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BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...

alanabit 30 Apr 06 - 03:22 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 06 - 03:34 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 06 - 03:44 PM
Bunnahabhain 30 Apr 06 - 03:50 PM
Sorcha 30 Apr 06 - 03:50 PM
alanabit 30 Apr 06 - 03:54 PM
Amos 30 Apr 06 - 03:55 PM
Sorcha 30 Apr 06 - 03:59 PM
Uncle_DaveO 30 Apr 06 - 04:00 PM
wysiwyg 30 Apr 06 - 04:10 PM
Bunnahabhain 30 Apr 06 - 04:21 PM
autolycus 30 Apr 06 - 05:49 PM
Little Hawk 30 Apr 06 - 05:50 PM
Severn 30 Apr 06 - 06:00 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 06 - 06:02 PM
The Shambles 30 Apr 06 - 06:03 PM
autolycus 30 Apr 06 - 06:05 PM
Bill D 30 Apr 06 - 06:10 PM
Severn 30 Apr 06 - 06:12 PM
The Shambles 30 Apr 06 - 06:15 PM
The Shambles 30 Apr 06 - 06:19 PM
autolycus 30 Apr 06 - 06:19 PM
DMcG 30 Apr 06 - 06:20 PM
Severn 30 Apr 06 - 06:21 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 06 - 06:24 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 06 - 06:34 PM
GUEST,Wesley S 30 Apr 06 - 06:35 PM
David C. Carter 30 Apr 06 - 06:40 PM
autolycus 30 Apr 06 - 06:41 PM
Severn 30 Apr 06 - 06:49 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 06 - 06:56 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 06 - 07:09 PM
catspaw49 30 Apr 06 - 07:13 PM
Bill D 30 Apr 06 - 07:25 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 06 - 07:26 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 06 - 07:32 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 06 - 07:36 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 06 - 08:00 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 06 - 08:05 PM
wysiwyg 30 Apr 06 - 08:12 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 06 - 08:19 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 06 - 08:26 PM
Little Hawk 30 Apr 06 - 08:35 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 06 - 08:50 PM
Once Famous 30 Apr 06 - 08:55 PM
Once Famous 30 Apr 06 - 08:55 PM
Once Famous 30 Apr 06 - 08:56 PM
Once Famous 30 Apr 06 - 08:57 PM
Once Famous 30 Apr 06 - 08:58 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 06 - 08:59 PM
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Subject: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: alanabit
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:22 PM

Some years ago in England, the Guardian Newspaper ran a competition for the best made up quote. The things they never ever said. The winner was along the lines of,"I'm really, really sorry. Actually, I knew I was wrong all along..." (Margeret Thatcher).

Something along the lines of,"OK lads, I'll get the first round lads!" (Ayatollah Khomeni)
"I like to be in America." (Ossama bin Laden).
"Are you sure you don't want to go home to Mom tonight?" (Michael Jackson).
"Light a fire quick please, I'm freezing." (Joan of Arc).
Anyone else got some unlikely quotes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:34 PM

Are all of those Indians?? -- George Armstong Custer.

Okay, you win. -- Robert E. Lee.

Oh, come on -- the Pope's got a GREAT sense of humor! -- Martin Luther.

A dove. Right. Now tell Joseph to get his butt in here, 'cause him and me got something to discuss! -- Mary's father.

Sorry, Julius, I didn't know it was loaded. -- Brutus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:44 PM

Just a side salad for me - Elvis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:50 PM

The Shambles: The Editing Policy? Who could have a problem with it?

George Bush: Any sentence of Perfect English (or even American)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Sorcha
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:50 PM

My, how dry it is--Noah


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: alanabit
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:54 PM

"Sod off - you know I can't stand orphans!" Mother Teresa.
"It's a man's world." Germaine Greer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:55 PM

I just realized how terribly wrong I've been all my life.

Martin Gibson


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Sorcha
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:59 PM

AMOS! ROF!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 04:00 PM

Amos, that's a clear and direct example of highjacking a thread (at least incipiently). Cut it out!

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 04:10 PM

"Aw, fuck it."

-Jesus


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 04:21 PM

Next time Dad, you tell me the whole plan beforehand.

Jesus


I though better of posting it earlier, but....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: autolycus
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 05:49 PM

This country wil never invade another. The uk PM, the US Pres., the leader if Iran, Pakistan,Israel, Serbia, Germany, France,Lichtenstein, Congo, Uganda, Australia, Russia, Switzerland,            and especially Andorra.


   Ivor


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 05:50 PM

LOL! Great line, Susan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Severn
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:00 PM

"LOL"-Buster Keaton


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:02 PM

Hey, you can really see a long way from up here! -- Jesus

Nah, I'll just give him a good scare. -- John Wilkes Booth

Oh, hell! Just reach in and pull that alarm clock out, like this. -- Captain Hook.

Aw, just beat the hell out of them.... -- Ghandi.

Maybe I was wrong. -- Adolf Hitler.

That's the English: no sense of humor. -- Ben Franklin.

What the hell is all that LAND doing there?? -- Christopher Columbus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: The Shambles
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:03 PM

Missed

JFK


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: autolycus
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:05 PM

LOL,Shambles


   Ivor


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:10 PM

"Our nuclear proliferation policy is redolent with erudite obfuscation"

          G.W. Bush


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Severn
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:12 PM

"Was it good for you too, Mary?"-God

"Is it in yet?"-Mary

"We pride ourselves on our taste in friends"-The Donner Party

"I can't stand that Martin Gibson feller!"-Will Rogers


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: The Shambles
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:15 PM

I resign

John Prescott
Charles Clark


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: The Shambles
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:19 PM

Your point has been made with devastating clarity, Roger.

No one but Little Hawk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: autolycus
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:19 PM

Thank you everyone for coming to my 32nd birthday -- Schubert.


   Ivor


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: DMcG
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:20 PM

E2=m2c4 ... that's it!

Einstein


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Sung...
From: Severn
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:21 PM

"My kind of friend, Iago is...."-Othello


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:24 PM

"We are an equal opportunity employer." - The Ku Klux Klan


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:34 PM

"Hell, we can maximize profits by moving the whole operation to Mexico." - Karl Marx


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: GUEST,Wesley S
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:35 PM

I was reading this book the other day....
George W Bush

You really nailed that one -
Jesus Christ

Oh Good ! Another censorship thread -
Joe Offer

It really touched my heart -
Clinton Hammond

I'm sure if we just leave them alone they'll get along just fine-
God - and Max


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: David C. Carter
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:40 PM

Head barman on the Titanic:

"Do you want ice with that?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: autolycus
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:41 PM

The following are the conditions that would have to exist before we would happily give you a decent pay-rise.

                               most employers.



    Ivor


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Severn
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:49 PM

"Oui, je suis Brew-tay!"-Brutus

"Honey, I'm home from my trip!"-Lord Franklin

"This machine maims Facists and gleefully watches them twitch!"-Woody Guthrie

"SAY IT IT OUT LOUD! I MIME AND I"M PROUD!"-Marcel Marceau


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:56 PM

Clunk Click every trip - Princess Diana


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 07:09 PM

"You want fries with that?" - Marie Antoinette


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: catspaw49
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 07:13 PM

I have contacted Max personally and he has a written copy of all 72,936 complaints I have made in the past seven years. I will no longer need to post them to the forum........Shambles

Oh Roger, please post more of those truly significant complaints of yours in that oh-so-readable syntax. There has to be at least a thousand more ways you can say the same thing and I am waiting in rapt anticipation for your next succinct and clearly penned tome. Please start it on a new thread as we have only forty-two Shamblecentric threads on the current thread list......and throw in some of those wonderfully pointed and totally relevant quotes too! ......Spaw

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 07:25 PM

ooohh..Wesley!.......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 07:26 PM

"Heath, do these jeans make my butt look big?" - John Wayne


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 07:32 PM

"Nothing for me, thanks. I'm driving." - Ted Kennedy


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 07:36 PM

Ya know, Roy, I've always thought you have the most beautiful eyes. -- Gabby Hayes.

Oh, shut UP, would ya? Duncan's a friend of mine! -- Macbeth


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:00 PM

"'Now cocaine's for horses, and it ain't for men..they say it'll kill me but they don't say when..'" - Pablo Escobar


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:05 PM

I'm not your bloody secretary - Moses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:12 PM

"Hey guys, could you put me up for the night?"

-Jesus, upon his triumphal entry into Jerusalem


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:19 PM

"So then I thought, 'Hey, why not privatize the hospitals? That would solve all the problems and we wouldn't even need a revolution.'" - Che Guevara


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:26 PM

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright..." - Gene Autry, the Singing Cowboy


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:35 PM

"You and me against the world...sometimes it feels like you and me against the world" - George W. Bush to Tony Blair (or vice versa)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:50 PM

"...and I had to remind my lab assistant of Occam's Razor. He tried to explain the behavior in terms of positive and negative reinforcement psychobabble and I said, 'Ed, it's just two fuckin' pigeons playing ping pong.'" - B.F. Skinner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Once Famous
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:55 PM

"I just realized I have been wrong all of my life."

Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Once Famous
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:55 PM

"I just realized that I am a complete asshole."

Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Once Famous
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:56 PM

"I just realized that I haven't changed my shorts in a year."

Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Once Famous
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:57 PM

"I just realized that eating viagra straight will always give me a hard-on about what's good about America."

Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: Once Famous
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:58 PM

"I just realized that I haven't got the mental capacities to use a knife and fork properly."

Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:59 PM

"What the world needs now, is love, sweet love..it's the only thing that there's just too little of ..." - Ivan The Terrible


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