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BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets

08 Aug 11 - 10:04 AM (#3203853)
Subject: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: Rapparee

Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said, 'I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal and God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'

And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'

And God said, 'I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility, and they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.


And Cat . . .

. . .didn't give a shit one way or the other.


08 Aug 11 - 10:50 AM (#3203879)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: Midchuck

True, but...a cat DOES give a shit. Often.

Peter


08 Aug 11 - 10:58 AM (#3203884)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: GUEST,Eliza

Lovely story, Rapparee LOL. Cats all have different personalities, as we do. Some give a shit and others don't. But animal companions are wonderful to have. Can't imagine life without some creature at my side (apart from my husband of course, who generally DOES give a shit, bless him!)


08 Aug 11 - 01:58 PM (#3204010)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: Jack the Sailor

Do they give a shit?

Or take one?


08 Aug 11 - 02:23 PM (#3204020)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: Becca72

My cats give a shit. I am "She who turns on the water faucet" which they all prefer to drinking from a bowl.


08 Aug 11 - 02:39 PM (#3204026)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: GUEST,Eliza

Last year one of my cats learned how to turn on the kitchen tap, and we had to put a bowl over it at night. (We're on a water meter!)


08 Aug 11 - 05:54 PM (#3204163)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: gnu

Hahahahahahaa. Thanks, I needed that.


08 Aug 11 - 06:03 PM (#3204173)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: Anne Lister

I've heard a version of this before but I think I prefer this one. Although we have a cat who in many ways behaves more like the "Dog" of this tale, who loves us unconditionally and clearly DOES give a shit. Or several shits, even.


08 Aug 11 - 07:59 PM (#3204257)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: Charley Noble

Nicely told!

But I'm not going to retell it to our cats.

Charley Noble


08 Aug 11 - 11:34 PM (#3204359)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: Mrrzy

And then there's this...


09 Aug 11 - 09:07 AM (#3204542)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: John P

Dog's diary:
"Someone came to the door today and I barked and barked 'cause they might have been dangerous, and we went to the park and I peed! I smelled stuff and then I pooped!!! I peed some more!! Food! They gave me food and I chased a duck. Your shoe tastes really good!"

Cat's diary:
"Day 459 of my imprisonment:"


09 Aug 11 - 02:08 PM (#3204738)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: McGrath of Harlow

Humans have dogs for pets. Cats have humans.


09 Aug 11 - 03:12 PM (#3204777)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: lefthanded guitar

A dog looks at its owner and thinks - you feed me,you keep me safe and warm in your home ,you take care of me when I'm sick, and you give me love and admiration and affection. You must be God.

A cat looks at its owner and thinks- you feed me, you keep me safe and warm in your home, you take care of me when Im sick , and you give me love and admiration and affection.

I must be God.

And personally........ I much prefer the cats.


09 Aug 11 - 05:40 PM (#3204886)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: Becca72

Amen, Left.


09 Aug 11 - 06:01 PM (#3204896)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: Little Hawk

I've had Dachshunds who thought they were God. Or Napoleon. Or something along that line.


09 Aug 11 - 07:14 PM (#3204943)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: SINSULL

I love my kitties - silly bunch - but I really miss Seamus.


09 Aug 11 - 07:26 PM (#3204949)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: catspaw49

Having a new rescue who is trying to adapt to our five cats and learning that cats rule.....this is of course funnier than hell by being completely true!

Spaw


22 Apr 20 - 02:12 PM (#4047646)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: keberoxu

Having no pets, I envy those of us Mudcatters who have them.

I hear that there has been an increase in
adoptions of rescue animals from shelters
in order to relieve human isolation
during the restrictions of the pandemic requirements,
is there any truth to this?

How are your companion animals
faring during the stay-at-home,
shelter-in-place compliance?


23 Apr 20 - 07:42 AM (#4047801)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: Donuel

The cats check in twice a day on Zoom.


23 Apr 20 - 08:08 AM (#4047812)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: An Buachaill Caol Dubh

My wee Muckie is gazing out of the window with a puzzled expression, I assume because things are so quiet. Mind you, he always has quite a puzzled expression, though I have tended to see it as "amiable". So glad the original post has been revived, too; had heard the one about "feeding" and different beliefs about God before, but not the Biblical origin of the Best Friend. Woof!


23 Apr 20 - 08:23 AM (#4047818)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: Senoufou

Rescue Cat MickeyPickey/Sam the Skull (officially 'Spirit') diary:-

Got up at dawn, moseyed over to Senoufou's house. Pooed and weed among her flowers. Sat on The Bench for two hours until the lazy woman got up at 6am. Gobbled up her proffered dish of Purina best cat food and a small bowl of milk.
Noticed BinkyWinky, stupid female thing, in the back garden. Jumped on her, bit and scratched her idiotic face. Got shooed away by Senoufou (silly woman). Had to go back across the road to my rescue owners, with their three dogs and three other cats. Hate it there, no peace and only dry biscuits to eat.
Will mosey over again to beg her pardon and say sorry. Stupid woman loves me and will forgive me no doubt about that!


23 Apr 20 - 08:44 AM (#4047825)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: Sandra in Sydney

Years ago someone posted the story of the creation of the world, how Cat finished up creating central heating so she would be warm & then realised she needed people to open doors & close the door & open the door & close the door & ...

Sometime after reading that I saw Cat in action at a singing session - the person nearest the door had to get up to let her out & let her in again & let her out ...

sandra


23 Apr 20 - 10:38 AM (#4047849)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: Donuel

In my neighborhood people walk their cats, without a leash of course.
The cats always lag 10 or 20 meters behind and require some pleading and begging to catch up every now or then. The humans usually also have a dog leading the whole procession.


23 Apr 20 - 01:05 PM (#4047876)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: Donuel

They say that pets are good for your blood pressure and immunity system. Scientists needed maany other conditions to compare and after a year they found that pets are good for your health but no more than people with a Mercedes and no pets.


24 Apr 20 - 05:02 PM (#4048242)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: Bonzo3legs

We were watching Dire Straits video from 1988 with Eric Clapton in the band, through which our greyhound was sleeping until EC played a very shrill solo, at which point said hound raised her head and pricked up her ears!


26 Apr 20 - 08:57 AM (#4048594)
Subject: RE: BS: The Real Story Behind Our Pets
From: keberoxu

The cats, during the shelter-in-place restrictions,
must wonder what has got into their humans.