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BS: being late for work

17 Nov 03 - 07:50 AM (#1055359)
Subject: BS: being late for work
From: muppett

I bet we've all been late for work at some time, but what excuses have you given, here a few to start the thread off;

First of all define what youmean by late.

I lost the instructions for my alarm clock.

I'm awake & dressed. what more do you want.

My dog ate the car keys and I had to wait for him to take a dump to get them back.

I'm not late. I just thought I'd turn up eary for tommorrow.

I have a morbid fear of making left turns, so I had to drive to the end of the moterway.

I overslept & dreamed that my job sucked, the pay was lousy & that you were an a**hole.

My car doors were frozen shut and I had to wait for the sun to thaw them out.

17 Nov 03 - 08:06 AM (#1055375)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: GUEST,Sttaw Legend

Park Street bridge was up.

I had to sow a button on my sock.

17 Nov 03 - 08:07 AM (#1055378)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: GUEST,MC Fat

the voices in my head told me to polish my gun

17 Nov 03 - 08:13 AM (#1055381)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: Beverley Barton

i just had to listen to the harri watts band new CD all the way through, it's just so good!!

17 Nov 03 - 08:13 AM (#1055383)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: Willie-O

I hit a deer at 6:15 a.m.

No damage to my truck, and the deer got up and ran away, but my taillights stopped working so I had to wait until it was light to proceed!

True story.

Then there was the insult to idiocy. When I was working evening shift help desk, I went to start my truck and it was dead in the driveway. Had to get a boost from my neighbour, (mortifying since I am always giving her helpful lectures about vehicle maintenance) which put me half an hour behind my no-extra-time schedule. Twenty minutes down the road (just past where I hit the deer, which happened six months later), I had to wait forever to make a left turn onto Highway 7. Must have waited five minutes at the stop sign. As soon as I got onto the highway I overcompensated--within fifteen seconds an OPP cruiser coming the other way had clocked me at 121 km/hr in an 80 zone. (I never usually go over 105 on that road cause it's crawling with radar). He wrote me out not only my first ever speeding ticket, was the week after my birthday and I had forgotten to renew my licence plates! (It was a great party though) Double DUHHHH! Needless to say he took his time with the paperwork.

Then my supervisor at work apologetically brought me an "acknowledgement"--Bell corporate-speak for a minor written warning--to sign for coming in late. I just laughed and signed it, told him it was the least of my troubles for the day. Cost me $230 just to go to work late...

once and future commuter

17 Nov 03 - 08:35 AM (#1055395)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: Rapparee

I was barreling down the highway, knowing that I was going to be late no matter what I did. Came over the top of a hill and found myself staring down the muzzle of the cannon of an M-60 tank. As I braked to a stop, my first thought was that the Ohio State Patrol was REALLY cracking down on speeders.   Turned out that it had been taken off a broken-down transporter vehicle that was moving it from one end of a nearby military base to another. Twenty minutes later it was reloaded and on the way -- I had the cops write my boss a note, 'cause she sure wouldn't have believed me.

Another time we were caught in a blizzard, spent a night in the car on the Interstate and another in a Baptist Church before we could get home. Since I was three days late for work by the time I got home, it was a good thing that I had the newspaper stories to back my up. My job, which was in a "snow belt" area, had received an inch of snow; further south, where we lived and got stuck, had received 36 inches!

17 Nov 03 - 08:48 AM (#1055400)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: Cobble

! was cycling to work over the docks, when my bike wheels got stuck between the railway lines. So I had to ride all the way to the junction to get off.

       Honest Cobble.

17 Nov 03 - 09:45 AM (#1055432)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: Dave Bryant

I don't need an excuse when I have to travel in on train services provided by two of our privatised rail companies - South Eastern Trains (was Connex SE until they lost the franchise) and South West Trains.

17 Nov 03 - 10:16 AM (#1055450)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: Mickey191

A nice looking fellow moved in across the hall from my apartment. I'd seen him in Church years before-but we'd never spoken. I noticed that he drove the same street that I walked. Heard his ap't. door close,and he's heading to the garage for his car. I start running in a most lady like fashion in high heels, we both get to a stop light at the same moment...He taps his horn and says, "Would you like a ride?" Of course I answer in the affirmative,"I'm running late.Thanks"
Two years later we were married. Oh the things we women do snare a fella'- and yes I told him a bit later what I'd done. I was a half hour late for work, cause we stopped for coffee. My boss enjoyed the story & didn't dock me.

17 Nov 03 - 01:06 PM (#1055585)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: Ebbie

In Juneau it's a valid excuse to call in and say, I'm going to be late. I can't scare the bear away from my car.

17 Nov 03 - 01:41 PM (#1055617)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: Nigel Parsons

"Sorry I'm late, there's eight in my family, but the alarm clock was only set for 'Seven'"

17 Nov 03 - 01:56 PM (#1055629)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: Bill D

the only time I was EVER late for work, there was an ice storm that left the streets I couldn't get up the tiny grade away from my house. Took me 10-15 tries and backing up a block and getting a long, slow run at it,,

18 Nov 03 - 12:11 PM (#1056287)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: Mrs.Duck

I once had to ring from the end of the street where I worked to say I was in a traffic jam. Could have walked in 2 minutes but couldn't leave the car and was there for nearly half an hour. Wasn't actually late though because I am always 40 minutes early! Slight deviation - on one occasion I was unable to get to work as the snow ploughs had been out and cleared the road but piled all the slush along in front of our drive and it had frozen so I couldn't get the car out! Two feet of solid grey ice!

18 Nov 03 - 02:54 PM (#1056430)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: Liz the Squeak

I used to make up all sorts of excuses for being late for school and get away with it, but the one time our chimney caught fire and I had to wait for the fire brigade with my disabled mother, the teacher didn't believe me and I got detention for telling the truth!

I have the joys of flexible working hours so there is no such thing as being late. I can be too early though, if I arrive before 7.00am (which has happened more than once!) I have to sign in and be escorted to the foyer where I have to wait until 6.55am when the cleaning staff finish and we are allowed up to our desks.


18 Nov 03 - 03:29 PM (#1056449)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work

Excuses? I just have to show my collection of London Underground refund vouchers - I should get over a weeks free travel when my annual expires.

18 Nov 03 - 06:51 PM (#1056541)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work

I had the misfortune to spend a year trying to place welfare mothers in decent jobs so that they could get out of the "system". The best (worst) excuse? "My boyfriend wanted sex. How could I say 'No'?" That was what she told her employer just before I got the call that she was fired. I always and somewhat naively wondered why the boyfriend wasn't getting ready for work instead of screwing around.

Before the protests start. My experience was not that these ladies didn't want to work. The tragedy was that they desperately wanted to succeed but hadn't a clue as to how to go about it. Everything was an issue - being on time, showing up every day, dress codes, staying on the job site during business hours, jealous boyfriends taking up residence at the job site, etc.

19 Nov 03 - 07:10 PM (#1057301)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: GUEST,Duane D. at the library

Just remember, if you get to work late, make up for it by leaving work early........

20 Nov 03 - 04:40 PM (#1058030)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: YorkshireYankee

"I dreamt I got up, did all the usual morning things & went to work."

True story... I was waked up by the phone ringing; it was my boss, asking "And did your royal highness have a good sleep?" NOT one of my most glorious moments...



20 Nov 03 - 05:21 PM (#1058055)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: GUEST,Peter from Essex

I used to work with a guy whose timekeeping was so bad that he arranged for the receptionist to give him an alarm call when she arrived at 8.

Her first notification of his house move was when a BT official turned up to investigate a complaint from the purchaser of his old house. The fact that her normal script for the call was "get out of bed you lazy sod!" didn't help in the least.

20 Nov 03 - 06:21 PM (#1058089)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: Liz the Squeak

I think my best one to date has to be 'I'm sorry I'm late but President Bush is visiting the British Museum (this was the last time he was here) and the police wouldn't let us off the bus.


21 Nov 03 - 06:06 PM (#1058777)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: LindaG

One morning in the early '70's I tried to open my apartment door to go to work, but the deadbolt lock wouldn't open. I didn't know any of my neighbors.

With my keys in my pocket I climbed out my kitchen window onto a little ledge, waited for someone to pass by, yelled the story to them, threw my keys down to them and they came up and unlocked my door from the outside. My boss did not believe me.

22 Nov 03 - 02:46 PM (#1059172)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: GUEST,Obie

Did Pat Cooksey's boss accept that "Sick Note" or did he get fired? :-}

23 Nov 03 - 02:50 PM (#1059488)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: Mooh

Guest Duane...Lol, we've been saying that for ages, even saw it work once.

Like others, I have a part-time job where nobody would notice if I was late every isn't an issue. One of the best workers we had used to show up only to sleep off his hangover in the staff room. Trust isn't an issue because we can be trusted to do whatever we want anyway. I generally play by the rules, but to me the rules include certain liberties, like release time for gigs, choir practice, and season open for bass and trout. If my work is done no one bothers me.

In my self employment I hear many excuses from students as to why they're late for their lessons. "I was looking for my music" is my favourite because it tells me they haven't likely been practicing. I don't have to ask and they perjure themselves! Doesn't much matter, they pay the same either way.

"I missed her period"...Many years ago when I was young single and drunk, I was awol for a day because my girlfriend told me she was preggers. This is what I told my boss and he was so uptight and straightlaced he wouldn't discuss it, just gave me the day as paid leave. Truth was she did tell me she was up the stump but the real reason for my absence was the subsequent booze binge, without which I would doubtless have been at work. The girl (what was her name?) wasn't actually knocked up but was trying to manipulate me. Isn't youth grand?

I feel a song coming on...


23 Nov 03 - 04:10 PM (#1059526)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: Uncle_DaveO

When I was an early teenager, I had a morning newspaper route. The rules were that all the papers on the route should be delivered by 5:30 a.m.

To make that schedule I'd have to get up at 3:30 a.m. I'd set the alarm for 3:15. When it went off, I'd reset it for 3:30.   At 3:30 I'd reset it for 3:50, and so on. And on. And on.   At 5:30 the distribution manager would call me on the phone, which I'd run downstairs to answer, and now I was up I'd get dressed, go get the papers, and deliver them. They would be delivered by maybe 7:15.

This happened EVERY DAY!

I kept wondering why I didn't get fired.

Then I got a summer job in a hospital (6 days a week, 48 hours, and I was 13, but this was during WW2, and any warm body was employable), and gave up the paper route, which I'd been doing for about two and a half years. Just before going-back-to-school time, I happened to run into the newspaper distribution manager who had had to call me all those hundreds of mornings. He asked what I'd been doing during the summer, and I told him about the summer job, and mentioned I was leaving it to go back to school. He asked if I'd like my old paper route back!

I expressed my surprise that he'd be willing to take me back under the circumstances. He said yes, he hadn't been too wild about calling me every morning, but he appreciated that I did get the papers out every day, come hell or high water, torrential downpour, deep snow, or ice (this was in Minnesota), and that I stuck with the job for so long, when he normally had a terrific turnover of paperboys.

Well, the upshot is that I took the paper route back, and he put up with my lateness for another nine months.

There must be a moral there some place.

Dave Oesterreich

23 Nov 03 - 06:24 PM (#1059568)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: The Fooles Troupe

Sounds like a song in there...

24 Nov 03 - 04:05 AM (#1059745)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: Gurney

My car wouldn't start one day, and I flattened the battery trying.

Then I borrowed my lodger's bicycle, got to within 1/2 mile of work, and collapsed in the snow, exhausted. (Yes, car exhausts too.) Took me about 1/2 hour to recover.
I realised on the way home that there was a very slight downhill gradient all the way.

The problem was, being believed. My job was to start the cars for the very first time, in the factory, as they were assembled. The other guys used to play tricks on me, crossing wires and stunts like that. It was hard to beat me.

(For the 'technical')
The problem with my Land Crab was a cracked cylinder head, between the combustion chamber and the inlet port. Back pressure in the inlet tract.

24 Nov 03 - 10:20 PM (#1060319)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: GUEST,Ely

I've never been late to work (2 1/2 years and counting).

I was late to school once, though, because there was a longhorn bull in the road and he didn't feel like moving. Luckily, my first-period teacher was a rancher's daughter and understood.

25 Nov 03 - 02:38 PM (#1060736)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: LilyFestre

I hate being late. If I have to be late getting to somewhere, I'd rather not go.

On the few occassions that I have been late to work, I am usually greeted with concerned faces having been worried that I was involved in an accident on the way to work!

Yep...I hate being late!!!!


26 Nov 03 - 02:10 PM (#1061420)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work

I've called in well before. Just felt too good to go -

27 Nov 03 - 06:13 AM (#1061885)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: GUEST,Micca at work

My Dear, late, sister Fin elevated lateness to an art form, the one time I EVER remeber her being "early", for dinner at a friends house, she arrived at 7.50 pm for 8 o'clock, she was told she was exactly 23hours 50 minutes late, as the dinner had been the evening before!!!!

27 Nov 03 - 01:01 PM (#1062079)
Subject: RE: BS: being late for work
From: AggieD

I keep having a dream that I'm late for work, but I work for myself from home.
Is there some deep meaning there somewhere?