially when they get a pair of their own to lug around the rest of their lives. Still and all the are lovely, soft, accomodating. They are one of the most perfect shapes in nature and an artist's delight. What utility! Thank you ladies, all, from the small to the large, from the missing (God bless) to the unusual (never mishapen) each has it's own allurement, it's own admirers.


12 Aug 06 - 10:45 PM (#1808492)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Peace

I am in AWE!


12 Aug 06 - 11:04 PM (#1808499)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Janie

Beautiful, Slag. Reminds of a song written and recorded by the now defunct group "Pomegrante Rose."

Come home to the Earth
Love the Earth
Come home, let her beauty kindle your spirit
She is calling, the wind breaths your name
Come home to her breast and drink of her love


12 Aug 06 - 11:18 PM (#1808504)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Slag

Wisdom and open, honest appreciation comes late in life, usually too late to account for much. It is a pity that youth is wasted on the young (per Mr. Clemmons).


13 Aug 06 - 04:09 AM (#1808583)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: alanabit

I think that one is actually from Oscar Wilde. Mr Samuel Longhorn Clemens did say a lot of very funny things about his own youth and youth in general though.


13 Aug 06 - 07:40 AM (#1808652)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: bbc

Dave, I wish I'd had the chance to meet you on my recent visit to your area.

best,

bbc


13 Aug 06 - 08:26 AM (#1808669)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Dave the Gnome

Nearly did, bbc, I wasn't sure how long you was going to be getting out at the airport and I had to get away to my training course. It was awful btw! Bill tells me if I had stayed for 2 more minutes at the airport we would have met. Next time maybe:-)

C'est la vie.

Cheers

DtG


13 Aug 06 - 12:02 PM (#1808785)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: GUEST,Shimrod

When she says "does my bum look big in this?" she is not looking for re-assurance or a compliment - she is usually looking for a fight! Why not just have fight?


13 Aug 06 - 12:43 PM (#1808820)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Les from Hull

'Youth is wasted on the young' - George Bernard Shaw.


13 Aug 06 - 12:50 PM (#1808826)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Liz the Squeak

KAKSOD!

(Killed Another Keyboard Squirting Out Drink)

LTS


13 Aug 06 - 02:27 PM (#1808905)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Slag

I don't recall seeing the "youth" quote in Clemmons' writings but I have heard it attributed to him. The phrase and others like it have probably been echoing down through history since the first gray hair.


13 Aug 06 - 03:42 PM (#1808959)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Dave the Gnome

Sigh...


13 Aug 06 - 04:33 PM (#1808990)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Uncle_DaveO

Les said, 'Youth is wasted on the young' - George Bernard Shaw.

Actually, Shaw said it this way, as I remember:

"Youth is a wonderful thing. What a pity that it's wasted on the young!"

Dave Oesterreich


13 Aug 06 - 04:34 PM (#1808992)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: JennyO

My son has a t shirt with the sign:

Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth. Get over it.


13 Aug 06 - 04:39 PM (#1808997)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Peace

"I don't recall seeing the "youth" quote in Clemmons' writings but I have heard it attributed to him."

The quote is from GBS. However, Sam Clemens did say words to the effect: "When I was fourteen my father knew very little. Now that I'm twenty-one, I'm surprised to see how much he's learned in seven years."


14 Aug 06 - 05:29 AM (#1809360)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Hrothgar

Death wish, Dave?


14 Aug 06 - 05:38 AM (#1809362)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: Dave the Gnome

How and why so, Hrothgar?

DtG


14 Aug 06 - 09:21 AM (#1809435)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: GUEST

call me unusual but if i ask does my bum look big in this its cos I want to know the answer to the question - I can't be the only girl out there who isn't totally insecure about her behind, surely???


14 Aug 06 - 01:06 PM (#1809574)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: GUEST

I am sure your behind is lovely enough for us to cream those buns.


15 Aug 06 - 03:14 AM (#1810115)
Subject: RE: BS: Women are from Earth. Men are from Earth
From: hesperis

I never say "does my bum look big in this?" I always ask "do I look good in this?"

For the women looking for nuance, there is PLENTY to be had from responses to that second question, and the nuance of the sentence itself is never "looking for a fight" or "my gosh I'm insecure" as it can be with the first.

You know, some clothes don't look so good on certain shapes... nothing wrong with the shapes, just don't buy those clothes!


15 Aug 06 - 11:17 AM (#1810360)
Subject: Lyr Add: STRONG ENOUGH (Sheryl Crow)
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos

From Sherryl Crow:

God, I feel like hell tonight
Tears of rage I cannot fight
I'd be the last to help you understand
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Nothing's true and nothing's right
So let me be alone tonight
Cause you can't change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I'll believe
Lie to me
But please don't leave

I have a face I cannot show
I make the rules up as I go
It's try and love me if you can
Are you strong enough to be my man?

When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I'll believe
Lie to me
But please don't leave

When my wife asks the question "do these make my butt look big I always tell her no, your butt makes your butt look big. I guess she didn't see the added marriage vow about being my straight man. Somehow she still loves me.

Woman's Rule #1 - No man is allowed to know the rules
       Rule #2 - Rules may be changed without notice
       Rule #3 - Should a man learn the rules they will be
                  immediately changed