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BS: Headlines we would like to see

Donuel 22 Nov 05 - 09:46 AM
Donuel 22 Nov 05 - 08:53 AM
Cluin 22 Nov 05 - 02:39 AM
Kaleea 21 Nov 05 - 08:44 PM
Deckman 21 Nov 05 - 07:27 PM
The Walrus 21 Nov 05 - 06:10 PM
Donuel 21 Nov 05 - 04:50 PM
kendall 21 Nov 05 - 07:36 AM
Mr Fox 21 Nov 05 - 07:28 AM
Seiri Omaar 20 Nov 05 - 11:26 PM
GUEST,Premier Kissov 20 Nov 05 - 11:00 PM
Deda 20 Nov 05 - 07:40 PM
kendall 20 Nov 05 - 04:39 PM
Ron Davies 20 Nov 05 - 08:42 AM
HuwG 20 Nov 05 - 05:47 AM
Amos 19 Nov 05 - 08:34 PM
Georgiansilver 19 Nov 05 - 04:59 PM
Little Hawk 19 Nov 05 - 03:44 PM
kendall 19 Nov 05 - 03:04 PM
Georgiansilver 19 Nov 05 - 06:10 AM
Cluin 19 Nov 05 - 04:50 AM
bobad 18 Nov 05 - 07:24 PM
Doug Chadwick 18 Nov 05 - 07:11 PM
Cluin 18 Nov 05 - 06:59 PM
goodbar 18 Nov 05 - 06:48 PM
GUEST,rarelamb 18 Nov 05 - 06:16 PM
GUEST 18 Nov 05 - 10:54 AM
Donuel 18 Nov 05 - 10:34 AM
Donuel 18 Nov 05 - 10:08 AM
Mr Red 18 Nov 05 - 09:51 AM
kendall 18 Nov 05 - 09:49 AM
Gervase 18 Nov 05 - 08:06 AM
Cluin 18 Nov 05 - 07:04 AM
Little Hawk 18 Nov 05 - 12:11 AM
JennyO 17 Nov 05 - 09:45 PM
Peace 17 Nov 05 - 09:44 PM
Peace 17 Nov 05 - 09:40 PM
Deckman 17 Nov 05 - 09:37 PM
Sandra in Sydney 17 Nov 05 - 09:21 PM
SINSULL 17 Nov 05 - 08:49 PM
GUEST,Deda 17 Nov 05 - 08:42 PM
nosluap57 17 Nov 05 - 08:21 PM
Ebbie 17 Nov 05 - 07:15 PM
TheBigPinkLad 17 Nov 05 - 02:59 PM
Peace 17 Nov 05 - 02:57 PM
Don Firth 17 Nov 05 - 02:44 PM
Donuel 17 Nov 05 - 02:09 PM
Amos 17 Nov 05 - 08:27 AM
JennyO 17 Nov 05 - 08:14 AM
GUEST,BazT 17 Nov 05 - 04:05 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 09:46 AM

Prison Reform Passes

With Tom Delay, Abramson, Scanlon, Libby and a host of others from the Bush administration serving time in federal prisons the Prison Reform Bill before Congress passed by a narrow margin today.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 08:53 AM

Republican Plan to Bankrupt Amtrak Stalled

The plan was to bankrupt Amtrak by stopping all federal subsidies and then selling the tracks seperately from the railroad that was to be split in three parts and privately sold was stalled when Congress caught wind of the debacle due to the resignation of an Amtrak official.^


^ This story is true.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 02:39 AM

I didn't read Peaxe's posts as putdowns, Deckman. He just wanted you to think bigger. So he gave you a record catch.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Kaleea
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 08:44 PM

"Saturn explorers, finding no intelligent human life on Earth, give planet back to all life forms not human."
   --The Interplanetary Journal


dateline: Earth, 2525
"North American Bison and Humpback Whales reach trade aggreement with United Interplanetary Alliance."

"All governments agree to strict no fossil fuels laws."

   "Entire planet Earth now pollution free!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Deckman
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 07:27 PM

To "Peace,"

On November 17th, I posted that I would like to read a newspaper headline saying that I caught a "27 pound steelhead."

You posted the next two threads, quickly after. Both of your posts seem to be "put-down!" What gives here? Bob(deckman)Nelson


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: The Walrus
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 06:10 PM

"POLITICIAN TELLS TRUTH! - Political system collapses"


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 04:50 PM

Katrina Cleaned UP At Last

With New Orleans better than ever with a class 5 levee system built by Canada and the last Katrina victims back in their homes, only one storm victim's home was failed to be rebuilt...Trent Lott's Estate.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: kendall
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 07:36 AM

Mr. Fox, that one takes the cake!


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Mr Fox
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 07:28 AM

BLAIR - BUSH IN SUICIDE PACT.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Seiri Omaar
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 11:26 PM

DUBYA CONVICTED FOR WAR CRIMES

DUBYA CONVERTS TO ISLAM; POLICE SUSPECT FOUL PLAY

THE GOVT ACTUALLY IS GIVING MONEY TO SOCIAL PROGRAMS- REALLY!

AMOS: FRENCH-KISSED BY THE DEVIL

Cheers and happy days, Seiri.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: GUEST,Premier Kissov
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 11:00 PM

MAN FARTS HIMSELF TO DEATH IN OHIO!
3 STATES EVACUATED!!!

(guess who...)


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Deda
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 07:40 PM

Technical breakthroughs reverse global warming, restore ozone layer, wilderness & wetlands! Astonishing medical breakthrough proven to end human greed - Corporate CEOs world-wide cut their own salaries and bonuses, set up massive charities, promise end to poverty & starvation.

"I dreamed I saw a mighty room, the room was filled with men,
And the papers they were signing said, they'd never fight again..."


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: kendall
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 04:39 PM

Steven Seagal badly beaten by his ex wife.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Ron Davies
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 08:42 AM

"Bush Thanks UN For His 2004 Election Win"


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: HuwG
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 05:47 AM

From the "Guardian":

"Night Poof Readers dismissed for incompetence".


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 08:34 PM

LH, that is perhaps the scariest headline I have seen.

Like being French-kissed by the Devil or something... :D Just trying to worry me, aren'tcha?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 04:59 PM

Shatner retiring from UK cereal advertisements.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 03:44 PM

AMOS & LITTLE HAWK KICK HABIT! "No More Posting on Mudcat", THEY SWEAR!!!

AMOS TO BE PRESENTED WITH MEDAL OF HONOR BY GEORGE BUSH!
"I love this guy. He's a great American," SAYS SMILING PREZ


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: kendall
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 03:04 PM

Substitute for oil found, Exxon/Mobil in bankruptcy.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 06:10 AM

Bush and Blair...First untrained astronauts in Space feared lost!


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Cluin
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 04:50 AM

Cold Fusion Perfected: It's Cheap, Easy and Portable.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: bobad
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 07:24 PM

PEACE BREAKS OUT IN THE MIDDLE EAST!


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 07:11 PM

Doug Chadwick is lottery rollover jackpot winner


DC


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Cluin
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 06:59 PM

Don't hold back, man. Say what you really mean.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: goodbar
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 06:48 PM

Ebbie,

everything. she's uses her fatness and blackness to exploit middle-aged ladies and makes the world thinks she cares about aids and crap. i want to pummel her with flower bombs before i drown her in her own urine.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: GUEST,rarelamb
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 06:16 PM

42


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 10:54 AM

"Steak & Blowjob" Night to be proclaimed Official Holidays

Lots for the latter around here, but who will cook the steak.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 10:34 AM

Rapture Threat Level Red

With the recent disappearence of Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and Billy Graham the Rapture threat level has been raised from orange to red. Since the discovery of the missing first page of the Bible the chaos among the ranks of evangelists has been fever pitched. Now coupled with the vanishing of key religious leaders some preachers are proclaiming that all hell is breaking loose.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 10:08 AM

Some of these are so damn good I am going to have to illustrate them!

Behind the scenes:
I sent a pm to Amos telling him I would like to assemble a group of GENIUS' for an editorial cartoon insurgency project.
I asked him if he knew any.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Mr Red
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 09:51 AM

SiR jOh9n from HuLL buys new keyboard


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: kendall
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 09:49 AM

Democrats regain the House, the Senate and the White House.

Supreme Court justices all replaced by liberals.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Gervase
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 08:06 AM

"Jesus' bones found in grave in Palestine"
"Ian Paisley pleads guilty to fraud charges"
"Blair resigns, saying 'I'm sorry'"
"Fawlty Towers to return in new series"
"Daily Mail to cease publishing"

ah well, one can dream...


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Cluin
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 07:04 AM

"Talk Like a Pirate" Day and "Steak & Blowjob" Night to be proclaimed Official Holidays.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 12:11 AM

OPRAH MORE POPULAR THAN GOODBAR!!!

(snicker)

MARTIN GIBSON APOLOGIZES TO E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y!!! PROMISES TO BE NICE FROM NOW ON

ALL STRIDENT, ANGRY SPECIAL INTEREST GROUPS DISBAND! - DECIDE TO BECOME LIKE JESUS AND LOOK IN THEIR OWN EYE FIRST (FOR THE BEAM)!

PAT ROBERTSON CONVERTS TO ISLAM!

CHINA INVADES MARS! - BAD TRANSLATION OF RAND McNALLY MAP of PACIFIC NORTHWEST APPARENTLY TO BLAME FOR SNAFU

You know, I think we all ought seriously to think of applying for jobs at the Weekly World News. I wonder how Osama's goat and BatBoy are doing?


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: JennyO
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:45 PM

JENNYO SINGS UP A STORM AT HER 105TH BIRTHDAY SESSION!


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Peace
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:44 PM

BOB, THE DECKMAN, CAUGHT A 43 POUND ONCORHYNCHUS MYKISS TODAY!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Peace
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:40 PM

That wouldn't be a record. Just make you a laughing stock, Bob.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Deckman
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:37 PM

BOB, THE DECKMAN, CAUGHT A 27 POUND STEELHEAD TODAY!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:21 PM

Top Model Agencies Close - Plus Size Models on All Magazine Covers & Catwalks.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 08:49 PM

Folk Music Makes A Comeback!

    Art Thieme et al reap the financial benefits BIG time!


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: GUEST,Deda
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 08:42 PM

Worldwide Peace Breaks Out!! All known Religions planet-wide suddenly disappear. True meaning of "rapture"? Film at 11.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: nosluap57
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 08:21 PM

McCain defeats Clinton


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 07:15 PM

goodbar, what do you have against Oprah? Seriously.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 02:59 PM

FIRST EDITION GUTTENBERG BIBLE FOUND

Includes page missing from all later versions: "All characters and events depicted in this book are ficticious. Any resemblances to real persons living or dead are purly coincidental."


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Peace
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 02:57 PM

"bush found to be infested with crabs"

Better him than me.


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Don Firth
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 02:44 PM

Supreme Court Rules All Alternatives Must Be Taught.

Today the Supreme Court ruled that if the Kansas School Board insists on teaching "Intelligent Design" as an alternative to the Theory of Evolution, then all possible alternative creation myths must also be taught, including those of Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, all African myths, all those of Native American tribes, Druidism, Wicca, Animism, and Scientology. Chief Justice Brown, in rendering the opinion of the Court said, "I don't like it, but fair is fair!"
A woman asserts that the earth is indeed flat and rests on the backs of four giant turtles. When a college student raises her hand and starts to ask, "Okay, what do the four turtles rest on?" the woman interrupts her and says, "It's no good, young lady! It's turtles all the way down!!"
Don Firth


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 02:09 PM

DARPA... loved it Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 08:27 AM

DARPA Invents Peace Spray; White House Promises to Peace on Enemies Henceforth


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: JennyO
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 08:14 AM

"John Howard says 'Sorry' to the Stolen Generation"


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Subject: RE: BS: Headlines we would like to see
From: GUEST,BazT
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 04:05 AM

"Everyone Realises That Since All Major Religions Share Many Of The Same Historical Origins, They Must Be Closely Related To Each Other, And That The Differences Between Them Are Not The Work Of The Prophets, But Due To Fairly Modern Followers Who Have Perhaps Unintentially (And Quite Natuarally) Evolved The Message Of God In Different Ways To Reflect Their Politcal, Geographical And Historical Situation - Pointless Fighting About Which One Of Them Is "Right" Stops. World Becomes Better Place."


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