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What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.

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Banjeray 12 Jan 99 - 07:47 PM
Art Thieme 12 Jan 99 - 09:48 PM
Mo 12 Jan 99 - 10:15 PM
alison 12 Jan 99 - 10:56 PM
Craig 12 Jan 99 - 11:02 PM
gargoyle 12 Jan 99 - 11:18 PM
12 Jan 99 - 11:28 PM
Barbara 13 Jan 99 - 12:53 AM
katlaughing 13 Jan 99 - 01:56 AM
Peter T. 13 Jan 99 - 01:53 PM
MoMo 13 Jan 99 - 08:48 PM
Bill DBill D 13 Jan 99 - 08:52 PM
McMusicMcMusic 13 Jan 99 - 11:17 PM
Duane D.Duane D. 13 Jan 99 - 11:23 PM
BarbaraBarbara 13 Jan 99 - 11:43 PM
AnaAna 14 Jan 99 - 02:56 AM
AnaAna 14 Jan 99 - 03:23 AM
The ShamblesThe Shambles 14 Jan 99 - 03:44 AM
The SingularJoe Offer 14 Jan 99 - 03:18 PM
--seed 14 Jan 99 - 03:51 PM
Mo 14 Jan 99 - 05:19 PM
harpgirl 14 Jan 99 - 06:19 PM
Jack Hickman 14 Jan 99 - 08:02 PM
McMusic 14 Jan 99 - 10:03 PM
Joe Offer 14 Jan 99 - 10:11 PM
Don Meixner 14 Jan 99 - 11:51 PM
Bill D 15 Jan 99 - 12:10 AM
campfire 15 Jan 99 - 03:20 AM
bbc 15 Jan 99 - 08:56 AM
KingBrilliant 15 Jan 99 - 09:38 AM
Art Thieme 15 Jan 99 - 10:51 AM
Bill D 15 Jan 99 - 01:01 PM
Joe Offer 15 Jan 99 - 01:14 PM
Frank McGrath 15 Jan 99 - 10:29 PM
bbc 15 Jan 99 - 11:09 PM
Rosebrook 16 Jan 99 - 09:38 AM
Philippa 16 Jan 99 - 10:12 AM
Art Thieme 16 Jan 99 - 10:27 AM
Frank McGrath 16 Jan 99 - 11:40 AM
Barbara 16 Jan 99 - 12:32 PM
Big Mick 16 Jan 99 - 12:58 PM
Art Thieme 16 Jan 99 - 02:54 PM
Peter T. 16 Jan 99 - 03:24 PM
Duane D. 16 Jan 99 - 04:17 PM
Barry Finn 16 Jan 99 - 04:51 PM
catspaw49 16 Jan 99 - 05:15 PM
Jack Hickman 16 Jan 99 - 07:48 PM
Frank McGrath 16 Jan 99 - 08:27 PM
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Alan of Australia 16 Jan 99 - 09:08 PM
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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Banjeray
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 07:47 PM

Wow!!! Leave for a few days and see what I missed...It appears most all the puns have been spun, so not much left to say except good to see that we can still have fun occassionaly. I'm with the side that says open expression and discussion of whatever the subject, toothpaste, condoms, Aunt Mables home recipes, or anything is healthy. It helps bind whatever community one considers themself a part of.


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Art Thieme
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 09:48 PM

When I was a kid we'd fill a condom with water (not to wash out a used one) and they'd expand and expand and expand and expand until the whole sink was filled with the totally unwieldy HUGE mass of water! It took four of us to grapple with it and get it to the edge of the roof of the 15 story building where I grew up in Chicago. We'd wait intil the guy we wanted to "get" was standing and waiting for the Sheridan Road 151 CTA bus and then we'd let the thing go!! When it did hit the ground (or the guy or whatever) it soaked everything from there to Lake Michigan.

Ah, nostagia!

So which are the best brand for this wonderful passtime?

Art


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Mo
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 10:15 PM

Well, I can't say I've tried it with condoms - but when I was a student several of the guys in my Halls of Residence discovered the joys of filling a plastic supermarket carrier bag full of water and dropping out of the fifth floor window.... it exploded right outside mine, and I thought a bomb had gone off! Put me right off me D H Lawrence I can tell you.....

Mind you, if I was going to do this with a condom, it seems likely that the extra-strong nuthin's-gettin'-through-this-sucker variety would be a better candidate. it doesn't seem the time for the "extra-sensitive" type! I wonder if you can do it with a femidom? Don't think they're as stretchy though... Do you have them stateside? Mo


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: alison
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 10:56 PM

Thanks to Max and his mention of Trojan ...... I can now have a better go at trying to understand the lyrics of "Little Red Corvette."

I don't think Femidons are stretchy. (It's been a long time since I've had to "demonstrate" them to a patient...)

But latex gloves make good water bombs!!

Slainte

alison


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Craig
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 11:02 PM

I might as well fess up. I work for a company called APPLIED MEMBRANES. We do testing in our store rooms.

Would this face ;^} lie to you?

Craig


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: gargoyle
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 11:18 PM

Despite my love of, dead cat, and gutteral-pig-sound-songs...(or perhaps because of my love of the same) and considering myself somewhat of a "prude" this thread was entered with hesitation and trepidation. However, the nobelist intents to keep the thread's course within the bounds of the "Mudcat Mission" and the "Thread Topic" have elicited the some vocal bursts of hilarity (as a very somber person)that I have sledom experienced in many years of "netting." There are some "classics" here...but Kirs "this may throw up new veiw points" expresses it well.

It is with regret that I morn the, hopfully, transitory/momentary, departure of my dearest, most honorable, gracious, kind and benevolent Mr. B.Seed since this is precisely the type of thread he would have relished.

In the interest of a lyrical tradition:

An old man using a condom
Found he could never get a good bone.
But with a rubber band
It grew simply grand
Now his wife cannot leave it alone.


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From:
Date: 12 Jan 99 - 11:28 PM

Condoms? Don't need 'em. I'm a musician. I got rhythm!


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Barbara
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 12:53 AM

It is my qualified opinion that whatever brand of condom your dad keeps in his sock drawer is the best kind to drop off the fourth floor fire escape on the kid from the other clique. Proximity to concrete and or rosebushes helps immensely.
Blessings,
Barbara, whose first exposure to a condom was when a water filled one came bouncing merrily down the chapel steps as I was ascending on my way to choir practice (10th grade).


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 01:56 AM

Tina:

I was wondering if anyone was going to mention dental dams!

katlaughing


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Peter T.
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 01:53 PM

It is worth pointing out that this thread has probably the fastest rising contribution rate in the history of the Mudcat. 60 since the 11 of Jan is a record I think. There are others that are larger (over the 100 mark, but they came slower). The Princess Diana thread was pretty fast, but I don't think it competes. I think that is enough social science pornography for one paragraph.

Yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: MoMo
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 08:48 PM

Well, yeah, in an ideal world, any mention of condoms WILL elicit a "fast-rising response".....!!!

Mo


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Bill DBill D
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 08:52 PM

It does make me think twice about starting a tongue-in-cheek thread!

One of the reasons I hang out with folkies, and why I majored in Philosophy, is that both groups tend to be interested in and knowlegable about, anything & everything! Folk music, however you view it, does tend to be about what 'folk' do everyday, and thus we have songs about dead cats, baling hay, sailing ships, and...yes...condoms. And it is a fact that the 'saltier' topics and songs have always gotten a lot of attention...jokes and songs are a LOT easier way to approach such topics than are moral diatribes and dry scholarship!


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: McMusicMcMusic
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 11:17 PM

I use a pre-1880's sewage drain pipe. Not too snug, but it's a devil to handle. But it's all I could find!


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Duane D.Duane D.
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 11:23 PM

Let's keep this thread running perpetually for all the new folks who keep coming along.


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: BarbaraBarbara
Date: 13 Jan 99 - 11:43 PM

Just poke a little hole in the end with a pin, hey Duane, and the thread will keep propagating?


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: AnaAna
Date: 14 Jan 99 - 02:56 AM

NZ has a troupe of female entertainers(singers/actors) called "hens teeth". One of their cocktail pieces is a cooking demonstration (versatile as they are!) The ingredients of course are mixed in the intimate arena of the stage - flour,sugar,baking powder,milk and currants. The icky substance is then carefully inserted into ....a condom, and popped into the onstage microwave. The substance then,somewhat deliciously and magically grows (and whooee! grows) into that well known and much loved English Pudding "spotted dick". It is then of course passed amongst the audience so all can have a wee nibble. Sorry-dont know what brand th


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: AnaAna
Date: 14 Jan 99 - 03:23 AM

howdidthathappenhappenappenppenpenennnnnnn


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: The ShamblesThe Shambles
Date: 14 Jan 99 - 03:44 AM

Ana Ana

Max Max is is going going to to fix it fix it.

But I do like the look of Mo Mo though. yyyyyeeeesssss!


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: The SingularJoe Offer
Date: 14 Jan 99 - 03:18 PM

Say, AnaAna, I suppose you were asking about the doubling of your name, but I'm wondering how the end of your message got cut off. Most of us don't have any trouble with that - the only one it sees to happen to is Dick Greenhaus. I thought it was his accent, or something...
-Joe, who ponders technical things-


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: --seed
Date: 14 Jan 99 - 03:51 PM

Gargoyle: So sorry to have to give you the news. I'm not deceased, but my monitor is diseased (note spelling) and I can't use my computer at home until it is cured, so I haven't been able to visit much lately, and mostly I've been using my minimal time online lurking. Anyway, the rumors of my passing have been somewhat exaggerated. --sees


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Mo
Date: 14 Jan 99 - 05:19 PM

MoMo - is now a no no it seems - however - the lyrics may have gone, but the melody carries on.... ohhhhh yesssss..... Ahhhhhhhh.....! Mo


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: harpgirl
Date: 14 Jan 99 - 06:19 PM

Very encouraged to hear so many Mudcatters use condoms. Remember saran wrap works in case of emergency. Keep it up!!!! (grin) harpgirl


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Jack Hickman
Date: 14 Jan 99 - 08:02 PM

It seems that MudCat is a fount of all knowledge, so lI have a serious question. What the hell is a dental dam? I like to think I am fairly worldly, and have had a reasonable amount of experience in things sexual, but how did teeth enter into this subject.

If the answer is too sensitive, let me know in this thread and I will give you my e-mail address.

Jack


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: McMusic
Date: 14 Jan 99 - 10:03 PM

Takes a whole lot of saran wrap to fit around a drain pipe.


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Joe Offer
Date: 14 Jan 99 - 10:11 PM

Click here, and you shall know, Jack. Apparently Monica didn't. Neither did I. Click here for a wider selection.
Well, I thought I understood from the two previous sites, but I guess I didn't. Click here for the whole story. I guess we really should know about such things.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Don Meixner
Date: 14 Jan 99 - 11:51 PM

Back in my boatyard days I had a friend who work in the Merchant Marine during the second world war. He survived being torpedoed during one passage and was a veteran of the Murmansk run. He used to tell a story of off-loading a crate of condoms at Murmansk for the Russian Red Cross.( or some variation there of) Before the crate was swung out of the hold the Cargo chief had a deckape stencil "Small Only" on the crate. Jack said in a very short time the instances of Russian women dating American Navy and Merchant sailors increased greatly.

Don Meixner


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Jan 99 - 12:10 AM

lordy..thought I'd seen it all when I worked in an adult bookstore and had to sell edible underwear!...but DENTAL DAMS??

I have a 6mil sheet of polypropalene sheeting...10' by 20' feet, guess I'm set for life!


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: campfire
Date: 15 Jan 99 - 03:20 AM

I guess I'm way behind....I thought a dental dam was what the dentist put over the rest of my teeth when I had a root canal done. Honest!

And, Joe, is this also where you find that occasional experience that is better than singing? ;-)


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: bbc
Date: 15 Jan 99 - 08:56 AM

To Joe: My sense of wonderment grows! Want information--click on Joe's links! Brings to mind a new subheading for the site: "The Mudcat--it ain't just music!" I worked for a dentist in the past & I thought I knew what a dental dam was. Silly me!

bbc


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 15 Jan 99 - 09:38 AM

Those dental dam links are a real education. I didn't know such things existed!!! It just seems a bit like wrapping it in clingfilm. And once its shrink-wrapped do you have to put a sell-by date on it?

Kris


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Art Thieme
Date: 15 Jan 99 - 10:51 AM

I am truly amazed at what I started here.

Like Richard Nixon said: I'll take all of the credit, and none of the blame!

Art


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Jan 99 - 01:01 PM

yep..Art..I had half a notion to start a tongue-in-cheek thread about "favotite Druid Madrigals" but I expect that this bunch would expound for 100 posts about why there are none and what the nearest equivilent is...


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Joe Offer
Date: 15 Jan 99 - 01:14 PM

I'll betcha most of us didn't know what a dental dam is - but I'll bet our kids know. Get yerself on that there Internet, old codger - it's the only way you'll be able to understand your kids.
My kids are in their twenties now, and I do ask them about some stuff I don't understand. They seem quite pleased to be able to help out their old man. But I'm not going to ask them about THAT.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: Lyr Add: FIRST JOHNNY (Frank McGrath)
From: Frank McGrath
Date: 15 Jan 99 - 10:29 PM

Art - You will have to answer to a vengeful and bitter God for starting this thread.

I tried, manfully, to resist the temptations of the "Condom" thread - but failed. To say that condoms are close to my heart is incorrect both in the physical and emotional sense but they have had a very memorable and traumatic effect on my life.

You see, contraceptives were illegal in Ireland for many years and it was only in the first flush of my manhood that condoms became available - but only through a chemist shop. That's not very long ago either, eighteen years ago or thereabouts. So there was childish embarrassment about the purchase of these novel devices when they came on the market. There was also misunderstanding about there use - (many jokes about people chewing them to prevent pregnancy).

Thankfully, I never had to use the much because in my pre-marriage days - AIDs were things to assist old people walk. Unfortunately (fortunately) I did have to use them for a while.
I don't know about modern packaging but I can swear that condoms used to be argon welded into metal containers. Those metal foil packages were bastards to open even in the broad light of day in serene sense of mind. But try opening one in the back seat of a car in complete darkness with your blood lust rising to an unmanageable peak and maintain some semblance of romance - forget it!. So I was moved to songwriting to try and purge those terrible memories from my soul.

Assuming some daft git should want to sing this song - I use the air of the "Pool Song" (Jimmy Crowley version). But those without any respect for great songs have chosen the air to "Barr na Sraide" which is very similar and has the correct mournful "sean nos" feeling. Others prefer to use the air to "Sullivans John" which is faster and you can clip through this long dirge at a pace more acceptable to modern attention spans.
Anyway, I purge my soul one more time - and damn the Mudcat for reminding me.

So here is my revenge.

A song of love, lust, misfortune and
complex poly-hydrocarbon materials.

The Nenagh Singers Circle presents a song by Frank McGrath.
This song is semi-autobiographical. Unlike the character in the song, Frank McGrath survived (unfortunately) to tell this tragic tale. Wise old sayings tell us that truth is stranger that fiction and much more brutal. There is no doubt that Frank McGrath is both very strange and brutal, so his story must be truthful. But we know that it isn't, so therefore, wise old sayings must be a pile of shite. Which aptly describes this song.

First Johnny

Oh, I am oft times told, great stories old,
Of heroes long since gone.
And many a tale of sword and sail
And maidens quite undone.
But History has yet to record and set
The deed of daring done
And to expand on that act confound
How our man put his first johnny on.

Oh this battle great which I now relate
Begins in a Chemist Shop.
Our valiant Knight, his fists clenched tight,
'Waits hustle and bustle to stop.
When the coast is clear and no customers there,
He makes his gallant charge.
To the Alchemist said, with his face all red.
"A packet of 'dem yokes' please; ...size large!".

With his booty in store, makes for the door
With a plain paper wrapper discreet.
Back to his abode, he secrets his fine load.
Save his mammy and them yokes should meet.
Reviewing his plan, our heroic young man
His heart filled with victorious pride.
"Well aren't I cute, for securing the loot.
Shure all I need now is a ride".

To search for romance, our strong knight had no chance.
He excelled in uncommon bad looks.
So he brought his good steed with the greatest of speed
On a tour of the quay side and docks.
There he met a wan and a bargain was done
And they went back to her little home.
From her purse she took out a johnny most stout.
"Girl 'tis all right ... shure I brought me own".

Well our hero advanced with his great shining lance
To his lady, most eager to smote.
"Hold on there me buck, you'll not get your luck,
Save your little maneen wears his coat".
"I'm sorry my dear, your beauty's so rare
My mind with such passion did cloud.
Just hold on there a tick and I'll do me trick
This great charger in rubber we'll shroud".

Well into his pus the johnny packet was thrust
With a terrible tearing of teeth.
His gums got all gashed and his pallet was mashed.
Still no trace of the latex beneath.
'Tween clenched molar and jaw, and powerful gnarled paw
He gave it one last mighty heave.
When out suddenly shot, that condom much sought
Along with his two fine front teeth.

Not caring a toss, for his dual dental loss.
Expectation was numbing the pain.
And there at his feet, like a greasy old teat
Lay this object of sexual gain.
Blood streaming from face, downwards he did gaze
At a yoke not half an inch long.
His mind became fraught, with imperical doubt
"Shure that feckin thing won't fit on!".

With encouraging words, she explains johnnys works
To a student more eager than smart.
And without hesitation, but with much lubrication.
He put to protecting his part.
With the great speed of light, and all of his might
He rammed it right 'round his broad blade.
It flew off even faster, oh what a disaster.
Through his nostril, it entered his brain.

Not caring a damn, for his cerebellum
Shure 'twas only a minor mishap.
He procured a new packet, of smart rubber jacket,
And secured it beside his tooth gap.
'Tween clenched molar and jaw, and powerful gnarled paw
He gave it another good heave.
And to no ones surprise, there was dental demise.
And he lost two more fine healthy teeth.

Retrieving once more his condom from the floor
He took aim with the greatest precision.
He stretched the French Letter above his Red Setter
And launched up with a powerful incision.
His shot it was sure, with successful capture.
"Begob now I'm on the pigs back.!".
He let go with relief, which caused instant grief
It snapped tight round his soft tender sack.

With the frightening grip of a jubilee clip
The johnny cut off all circulation.
His members grew black from the root of his sack
And he viewed this with some consternation.
His parts to relieve, he bent down to retrieve
The condom with urgentful grasp.
It snapped off in the race and pulled over his face
And squeezing his throat with a gasp.

He fell to the floor, the girl ran to the door
Assistance she frantically sought.
To resolve the travail, a doctor she did hail
For her lover so tragically fraught.
With a very quick check, for a pulse in his neck,
The Doc made this mournful diagnosis.
"I hope you've been paid, cos my dear I'm afraid
Your friend has most severe rubber mortise".

Our man met his demise with great bulging eyes
And the coroner made his report.
"Mandibular traumatisation, facial laceration
And then shure the poor fucker choked.
Brain damaged by rubber, and oh yes your Honour,
If alive in great need of a denture".
The judge he was grave, as the verdict he gave
"Cause of death was by mis-condom-venture".

So come all you young boys, when your ladeen does rise
Take care of that condom most cursed.
Use a patched inner tube or a Wellington boot
Or the bag from a corn flakes box first.
Don't let your ambitions create inhibitions
When your maneen protection must don.
And remember the story so frightful and gory
How our man put his first johnny on.

©Frank McGrath - August 1996


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: bbc
Date: 15 Jan 99 - 11:09 PM

Frank,

All I can say is, "Thanks for sharing!"

bbc ;)


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Rosebrook
Date: 16 Jan 99 - 09:38 AM

Of geez, here goes nothing.

Most of you may have figured out by now, but for those who hadn't and are still confused (and just really, really gotta know), typically, a dental dam is associated with safe sex for lesbians during cunnilingus for the prevention of transmitting STDs. It is thick (thereby hampering pleasure-ability), doesn't taste good (again...)and there is controversy about its effectiveness. Saran wrap is actually a more highly chosen safe sex barrier in this situation, from my experience and that of other lesbians I know. Whether dental dams are used by heterosexual couples, I don't know, although I've wondered.

I know this is probably MUCH more than anyone here ever wanted, needed or hoped to hear about dental dams at the mudcat. I apologize if I have offended any readers.

Rose


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Philippa
Date: 16 Jan 99 - 10:12 AM

I admit, I already knew what dental dams are, heard about them YEARS ago. I don't know any songs or limericks about them. There's a thread about how much time people spend on Mudcat; my visits are getting longer and longer because Joe keeps adding all these links. I came to this thread after reading the methodologies threads Joe sent me to. And then I had to look at the condom catalogue; I'm pleased to see it has a "Secure Server".

Max and Barbara write about dad's sock drawer. Well, I did once rifle my dad's drawer when I was young(er) and found something I never forgot. It was written on a piece of paper. My excuse for writing it here is that SteveF gave me an html assignment to type out two limericks; so here's no. 1: There was an old man all forlorn
Who wished he had never been born
And he wouldn't have been if his father had seen
The place where the rubber was torn.


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Art Thieme
Date: 16 Jan 99 - 10:27 AM

Frank, An amazing song! Here in the USA "Johnny" or "john" means something else. BOTH are quite flushed right now!! (red-faced --- as were you, I suspect.) And like the folksinger in the 60's coffeehouse when the tornado hit, he (or she) went swirling away with his (or her) stool.

Rose---Like Frank said about condoms in Ireland, we didn't have lesbians here until they became legal a few years ago. ;-) **smiley thing**

Art


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Frank McGrath
Date: 16 Jan 99 - 11:40 AM

Art,

Thanks for the kind words but you may have sparked off another thread.

TRANATLANTIC MISUNDERSTANDING

Of course I would never dream of wearing a toilet bowel on my penis - especially if I wanted to stand (no pun intended) any chance of having sex with anything except for that rare person with a plumbing fetish.
But on this side of the Atlantic we would consider it more than odd for someone to urinate (or worse) into a condom.

Also, I am sure the gay liberation groups in North America would be quite upset to hear that Irish and even British people still set fire to fags and smoke them in public - having purchased a packet of twenty in a local store. Similarly, we find the Americans obsession with civil rigths for cigarettes at least quaint if not completely bizarre.

And those US TV programmes and films where the gentleman says to the lady;
- "Can I give you a RIDE" -
Well on this side of the Atlantic, no gentleman would ever dream of being so blunt and crude to a lady. We are much more self effacing - we might say - "I suppose a ride is out of the question? - and we would still probably get a slap in the kisser.

The wierd but wonderful world of words.


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Barbara
Date: 16 Jan 99 - 12:32 PM

Well, Frank, a man here would never offer to knock up a woman without expecting that same slap in the kisser (it means to get pregnant), and there was a thread on this topic a while back. Dont recall the name.
Blessings,
Barbara


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Big Mick
Date: 16 Jan 99 - 12:58 PM

Frank,

I have a gig this evening, and if it looks right, I am going to have a go at your song. I absolutely loved it. I will give proper attribution, in fact, I t'ink (could I buy a consonant, please?) I will read the intro that came with it. Let me know if I owe you anyting. **grin**

All the best,

Mick Lane


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Art Thieme
Date: 16 Jan 99 - 02:54 PM

Once again, but strangely, I'm getting used to it, Mudcatters are making me anti-semantic!

Art


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Peter T.
Date: 16 Jan 99 - 03:24 PM

You mean anti-sementic, surely, given the topic? Yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Duane D.
Date: 16 Jan 99 - 04:17 PM

We can't seem to let this thread go, it keeps coming back, kind of like what happens when you put the Eveready bunny's batteries in backwards.......


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Barry Finn
Date: 16 Jan 99 - 04:51 PM

Rosebrook, nope, wasn't confused at all. Was at the dentist not to long ago for a crown & they put a dental dam in my mouth, so I knew what it was for sure. I just had no idea of it's many uses, ya learn something new every day. An enlightened Barry


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Jan 99 - 05:15 PM

Since Helen's challenge thread was inspired by this thread, here's one of my challenge responses paying homage to this everchanging and ,uh,well, educational thread.

To "Irish Washerwoman"

My dental dam's shaped like a bicycle seat
And it tastes like an orange which I find really neat
It protects me from AIDS and most STD's
I only wish it would keep out the fleas!

catspaw


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Jack Hickman
Date: 16 Jan 99 - 07:48 PM

To Joe Offer:

Talk about Founts of all Knowledge, that little aside about Dental Dams, including the other contributions from Rose, etc. had to be the most enlightening episode I have experienced on the Internet. I had no idea such a thing existed.

As the old saying goes, show me a guy who doesn't and I'll steal his wife :-).

Thanks for this.

Jack


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Frank McGrath
Date: 16 Jan 99 - 08:27 PM

Mick Lane - the more luck to you - you'll need it if you sing that song. I once almost closed a pub after one very moving rendition - not an easy thing to do in Ireland.
And you will owe me -
you will owe me an account of how badly the ditty was received. Bit don't even think of caling me for your bail money.

Dental Dams
Now there's a curious thing. And I thought tooth brushes were the last word in dental hygiene. There is no doubt that the Mudcat is an all encompassing university of knowledge. Dick Greenhaus - How many more years must I serve here before getting my degree?
Yes I can see my certificate now in my minds eye
Frank McGrath, Bachelor o' Farts


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Mo
Date: 16 Jan 99 - 09:00 PM

Nah Frank - your doing yourself down - all practising musicians automatically qualify for at least a Master of Farts - if not a Doctorate.... !(!)

Mo (still at the First Primer stage - but practising the techniques!)


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Subject: RE: What brand condoms do Mudcatters prefer.
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 16 Jan 99 - 09:08 PM

G'day,
Years ago when condom vending machines first appeared in this country (usually in the Gents room in pubs) one of the first I saw had graffiti on it which read "This bloody chewy tastes like rubber".

Cheers,
Alan


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