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120 messages

Obit: Sparky

29 Nov 04 - 08:37 AM (#1341932)
Subject: Obit: Sparky
From: katlaughing

My dad passed away this morning sometime around 3. He always told me if I cried and carried on too much he'd come back to haunt me. I asked him if that was a promise. I am relieved because he was in so much discomfort and hadn't been able to play music in over a year, but oh gawd how I shall miss more stories, no more songs...I know he'd want me to tell you one and all, thanks so much for being there, for caring, for sharing with him over the years.

I love you, Daddy,


29 Nov 04 - 08:40 AM (#1341933)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: freda underhill

I'm sorry to hear it Kat, your Dad sounds like a lovely man. my thoughts are with you

lots of love


29 Nov 04 - 08:41 AM (#1341934)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull

Sorry to hear this.

Take care.


29 Nov 04 - 08:45 AM (#1341938)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: GUEST,catsphiddle@work

Sorry to hear you news Kat.




29 Nov 04 - 08:45 AM (#1341939)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Tinker

Kat, I'm in between getting kids off to school and my eyes are full. Sparky is so clearly in you in so many ways. And I am thankful you shared him with us so many time over the years. I doubt you'll have to "cry and carry on" for him to stay with you.



29 Nov 04 - 08:47 AM (#1341941)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Steve Latimer


There is nothing that I can say at a time like this that will make you feel better. I can just offer my condolences and I'll say a prayer for him and you.

29 Nov 04 - 08:49 AM (#1341945)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Micca

kat, He was a Lovely man and an inspiration to you and to us, My sincere sympathies to you, Rog, Rue, and the rest of your Family
your friend, Micca

29 Nov 04 - 08:53 AM (#1341950)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: wilbyhillbilly

So,so sorry Kat, he will be with you and us for always, he left us his music to remember him by.

Sparky, you are among the greats now, just where you belong. We love you.


29 Nov 04 - 08:55 AM (#1341951)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Alice

Kat, I'm very sorry. May you and your family find peace.


29 Nov 04 - 08:55 AM (#1341952)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Alba

I can't leave for Scotland without telling you that I love you Kat.
I can only hope that Sparky finds Tommy and they both come back to see us.
I feel so helpless. You have been my rock for the last few days Kat and I feel like a pebble now that you need me. I wish I was able to give you more. I trust though that we know each other well enough in that you understand that my Dearest Sister.
Sparky...may You walk in tall grass and bright Sunshine. You are so Loved and your Daughter is all you could have ever wished for.
A wonderfilled, Beautiful, Kind and Caring Woman.
She got that from You Sparky. She has all the good you had to give.
May Your Journey be swift and filled with Light.
Take my Love along with you Sir.
My deepest sympathy and Love to you Kat and Rog, Rue, my little Man Morgan and all the Family.

29 Nov 04 - 08:57 AM (#1341953)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Steve Parkes

Kat, I never knew Sparky except from what you've told us about him, but I've always felt he must have been a great bloke and a wonderful dad. God
bless you both.

Steve & Sue

29 Nov 04 - 08:57 AM (#1341955)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Bobert


I'm so sorry, kat...


29 Nov 04 - 08:57 AM (#1341956)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: MMario

Now it is your turn to tell the stories and pass on the songs - you've got a good start. Thank *YOU* for sharing your Dad with us these past few years - There will be thoughts turned to him and you around the world today , I'm sure.

29 Nov 04 - 08:58 AM (#1341958)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Jeri

Kat, so sorry for your loss. He died appreciated and loved, and you couldn't have done more to let him know.

Big hug from me,

29 Nov 04 - 09:03 AM (#1341961)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: black walnut

Oh my.....many hugs.

29 Nov 04 - 09:08 AM (#1341963)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Janie

Dear, dear Kat. So very sorry. (((((((((hug))))))))).


29 Nov 04 - 09:08 AM (#1341964)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: kendall

I'm sorry to hear this,you have my deepest sympathy.

29 Nov 04 - 09:13 AM (#1341968)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: wysiwyg

no more stories, no more songs....

May they all bubble up from your heart when you most need to re-savor them, and when the world most needs to hear you pass them on. May all his love and wisdom flow forth from you. May your tears bring you release so that all that remains of the grief is the blessing of him forever in your heart.


29 Nov 04 - 09:15 AM (#1341974)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: MartinRyan

Sorry to hear of your loss - but lovely to watch a community rally round....


29 Nov 04 - 09:17 AM (#1341975)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Roger the Skiffler

It's all been said. Don't stop telling stories about him, kat.
Thinking of you.


29 Nov 04 - 09:24 AM (#1341982)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Flash Company

Kat, we've all been in this situation at some time, they don't go away, just take up another existance inside your memory.
Thinking of you!


29 Nov 04 - 09:36 AM (#1341991)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Den

Kat, I'm very sorry for your trouble. My own Father passed away last Christmas Eve. Somehow the Holidays just won't be the same. Den

29 Nov 04 - 09:37 AM (#1341993)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Fibula Mattock

Really sorry Kat. Take care.

29 Nov 04 - 09:38 AM (#1341995)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: jacqui.c

So sorry Kat.

As long as he is remembered he will always be with you. Now you must carry on the stories and the songs, and you will remember when he told them to you.

I didn't know Sparky but he sounded like a great guy and his life would definitely be one to celebrate.

29 Nov 04 - 09:45 AM (#1342005)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Deckman

All my best to you Kat. Roope

29 Nov 04 - 09:45 AM (#1342008)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: jeffp

My deepest sympathies, kat. And to you as well, BET. And to everybody in the family.


29 Nov 04 - 09:49 AM (#1342010)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Peter T.

Hi kat, find a little room in that heart of yours as big as a barn for yourself. You need a katlaughing for katlaughing -- much love.


Peter T.

29 Nov 04 - 10:05 AM (#1342036)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: katlaughing

Thank you all so very, very much. Thanks, Jeff, for remembering my sister Bet. I wasn't quite coherent when I started this thread...

29 Nov 04 - 10:06 AM (#1342039)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Bat Goddess

What you've once held in your heart is never gone. Thank you for sharing your father with all of us.

Sympathy and hugs to you, Rog and the whole family.


29 Nov 04 - 10:24 AM (#1342056)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Mooh

Our hopes and prayers to you and yours, Kat. After the hurt of his passing there'll be all those good memories. Take your time, pass on some memories to others (like us!), and take comfort in knowing you're not alone.

Peace & Love,


29 Nov 04 - 10:30 AM (#1342066)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Stilly River Sage


It's never easy to lose a parent, even when they're ailing and you wish for the pain to cease. Thanksgivings will be difficult, poignant, for a few years, but will also be richer for the stories you will tell about him. My sympathy to you and your family.

Maggie (SRS)

29 Nov 04 - 10:30 AM (#1342069)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky

Go ahead and cry, kat. Many of us are crying with you. His pain is over now.

29 Nov 04 - 10:31 AM (#1342071)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Homeless

29 Nov 04 - 10:34 AM (#1342077)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: karen k

I didn't know Sparky physically but somehow he is in my heart because of how much you've shared him with all of us. I'm so glad to have the tape of his songs and it will be a part of my collection for as long as I am on this earth. I know that you will carry on his stories and his songs. He is in your heart and your memory and no one can take that from you. I hope that today you feel the love and the caring that you are so often the first to offer others. I hope we can meet in person someday. I have a lot to thank you for myself.

You and Bet are in my thoughts and in my heart during this difficult time.

Much love and condolences,

29 Nov 04 - 10:36 AM (#1342078)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Sorcha

Blessings, kat. From all of us here.

29 Nov 04 - 10:36 AM (#1342080)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Juan P-B

All my condolences and warmth coming to you!

Having read the previous input - You are definitely among the right people at this time

All love
Juan P-B

29 Nov 04 - 10:37 AM (#1342084)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: MBSLynne

So sorry Kat......

29 Nov 04 - 10:44 AM (#1342094)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Louie Roy

Kat I 'm truly sorry to hear about your Dad and I never knew him but he had to be a great and caring person to have a daughter as caring and kind as you.My deepest sympathy Louie Roy

29 Nov 04 - 10:45 AM (#1342097)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Áine

Oh darlin', I am so sorry to hear this news. I know how much you worried about Sparky's discomfort these past months. I'm sending big hugs to all y'all up there (and a certain trio that's helped out in the past). I just wish I could be with you.

Be good to each other.

I love ya, sister-girl.

-- Áine

29 Nov 04 - 11:03 AM (#1342115)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: JennyO

So sorry to hear this, Kat. Lots of love coming from Oz.


29 Nov 04 - 11:10 AM (#1342124)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Carly

So sorry to hear this sad news...May you find comfort in all that he passed on to you, and may his memory never fade from all who knew him.

Sympathy and peace to you and your family.

Carly Gewirz

29 Nov 04 - 11:13 AM (#1342129)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: GUEST,Art Thieme


I'll always feel I knew him---through you, through his songs that you and he graciously sent to me, and through the many musical places where he and I coincided --- and where we sang the same songs differently--and carried on the tradition.

Sparky was, as you know, a real link on the chain. He'll keep on keepin' on !



29 Nov 04 - 11:19 AM (#1342135)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: M.Ted

I'm so sorry, Kat--Over the years you have shared him with us, and he's really been a part of the mudcat community--Life is a short and frail thing, but, in song and story, he's touched many of us, and he will live on with us--

29 Nov 04 - 11:24 AM (#1342142)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: John MacKenzie

Kat, have a big hug from Scotland, and hang on those happy memories, Sparky would want you to do that; and to pass on his heritage.

29 Nov 04 - 11:59 AM (#1342181)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Justa Picker

I am so sorry to hear this.
I know and he knew how much you loved him.
My thoughts are with you and your family at this time.


29 Nov 04 - 12:08 PM (#1342186)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: freightdawg

Kat, so sorry to hear of your loss. Our deepest sympathy to you and all your family.

His stories and songs will continue, sometimes in the oddest of places and at the oddest of times. But you will hear his voice and know that he is still with you.

{{{{big hug}}}}


29 Nov 04 - 12:17 PM (#1342195)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Dani

I am so sorry. What a hard time. I'm thinking of you and sending hugs.


29 Nov 04 - 12:18 PM (#1342196)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Metchosin

kat, I'm so sorry. Even when one is expecting it, the loss is no less painful. Take care.

29 Nov 04 - 12:19 PM (#1342198)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: katlaughing

Folks, I need some help with some old feelings. Dealing with his second wife and her kids and grandkids. As little as possible, but still one of them got in a little "dig" and I really want to rise above it. I know it didn't really matter to dad and it shouldn't to me, but they've decided to bury him in Utah instead of over here in CO where his folks are. He wanted a plain pine box which they will not do. They are pillars of the community and have to keep up appearances, imo. They are at least honouring his request that there be no funeral, just a graveside service. They are writing the obit and keeping it short because they don't know how much they will be charged for it and he "didn't leave any money for expenses." I got them to add one line, "he passed his love of music on to his kids."

Please send me some "stay kind and calm" thoughts for the next few days as we try to sort things out, the service as well as his instruments and gifts etc. which we gave him over the years. Sorry if that sounds ghoulish.

Thanks a bunch,


29 Nov 04 - 12:25 PM (#1342208)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: DonMeixner

Hi Kat,

My deepest sympathies to you.

I have little say that you haven't heard. I did notice there is a balance when my Dad died. I have never gotten over the loss but I have never forgotten the stories or the lessons either. And very often when I think back on something he said or had done. I find he has taught a new lesson.

He still keeps teaching and touching me. I'm sure Sparky will do the same for you.


29 Nov 04 - 12:26 PM (#1342209)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: wysiwyg

I'll take a boatload of those feelings for you, Kat, and I have step-family experience to lean on. Just keep moving toward the positive, and leave the rest to your pals here. It's what he left in your heart that matters, and you get to keep it ALL.


29 Nov 04 - 12:29 PM (#1342210)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Peace

Goodnight, Sparky.

Sorry, Kat.


29 Nov 04 - 12:36 PM (#1342213)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: open mike

Oh, Kat, darling...this is salt in the wound!
Blessings on you in this difficult time and I
hope and pray that you are able to find peace
in all of this. I can envision him riding off
into the sunset, and being in a place of joy
and peace. I hope that you will be able to find
that place as well. Was there a will or any
legal documantation which records his wishes?
Try to understatnd that this "other" family
must be feeling his loss as well. Is there
anyone you can turn to for advice and assistance
in these matters? (some times rules and regulations
do not allow simple pine boxes any more)
my heart goes out to you and your family
and I will put on Sparky's songs now to
let his spirit soar!
I hope you might be able to get the tapes
I sent of my christmas radio show....if not
let me know and i will send you another copy!
Close your eyes, and take a deep breath and
when you let it go, also let your anger and
pain and sorrow go. When you breathe in, feel
renewing energy return.

29 Nov 04 - 12:38 PM (#1342216)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: GUEST,Nancy King at work

Kat, so very sorry to hear this sad news. I know you'll miss him, but I'll bet you've got a lot of great memories!

Sending good thoughts your way,

29 Nov 04 - 12:38 PM (#1342217)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: CarolC

So very sorry for your loss, katlaughing. You are inded one of the lucky ones for having had such a father. Our best thought and wishes go to you and your loved ones during this time.

Carol and Rob

29 Nov 04 - 12:58 PM (#1342236)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)

Oh, my honey, I'm holding you and rocking you in my heart. Just feel how loved you are by all of us. Sparky was a light here on earth and he'll go on shining in your heart.

I'm sending calm, centering peace to help you over the difficulties with the step-family. Keep those deep breaths coming, in.... out... in.... out....

You've given so much love and care and know that a little of that is coming back to you now. Just hold on, we're with you.


29 Nov 04 - 01:17 PM (#1342256)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: GUEST,amergin

Katdarling, I wish I could say something to you that would take your pain away, but I can't. He'll always be alive as long as you and your family hold him in your hearts. Share his stories and songs with your grandchildren and their friends. If each succeeding generation passes them down from parent to child, your dear father will be immortal.

I only knew him through the lovely things you have written about him here. However, I have known people like him. The true cowboy, larger than life itself. It may seem that the world is darker when they pass...but that is only if their stories are never told.


29 Nov 04 - 01:18 PM (#1342257)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Micca

kat, if you can, let them do what they need to with the old packing case that Sparky came in, we KNOW he isnt in there anymore, he has moved on into our hearts, where he is in permanent residence, and the empty case matters not an Iota, make your own memorial for him in Colorado if you wish to, even if its just his name and dates on a pine board, or a framed pic with a black ribbon in the corner to show that it is a "past picture" hanging on a wall, or simply the place in the heart that he lived in anyway.
He lives on, not in a stone with his name on it, nor a Monument in St Pauls, but in how we remember him.

" The moving finger writes and having writ
moves on, and all your piety nor wit
can't call it back to cancel half a line
nor all your tears wash out a word of it

29 Nov 04 - 01:30 PM (#1342267)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Wesley S

Kat - Take care of yourself and stay calm if you can. I know how those family situations can be. A loss like this can bring out the worst in a person. But it can bring out the best in a person too. Let your best { Sparky's best } come out now even if you are surrounded by a lot of negative feelings. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Love - Wesley

PS - When the family is driving you crazy just think how Sparky would have acted in the same situation. As Davy Crockett was supposed to have said - "Be sure you're right. Then go ahead".

29 Nov 04 - 01:32 PM (#1342269)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Wesley S


By John Thomas Ely

Oft I sang for my friends, when deaths cold hand I see
When I reach my journeys end, who will sing one song for me ?
I wonder who, will sing for me ?
When I'm called to cross that silent sea
Who will sing for me ?

When friends shall gather round, and look down on me
Will they turn and walk away, or will they sing one song for me?
I wonder who, will sing for me ?
When I'm called to cross that silent sea
Who will sing for me ?

So I'll sing 'til the end, contented I will be
Assured that some friend will sing one song for me.
I wonder who, will sing for me ?
When I'm called to cross that silent sea
Who will sing for me ?

29 Nov 04 - 01:37 PM (#1342273)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Megan L

Kat my dear I'm so glad.

Glad he has no more pain.
Glad he gave you stories and songs.
Glad he left behind so many wonderfull memories
and glad he has left you to carry his candle.

If you feel like a cry go ahead you cry for yourself.

Death may steal from us those we love the most
but it cannot steal the memories we keep within our heart
like the fragrance of a rose remains long aft the flower has past
his sweet and fragrant memories from you will not depart.


29 Nov 04 - 01:48 PM (#1342281)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky

My sincerest condolences to you and your your family.
Please convey to sympathy to Bet as well.
Thank you for getting your Dad's music out to us - there's a treasure indeed.
Oh, and stay above the pettiness;
nothing they dod can spoil your memories of him - but I didn't need to tell you that.

29 Nov 04 - 01:49 PM (#1342282)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Ebbie

I never met Sparky and I have not - yet - met you but you are both very much alive. His 'death' will not change that. Thank you for the gift you and he have given us.


29 Nov 04 - 02:24 PM (#1342308)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky

Lay down my dear brother,
Lay down and take your rest...

Oh Kat, all love and honor to you and your dad. May you find the strength to face what you need to face.

Love and condolences,

29 Nov 04 - 02:50 PM (#1342327)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: RoyH (Burl)

Cry your fill Kat, as I did when my beloved old Dad died eleven years ago. It helps. Try to rejoice in the fact that he has no pain now, and if you are religious be aware that he is 'Leaning On The Everlasting Arm'. In time you will find, as I do even now, some warm memories coming in to soften your grief. When this happens I like to think that Dad is the instigator of these feelings, just letting me know that he still looks out for me and that his love never dies.   Condolences to you and your family. Thoughts and Prayers.

29 Nov 04 - 03:25 PM (#1342344)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Polly Squeezebox

Dear Kat,

Your father has passed over the bridge into the realm of light, and one day he will welcome you to that land and you will be reunited. It does not matter where his empty physical shell is deposited or the container it is left in - it's all simply a form of energy which will return to the Source. Your father will be with you wherever you or other members of your or his family are. So long as he remains in your thoughts and his songs and stories continue his energy continues to still shine in this world.

Go ahead and cry your fill, but realise that you cry for yourself and for your loss. Then, when you are strong enough, also celebrate his passing, and his being, and the gifts he brought and left in this world.

All Blessings to you,


29 Nov 04 - 03:40 PM (#1342352)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Jack The Lad

Sorry to hear of your loss, Kat, May his soul rest in peace.
Jack The Lad

29 Nov 04 - 04:08 PM (#1342370)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: catspaw49

Funny that after we talked last night that Karen asked how your Dad was doing and I admitted not asking you.....said I'd ask next time. Sorry about that Luv...........

You already know what I have to say about this. Immortality is granted only to those who can impact others to the point that they fill the voids in their heart with the memories and pass them along. Your Dad is almost there already. He has been a lucky man to have you to keep him not only vital but to write and remember and often record the stories and songs.....and to have that same person also be so supremely able to pass it along. You were blessed to have him and he will have immortality through you. You'll let us all know when Morgan learns the first of the myriad Sparky tales and songs won't you?

I remember when we were first introduced to him about 6 years ago and I also recall he was a hit with Max and Bert and all of us who gathered for the Mudcat Radio Show. We all are grateful for you sharing him with ought to be obvious on this thread which reads like a Mudcat Old Timer's Club. (Hi Gang...We all came out of the woodwork for this one didn't we?)

And do yourself a favor and forget the other relatives and all of that. The real thing is that regardless of how or where, Sparky will always be with you. And even better, I'd bet there is one of those places we've heard about where his spirit will be happy to get together with you alone..........You had a great love for each other and that force will always find a way.

The best kind of love can take away the pain,
And the best kind of answer has no sound.


29 Nov 04 - 04:09 PM (#1342371)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Phil Cooper

Add my condolences, too, Kat. My thoughts are with you.

29 Nov 04 - 04:37 PM (#1342403)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: vectis

I'm sorry to hear this Kat. My thoughts are with you at this sad time.

29 Nov 04 - 04:50 PM (#1342415)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: katlaughing

There are not enough words to tell you all how very thankfull I am for your kindness and support. I should have said more about the step-family as they really aren't in my face as they could be. He'd been with his wife 30 yrs this coming January. He moved away with her and we rarely had a chance to get together. Of course, that didn't stop our sharing and loving each other. I am lucky in that.

The old cemetery where we kids would like him to be is where all of our ancestors are, including his parents, g-parents, etc., but you know what? Micca and you others are's just the old "carcass" as he would call it, that he used while he was here and if it makes her feel better to have it over there, that's fine.

He was not a perfect man. I don't want anyone thinking that, but he and I had made peace, several times over, talked about any subject under the sun and I am at Peace with his passing. Your words have helped me in that, too. Thank you so much.

Once a friend told me she thought maybe I wouldn't be able to finish the book based on Sparky's oral history until he was gone. I was wondering why I just couldn't get motivated to finish it. Well, now I think she was right because my mind has been full of memories this day...maybe things to add to the book...we'll see. He'd seen a ring-binder prototype of it, so I've no regrets about him not getting to see the end result.

Anyway, I think I am rambling...putting off the toughest part of the day...going to tell my dad's cousin, whom I call my "Aunt" Helen, about his passing. They were very close, she was the sibling he never had. Thank goodness she lives nearby so I can tell her in person.

Earlier today I said to Night Owl, "I keep waiting for the way I think I should feel." That's based on what society says about grief, etc., but my dad and I had a strong spiritual sense of the Beyond and I would bet whoever said he and Alba's dad, Tommy, are probably comparing notes on us is right. Today, at this moment, I feel relieved and grateful. Thanks for listening,


29 Nov 04 - 04:54 PM (#1342419)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Joybell

Dear Kat, We are listening to Sparky's songs. We are so grateful for being able have a little part of him. Thank you so much for sharing him with us. Also for sharing your friendship and memories. Take care. Take yourself off, in your heart, to the wild country where he's surely gone while you have to deal with the awful people. As Micca says he's in our hearts too. Love and gentle thoughts across the miles.
                         Cheery-bye Mr Sparky.

29 Nov 04 - 04:58 PM (#1342423)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Guy Wolff

KAt . I love you <><<> and tons of hugs . Nothing touchs closer to the heart then the things you are breathing through right now. I realy liked what micca said about the family situation . Its not worth the space it takes up at this indiscribable moment . Im thinking of you all day . Guy

29 Nov 04 - 05:01 PM (#1342428)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: GUEST,Dave Swan @work

Hey pal,

I'm so sorry to read about Sparky. It's a big old hole they leave, those parents. I've got nothing smart to say here, only to send my love and big hugs, which I hope will be remembered in those inevitable times when you think about him and realize that he's gone somewhere else.

So...big hugs. Remember that he's left behind a big chunk of himself in you, one of this little village's great people.


29 Nov 04 - 05:06 PM (#1342433)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: GUEST,Pete Peterson

I am sorry! Sparky sounds like a wonderful guy and it doesn't help today, but as time passes and you can remember the good times, hang on to those times when you can remember the good times!
as for his stepfamily-- it was said above, funerals bring out the worst in people as well as the best. Hope you can concentrate on doing & saying things that will help you feel good about yourself in the day they say's to come.
even in sadness I am quoting Charlie Poole
never thrist Kat

29 Nov 04 - 05:27 PM (#1342454)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: van lingle

My condolences, kat. He sounds like he was quite a guy and he truly left quite a daughter. Dave

29 Nov 04 - 06:00 PM (#1342490)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Amos

Dear Kat:

I loved knowing he was around, even though I had only heard his tape. Hugs and condolences,


29 Nov 04 - 06:30 PM (#1342535)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Morticia

I'm so sorry,Kat and Bet..........(((hugs)))

29 Nov 04 - 06:51 PM (#1342563)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: wysiwyg

You are doing it all exactly right, Kat. I'm sure Sparky's very proud of how you've conducted yourself today, inside and out.


29 Nov 04 - 06:53 PM (#1342566)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: emjay

So sorry, but glad you had lots of time to talk about everything and heal any thing that might have needed healing.
I'm sure the other family loved and will miss him, too. You each had different times and have different memories. As others have said you can make your own memorial to him where you want it to be. What they are doing will certainly help them grieve.   How wonderful for him that he had all of you to love him.

29 Nov 04 - 07:08 PM (#1342584)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: maire-aine

Dear Kat, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. But from what I've read, you've been a wonderful daughter-- I'm sure he's proud of you. The next few days and weeks are going to be hard. So gather your family and friends around you, and let them comfort you. Here's one more hug. {{{{Kat}}}}.


29 Nov 04 - 07:14 PM (#1342593)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Susanne (skw)

I'm sad to hear of your loss, Kat. Losing a beloved parent is too soon whenever it happens. But your dad has left you great memories, songs you can hand on (I know you've already done so), and will certainly be with you as long as any of that remains. On the other hand, maybe at his age and with what he had to bear he was entitled to his rest. It's what life is about. My sympathy to you and your family!

29 Nov 04 - 08:08 PM (#1342636)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: jaze

My deepest sympathy too, Kat. Your were lucky to have him so long and to have such great memories. Always remember that and try not to be too sad. Jaze

29 Nov 04 - 08:18 PM (#1342647)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: GUEST,Brendy

Very sorry to hear this kat.
Please accept my deepest condolences to you and your family.

All the best


29 Nov 04 - 08:30 PM (#1342657)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: GUEST,kmorris

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad.
I lost mine almost 16 years ago. I wish I
was with you to give you a hug and tell you
that he hasn't left you at all. All that energy
that him is still with you and always
will be.


29 Nov 04 - 08:46 PM (#1342670)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Boab

I'm with you, Kat; love remains forever, time leaves pain behind. I've been there, once or twice----

29 Nov 04 - 09:29 PM (#1342703)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: IvanB

kat, I'm so sorry to see this as one of the first threads as I log on tonight. There's little I can do or say to ease your pain, but know that my positive thoughts are wending your way to make their small contribution with those of so many others. I know when my mother died a few years ago, the pain was acute and seemed that it would be endless, but I soon realized that we'd said everything that needed to be said to one another and I was the richer for that. Having read your posts about the sharing between you and Sparky over the past few years, I'm sure your experience will be similar.

Your best memorial to Sparky will be in letting us all see that which he instilled in you. I, and I'm sure many others of this community, will be with you in spirit over the next few days. Be well.

29 Nov 04 - 09:32 PM (#1342711)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: GUEST,Art Thieme

Kat, I think I've told you that these days when folks ask, "How are you doing?"---I generally answer, "Just fine; I ignore the rest."----And I do my damndest to do just that. It's hard to do sometimes. You gettin' discommoded by the Sackville Baggins's doing their disruptive thing just isn't good for your own health right now.


29 Nov 04 - 09:36 PM (#1342718)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Amos

I suspect he's singing trail songs more lustily than he has in years, and grinning like the cat that swallered the canary. I would be, in his shoes.


29 Nov 04 - 09:38 PM (#1342723)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Seamus Kennedy

Hey Kat. I just got my cookie back. I was wondering if Rick has wandered over to welcome Sparky....
A little pickin' and singin' perhaps?
Good thoughts, luv.


29 Nov 04 - 10:28 PM (#1342765)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Mary in Kentucky

Love and condolences to you, kat.

30 Nov 04 - 12:13 AM (#1342844)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: KT

Aw, kat, I'm so, so sorry. There is a void around here tonight as we all share the pain of your loss. Know that you are being held, my friend, by more than you realize. Lots of love to you katdarlin'.


30 Nov 04 - 12:18 AM (#1342848)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Melani

I'm so sorry.

30 Nov 04 - 12:28 AM (#1342855)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Little Hawk

I hope you are getting through this okay, Kat. The passing of a parent is a huge crossing in which I have yet to deal with. My dad is 81, and I don't think he'll be here 5 years from now. My mother is about 76, and will probably be around for quite some time yet. But one never can say for sure.

I will be sending my thoughts and prayers your way.

30 Nov 04 - 12:38 AM (#1342864)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Rustic Rebel

Kat, You have been blessed with a father that gave you song in your life and heart. That part will never die and I don't think the Spark in Sparky will either. You take care and keep the calm. I send you a hug and my love.

30 Nov 04 - 12:43 AM (#1342867)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: alison

so sorry kat - much love from Australia



30 Nov 04 - 01:04 AM (#1342881)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky

best wishes from the fringe ...

30 Nov 04 - 02:07 AM (#1342912)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: alanabit

Sorry to hear the news. I can't say I know how it feels,because these things are different for every person. It sounds like you made a success of that relationship when he was alive, so no doubt you will make a good job of it now too. Will be thinking of you - along with many folks here.

30 Nov 04 - 02:51 AM (#1342926)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: RichM

I'm sorry for your loss.
Bless him, and you.

30 Nov 04 - 04:05 AM (#1342954)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Bassic


After the pain and sadness will come the smiles. I think I can see a couple of them in what you have said already. Smile for Sparky and know I and many others will be smiling with you.


30 Nov 04 - 04:06 AM (#1342955)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Partridge

So sorry to hear this Kat, you know my thoughts on this, I bet Sparky's with you helping you to rise above any pettiness. I send my love to you, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.


Pat xxxxxx

30 Nov 04 - 04:38 AM (#1342972)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: fat B****rd

I'm sorry for your loss, Kat. All the best from Charlie.

30 Nov 04 - 07:41 AM (#1343060)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: KathWestra

Love to you, dear one. All's been said so well by others. Your Dad Sparky gave us a wonderful daughter and friend. His songs and his love of life are safe with you. My heart is sad with you, and I wish you the strength to deal with each different day as it rolls around. These things take time, and you'll find yourself surprised by both the good stuff and the sad stuff as it nudges, tickles, or smacks you upside the head at unexpected times. Most important thing to remember is that the cycle of your grief and love is yours alone. Whatever you do, don't let anyone tell you when you "should" be done with it. Much love and a hug from Maine, Kathy

30 Nov 04 - 10:55 AM (#1343236)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Wolfgang

Very sorry about your loss.


30 Nov 04 - 11:35 AM (#1343292)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: katlaughing

Ah, my friends, thank you so much. I drew such strength from your kind words and support, yesterday. For my Aunt Helen's sake I was able to stay calm and supportive for her and we had a wonderful couple of hours of her telling me stories about my dad and mom and of her own family. Her mom was my dad's mom's sister.

I have spoken with his widow this morning. She called to let me know they will have a viewing on Thursday for all of his friends. During this they will play his music and display his instruments. Then, on Friday, they will have a graveside service. My sisters and brother all grieved many years ago when he left our family to marry her, and we aren't any of very religious in that way, so I think we won't be going over. I am very okay with that as was my dad. We'd talked about it several times. They don't expect us to make the trip, plus I am not sure I am up to it physically.

I am quite grateful for her call as she went on to tell me that she wants my sister, Priscilla, to have the banjo and me to have his fiddle. What more can I say? They are both family heirlooms and such precious connections to him....I almost can't wait to rub the wood, to feel the bow and place my thumb on the frog just so as he had done. Such a tangible part of him...I am gratefull.

And now to rest, sweet Daddy, and our thanks to you all for listening and caring. My heart is full.


30 Nov 04 - 11:51 AM (#1343303)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: wysiwyg

He loved you all.... you all have, and keep, a part of him.... the way they will do the viewing sounds quite wonderful. I hope you will get a chance to hear how that was for the people who were there.

And I'm glad the music part of him you knew so well was something he could share with them, and that they could see it too-- that he affected them the way he obviously did. The "right" parts have a way of making themselves known, don't they?

And the fiddle, that he held close to his heart. Perfect.


30 Nov 04 - 01:42 PM (#1343452)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: rock chick

Sounds like you had a great dad, mine was only 49 when he passed away, i still have the occasiponal cry, you have great memories of him which when you are feeling sad and down just think about the good times, they will bring a smile to your face.

Shelagh X

30 Nov 04 - 01:45 PM (#1343459)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: RangerSteve

I'm sorry to hear the news. He sounded like a great guy.

30 Nov 04 - 02:55 PM (#1343516)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: GUEST,Mark Clark


I'm so sorry to learn of your dad's passing. Through your stories and his own recordings, I could almost feel as though I knew him a little. Please accept my warmest condolences.

      - Mark

30 Nov 04 - 07:13 PM (#1343759)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Joybell

Kat, I sent this to you but it occurred to me that it would be good to share here. Not all of it is appropriate for now, but some is. It's by the author of The Desiderata, Max Ehrmann. My grandmother used bits of it through her sermons, back in the early 1920s but it's not well known. It seems to cut across belief systems and I like it a lot.

The Uses of the Stars
(my Grandma's title. Ehrmann didn't give it one.)
Let me do my work each day; and if the darkened hours of despair
overcome me, may I not forget the strength that comforted me
in the desolation of other times.

May I still remember the bright hours that found me walking over
the silent hills of my childhood, or dreaming on the margin of a quiet
river, when a light glowed within me, and I promised my early God
to have courage amid the tempests of the changing years.

Spare me from bitterness and from the sharp passions of unguarded
moments. May I not forget that poverty and riches are of the spirit.
Though the world knows me not, may my thoughts and actions be
such as shall keep me friendly with myself.

Lift up my eyes from the earth, and let me not forget the uses of the
stars. Forbid that I should judge others lest I condemn myself.
Let me not follow the clamor of the world, but walk calmly in my

Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am; and keep ever
burning before my vagrant steps the kindly light of hope.

And though age and infirmity overtake me, and I come not within
sight of the castle of my dreams, teach me still to be thankful for
life, and for time's olden memories that are good and sweet; and
may the evening's twilight find me gentle still.

Love, Joy

30 Nov 04 - 09:04 PM (#1343841)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: katlaughing

You are all such beautiful Hearts and Spirits and People. Thank you. I forgot to say please excuse me if it takes me a bit to answer all of your lovely PMs. They are greatly appreciated and I will get back to you.

Thanks, Joy, for sharing that here. It is just beautiful. I'd also like to share this which was a favourite of Dad's:

A Cowboy's Prayer

    Oh, Lord, I've never lived where churches grow.
    I love creation better as it stood
    That day you finished it so long ago.
    And looked upon your work and called it good.
    I know that others might find You in the light
    That's sifted down through tinted window panes,
    And yet I seem to feel You near tonight.
In this dim, quiet starlight on the plains.

    Let me be easy on the man that's down;
    Let me be square and generous with all.
    I'm careless sometimes, Lord, when I'm in town,
    But never let them say I'm mean or small!
    Make me as big and open as the plains,
    As honest as the hoss between my knees,
    Clean as the wind that blows behind the rains,
    Free as the hawk that circles down the breeze!

    I thank you, Lord, that I am placed so well,
    That you made my freedom so complete;
    That I'm no slave to whistle, clock, or bell,
    Nor weak-eyed prisoner of wall and street.
    Just let me live my life as I've begun
    And give me work that is open to the sky;
    Make me a pardner of the wind and sun,
    And I won't ask a life that's soft or high.

    Forgive me, Lord, if sometimes I forget.
    You know about the reasons that are hid.
    You understand the things that gall and fret;
    You know me better than my mother did.
    Just keep an eye on all that's done and said
    And right me, sometimes, when I turn aside,
    And guide me on the long, dim trail ahead
    That stretches upward toward the Great Divide.

    Badger Clark

and, I think Dad would have loved this one I jsut found whilst looking for the would have brought tears to his eyes as it has mine..a great new discovery:

I was moping around the outer corrals
of a friend of mine's ranch one day.
When I seen this old gray haired cowboy,
kneel down to the ground to pray.

He said, "Good morning Sir, it's just me again,
and I reckon I'm feeling alright,
except yesterday's heat hung on for quite a spell
and I didn't sleep much late last night.

But, I thought I'd stop and kinda talk awhile
just to let you know I'm still around.
I haven't accomplished a lot lately Lord,
I'm just trying to hold this cow job down.

Now you know how it is in the cow game Lord,
when the moisture all leaves the ground.
The grass all dies and the sand starts to blow
and it kinda of keeps the calf crop down.

Ya see, the water holes are nearly dried up Lord
and the cattle's getting thinner somewhat,
but, five or six days of good heavy rain
it'd sure help out a mighty lot.

Now I ain't got no favors to ask for myself,
I reckon things are alright by me,
except that climb to my saddle gets higher everyday
or maybe my knees are getting weak.

So excuse me Sir for taking up your time
but I had a few things to say,
we could sure use a little bit of moisture Sir
if you'd care to send a little bit our way."

Well I slowly turned and I walked away
and I stepped thru the door of a shed,
and I was down right ashamed for standing so quite
eaves-dropping the way that I did.

Just to think this old man, just a common hard hand,
although he never asked a thing for himself,
yet he knelt and talked to God like a friend
as he prayed for somebody else.

Well, we missed that old man at breakfast next morn
when he didn't sit down to his plate
and when we went to the bunkhouse we'd found him dead
but he died with a smile on his face.

And if you should wonder if this story is true
or if maybe it's just a refrain,
when we buried that old cowboy that same afternoon
it had already started to rain.

© Doyle R. Quinn I 1963

30 Nov 04 - 09:44 PM (#1343868)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Bill D

I'm late to the thread, and can't add much to what all these folks have said. Sparky stayed around long enough to put his imprint...especially the musical parts, on those, like you, who needed it. His 'essence' is clear to those who knew him, and you are setting down the details. What more can anyone wish for out of life, than to be remembered fondly and memorialized with the things that matter to him?

...the fiddle will be a good thing to have..............

30 Nov 04 - 10:57 PM (#1343939)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: open mike

is Priscilla the same person as BET?
Well, It sounds like it is going to turn out
o.k. then. The fiddle will have so many special memories..
Glad you will be able to have it.
thank you for sharing all of this with us..
it is good to be connected
to your family...

30 Nov 04 - 11:38 PM (#1343971)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Lonesome EJ

He had a great face, kat. Kind of bony and angular, cowboy-tough but with that slight twist of a grin and eyes squinted from looking into the wind and the sun. I liked the Cowsongs, too.
It hurts I know, but someday you'll need an answer to one of life's enigmas, and he'll give you the answer, and you'll know that there's some of him inside you whenever you need him.


01 Dec 04 - 01:02 AM (#1344021)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Mudlark

Ah, Kat, so sorry to hear of this. I hope, in fact I'm sure that your writing will be of great help to you in healing from the grief death brings. You will reap such benefits from all the talking you did together, all the time you put in to make sure your relationship with him remained rich and fulfilling. You were both very lucky to have each other. And to have his fiddle...perfect.

01 Dec 04 - 03:39 AM (#1344087)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Hrothgar

Thoughts, kat.

01 Dec 04 - 05:03 AM (#1344129)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Pistachio

The sun is caught upon the clouds as I look from this room
through tears that freely fall to ground as I read from the screen
It's twenty years this month now here, since my loved Dad did go
I wonder if he knew how much I really loved him so.
The sadness here for your Dad, the words you all do write
bring out the deepest sorrow but help to see the light
of love that is around you, from friends and strangers too
Please accept my sympathy,it's heartfelt - it's for you.

01 Dec 04 - 05:30 AM (#1344147)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: GUEST,Jon

I'm sorry kat.


01 Dec 04 - 05:43 AM (#1344158)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)

Oh, Kat, hie fiddle- what a gift. And thanks for the wonderful cowboy poem/prayers.
We sang for you and Sparky again last night. Keep remembering how you are loved.



01 Dec 04 - 09:27 AM (#1344306)
Subject: RE: Obit: Sparky
From: Big Mick

kat, if you go back and read this thread you will note that it disproves your original post. You said: more stories, no more songs...

The simple truth is that your father lives on in the things you share with those of us that care about you. He will live on in that beautiful boy that your daughter has given us. He will live on in the hidden treasure of the music he listened to and sang for you. I often say that we must now look in others for the voice of those that have passed. But for several years now I have marvelled at how you and bet were already making his voice heard. No looking necessary here, dearie. He is alive in you and for you.

I can tell a lot about folks by their children. Sparky raised a remarkable woman in you. God be good to him.

Love and prayers,