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BS: Forgotten to clean??

21 Feb 13 - 04:41 PM (#3482180)
Subject: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Bonzo3legs

Always keep several "Get Well Soon" cards on your mantelpiece - when uninvited guests arrive they'll think you've been too ill to clean!!


21 Feb 13 - 05:55 PM (#3482205)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Ebbie

lol


21 Feb 13 - 06:19 PM (#3482210)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Dorothy Parshall

What a great idea!


21 Feb 13 - 06:23 PM (#3482211)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: GUEST,999

If anyone's got anything rude to say about your place, throw 'em the fu#k out!


21 Feb 13 - 06:23 PM (#3482212)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: freda underhill

heh heh :-D


21 Feb 13 - 06:24 PM (#3482213)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: freda underhill

oops, my comment was to the original post!!


21 Feb 13 - 09:38 PM (#3482266)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Bert

Nice one.


21 Feb 13 - 09:40 PM (#3482269)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Ebbie

Most likely any rude comment wouldn't be made to you but to each other after they left.   I like the cards idea. :)


21 Feb 13 - 10:06 PM (#3482273)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: McGrath of Harlow

Why on earth worry?


21 Feb 13 - 10:59 PM (#3482288)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: olddude

Good Idea, I like to keep bed sheets handy and just toss them over the clutter, people think I paint a lot :-)


22 Feb 13 - 04:29 AM (#3482337)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Dave Hanson

Love it Bonzo.

Dave H


22 Feb 13 - 06:50 AM (#3482366)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: gnu

Brilliant!

So... cards AND sheets and they may offer to help paint. Two birds with one ruse.


22 Feb 13 - 10:30 AM (#3482462)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Pete Jennings

That'll explain the two day stubble as well. Well it will for men anyway...


22 Feb 13 - 05:47 PM (#3482619)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: GUEST,leeneia

Another suggestion: throw straight pins around, and people will think you've been sewing.


22 Feb 13 - 06:09 PM (#3482623)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Don Firth

Barbara has cleaning fits fairly often, but--wotthehell!--everybody knows I'm a slob!

Don Firth


22 Feb 13 - 06:32 PM (#3482630)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: gnu

Pete... thanks... brb.


22 Feb 13 - 06:43 PM (#3482634)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: SINSULL

People who complain about my housekeeping skills are not ALLOWED back. Happened once. I am tolerant of observations of cat hair, dust balls, etc. But if "My house made you sick", stay the fuck away.
Someone learned a harsh lesson once.


22 Feb 13 - 08:33 PM (#3482686)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: ChanteyLass

If anyone complains about your housekeeping, send them to my place. Then they will know what poor housekeeping (or total lack of it) is!


23 Feb 13 - 07:22 AM (#3482805)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: jacqui.c

I just don't like housework - if I do it the mess just comes back a couple of days later, anyway.

I work on the basis that the people who matter in my life will not be bothered because Martha Stewart has never lived here and those who bother about that kind of thing aren't really my type of people.


23 Feb 13 - 08:22 AM (#3482831)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: gnu

Martha has staff.


23 Feb 13 - 12:47 PM (#3482915)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Q (Frank Staplin)

If visitors complain about your house-keeping, give them a broom and mop and tell them to get busy.


23 Feb 13 - 01:06 PM (#3482924)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Q (Frank Staplin)

Way up in this thread, McGrath said "why on earth worry?"
If your abode was squeaky chean, those same people would whisper about your "cleanliness obsession."


23 Feb 13 - 08:23 PM (#3483100)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Joe_F

As soon as I get off the Internet (cf. "as soon as this pub closes"), I will sweep & mop the kitchen & bathroom.


23 Feb 13 - 08:31 PM (#3483105)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Midchuck

Another trick, if your house obviously needs painting, is to put a ladder up on the most visible side, and leave it there. This proves that you're working on it.

Unless, of course, you have neighbor kids who'd climb up and fall off, or you live in an area with a lot of unlawful entry types...

P.


23 Feb 13 - 09:02 PM (#3483113)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: gnu

Sayyyy... that might be fun with the unlawful types. Wait until they get on the roof and then remove the ladder.

Call the cops? Noooo. Let em jump.


24 Feb 13 - 09:28 AM (#3483231)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: JohnInKansas

Around the end of WWII there were lots of "retired military" persons writing memoirs and a couple of the momentarily popular writers were former "batmen" who served as personal attendants to high ranking officers.

A couple of them passed on the tip that when pressed for time they carefully polished their officer's "pocket change" and laid it out neatly. When the officer saw that "fastidious attention to detail" they could get by with almost anything, with one guy saying his officer once commented on the coins and didn't notice there was still mud on his boots when he put them on.

Misdirection and diversion of attention are the keys (?).

John


25 Feb 13 - 02:36 AM (#3483447)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Sandra in Sydney

I have a 1 bedroom apartment & don't have enough storage for the interests I have. Plus I HATE CLEANING.

Lots of useful things have to live on the floor - they starts in neat piles (aka mountain ranges) then becomes lava flows.

I just step around it!

Sometimes I have to clean up so I have a place for the visitor chair (aka. storage surface) so almost everything on the floor, & everything on the table & chair ends up on my bed - until the guest leaves.

sandra


25 Feb 13 - 04:05 AM (#3483460)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: JohnInKansas

Unless you have visitors with unusual experience who might be able to tell the difference, a dust bunny looks enough like a hairball that you can just "blame the cat" for almost any little untidiness.

To reinforce the explanation, grabbing a fly-swatter and attacking a piece of fluff, followed by "I thought I saw it move" should get the idea across.

John


25 Feb 13 - 10:10 AM (#3483541)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Pete Jennings

Anybody got a spare cat?


25 Feb 13 - 02:40 PM (#3483614)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: frogprince

I do hope, though, that "forgotten to clean" here refers to household surfaces rather than body parts.


25 Feb 13 - 04:12 PM (#3483637)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Richard Bridge

You mean you don't (gasp) even polish the guitars?


25 Feb 13 - 04:26 PM (#3483643)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: gnu

JiK... "I thought I saw it move"

Hahahahahaaa!


26 Feb 13 - 04:56 PM (#3484020)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: GUEST,van

I have a fridge magnet: "Why should I tidy the house when the world is such a mess."


26 Feb 13 - 06:18 PM (#3484039)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: frogprince

Or, to put it this way...


26 Feb 13 - 09:18 PM (#3484088)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: ChanteyLass

Right! Love that song and Lou and Peter.


26 Feb 13 - 11:57 PM (#3484128)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Gurney

A once friend had a piece of original artwork on the wall, all paisley and whorls and dots.
You had to study it quite closely to read the message.
'Fuck Housework.'
Wish I'd asked for a photocopy.


27 Feb 13 - 03:14 AM (#3484144)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: ragdall

Gurney,
Was it like this?
http://img1.etsystatic.com/001/1/7056584/il_570xN.393675349_88et.jpg

I've considered making this sign:
If my cleaning isn't up to your standards, please let me know?
I'll be happy to provide you with cleaning products for you to use to make the needed improvements.

rags


27 Feb 13 - 04:42 AM (#3484180)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Dave Hanson

I like the Quintin Crisp theory, ' never dust, after it reaches a certain level it never gets any worse '

Dave H


27 Feb 13 - 02:50 PM (#3484411)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Gurney

Sort of drifts in the corner, eh, Dave? I believe that I saw him propound the theory on TV, many years ago.

Ragdall, no, it was more like one of those artworks that you have to stare at until your eyes reach the right focal length/depth, and then suddenly you can see it.


27 Feb 13 - 03:10 PM (#3484419)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: gnu

It's a good thing I don't get high winds in my house. The snowblower would play hell with the hardwood floors.


28 Feb 13 - 03:31 AM (#3484580)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Roger the Skiffler

"My idea of housework is to sweep the floor with a glance"

On an apron i bought for Herself.

RtS


28 Feb 13 - 07:33 AM (#3484631)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: jonm

As she tells it, shortly after my mother married (1960), her mother-in-law came to call and freely referred to "inspecting" her housekeeping skills. A bit of a battleaxe, my grandma.

After she had gone, my mother found a penny had been left on one of the pelmets in the living room. A pelmet is like a box which covers the top of the curtains.

My mother replaced it with two ha'pennies.


28 Feb 13 - 11:32 AM (#3484710)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Becca72

My brain just did it's own thread title combo and I saw this title and the thread below it as "Forgot to clean yourself??" Yeesh


28 Feb 13 - 11:38 AM (#3484714)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Amos

SOme people clean up because they want an orderly playing field in which to make messes. It's part of the game, like washing dishes.


28 Feb 13 - 03:52 PM (#3484795)
Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: gnu

"My mother replaced it with two ha'pennies."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEE! That's a hoot and a half!!!