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Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies

Bob Bolton 08 Jan 07 - 06:21 PM
Forsh 08 Jan 07 - 06:48 PM
Cluin 08 Jan 07 - 06:53 PM
Forsh 08 Jan 07 - 06:53 PM
Bill D 08 Jan 07 - 07:03 PM
Cluin 08 Jan 07 - 07:10 PM
Midchuck 08 Jan 07 - 07:21 PM
Cluin 08 Jan 07 - 07:25 PM
Micca 08 Jan 07 - 07:33 PM
Cluin 08 Jan 07 - 07:36 PM
Cluin 08 Jan 07 - 07:46 PM
Cluin 08 Jan 07 - 07:51 PM
Big Al Whittle 08 Jan 07 - 08:06 PM
Severn 08 Jan 07 - 10:41 PM
Jacob B 09 Jan 07 - 12:49 AM
Bert 09 Jan 07 - 01:49 AM
Micca 09 Jan 07 - 02:52 AM
jonm 09 Jan 07 - 03:00 AM
Flash Company 09 Jan 07 - 10:10 AM
EBarnacle 09 Jan 07 - 10:48 AM
Dead Horse 09 Jan 07 - 01:59 PM
Dead Horse 09 Jan 07 - 02:51 PM
GUEST,Jimlad(guest) 09 Jan 07 - 03:57 PM
GUEST,ken Brock 09 Jan 07 - 04:28 PM
GUEST,Ken Brock 09 Jan 07 - 04:37 PM
MartinRyan 09 Jan 07 - 04:50 PM
Cluin 09 Jan 07 - 05:25 PM
GUEST,old git 10 Jan 07 - 09:50 AM
GUEST 10 Jan 07 - 09:59 AM
Splott Man 10 Jan 07 - 11:07 AM
GUEST,Terry McDonald 10 Jan 07 - 01:07 PM
Don Firth 10 Jan 07 - 02:26 PM
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Subject: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 06:21 PM

G'day All,

I got to thinking about the short (usually 4-line) parodies of well-known 'folk' songs that used to be dropped into gaps in performances by singers in folk clubs - in my experience, around Sydney in the early 1960s ... the height of the "Folk Boom".

These seemed to be used in somewhat the same way as Jazz groups use (often bawdy) short humorous one- or two-liner jokes (back then; distributed on multi-page roneoed sheets) to fill in awkward gaps between band numbers - but I remember them mostly used, around folk clubs, by solo performers who had that aspect under control, so they seemed more like a deliberate device to settle down the audience / set up a mood / fill in spaces while the performer thought of the next song!

Here are a couple that seem to have remained embedded in dim recesses of my grey matter:

To This Land is Your Land:
This land is my land,
This land is my land,
If you want your own land,
You'd better buy land ...


To Streets of Laredo:
I could see by his outfit that he was a cowboy,
He could see by my outfit I was a cowboy too.
We could both see by our outfits that we were both cowboys;
Get yourself an outfit and be a cowboy too!


To (errr...) Blood on the Saddle... ?:
There was blood on the saddle, there was blood on the ground,
There was blood in a puddle, There was blood all around.
Oh pity the cowboy, all bloody and red -
His horse rolled on him ... and mashed in his head!


To I Walk the Line:
I keep my pants up with a piece of twine,
I keep my eyes wide open all the time.
I keep myself nice and willing, for anything that's thrilling -
'Cause you're mine - please pull the twine!


One that a friend, in a band during the '70s, sang to Botany Bay:
If I had the wings of a bronzewing,
I'd soar on my pin-i-ons so high -
Crash, bang to the middle of Piccadily
...And there I would probably die!

Another that I heard in a Hydro construction camp, in Tasmania, in the mid-'60s, also to Botany Bay:
If I had the wings of an eagle,
And the balls of a king kangaroo -
I'd f**k all the girls in creation ...
And sell the results to the Zoo!

There was also, around Sydney, back when I was a lad, a dubious 4-liner that has to have started off as Charlotte The Harlot ... then crossbred with the Old Tarpaulin Jacket / Dying Whoever genus ... and (locally) was sung to the tune of Botany Bay - but that was something I heard sung my mates, not as a "filler" / "humour item" from performers - and has been passed on to John Mehlberg's Bawdry province!

I would be interested to hear what other 'Catters remember of this aspect of live 'Folk' performance in their own areas ... and to see how widespread the idea was.

Regards,

Bob


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Forsh
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 06:48 PM

All my life,
I've been kissin,
your roight tit
cos yer left one's missin...Oh Boy!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Cluin
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 06:53 PM

(to the tune of "I'll Tell Me Ma")

My Pa told Ma, when he got home
Clean up the house! Get off the phone!
I bust my ass at work all day
While you goof off and spend my pay.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Forsh
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 06:53 PM

Also you may want to try here: CLICK!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:03 PM

WILDWOOOD FLOWER

"Oh my flower of the wildwood is long and she's tall.
If it weren't for her Adam's Apple, she'd have no shape at all.
I can still see her standin' underneath the trees,
Tyin' knots in her stockings to look like she's got knees"

--------------------------------------------------

"Michael, row the boat ashore,
Hallelujah ..
For I fear I've lost my oar.
Hallelujah "

------------------------------------

"Oh, when the saints go marchin' in
Oh when the saints go marchin' in.
Oh lord, I want to see one stumble,
When the saints go marchin' in"

------------------------------------------


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Cluin
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:10 PM

I used to work in Chicago,
At a con-ven-i-ence store.
Oh, I used to work in Chicago.
I did, but I don't anymore.
A lady walked in, with porcelain skin
And I asked her what she came for.
"Liquor," she said,
and lick `er, I did
And I don't work there anymore.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Midchuck
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:21 PM

This is recent - Mike Agranoff sang it at Old Songs 4 or 5 years ago:

Oh, I walked my Collie dog
Over hills and lanes and bowers,
But she wouldna' squat nor piddle
Though we walked for hours and hours.
Will ye go, Lassie, go...

Peter


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Cluin
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:25 PM

One from the Corries:

On the bosom of young Abigail
Was written the price of her tail
And upon her behind
For the use of the blind
Was the same information in braille


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Micca
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:33 PM

Out in the West Texas town of El Paso
I met a girl
and got shot
and I died


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Cluin
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:36 PM

One from Kenny Price:

This is the shortest song in the world.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Cluin
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:46 PM

Old King Cole was a merry old soul
And a merry old soul was he
He called for his pipe and he called for his bowl
And he called for his fiddlers three
The moon shone on the cabin door
The fiddlers had a fit
Old King Cole fell down the hole
And got all covered in...

Brown, brown, dirty old brown!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Cluin
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:51 PM

In the shade of the old apple tree
Was where she first showed it to me
It was pretty with brown
curly hair all around
It looked like a bird's nest to me
So I pulled out my Pride of New York
It fitted her just like a cork
She giggled, "Tee hee,
Take it out while I pee
In the shade of the old apple tree


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 08:06 PM

Are you going to Scarborough Fair
No

Greensleeves
I met my love in the grocery store
selling pickled onions by the score
Green stamps was all I took
And I put them all in my green stamps book

Rock Island Line

and on that train, he had cows pigs and horses
he kangaroos and wombats
and extinct animals too
he had hairy mamoths, stegasauruses
and sabre tooth tigers
pteradactyls,......
okay I made that up.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Severn
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 10:41 PM

A few odd 40% Brain Flakes from off the top of my head at various past occaisions.


Here's an idea of what Paul Simon's songs would've ended up sounding like had he been born a Mick:

(to "I Am A Rock")

I am O'Roarke
I am from I-i-i-i-ireland
And O'Roarke feels no pain
And an Irishman's ne-eh-ehver dry



And here's a couple of bits from "Paddy's Lamentation"/"By The Hush"
that got twisted around at Civil War re-enactment campfires


General Meagher to us said,
"If you're sick, but short of dead,
Our Physician's staff will give you
Prompt atte-en-shun."
Now where my arm was, there's a leg
And in my heart they've put a peg,
As any barbershop quartet
Will surely mention.

Or....

And to the women I do say
Don't go sell for Mary Kay
'Cause there'll be no making up
After the fighting.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Jacob B
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 12:49 AM

To the tune of "I dreamed I saw Joe Hill":

I dreamed I saw Sam Hall last night
Alive as you or me
'Why Sam', I said, 'You're ten years dead.'
'Goddam your eyes' said he.


Then there's the short version of Barrett's Privateers:

Oh the year was 1778
How I wish I was in Sherbrooke now
Barret was smashed like a bowl of eggs
And I just made Halifax yesterday
Goddam them all.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Bert
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 01:49 AM

I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker from Manchester way
I get all me pleasure the one handed way.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Micca
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 02:52 AM

Bert That actually should read

I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker from Manchester way
I get all me pleasure the solitary way.
I may bash my Bible on Sunday
But I bash my Bishop on Monday

and there is a lot more than 4 lines to it!!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: jonm
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 03:00 AM

Tom Pearce, Tom Pearce, lend me your grey mare:

No.


Extra verse for the Wild Rover:

I went to a convenience I used to frequent
And I told the attendant my penny was spent
I asked him for credit, he answered me nay
So I crossed my legs and I hobbled away...


From Richard Digance:
There are twelve million cyclists in Beijing,
That's a fact, that's a fact that no-one likes
'Cause there's three million cyclists without bikes.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Flash Company
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 10:10 AM

jonm... Had that as....

I went into a toilet that I used to frequent,
And told the attendant me penny was bent,
I asked him for credit, he said not a bit
You must go somewhere else if you want a free..........

Also, sung in exaggerated, hand behind the ear style:-

Oh where have you been all day, Lord Randall my son?
Oh where have you been all day, my darling one?

OUT

And finally

As I was crossing over the famed Kilgarry mountains,
I met with Captain Farrell and his money he was counting,
I first produced my pistol and then produced my rapier,
Saying 'Stand and deliver, I'm the gay deceiver, ducky!'
Mush a ring dum a doo dum a da and all that other folk singing crap.

FC


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: EBarnacle
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 10:48 AM

I like to sail where the tide it rises,
Daily with the moon's phase
So, Hurrah for the life of the sailor bold
As we go out on the windy bay.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Dead Horse
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 01:59 PM

This here's the story of the old 49
The fastest locomotive on the Santa Fe Line
She left Baltimore in a helluva dash
And she got there on time and she did not crash !


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Dead Horse
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 02:51 PM

Athenry...
Low lie the fields of wheat and rye
Where once we shot small birds up on high
We shot them as they flew, then we put them into a stew
Or else we ate them in a crusty pie


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: GUEST,Jimlad(guest)
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 03:57 PM

If I had The wings of a Swallow
And the dirty black arse of a Crow
I'd fly over the White House tomorrow
And crap on 'Dubya' Below'


And

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too cos' he's funny that way


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: GUEST,ken Brock
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 04:28 PM

Roy Zimmerman, while with the Foremen, came up with a new third verse for "Michael, Row the Boat Ashore". After the 1st verse ("Michael, Row...") and second verse ("Jordan River..."), the third verse is:

Michael Jordan is skinny and tall, allelulia (repeat)
Should have stuck to basketball, allelulia.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: GUEST,Ken Brock
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 04:37 PM

Below is a link to a thread I started at musicals.net about the 3 - line condensations called "The Readers Digest" by Betty Comdem and Adolph Green of famous works of literature, now extended into musicals by myself and others. I'm Marcellus on that forum:

http://www.musicals.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=54153&highlight=digest


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: MartinRyan
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 04:50 PM

"I have often heard it said that me father was me mother
- But what confuses me is that me sister's now me brother!
And it's oh dear me, how would it be
If I died masturbating in the garret!"

You may need to be Irish of a particular vintage to recognise the original!

Regards


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Cluin
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 05:25 PM

from frogprince:

How much is that doggy in the window,
With the basketball nose on his face?
You know what a basketball nose is,
It dribbles all over the place.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 09:50 AM

As I was a walking one morning in May
Nothing really happened
so back home I did stray.



The gallant frigate Araldite
Was stuck in Plymouth Dock



All around my hat I will wear the green willow
All around my hat for 12 months and a day.
And if anyone should ask me the reason I am wearing it.
Cos it's my bloody willow and my bloody hat!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 09:59 AM

"The gallant frigate Amphitrite
She sank in Plymouth Sound!"


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Splott Man
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 11:07 AM

The gallant frigate Anthracite
Ablaze in Plymouth Sound!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: GUEST,Terry McDonald
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 01:07 PM

I once heard a very short version of the ballad of Mary Hamilton -

It's not the done thing
To have it away with the King
Said Mary
As she dangled at the end of a string.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 4-Line Parodies
From: Don Firth
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 02:26 PM

Michael, quit messin' with that sail,
       Hallelujah.
Come down here and help me bail.
       Hallelujah.

Don Firth

P. S. Credit where credit is due (or is that "blame?"):   Jon Pfaff. I've known Jon off and on since the early 60s. As you can see by the content of the web page, he is occasionally given to that sort of thing. . . .


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