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BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter

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Rapparee 17 Jul 03 - 10:20 PM
Amos 17 Jul 03 - 10:24 PM
katlaughing 18 Jul 03 - 03:22 AM
MudGuard 18 Jul 03 - 03:37 AM
Dave Bryant 18 Jul 03 - 06:16 AM
Grab 18 Jul 03 - 08:32 AM
Little Hawk 18 Jul 03 - 10:09 AM
Amos 18 Jul 03 - 10:20 AM
Noreen 18 Jul 03 - 10:50 AM
Gareth 18 Jul 03 - 11:01 AM
GUEST,MMario 18 Jul 03 - 11:05 AM
GUEST,Desdemona at work 18 Jul 03 - 11:53 AM
Amos 18 Jul 03 - 11:56 AM
GUEST,leeneia 18 Jul 03 - 12:04 PM
GUEST,MMario 18 Jul 03 - 12:13 PM
GUEST,leeneia 18 Jul 03 - 12:20 PM
GUEST,MMario 18 Jul 03 - 12:26 PM
GUEST,MMario 18 Jul 03 - 12:27 PM
DMcG 18 Jul 03 - 12:47 PM
GUEST,MMario 18 Jul 03 - 12:53 PM
Mudlark 18 Jul 03 - 01:26 PM
Rapparee 18 Jul 03 - 01:40 PM
Amos 18 Jul 03 - 02:34 PM
Liz the Squeak 18 Jul 03 - 03:08 PM
clueless don 18 Jul 03 - 04:44 PM
Chief Chaos 18 Jul 03 - 04:56 PM
Amergin 18 Jul 03 - 05:18 PM
GUEST,pdc 18 Jul 03 - 06:01 PM
Rapparee 18 Jul 03 - 06:09 PM
Liz the Squeak 18 Jul 03 - 06:10 PM
TheBigPinkLad 18 Jul 03 - 06:27 PM
EBarnacle1 18 Jul 03 - 06:41 PM
Liz the Squeak 18 Jul 03 - 06:42 PM
Liz the Squeak 18 Jul 03 - 06:44 PM
TheBigPinkLad 18 Jul 03 - 06:48 PM
McGrath of Harlow 18 Jul 03 - 07:15 PM
Rapparee 18 Jul 03 - 08:53 PM
Nancy King 18 Jul 03 - 10:16 PM
Liz the Squeak 19 Jul 03 - 03:02 AM
Bassic 19 Jul 03 - 04:30 AM
Bassic 19 Jul 03 - 04:34 AM
Hillheader 19 Jul 03 - 08:09 AM
Rapparee 19 Jul 03 - 08:28 AM
Hillheader 19 Jul 03 - 09:07 AM
Bert 19 Jul 03 - 02:00 PM
GUEST,Boab D 19 Jul 03 - 02:14 PM
The Walrus 19 Jul 03 - 06:27 PM
Amos 19 Jul 03 - 07:04 PM
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Liz the Squeak 20 Jul 03 - 01:13 PM
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Subject: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 03 - 10:20 PM

Being a librarian, I have Certain Contacts. As a result, here is some stuff that was left out of the Harry Potter books published so far. I knew that y'all would appreciate them

---------------
            
    Harry gazed up and greater fear than he'd ever known before in his life stabbed through him. At the same time his scar blazed with such pain that he collapsed, staring up at the sign swinging in the gentle breeze, the sign reading "Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle, Attorneys-At-Law."
                               **
    "Of course there are girls upstairs at the Three Broomsticks! Why do you think they call her MADAME Rosemurta, anyway?" asked George incredulously.
                               **
    "Harry," said Hermione quietly, "these tests don't lie. You have to face the fact that Severus Snape is your father."
                               **
    "For God's sake, Weasley," drawled Malfoy, "roll off her and let Crabbe show you how it's done."
                               **
    When Snape had his back turned again, Hermione whispered to Ron, "You know, you can stir around in my cauldron anytime."
                               **
    She flicked her long black wand against her tight leather pants and purred, "It's MISTRESS Ginny, Potter, MISTRESS Ginny. Now get down on your belly and beg Mistress's forgiveness like a good little worm."
                               **
    McGonigle pointed her wand at Dumbledore and shouted "Viagra!"
                               **
    "Great man, Dumbledore," murmured Hagrid. "A bit of a twit, but a great man all the same."
                               **
    "Ah, Harry," said Hermione, looking pale. "You know the other night...and, well, I got the spell wrong...and, oh, Harry, you were right! You were right! The words WERE 'Contra ceptio' and not 'Pro ceptio' What are we going to do?! Harry?.. Harry?"
                               **
    "Harry," whispered Angelina, "why don't you let me show you some positions you won't find on the Quidditch field?"
                               **
    "Sorry, Malfoy," grinned Harry. "I thought it was the snitch. You know, you really should either wear underwear or fasten your robes when you play Quidditch or accidents like this will happen."
                        **
In a blaze of anger Harry pointed his wand at Ron and Hermione and shouted, "Coitus interruptus!"
                        **
Harry looked up lazily from his place on the ground, up the shapely leg to the short wizard's robe that fit tightly around the well-shaped figure, past the teasing green eyes to the flaming red hair, and said, smiling, "My goodnes Ginny! You're all grown up, aren't you?"


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 03 - 10:24 PM

Well, that certainly pops THAT little bubble, doesn't it??? ">))

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 03:22 AM

LMAO, thanks!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: MudGuard
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 03:37 AM

Rapaire, where can I buy this adult version? ROFL!


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 06:16 AM

"Hermione", gasped Harry, "I do love the way that you perform that spell completely orally".


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Grab
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 08:32 AM

I remember a little while back seeing a bit of HP fan-fiction involving a naked Quidditch match, presented as emails between the various people. That was a total scream. I'll dig it out if anyone wants.

Graham.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 10:09 AM

There has also been no mention of either Bob Dylan or William Shatner in any of the Harry Potter books as yet. I thought I'd mention it, because I doubt that anyone else will.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 10:20 AM

Got that right, LH.

Face to face with the deepest and most immediate evil she had ever seen in the world, Hermione was frozen with fear. Weakly, lost in his deep glowering stare, she wiggled her wand with one finger, and managed to whisper "Williamus Shatneri" in a dry and terrified voice.

The evil spell evaporated, and Voldemere -- the lord of terror, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, the tower of incarnate evil and fear, blinked, overcome by a cloud of insipid dullness that seemed to transform him. He staggered back, and looked around him stupidly.

"Gee!", he said. "What was that? Was that a magic spell? Hey, that was purty good!"

Hermione couldn't believe her ears....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Noreen
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 10:50 AM

What role will WS take in the next HP fillum, LH?

One of the posing potraits on the staircase??

:0)


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Gareth
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 11:01 AM

Oh Damn - I misread the title - thought it was about Harry Pollit

Gareth


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 11:05 AM

No! WS will have the role of a new ghost - Almost Dickless Amadeus


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: GUEST,Desdemona at work
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 11:53 AM

It's obvious that WS will be the next Defense Against the Dark Arts
teacher. Unfortunately, his only countercurse will be, "Must...resist..."!


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 11:56 AM

It raises an interesting question. We generally hear that good, intelligent people have a Dark Side, or are sometimes overcome by the Dark Side, or some such. I suspect that what bothers Evil Forces the most is that they will be overtaken by the Dull Side, and find themselves in the grip of an uncontrollable impulse to do nothing very interesting, or wake up stupid. A sort of satanic nightmare...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 12:04 PM

As a former librarian myself, I'm glad to see that others don't idolize the Harry Potter books. I actually read one once, for I was crossing the Atlantic and was desperate for something to pass the time. I found it hackneyed, filmi, and much too violent. Its happy ending was simply wrenched into place, for the author had apparently written herself into a cul-de-sac, then decided the book was long enough.

Parents, there are a lot better books of magic and fantasy down at your public library.

NB: "Filmi" is a wonderful new word I got from a book set in India. It means that something in real life slavishly imitates something in the movies. Spread it around, would you?


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 12:13 PM

I keep hearing the Potter books described as violent - but I don't see them as violent at all - maybe I just have a higher threshhold?


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 12:20 PM

In the book I read, a gang of thugs guns down Harry's mother and father as Harry looks on. Later, an animal (small dragon, if I recall) is euthanized at the behest of the school bully. Our emotions are much manipulated as we share the other children's helpless rage over this. (The dragon is miraculously resurrected in the hokey last chapter.)

I consider all that too violent.

I have a little friend, age 7, whose father reads to her. They tried the Potter books, and she told me herself that they quit reading them because they were too violent.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 12:26 PM

don't remember those scenes at all!


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 12:27 PM

as a matter of fact - weren't Harry's parents killed when he was an infant and he has no recollection of the scene at all?


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: DMcG
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 12:47 PM

I'm wondering, leenia, if you've read Bruno Bettelheim's "Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairytales"? There are many who disagree with him, but his main thesis was that fairytales allow children to explore dangerous situations imaginatively while knowing they are physically safe. While there are many parts of his books I don't agree with myself, I do feel that it is not a good idea that all violence and uncomfortable ideas are expunged from books for seven year olds.

All of this drift is far too serious for this thread, let's get back to the silliness.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 12:53 PM

there are a lot of sites out there trying to come up with "Butterbeer" recipes - most of which sound disgusting...

I would think that a homemade "rootbeer" type concoction could be done using Butterscotch flavouring and yeast - just enough fementation to make it "sparkle" that would be much tastier then the combinations of melted butter and soda that many sites are reccomending.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Mudlark
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 01:26 PM

It's hot, the air is smoky, casting fear upon the land and I've a load of laundry and much housecleaning to do before the next onslaught of houseguests. And then...Mudcat! The pause that refreshes. A great thread.

Amos, you are a funny man! And I mean that in the best poss way.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 01:40 PM

Actually, I rather like the HP books, as do every kid I know. They do require Coleridge's "willing suspension of disbelief," though.

Personally, I think that Bettelheim is right in saying that literature helps prepare children. My mother used to read us the Arthurian stories, and ever since I've been ready to pull that sword out of the stone and rule all England as the rightful king.

There's also "Terence, this is stupid stuff."

I started writing the HP outakes a couple of years ago (yes, I confess, I wrote them and wattayagonnadoaboutit, huh?) simply because I have a hard time taking a lot of stuff seriously -- and because I liked the use of language in the books.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 02:34 PM

Thanks, darlin' --but I am far and away not the only or the most funny guy in this neck of the owods!! :>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 03:08 PM

Norbert was NOT euthanised... he was sent to Romania, to a sanctuary where one of Ron's brothers worked... Bill I think?

Odd that I forget the humans' name but remember the dragon.

Actually, no, not odd at all, given that I share a house with only 2 humans (if you can call Bratling human) but some 500+ dragons.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: clueless don
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 04:44 PM

Not that it matters, but I *suspect* that the book GUEST,leeneia was talking about was "The Prisoner of Azkaban", and that the "dragon" she/he seems to remember was in fact the Hippogriff, Buckbeak. Of, course, I may be wrong.

I love the books myself, and am patiently waiting for "Order of the Phoenix" to come out in paperback.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 04:56 PM

Buckbeak escaped and helped Harry. He was to be destroyed but that was all Lucious Malfoys doing. Wouldn't want him to have a happy ending now would we.

Keep up the outtakes. Can't take this stuff too seriously. What's more violent? HP or GWB?


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Amergin
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 05:18 PM

well it's certainly no more violent than the bible...or the other various mythologies of the world....


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: GUEST,pdc
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 06:01 PM

I don't think the wonderful first Harry Potter book is suitable for a 7-year-old child at all. Harry is 11 in the first book, and I think that's a good age for a child's introduction to the books. I just finished the 5th book in the series, and IMO, it shouldn't be read until the child is approximately 15 as well (Harry is 15 in the book).

For one thing, even the first book is too scary for a 7-year-old; in the second place, the kids get so much more out of these books when they are the right age for them.

I have them all for my grandson, who is 6. I'm just waiting a while.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 06:09 PM

Like so many other things, you shouldn't give Harry or anything else to a child until she or he is ready for it. My 8 year old nephew, for instance, has read all four HP books and is reading the fifth. Other children might not be ready for any of them until into their teens.

PDC, at least you care. Lots don't and librarians, like teachers, see it. But don't use your grandchild as a ruler against which to measure all children. They are individuals and mature, physically, intellectually, and psychologically, at different rates. Statistics are wonderful, but they only apply to a large population -- and one isn't a large population. I'm afraid that all too often we lose sight of the individuality of children.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 06:10 PM

Sod that, just getting most 7 year olds to read a book is hell's own job.... if they want to read HP and stick to it, why shouldn't they? Bratling loves them, even though she's just 7. She saw the films and still wanted to read the books.

Besides, this is the child who was found one day watching 'the Mummy', and laughing at the 'juicy' skeleton.

And as Ms Rowling answered one parent who criticised the violence and horror that Harry goes through ~ If you think this book is scary, you ought to try real life one day.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 06:27 PM

Bang on L-the-S. It was kids that chose to make this character a phenomenon, not librarians.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 06:41 PM

Thread drift--Liz and others. If you are desirous, PM me and I will forward "Once There Were Dragons," a tale/essay about why dragons seem to have become extinct, at least in public. It is much too long to type up here and I have not gotten around to publishing it. Eric


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 06:42 PM

Yup, like quite a few other people here, I was once a librarian. The films were made because the books were popular and if they were popular, it's because they were being read.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 06:44 PM

That's a familiar title... where is it from originally?

It's going to bug me all night now.....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 06:48 PM

It might be familiar from ancient maps ... to the south of the known world they used to write "here there be dragons"


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 07:15 PM

I think leenia must have skipped rather vigorously and creatively.

I think a lot of the problems with the books are that she's been learning on the job. Assuming she keeps on writing after she's got the seven Harry Potter booked finished with, it'll be interesting to see what she comes up with.

I was disappointed she didn't bump off one of the other popular characters instead. But saying which one would be a spoiler, since it'd indicate that unfortunately the character is still with us.


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 08:53 PM

Hey, the librarians bought it so that kids who couldn't buy it could read it.

The days of "that's simply not great literature" are over everywhere I know about. We want kids reading; great lit can came later if ever.

Are you familiar with Captain Underpants? Kids like him, but he's been on the banned books lists....


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Nancy King
Date: 18 Jul 03 - 10:16 PM

LOTS of really great literature has been on the banned books list. It's almost a badge of honor. Sure, lots of kids aren't ready for the HP books, or their parents think they aren't. So they don't have to read it. I'm a librarian too, and believe me, those books get kids to read. Captain Underpants, Harry Potter, Goosebumps, whatever works.

As for myself, I'm currently listening to "Order of the Phoenix" on tape, and I think it's a gas. Great literature, no. Fun stuff? Yes.

And I LOVE the "stuff left out!" Let's have more!

Cheers, Nancy


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Jul 03 - 03:02 AM

Captain Thunderpants is another one that got made into a film - starring Ron Weasley looking very strange as a egghead.

If the book is banned, how will the little darlings be able to read it?

But I agree, get into the habit of reading now, and the classics can come later, although that spawns a whole new thread, what do you consider a classic children's book?

Reading is a learned response and a habit. They read at school because they have to, at home because they want to. Bratling has seen Manitas and I with a book so often that it's considered normal behaviour to read at home. Our house is full of books, there isn't a room that doesn't have at least one bookshelf full to overflowing, including the bathroom (poetry - people spent entirely too long in there reading long novels, poems are usually shorter). Bratling's nearly finished an Enid Blyton compilation of the Wishing Chair stories, a book thicker than most Bibles! And still, people look amazed when they see her sitting in a corner with a book. I pity them because they've ovbiously learned that reading books stops when you leave school.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Bassic
Date: 19 Jul 03 - 04:30 AM

Here here! PLEASE dont wrap your kids in cotton wool. Know what they are reading, explain context to them, reassure them, but let them have a flavour of life and the real world. I am not a naturally literate person, I understand music at a far more instinctive level than I do litterature. I have always been able to "spell" musically but English has always been hard work. I am so thankfull that I was encouraged to read when I was younger.
As a consequence I am still child like in my reading in that all I really care about in a book is if it has a good story but I HAVE got the skills to access good literature when the need or mood takes me, its just hard work thats all. And why do I have those skills? Because I read Enid Blyton and Biggles amongst others. Probably all now banned as being racist, too violent or some other such PC infringement.
Its not that they were great literature, but they got me READING! My later education was then able to access that skill so that I could appreciate good literature and develop my own oppinions about stuff and understand those of others. How are you expected to truly appreciate most of Monty Pythons humour if you have never read Biggles? I am not saying that we should be writing those kinds of stories now for todays children, society and its norms have moved on since those days, but PLEASE stop overprotecting them. I would rather any child of mine was curled up in bed reading a Potter book than surfing the net or "playing" in the street. Far more "danger" there I would think?


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Bassic
Date: 19 Jul 03 - 04:34 AM

Especially if they have never learned that there just could be something nasty "lurking" just around the corner!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Hillheader
Date: 19 Jul 03 - 08:09 AM

"Bloody House Elves! What have they done with the WMD?"

"Hermione, I told you there was no way Bush or Blair would take the veracitarium"

"Yes Ron, Hagrid does look a bit like John Prescott - but is less dangerous".

"I don't get it Hermione, how can Voldermort be an anagram of Alistair Campbell."

Davebhoy


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 03 - 08:28 AM

My brother Tony might be thought strange by some, but his house is FULL of reading. And he doesn't protect his kids more than he thinks needful:

"'You're taking a five-year-old and a four-year-old to their grandmother's funeral?! That's awful! Aren't you afraid that your boys will be traumatized?'

'No. Death is part of life. I've explained that to them.'"

"'You're taking your children hunting with you?!?! You'll traumatize them!!! Aren't you worried? Don't you CARE??'

'I'm far more worried that they'll end up thinking that meat comes in neat little packages, all wrapped in plastic.'"

These are word-for-word conversations he had. The results:

The youngest was at the funeral with me. At the cemetery, he was holding my hand and he turned to me and said, "Why are they going to put Grandma in that hole?" "Because we can't keep her around any more. Besides, that's just her body -- Grandma's done with it and has gone elsewhere." "Oh. Then it's a good idea."

Oldest Daughter, the first time she _helped_ to clean out a deer: "It was cool and really, really interesting!" She'll graduate with a BS in Biochemistry next Spring and head off to grad school.

Youngest Daughter, last Fall: "It was great. I think that I want to go into Veterinary Medicine, and now I know more about animal anatomy."

No, don't give 'em more than they can take...and be with them the whole way, because that's your job as a parent. But don't shield them, either.

Books and reading can and do help.

(If you want to shield them, hide the television.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Hillheader
Date: 19 Jul 03 - 09:07 AM

"No Hagrid, it's not Buckbeak. It's Anne Widdicombe on her new Nimbus 2003"

Davebhoy


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Bert
Date: 19 Jul 03 - 02:00 PM

Hermione held out her hand and commanded "UP"
"Not again!" sighed Ron wearily


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: GUEST,Boab D
Date: 19 Jul 03 - 02:14 PM

Some people are really not living in reallity these days when you can go on about a CHILDRENS book being violent. Come on now when you were all kids and were little people ,like your kids and grandweans did some of the "Thats too violent" crew never read any thing that made you nutters and not wee reserved people who care about what the content of a book is. Children (and adults) read books and if HP is a way to get people reading and away from the television and the internet well is it a bad thing just because theres some fighting and some good versus evil and all the stuff that goes into books. That is the crux of things though good and bad. So if someone is relating to the little ones in your care or in your family by writing books whats the problem. At least they're learning about the beauty of language along with some morals in the process


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: The Walrus
Date: 19 Jul 03 - 06:27 PM

I seem to recall childhood tales of Giants being killed, dragons being sliced up by thugs in tin suits, Grannies being eaten by wolves, wolves being sliced up by local woodcutters and witches being tricked/forced into their own oven by children, and the Potter books are too violent????

Walrus


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 03 - 07:04 PM

Hermione made her way through the disgruntled portrait and up to her dormitory bed, and began to fold her school uniform and slip on her nightgown.

"Oh, my!", she muttered to herself. "You are a big girl now, aren't you??"

...


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 03 - 11:56 PM

Harry took off his robes and gazed into the Mirror of Arisaid. "Oh, man," he breathed, "if only I WAS built like that!"
    --
"Harry," said Ron breathily, "Harry, I've wanted to tell you something for a very long time, Harry."
    --
"Well, for goodness sakes, Weasley," said Seamus, settling the front of his robe. "Why do you think he's called Longbottom, anyway? Neville's family name is Smith."
    --
His robes vanished, and with a big grin Harry plunged into the traditional Gryffyndor House Cup Orgy.
    --
"Huhmf!" Madame Maxime sniffed scornfully. "Not EVERYTHING about you is gigantique, 'agrid."
    --
"Of course Fred and George are going blind, Potter! They're Beaters, after all."
    --
"Now, class," said Hagrid, "I've arranged for a special treat. I think you'll enjoy this, all of ya. Today, we're studying Satyrs and Nymphs, and here they come now!"
    --
"It was horrible," gasped Hermione, "just horrible. I never thought...I never suspected...in the teachers' lounge...McGonigle and Dumbledore...naked...."
    --
Madame Pomfrey sniffed. "Yes, Potter, you have hogwarts, and I have to report it to the Ministry of Public Health. And stay away from those Slytherin girls in the future!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Stuff left out of Harry Potter
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Jul 03 - 01:13 PM

Bratling is very upset that I won't let her read this!!!

LTS


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