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BS: My new business idea.

Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull 17 Nov 05 - 09:01 PM
John O'L 17 Nov 05 - 09:13 PM
bobad 17 Nov 05 - 10:32 PM
Davetnova 18 Nov 05 - 05:39 AM
hilda fish 18 Nov 05 - 05:56 AM
Paco Rabanne 18 Nov 05 - 05:59 AM
Mr Red 18 Nov 05 - 09:29 AM
Donuel 18 Nov 05 - 10:44 AM
Bill D 18 Nov 05 - 11:10 AM
mg 18 Nov 05 - 11:21 AM
Janie 18 Nov 05 - 12:12 PM
GUEST,Martin 18 Nov 05 - 03:52 PM
Ebbie 18 Nov 05 - 06:15 PM
SINSULL 18 Nov 05 - 06:35 PM
Gurney 19 Nov 05 - 05:12 AM
bobad 19 Nov 05 - 11:11 AM
GUEST,.gargoyle 20 Nov 05 - 01:05 AM
Dead Horse 20 Nov 05 - 06:30 AM
Big Al Whittle 20 Nov 05 - 07:41 AM
Tannywheeler 20 Nov 05 - 10:50 AM
Kaleea 20 Nov 05 - 01:56 PM
GUEST,DB 20 Nov 05 - 05:12 PM
Big Al Whittle 20 Nov 05 - 05:25 PM
GUEST 11 Jan 06 - 08:24 PM
Fibula Mattock 12 Jan 06 - 11:08 AM
GUEST,Entrepreneur 12 Jan 06 - 12:22 PM
Dead Horse 12 Jan 06 - 07:52 PM
The Fooles Troupe 13 Jan 06 - 07:04 AM
Bunnahabhain 13 Jan 06 - 09:15 AM
Dead Horse 13 Jan 06 - 07:25 PM
Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull 01 Sep 06 - 11:31 AM
Paco Rabanne 01 Sep 06 - 11:41 AM
LadyJean 02 Sep 06 - 12:55 AM
Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull 07 Sep 06 - 07:17 AM
Morticia 07 Sep 06 - 08:58 AM
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Subject: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:01 PM

Heloo,
I goy an idea for a bisuines=

i make a hamster factory, Hull & East Yorks Hospitals, now got teaching status.
so my idea for bisuiness= breed hamsters for hospital to do research on, ie = do ex periments and that.

i ring then up, and sell hamsters to them, for experiments, and if they give me a good deal, i will sell them loads.


and for speshul offer, [if they give mre contract=],
i give them choice of colours.


and i think about this already=
some of my frend= is got there own businesss=
like skipacp8= [he got a lard shop, in barton],
and linda kelly is bank manager, etc
so i ask them for help and advive etc . avbout my new bisuness idea..




and if get bisy= i will give job to some immigrunts/asylum seekurs
[there is loads of them in hull],
just tell ythem to lokking agfter hamsters, ie feed them, play with tyhem etc.


and not haf to pay them mutch, [only about probly, 2 pounds an hour].

i have to majke a shed, and rinfg up hospital place buyer, to arrange contract etc, but i think is good idea.


anyway =my frend called el ted is head buyer for building firm, , so maybe he knoews about this?


anyway=i rung up hopsital place alreaady, and assk for hamster buying man , [supplies dept],
i think is thick woman anser phone, and not know waht i was on about,
i tell her again, but he still dident know.

[i i say="who is buy hamsters then?"
she says=Are you making a joke?"


Stupif woman!


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: John O'L
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:13 PM

Write them a letter, jOhn. Explain it all in writing. Surely then they'll understand.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: bobad
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 10:32 PM

Rats, sir jOhn, the future's in rats.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: Davetnova
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 05:39 AM

save money, simplify scheme, sell asylum seekers to hospital for medical research, no sheds, no hamster poo.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: hilda fish
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 05:56 AM

I'm with Davetnova on this one, "sell asylum seekers to hospital for medical research, no sheds, no hamster poo" and as well you make money, the asylum seekers have a place to stay, food to eat, and free medical advice. It cuts a good deal all around. Of course, on thinking about it, you could do it with small children instead of hamsters (what are they anyway, rats sort of?). Small children are everywhere, cheap to catch as you only need a bag of lollies, and I'm sure the hospital will pay well as small children are also such gorgeous little things. What do you think? xxx


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 05:59 AM

I will do the drawings, specifications and bills of quantities for you jOhn. Do you want a curry ship included in the site? You could sell off any spare hamsters as "meat curry" That nice Mr Inglis is looking for a job, he could run it for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: Mr Red
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 09:29 AM

what a load of hamster chewers you lot are...............


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 10:44 AM

I have another one regarding car safety. I have bean bag like attachments for behind the front seat and along the rear seat doors to provide a passive air bag like device for older vehicles without crash protection.
I actually stole this idea from my 5 year old son.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 11:10 AM

gee, that beats my idea of adding flavorings to Holy Water and freezing it and making Popesicles....


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: mg
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 11:21 AM

I think you will find that the research animal business is very regulated so you had better check that out. You have to know the genetic history etc. of the animals and of course they have to be free from parasites etc. Also they like to buy from standard places so they can say this strain of mice from this laboratory so others can replicate the experiments. Watctch for more regulations about raising animals because of the bird flu threat too. Well, good luck. mg


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: Janie
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 12:12 PM

What would Little Hawk have to say about this idea?

Janie


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: GUEST,Martin
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 03:52 PM

With this type of spelling and horrible business planning, please be prepared to go bankrupt immediately.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 06:15 PM

Not if we all kick in. A Dime a Week from each of us should do it. Good luck, jOhn.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 06:35 PM

Have you seen the new ad here in the states? It has hamsters in little cages used to run cars. Someone stole your idea, jOhn.

The hospitals will hurt yout little friends. Not good, I think.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: Gurney
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 05:12 AM

jOhn, forget about medical research. They pay peanuts. Just kill your hamsters humanely, boil them up with lots of sugar, and make hamster jam.
This will sell to gardeners, as it is the most effective fertiliser for Petunias known to mankind.



No, wait. That's wrong. You get Tulips from hamsterjam.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: bobad
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 11:11 AM

Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 01:05 AM

Sir jOhn_

As yu R all ready A ware...yu R a GenIesus.

Go to http://www.nap.edu/books/0309088941/html/37.html

They with yur help wil help make Hull the Hampster Captitol of the world. How easy it will be when folks say, "Ah Ha....I have a little experiment in mind" and their minds will race to Hull for supply.

I agree with you...canaries should be buried....there ARE bird/dog/horse/swine that can give humans a very nasty jolt of the jolly's. Nothing has ever been connected to our friend the hamster.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Be wary of folks requesting "duct-tape" in the same order.z

How can you tell a hanster from a rat?


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: Dead Horse
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 06:30 AM

Dear jOhn,
When you colour your hamsters use vegetable dye, as the other kind will affect lab results. I know that technology is slow to reach you northern folks so as another warning try drying your dyed hamsters in a tumble dryer which is like a washing machine but without the water. DO NOT USE GRANNIES OLD WRINGER !!!
As for the colour - The future is Orange! Need I say more?


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Subject: RE: BS: My new bisiness idea.
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 07:41 AM

Christ alive jOhn , you have already got people ready to demonstrate outside your hamster factory....!

You should be working for the conservative party - a news story about Blair coming round to you factory to torture a few hamsters would be the dead cert for the daily mail front page. well in line with IQ level of the average mail reader.

you are a genius, when the world has learned to harness that imagination.....watch out everybody!


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 10:50 AM

jOhn, I notice that Mr. Blair may have some difficulty regarding his current employment soon. Might he be available for a consultant's position with your business? (We pronounce it "bidniss" here.) This might be good PR for the company. Might help you get the early investment capital which could make the difference between success and failure. Will 'Catters get to invest? What sort of return can we expect....                Tw


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: Kaleea
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 01:56 PM

Got any green hamsters?


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: GUEST,DB
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 05:12 PM

Perhaps a more humane use for hamsters would be to race them in hospitals and get patients to bet on them. This gets round any health and safety regulations and the need for 'genetic purity'.
You could still colour them , though, so the punter patients (patient punters?) could identify the rodents that they have betted on.
Hopefully, this idea will not get any further than Hull!


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 05:25 PM

I think we're entering the realms of fantasy here....


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 08:24 PM

feresh


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 11:08 AM

I would like a hamster. I'm thinking of getting one for my 30th birthday. It's about time I had some level of responsibility in my life. I will call it Mina (it will be a girl hamster) and I will get one of those balls to put it in so it can spin round the floors for exercise without getting lost behind the skirting boards or eating the cables.

So, are hamsters nice and easy to care for then? jOhn, maybe you should set up some kind of hamster advice phone line and charge premium rates, and people can call for hamster care advice.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: GUEST,Entrepreneur
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 12:22 PM

How many hamsters would you like to buy from me to start your business John?


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: Dead Horse
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 07:52 PM

How the hell can you say that racing hamsters is more humane????
The jockeys would flatten the poor buggers!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 07:04 AM

Not if you use specially trained mice.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 09:15 AM

Well, if you put one mouse under each foot, you might just get the hamster on top....


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: Dead Horse
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 07:25 PM

You're just being silly now, aren't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 11:31 AM

Well, it was only an idea.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 11:41 AM

A welcome return to His Highness the king of Hull, Colin Ing.... sorry, I meant Sir jOhn.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: LadyJean
Date: 02 Sep 06 - 12:55 AM

Some of you may know a musician named Cliff Laufer. He had a plot whereby he would obtain some Wooly Mammoth DNA then combine that with guinea pigs. Then he would sell mammoth sized guinea pigs for food and fur, and raise guinea pig sized mammoths as pets. I'm fairly sure he wasn't serious about this. At least I hope he wasn't.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 07:17 AM

anyway= they make a programme on telly, were people wiv good ideas go to them, and explain it to them, and if they like your idea, they give you money to start, and help you etc.

its called Dragons Den, i will write to them.


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Subject: RE: BS: My new business idea.
From: Morticia
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 08:58 AM

Good Idea, jOhn......I know I'd watch it if you were on.


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