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BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement

11 Apr 05 - 01:00 PM (#1458099)
Subject: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Stilly River Sage

Can any of you assist me by sharing your favorite one-liners to do with success or achievement? Pithy, wisecracking, historic or contemporary, any are welcome. Humorous insight is the object in mind. A friend is looking for a good one-liner as he pays homage to a favorite history professor upon her retirement. I've heard many fine ones over the years, but none come to mind at the moment. I didn't write them down or commit them to memory. The Internet, as useful as it can be, is mostly a source of watered-down bland or "inspirational" quotes. Where are they when you need them--Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, Flo Kennedy, Dorothy Parker, Johnny Carson, Homer Simpson? Philosophers and other keen observers of human nature please apply. (Not much turns up in Bartlett's.)

If you read or heard a remark that resonated enough to stick with you, will you share it? If possible, please name the source or cite the program or event, if it was an award show, etc.

Thanks in advance!

SRS


11 Apr 05 - 01:25 PM (#1458124)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Bill D

Behind an able man there are always other able men.   - Chinese Proverb
Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.   - Muhammad Ali

and here


11 Apr 05 - 01:35 PM (#1458133)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Clinton Hammond

"Write a witty saying and your name will live forever."
-Unknown-


11 Apr 05 - 01:45 PM (#1458137)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Bill D

lots of directions


11 Apr 05 - 02:03 PM (#1458144)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: GUEST

Mark Twain;s ideas on Wit and History:

"Wit and Humor--if any difference it is in duration--lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, brief, and can do damage--the other fools along and enjoys the elaboration.

- Mark Twain's Notebook"

...to wit...

"Herodotus says, "Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all: The conscientious historian will correct these defects.

- Acknowledgments for A Horse's Tale"


11 Apr 05 - 02:08 PM (#1458149)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Amos

A burning passion coupled with absolute detachment is the key to all success.    Gandhi

It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires great strength to decide on what to do. Anon.

Audacity is not necessarily genius.

Mutual helpfulness makes for mutual happiness, and is the only morality.

It is the unusual that gives opportunity.

It is what we think and what we do that make us what we are.

Men who succeed have faith in themselves, and have faith in their fellows. Doubt either and you are a has-wasser.

(All these are from Epigrams of the Day


A


11 Apr 05 - 02:22 PM (#1458168)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Ebbie

What's a 'haswasser', Amos? I understand 'wasser', but 'has' seems a corruption of 'hate' or maybe 'hot'. But that's just my ignorance talking.


11 Apr 05 - 03:21 PM (#1458222)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Amos

I dunno -- I think it is sort of a "was-gonna" married to a "has-been", but that's just a guess!


A


11 Apr 05 - 06:01 PM (#1458391)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Ebbie

Ah- maybe it's a 'rabbitwater'? Or 'waterrabbit'? One has to be creative with one's spelling.


11 Apr 05 - 06:09 PM (#1458397)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Bill D

"You had better be an Is-Now than a Has-Wasser; and as for a Not-Yet-But-Soon, why he is always one."

no, I don't understand it. I used to know all that stuff, but my brain cell is tired.


11 Apr 05 - 07:36 PM (#1458488)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: The Fooles Troupe

Just as well it's padded, Bill!




I came, I saw, I farted!


11 Apr 05 - 07:39 PM (#1458495)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: The Fooles Troupe

... or was that

I saw, I came, I farted...


11 Apr 05 - 07:39 PM (#1458496)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Peace

http://quotations.about.com/cs/inspirationquotes/a/Achievements21.htm

Takes about five seconds to load.


12 Apr 05 - 01:41 AM (#1458678)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: open mike

something i heard on the NPR station during the pledge drive..
a living is from what you make
a life is from what you give
or something like that...
You make a living by what you get
You make a life by what you give
...
that's it, i think


12 Apr 05 - 01:44 AM (#1458682)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: open mike

the link at the bottom of the last page was for Randon acts of kindness
at http://www.actsofkindness.org/ it seems like they might have some nifty ideas there.


12 Apr 05 - 02:42 AM (#1458708)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Doug Chadwick

A couple here from Eleanor Roosevelt:

"Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product."

"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people"

Doug C


12 Apr 05 - 10:40 AM (#1459051)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: mack/misophist

As apt as it was, the last post requires a mention of Alice Roosevelt Longworth's fameous remark:

"If you can't say anything good about anybody, come sit beside me."


12 Apr 05 - 10:58 AM (#1459065)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Uncle_DaveO

"You know I wouldn't say anything about her that wasn't good.... And is THIS good!!!

Dave Oesterreich


12 Apr 05 - 11:34 AM (#1459086)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Stilly River Sage

Thanks! I'll compile this list and see what comes of it. And by reading the last few entries, it sounds like time for some Dorothy Parker: If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

Actually, the one that suits my reason for starting this thread best is:
    I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things.


SRS


13 Apr 05 - 05:58 AM (#1459799)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: GUEST

Hundreds of light-bulb jokes and you're still not happy? If they don't count for acheivments then what does.


13 Apr 05 - 02:31 PM (#1460204)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: GUEST,Art Thieme

And here he is---the man who did for folk music what pantyhose did for sex.

(Utah Phillips once introduced me that way)

Art Thieme


14 Apr 05 - 09:44 AM (#1461008)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: GUEST,Joe_F

In this world there are only two ways of getting on -- either by one's own industry or by the imbecility of others. -- Jean de la Bruyere

'Tis not in mortals to command success, / But we'll do more, Sempronius -- / We'll deserve it. -- Joseph Addison

I knew very well what I was undertaking, and very well how to do it, and have done it very well. -- Samuel Johnson

Success is the end of hope. -- Anon.

Any live man has succeeded in living; any dead man may have succeeded in committing suicide. -- G. K. Chesterton

(The first four of these are in H. L. Mencken's New Dictionary of Quotations, s.v. sucess. That compilation has no index & so is almost useless for *finding* a quotation; but because it is classified by subject & has cross references, for this kind of browsing it is supreme.)

--- Joe Fineman    joe_f@verizon.net

||: Be sincere: fool yourself first. :||


14 Apr 05 - 10:27 AM (#1461053)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: Stilly River Sage

Ah, Samuel Johnson. That's a good one! (I have a very early edition of one of his dictionaries, inherited from my father's family.)

I hadn't thought of Mencken, but he did more than his share of contributing pithy one-liners in his lifetime. Mencken, like Walter Winchell, had a great deal of influence with his newspaper work. (This is in no way an endorsement of either man's politics, which were complicated, as I recall).

SRS


14 Apr 05 - 03:32 PM (#1461361)
Subject: RE: BS: Witty Epigrams: Lifetime Achievement
From: darkriver

Lord Chesterfield on adultery:

The position is ridiculous, the pleasure is fleeting, and the expense is damnable.