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BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly

Charley Noble 23 May 06 - 08:52 PM
JudyB 23 May 06 - 02:50 PM
GUEST,Corridus 19 May 06 - 08:46 PM
MMario 19 May 06 - 03:37 PM
GUEST,Corridus 19 May 06 - 03:30 PM
GUEST,MMario 08 Apr 05 - 09:09 AM
Charley Noble 08 Apr 05 - 08:37 AM
GUEST,Corridus 07 Apr 05 - 10:14 PM
JudyB 07 Apr 05 - 09:30 PM
Charley Noble 31 Mar 05 - 01:03 PM
GUEST,hamsterettes 31 Mar 05 - 11:21 AM
Cluin 13 Nov 04 - 03:12 AM
GUEST,Corridus 12 Nov 04 - 12:36 PM
Charley Noble 11 Nov 04 - 02:15 PM
Little Hawk 11 Nov 04 - 01:29 AM
Cluin 10 Nov 04 - 02:48 PM
JudyB 10 Nov 04 - 11:45 AM
GUEST,Corridus's Secret Christmas Hamster 10 Nov 04 - 11:07 AM
GUEST 07 Oct 04 - 01:30 PM
JudyB 06 Oct 04 - 08:32 PM
Charley Noble 28 Aug 04 - 01:12 PM
GUEST,Chief Chaos 27 Aug 04 - 01:40 PM
GUEST,Corridus 27 Aug 04 - 11:32 AM
GUEST,Harriet Foxe 27 Aug 04 - 11:19 AM
JudyB 06 Aug 04 - 01:21 PM
GUEST 06 Aug 04 - 08:43 AM
GUEST,Corridus 05 Aug 04 - 10:44 PM
MMario 05 Aug 04 - 02:12 PM
Charley Noble 02 Aug 04 - 11:37 AM
JudyB 02 Aug 04 - 09:41 AM
GUEST,Corridus 02 Aug 04 - 12:30 AM
GUEST,Corridus 01 Aug 04 - 09:25 PM
DougR 01 Aug 04 - 09:02 PM
Charley Noble 01 Aug 04 - 08:09 PM
DougR 01 Aug 04 - 01:47 PM
JudyB 31 Jul 04 - 03:54 PM
GUEST 28 Jul 04 - 04:04 PM
JudyB 28 Jul 04 - 03:53 PM
GUEST,MMario 08 Jul 04 - 12:05 PM
JudyB 08 Jul 04 - 12:02 PM
GUEST,Corridus 02 Jul 04 - 12:04 PM
GUEST,MMario 02 Jul 04 - 10:05 AM
Charley Noble 02 Jul 04 - 09:47 AM
GUEST,MMario 01 Jul 04 - 09:34 AM
GUEST,Corridus 30 Jun 04 - 10:50 AM
JudyB 29 Jun 04 - 09:26 PM
Charley Noble 29 Jun 04 - 04:50 PM
GUEST,Freddy the White Rat 29 Jun 04 - 04:27 PM
GUEST,MMario 29 Jun 04 - 08:31 AM
Charley Noble 27 Jun 04 - 10:54 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 23 May 06 - 08:52 PM

So nice to get an update!

"The Rodent Flying Squadron" on the wing! What do you suppose they are flying? Would it be the Spad, the Nieuport, or the Sopwith Camel?

There can be little doubt that Baron Von Rattwurst is soaring away in one of those awesome Fokkers.

According to what I've read of World War 1 aviators, alcohol was an essential fuel.

Do watch out for the flak as you pass over the lines, and don't try shooting down one of the observation balloons; they are often set up as a trap for the unwary.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: JudyB
Date: 23 May 06 - 02:50 PM

Hmmm. I don't really think Mizzenchip is clever enough to go into hiding for 3 weeks just to see if you'd let your guard down - that level of planning seems more likely in advanced species such as hamsters and white rats. Some tomcats do go on a sort of romantic pilgrimage or walkabout in the spring, checking to see if any interesting new female felines have moved into the neighborhood - depending on the size of the neighborhood and the number of potential dalliances, that could take him a number of days (or weeks). I'd advise caution for a while longer.

I have mixed feelings about the idea of your heading off on another adventure. It can be scary out there - but on the other hand, I really can't see you and Freddy as content to be sitting around the fireplace passing around a bottle of old Port Royal (or your drink of choice). "...Some new mountain to climb" - there do seem to be people who feel compelled to climb mountains for no other reason than the fact they're there. Freddy could probably convert the plane to some sort of cross between a float plane and a snowmobile - but all that effort just to get very cold seems a bit silly to me.

If, however, during your climbing or other exploration, you could prove (or disprove) the ancient hypothesis that Bigfoot is actually a large primordial hamster....

Whatever you do, please bring the laptop so those of us who lack your courage and spirit of adventure can at least follow along vicariously.

Best of luck with whatever you do!
JudyB


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,Corridus
Date: 19 May 06 - 08:46 PM

Well put, MMario. Schauzers are vicious creatures intent on killing any rodent they can apprehend. Awful things! They're noisy and hysterical too. It's not enough that they mean to sieze you and kill you, they must yell about it incessantly while hounding you to your doom. Ugh!

That reminds me of 'Muffy', that disgusting poodle. She belongs to the Rich Kid's rich mummy. She was yearning to get her snaggly teeth on me, but she never succeeded. She encountered Mizzenchip "The Cat" one time in the park, but had the sense not to attack him. She jumped ran around in a frenzy and yelled at him from a distance. He barely spared her a single, utterly contemptuous glance. Typical. It's a pity she didn't go for him, because Mizzenchip would have flayed her alive with his claws. Oooooo...I hate to think what Muffy would have looked like after that! Too bad Muffy still has that one working brain cell left. Ha! Ha!

We have been speculating as to what might have happened to Mizzenchip. He was very tough, but I hear that those gigantic things the human monsters roll around in when they want to go long distances are even tougher. Perhaps one of those got him. We'll probably never know.

I'd feel a lot safer knowing he really is gone for good.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: MMario
Date: 19 May 06 - 03:37 PM

Schnauzer Squads! *shudder* I don't want to even contemplate what would have happenned if Desmond had fallen into the paws of the dreaded SS


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,Corridus
Date: 19 May 06 - 03:30 PM

Hello! I am touched to hear that my human monster friends are concerned about my welfare...specially Charley Noble who is truly a noble human monster. One of the best.

Well, there have been a few changes around here. The most notable one: Mizzenchip, the murderous Feline, has disappeared! Yes! The filthy beast has been missing for 3 weeks. Yippee! His human monsters have put up posters begging anyone who sees him to report in, but no one has. They fear for the worst. Freddy and I hope for it. With any luck, Mizzenchip has given up his ninth and final life and will not be seen again.

He had become extremely furtive ever since we took to strafing him with the airplane, but he was still quite active after dark, lurking around and hoping to murder innocent rodents, and we don't fly the plane at night. Too hazardous. Landings are tricky as it is, and even Freddy does not trust himself to handle night landings.

Inspired by our flying exploits, I have published a rollicking tale of hamsters in the First World War, called "The Rodent Flying Squadron". (thanks to Charley Noble for that title suggestion) Our hero, Desmond, forms up a squadron of heroic hamsters to take on the Baron Von Rattwurst and his deadly Flying Circus over the wartorn Flander's Fields! Lots of action and romance in this one. Desmond survives being shot down by the Baron, but is captured by the Hun! He makes his escape from their clutches, being assisted by a lovely hamstress freedom fighter. A 20 day Oddyssey follows as Desmond must make his way back across the Allied lines, pursued by owls, rats, and the Kaiser's assassination squads of trained Schauzers! It's real nail-biting stuff, right to the last page. I won't reveal more...don't want to spoil the ending.

The Rich Kid has been changing quite a bit. He gets bigger all the time. Horrifying! Fortunately, he seems to be reaching the age where he is developing some interest in female monsters. This has distracted him a bit, and that's good. We hope to avoid his further attentions.

Things have been quiet, so I am thinking it would be good to go on a new adventure soon. I have to find some new mountain to climb. But what would it be? Hmmm. Well, maybe Freddy has an idea or two.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 08 Apr 05 - 09:09 AM

Corridus - Letitia sounds like she's made you very happy - produce progeny prodidgiously! Maybe you can start your own Hamster baseball team?


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 Apr 05 - 08:37 AM

Corridus-

So good of you to post an update.

I can't help feeling a little anxious about the adventures you are planning, but I'm certainly pleased that you and Freddy have survived your latest round of encounters with Mizzenchip and the Kid. Indeed, they appear to have gotten the worst of it for a change.

And I'm pleased to hear that there is a new love in your life but it may be disappointing to some of your loyal fans if ALL she does is hang out in her cage being adorable and producing progeny...

With regard to the further adventures of "a barnstorming hamster," perhaps you could borrow a page from "Terry and the Pirates." Titles that come to mind for such a work include Corridus and the Flying Rat Fink, Vermin to the Rescue, The Rodent Flying Squadron, and Tales of the Rodent Aviators.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,Corridus
Date: 07 Apr 05 - 10:14 PM

Hello! It's nice to be remembered by friends out there in cyberspace. "20,000 Seeds Under the Sea" has netted me a great deal of attention out there in the world of literate rodents, and things are going very well. I am happy to report that I now have progeny! Several of them. I have done my duty and passed on my genes to the future generations. Yes, one of my most ardent fans, Letitia, has become my loving partner, and has moved into Zoe's cave. She has her own cage. She is an adorable and determined creature, typical of the best in female hamsters. I plan to have many more progeny as soon as possible.

Meanwhile Freddy's genius for invention continues to astound. We have had several hair-raising adventures in a gas-powered airplane which Freddy converted from radio control to manual, from inside the cockpit. It has a double cockpit with a rear observer and bombardier position. It was from that very position, as Freddy flew the plane, that I succeeded in bombing The Cat, Mizzenchip, with an explosive device called a cherry bomb. Ha! You should have seen him jump when it went off. All his orange hair stood up on end. We proceeded to chase him all over the place, making low strafing runs. Freddy has mounted twin BB caliber guns in the fuselage, powered by compressed air, and an interruptor gear so we don't shoot our own propellor off, of course. Mizzenchip was finally driven to flee into a drainage pipe. Ha! Ha! Ha! Sweet revenge is ours, after months of terrorism on the part of that filthy feline. He barely dares show himself outdoors anymore.

The Rich Kid, meanwhile, has attempted to shoot us down, and is on a vendetta against us. He put a couple of holes in the plane with his pellet gun. He's bigger and even meaner than before. Freddy wasn't going to let him get away with that. We did a split S at a couple of hundred feet and came down on him, firing in steady bursts. It was a game of chicken. He was backing up slowly, glaring at us through his sunglasses, and popping off shot after shot, and not looking at where he was going, which is why he fell in the swimming pool down at the park. I depthcharged him with a couple of cherry bombs as we flew over. Pow! Pow! That put a monkey wrench in his goozle.

Alas, the Rich Kid is hard to destroy completely, and I expect he will be back for more. His mummy will probably buy him some upgraded armaments. Freddy is going to armour the airplane in the vital areas.

The Rich Kid's mummy called the police, so I hear, but they refused to believe that rodents can fly airplanes. They think the Kid himself is responsible, and have given him a warning not to fly his airplanes in the park or in public areas.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Sometimes the lack of imagination typical of many human monsters can be a very convenient thing.

I now plan to write a book about a barnstorming hamster who flys all over the world, delivering secret documents and staging daring rescues in remote areas. I need to think of a good title for it.

Freddy sends his love to all!


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: JudyB
Date: 07 Apr 05 - 09:30 PM

The world has gone a bit mad. It would be nice to hear that you and Freddy are OK....


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 31 Mar 05 - 01:03 PM

So true. It's not just the hamsters. The whole world has gone mad!


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,hamsterettes
Date: 31 Mar 05 - 11:21 AM

we miss you corridus


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: Cluin
Date: 13 Nov 04 - 03:12 AM

pssst! It's not a real magazine.... just a Photoshop joke.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,Corridus
Date: 12 Nov 04 - 12:36 PM

I am really disgusted by that awful magazine! It is an outrage, as Little Hawk said!!! Ridiculous! Vile! Insulting! Nonsensical!

Well, I am just going to ignore it and move on.

The News around here: The election is over (thank heavens!) and our insane neighbour the militia-man, Benton W. Fender, got himself arrested again contesting the results. He feels that the Freedom Now Party (his party which wants to either blow up the rest of the world or wall it off permanently) was artificially shut out of the process by a controlled media. He had converted his apartment into an armed fortress and declared war on George Bush, the IRS, the police, the FBI, the Justice Department, the United Nations, Oprah Winfrey, all Muslims, and most "non-whites" (whatever that means).

It got quite exciting after he did that. He issued a New Declaration of Independence on the weekend and holed up in his apartment with the other 3 people in his party to wait for reinforcements to pour in from faraway places like Idaho and Alabama. An amazing number of Blue Meanies (police) arrived then. We and the other residents evacuated the building and gathered outside on the lawn while the Blue Meanies began making demands with loudspeakers.

Benton W. Fender made counterdemands with his own loudspeaker and played Beethoven, I think. Very loud. It was impressive, but I had the feeling that he had taken on more than he could chew this time.

Well, they yelled and negotiated till about 3 pm on Sunday, and then someone fired a shot and all hell broke loose. Benton W. Fender's apartment looks like a swiss cheese now, all full of holes. It was really a spectacle. They used tear gas and guns and they even had a black helicopter buzzing overhead making a fiendish noise. Dreadful. It reminded me of my flying days.

Benton W. Fender and his party members responed with rocket fire, hand grenades, gunshots, and a thing they launched out the window that looked like a giant banana. It took an erratic course into the air, veering this way and that, while the Blue Meanies ran around yelling and shooting at it. It made a sort of rude sound....like a PLF-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-PPP--GG-F-PTT! Then it exploded, and showered the Blue Meanies with something that looked like banana custard. What a mess. They were really mad about that.

Not long after that Benton W. Fender's 3 friends gave up and surrendered. They ran out waving white flags. I felt kind of sorry seeing him abandoned like that and all alone. Finally the Blue Meanies smashed in his door and managed to capture him alive. They dragged him off screaming "Liberty or Death".

I don't think he'll be back for a year or so this time. That's my guess. Things are going to be much quieter around here.

I saw my archenemy, THE CAT, while out on the lawn, but I was safe in my cage along with my friend Freddy the White Rat. Zoe was keeping an eye on us.

I am really getting a bit old for this sort of excitement, so I am glad that things are quieting down here now.

I also saw the Rich Kid from a distance. He is getting bigger and taller and nastier than ever. That's not good. I fear that he may one day become President of the United States. If so, it will be a black day!


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 02:15 PM

Hamster hunting! Leaping lizards, what will they think of next?

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 01:29 AM

That is an OUTRAGE!!! If anything will get Corridus back online, that should do it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: Cluin
Date: 10 Nov 04 - 02:48 PM

Did he survive?

Or was he an article in this magazine?


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: JudyB
Date: 10 Nov 04 - 11:45 AM

Well, it would be nice if Corridus would at least tell us that he survived the General Election.

Charley Noble at play while JB is away


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,Corridus's Secret Christmas Hamster
Date: 10 Nov 04 - 11:07 AM

helloo?


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 01:30 PM

rewind the excercise wheel


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: JudyB
Date: 06 Oct 04 - 08:32 PM

You know, Corridus, it's been almost two months since you promised to tell us the tale of the great escape. I realize there are lots of tales being told these days, and you may still be a bit on the busy side - but someday I would like to hear how you and Freddy got away....


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 01:12 PM

GROAN

May the cat bite your tongue off!

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 01:40 PM

I recently read a book about Chinese studies of linguistics in rodents.

It was titled:

"Mouse Say Tongue"


I'm Baaaack!


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,Corridus
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 11:32 AM

Oh, piffle. You don't scare me. Titles cannot be copyrighted. Go away.

I have been working away on the new books. Freddy is busy working on his electronic inventions. Mizzenchip has been seen at the window again, but he went away after awhile. Benton W. Fender is running for President and driving everyone crazy around here. I hope the Blue Meanies come and take him away again.

Corridus


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,Harriet Foxe
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 11:19 AM

Dear Sir or Madam:

   We regret to inform you that if you persist in referring to your writing as 'Wheel Of Destiny' we will be forced to bring action against you as that title is currently copyright by Akasha Publishing.



Harriet Foxxe


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: JudyB
Date: 06 Aug 04 - 01:21 PM

I love my Hamster with an H because he is handsome,
I hate him with an H because he is horrid;
He eats hamburgers with horseradish,
He's a horticulturalist and lives in a hut in Hastings;
He drives a Honda and likes to throw horseshoes.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Aug 04 - 08:43 AM

bet he plays the hamstered dulcimer!


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,Corridus
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 10:44 PM

I have fairly eclectic tastes in music, Mario. I went through a stage where I loved the Kingston Trio, specially the song about the man who got trapped on the MTA in Boston. It's great! I later found out about the old Alvin, Simon and Theodore chipmunk records and those were great too. I like early Joan Baez. I found out about this forum kind of by accident, though. I could see right away that there were kindred souls here who could relate to the challenges faced by a rodent in today's society.

I will presently tell the story of our escape from Tyler, the Rich Kid. Freddy was a huge help in accomplishing that. Right now I am too loaded down with work. Busy, busy!


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: MMario
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 02:12 PM

well - being in the throes of publishing one novell and the creation of another explains why Corridus doesn't have time for us...


But I have wondered - Corridus - are you a musical hamster? what drew you to the Mudcat Cafe in the first place?


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 02 Aug 04 - 11:37 AM

At least we managed to smoke Corridus out!

There's nothing like "happiness" to disuade one from posting on Mudcat.

And, Doug, I'm pleased to learn that you were glued to the screen the other night to catch Kerry's daughter telling the wonderful story of her father diving in to save her hamster; I've been thinking that I might compose a ballad, although the daughter did admit that her hamster was never quite the same again. I wonder what Bush's daughters will come up with to top this story. Wasn't there a story about GWB as a child pulling wings off horseflies?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: JudyB
Date: 02 Aug 04 - 09:41 AM

But...but...but - how did you and Freddy escape from the Rich Kid? How did you find Zoe again? Your airplane?? Can't you provide your faithful readers here a bit of a preview of the adventures to be found in "Seeds of Sin II" and "20,000 Seeds Under the Sea"?

I am glad to hear that you are well and happy, and sorry to hear about Measle - as you said, it's especially sad when one loses both an acquaintance and an opportunity for friendship.

But what's the rest of the story of your escape and return to Zoe's?


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,Corridus
Date: 02 Aug 04 - 12:30 AM

Sorry, I meant "Seeds of Sin II (The Wheel of Destiny)". "Seeds of Sin" was my first book. I am also working on an epic called "20,000 Seeds Under the Sea" about a rodent submariner. It promises to be very suspenseful.

It seems that Measle ran afoul of the insidious Mousetrap while attempting to raid the food stores (once again). I thought he knew about Mousetraps. It's very sad. Slithey the Rat is rumoured to have died also of his wounds, but no one knows for sure. Benton W. Fender, the maniac with the shotgun, is running for Congress on the Liberty Party ticket. I've seen his posters. They say "Vote Bent Fender for Liberty in America! Freedom or Death!!!".

He tried to shoot down my airplane. He thought it was a terrorist attack vehicle of some kind. I hope he is soon arrested and put in a secure mental facility. All his neighbours share my hopes. He is not popular here. The Blue Meanies have been keeping a close eye on him, I hear.

Did I mention that I have been reunited with Zoe?! A poignant moment. She cried. It is wonderful to feel truly loved, even by a radically different species that is 10,000 times one's own body weight. Freddy the White Rat is also living here now, and has his own cage. Zoe likes Freddy very much. Freddy is co-writing "20,000 Seeds Under the Sea" with me, because he knows a lot about machines and that sort of thing. He has proven to be a loyal friend and adventuring companion. I have warned him about Mizzenchip the Orange Cat and Slithy the Sewer Rat. Freddy saw Mizzenchip through the window. "That's a natural born killer," he said. Mizzenchip saw Freddy too, and he hung around for some time at the window, but he couldn't get in. Perhaps Bent Fender will decide that Mizzenchip is a terrorist and shoot him. One can always hope.

(Mizzenchip regards Bento Fender with lofty disdain, verging on vague disgust, but that's Mizzenchip's attitude towards everyone, I think.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,Corridus
Date: 01 Aug 04 - 09:25 PM

Well, bravo for John Kerry! He will definitely be getting my vote. That rotten pscychotic maniac George Bush has never done a thing to help rodents.

I am happy to report that after desperate and hair-raising adventures I have survived, and am well and happy. My 2nd book, "Seeds of Sin" is about to hit the presses! I obtained invaluable experiences in my unwise adventures outside in the Big World, which were precipitated by my foolish desire for vengeance on my old opponent, Measle the Mouse. In this regard I was as foolish as George Bush, in fact, who pursued a similarly unwise course in regards to Saddam Hussein and Iraq. I blush to admit it, but I have been chastened by suffering the consequences of my idiotic actions.

I am sorry to report that Measle came to a bad end recently. He was found nearly decapitated by a mousetrap! A fiendish device! I am genuinely sorry that it happened. I now recall how Measle and I fled together in fear from that horrible rat, made brothers for a brief moment by a common danger. "Run!" he yelled to me. Alas! Now Measle is gone forever. The possibility of transforming a deadly enemy into a friend has been irretrievably lost, and I must bear the sorrow of it. Poor Measle has gone where no mousetraps or rats can harm him anymore.

I am getting choked up now...

I must sign off and return later. Oh, the tragedy of a life cut short! (sob)


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: DougR
Date: 01 Aug 04 - 09:02 PM

No, Charlie, I was referring to the heartwarming story John Kerry's daughter related at the DNC convention in Boston last week. Her Hamster, in it's cage, slipped from her fingers and fell from the boat into the fearsome waters of the Atlantic Ocean. The mudcat's hero, John Kerry, dove into the water without thought to his own safety and rescued the little critter. Even gave it life-saving resperation.

DougR


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 01 Aug 04 - 08:09 PM

Doug-

Do you mean New Hampster? I think Judy's primarily interested in the old one.

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: DougR
Date: 01 Aug 04 - 01:47 PM

Sounds to me as if John Kerry could have taken care of any Hamster situations that may have arisen. Anybody call him in?

DougR


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: JudyB
Date: 31 Jul 04 - 03:54 PM

You may be right. I was looking back, and Corridus began his travels in mid January - prime time for hibernating in the Northern Hemisphere. It's now about six minths later, so it may be time for him to take a bit of a break. And he was getting ready to curl up and pretend to be asleep the last time we heard from him. I've never tried hibernating or estivating (at least in the biologically-driven sense) so I've no idea how powerful the urge is when the time comes. I have this vision of Rip Van Hamster with a long, long beard....


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 04:04 PM

Maybe he's estivating? (the summer equivilant of hibernation) - unless of course he's in Oz - in wihc case he could be hibernating...


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: JudyB
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 03:53 PM

Almost a month since we've heard from our intrepid hero. Maybe he's just too busy with his next book to tell us what's happening. Maybe - but I'm getting a bad feeling about this.... Freddy or DeLancey or Hank or Ruffles or someone - do you have any news?


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 12:05 PM

Can't you just hear the background music getting more and more ominous? (hmmmm- I wonder if anyone has the movie rights to Corridus' work yet?)


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: JudyB
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 12:02 PM

I'm hoping no news is good news....

Did Muffy ever leave? Could Freddy, once released, free the other inmates and lead them to safety? Is the noble band now making its way to the nearest internet cafe?

Or is this silence the result of something more sinister? Only time will tell....


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,Corridus
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 12:04 PM

It is apparently a "holiday weekend" coming. This is not good. It means that Tyler the Rich Kid will have more time on his hands than usual, and will be looking for "entertainment". We are his entertainment, meaning me, Freddy the White Rat, Ruffles the rabbit, Hank the Lizard, and the one surviving Gerbil, De Lancey.

Muffy the Poodle has been prowling around all morning trying to figure out how to murder us. As usual the idiot can't get into our cages. A good thing. I hope that Muffy soon runs afoul of a very large and mean dog like a Rotweiler. If her buggy little eyes stick out any farther I fear they will fall out of her head and start rolling around on the floor like marbles.

Yes! I'm talking about you, Muffy, you piece of decaying excrement! Go away!

The Rich Kid slightly damaged the landing gear on the Helldiver, and it has to be repaired. I think he's working on it now.

Freddy and I are working on a plan of our own. I have found a way to open the latch on Freddy's cage. If Muffy would just go away, then I could do it. Leave, you filthy creature, leave!!!

I shall have to ignore her and pretend to be asleep.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 10:05 AM

perhaps Corridus could line the area around the receiver with buble gum wrappers - the metallic portion? Wouldn't that help block the radio waves?


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 09:47 AM

Once again our hero comes through! I was really worried that Corridus would go down in flames like the Red Baron. There has got to be some way to block the Rick Kid's radio controller. Maybe we could send out the Rodent Rapid Response Flying Squad with a cellphone.

Charley Noble and the Rodent Mariners


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 09:34 AM

Be of stout heart Corridus. The well-wishes of the Mudcat go with you - (and people can testify they DO make a difference!)


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,Corridus
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 10:50 AM

I am still here, having survived a hellish half hour or so in the Helldiver yesterday afternoon! As usual the Rich Kid had gloves on and he forced me into the cockpit where I was trapped and helpless beneath a transparent plastic cover. Then he started the engine! The noise was almost beyond belief...a sheer wall of mechanical sound that battered the ears in an insane cacophony. The plane started to shudder and bounce its way rapidly across the grass, then suddenly took to the air and climbed in a sickeningly rapid spiral. I felt my stomach lurch to the G-forces. The horrors were only beginning! The barrel roll! The loop-de-loop! The spit-S! The flat spin!

The weird thing was that after awhile, having resigned myself to a certain death, I began to almost enjoy the exhilaration of flight. I started observing how the control wires worked, and I am hatching an idea of sorts, assuming I go up again in the Helldiver.

It's given me some more great ideas for my new story "20,000 Seeds Under the Sea". I am going to give the submarine a seaplane and work that into the plot.

This is assuming I live to publish "20,000 Seeds Under the Sea"...

Have been discussing armed revolution here with Freddy and the other inmates. Something must be done soon.

Thanks to Freddy again for the use of his laptop.

- Corridus


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: JudyB
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 09:26 PM

Hmmm -

I remember a time one of our cats (Teji, actually, who also serves as the noble steed for the Rodent Responders) chased a squirrel up a very short tree that was not near any other trees. Usually, when Teji chases a squirrel up a tree, the squirrel just runs out one of the thin branches and jumps to another tree, leaving Teji rather frustrated (or slightly flat, if she tries to run out the thin branch too). This time, however, Teji clearly had the squirrel cornered.

However, as Teji started up the tiny tree, the squirrel jumped on to Teji's head, ran down her back and disappeared across the lawn. Teji didn't even chase the squirrel - she was clearly in a state of shock.

I mention this because, while it does not look good at the moment, it is possible that an ingenious adventurer such as Corridus might find a way to turn this situation to his advantage. I don't know much about the internal workings of a Helldiver - could someone seize control of the steering mechanism if he could gnaw through some wires? What would happen if the plane suddenly started swooping down on Rich Kid and Muffy the Poodle? Would they be driven to hide in Murky Pond? Am I getting ahead of the plot line?

What will happen to our fearless (or hapless) hero?

Thank you, Freddy, for the update. We wait eagerly for further news....

JudyB

P.S. The moon rocket?? Has Corridus boldly gone where no hamster has gone before...?


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 04:50 PM

Oh, no, not the Helldiver!

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,Freddy the White Rat
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 04:27 PM

Freddy The White Rat

I have to report that our deranged adolescent persecutor has taken Corridus to the park today and intends to send him aloft in the "Helldiver", a radio-controlled stunt plane. The Helldiver's
predecessor came to a sudden and spectacular end last August, when it did a vertical nosedive into the ground at some unbelievable speed and atomized itself, along with the late Hanley the Gerbil, a rodent who has been sorely missed by his grieving friends. Nothing was found but one of his teeth and a bit of scorched hair. I fear for the worst. The Helldiver is one of those planes that has 2 wings instead of one, and it's made to go fast and do fancy maneuvers, but the Kid is a reckless controller. He has lost numerous radio-controlled planes before this one, and his
Mommy Monster always buys him new ones to replace them. Each plane that he has lost has taken a good friend of mine with it! I also had a friend who died a no doubt hideous and slow death at the bottom of a muddy pond in a submarine that malfunctioned and never came back up.

The Kid is a harbinger of Death. I hope that he one day experiences the sheer terror he has inflicted on so many others so heedlessly! Muffy the Poodle will be going along, hoping to devour Corridus's miserable remains in the event of a crash.

The Kid figures that Corridus is "lucky" because he has already survived so many other moments of mechanized madness, such as the diving U-Boat, the Monster Truck, the "Road Rage" course, the Moon Rocket, the Jet Boat, and the Parachute Cannon. The Helldiver is the ultimate risk, and I fear the Kid is reaching a point of mania that can only end in another untimely death.

We must try to do something to help Corridus. I'm thinking, but I am at a loss for what to do. If only I was larger!

- Freddy


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 08:31 AM

I suspect Corridus is just in the throes of wrestling with his muse (sounds like fun, doesn't it?) and will emerge again.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stir Crazy: A Hamster Goes Mad Slowly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 27 Jun 04 - 10:54 AM

Not even a whisker of a post...it don't look good.

Charley Noble


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