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The silliest complaint you've gotten

Marion 29 Jul 02 - 02:30 AM
Genie 29 Jul 02 - 02:58 AM
Clinton Hammond 29 Jul 02 - 03:53 AM
SeanM 29 Jul 02 - 05:05 AM
kendall 29 Jul 02 - 07:08 AM
Mooh 29 Jul 02 - 07:16 AM
EBarnacle1 29 Jul 02 - 11:44 AM
Pete Jennings 29 Jul 02 - 12:14 PM
Sorcha 29 Jul 02 - 12:16 PM
MMario 29 Jul 02 - 12:26 PM
allanwill 29 Jul 02 - 12:48 PM
Catherine Jayne 29 Jul 02 - 01:48 PM
GUEST,petr 29 Jul 02 - 01:55 PM
Sonnet 29 Jul 02 - 02:12 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 02 - 02:19 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 02 - 02:27 PM
Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull 29 Jul 02 - 02:27 PM
artbrooks 29 Jul 02 - 02:30 PM
andi 29 Jul 02 - 02:58 PM
Ebbie 29 Jul 02 - 03:08 PM
Genie 29 Jul 02 - 03:31 PM
M.Ted 29 Jul 02 - 04:48 PM
Kim C 29 Jul 02 - 05:15 PM
Genie 29 Jul 02 - 05:19 PM
SlickerBill 29 Jul 02 - 06:55 PM
Callie 29 Jul 02 - 09:28 PM
Mudlark 29 Jul 02 - 09:47 PM
nager 29 Jul 02 - 10:19 PM
GUEST,Phil Cooper 29 Jul 02 - 10:20 PM
Genie 29 Jul 02 - 10:21 PM
Genie 29 Jul 02 - 10:32 PM
Liz the Squeak 30 Jul 02 - 01:35 AM
Melani 30 Jul 02 - 02:16 AM
Blackcatter 30 Jul 02 - 02:17 AM
Phil Cooper 30 Jul 02 - 04:26 PM
Mooh 30 Jul 02 - 04:59 PM
nager 30 Jul 02 - 07:00 PM
SINSULL 30 Jul 02 - 07:14 PM
Phil Cooper 30 Jul 02 - 09:56 PM
Genie 30 Jul 02 - 10:21 PM
dick greenhaus 30 Jul 02 - 10:43 PM
Blackcatter 31 Jul 02 - 01:23 AM
Genie 31 Jul 02 - 02:09 AM
Blackcatter 31 Jul 02 - 02:24 AM
GUEST 31 Jul 02 - 06:50 AM
GUEST,nobby 31 Jul 02 - 07:21 AM
CapriUni 31 Jul 02 - 08:47 AM
Don Firth 31 Jul 02 - 03:24 PM
Greenbeer 31 Jul 02 - 11:49 PM
Blackcatter 31 Jul 02 - 11:57 PM
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Subject: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Marion
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:30 AM

This thread is inspired by Genie, who in the nursing home thread said that she's had activity directors complain when she sang songs that mentioned death.

Here's mine:

At one time I worked as an English teacher in the Islamic School of Toronto; it was a small private school for the children of Iranian grad students, where the mothers shared the teaching of all the classes but English. It was a conservative religious atmosphere - the girls were veiled from about age 8 and up, and there were 4 pictures of Ayatollah Khomeini up on my classroom walls.

Although I didn't wear a veil I managed to get along without too much culture/religion clash until I decided to teach a song: You Are My Sunshine. I only gave them the chorus, not (thank God) the "as I lay sleeping I dreamt I held you in my arms" bit. Nonetheless, I got a call from one of the fathers to say that my love song wasn't appropriate for children.

That was quite a surprise - what's more innocent than You Are My Sunshine? Anyway, I just hope the kids remember me as the teacher that taught them dirty songs.

Marion


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Genie
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:58 AM

LOL, Marion. Ya gotta watch those bawdy ballads!

Re "nursing homes," though, my stupidest complaint (lamest excuse for a new activity director not rebooking me) was one where, after a program that was booked as a 1-hour program and for which she was present in the room for the whole program, the activity director said that I "played too long and (my amplifier was) too loud!

Genie


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 03:53 AM

The occasional people in my crowds who seem to take it as a personal affront that I don't know the song they're requesting...

Or when I say I don't like the song they're requesting, and so don't play it...

Since when is personal preference a slight against others???

Those are the people who make my head spin...


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: SeanM
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 05:05 AM

Yup. I'm with Clinton - people getting upset that the band didn't know a song they wanted.

Worked in an Old West themed comedy/music group. Had an older woman become very upset that we didn't know "The Flying Cloud". I *vaguely* know it, but it's really not a shanty I like - not my particular taste in them. Most of the rest of the group didn't even know THAT much about it. They specialized in western folk, jazz and the like.

*shrugs* Whaddaya gonna do?

M


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: kendall
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 07:08 AM

C.H. Tact is only noticed when it is missing.*bg*


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Mooh
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 07:16 AM

Sometimes it seems that one can't be a guitarist without being a singer. I am both but I don't pretend to be a singing entertainer, even though I will, once in a while, do just that. I can't sing 4 sets of pub songs from heart, and I don't want to.

"You sing in a celtic band [well, no] and don't know Black Velvet Band?" Yeah, well, EVERYONE knows BVB I suppose, but that doesn't mean we have to play what we don't like. Along with that other cliche, Danny Boy, I just don't wanna play it. Especially if one considers that many people's tastes in such things run to maudlin.

Oh well.


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 11:44 AM

I recently did a nursing home gig of Liar's Bench tales. The booker was of mixed opinion about my set. She said as I left that they had never heard so much material from the residents and was pleased at how engaged they were but I was supposed to be telling stories for the whole hour.

Well, I hope the real audience enjoyed themselves.


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 12:14 PM

Bloke in a pub once complained that I didn't play (Bert Jansch's) Strolling Down the Highway "like Bert".

If only.

Pete


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Sorcha
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 12:16 PM

A drunk cowboy once told us that "them bells is too loud".....we don't have any "bells" and it took us forever to figure out that he was talking about the tambourine lying on the wash-tub bass soundboard.


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: MMario
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 12:26 PM

not music - but I'm spending my weekends running an archery booth - targets are painted on a wall constructed of "hay" bales (actually straw)- about 35 feet from the line where people are shooting.

We have had people manage to drive the arrows through the hay AND the plank backboards using the childrens toy bows (about a 2 or 3 pound draw). Yet we get complaints and gripes (every day) such as:

"Don't you have any arrows with hunting points?" (answer - Sir - it's hay, and it's tied down!)

"Don't you have any heavier bows? I usually use a 60 lb compound." (answer - sir - it's hay - and only 35 feet away.)

"Don't you have any bows with Laser sights?" (answer - NO. (please - this is a renaissance faire. they want laser sights on their bow? Do they have any idea where they even ARE????))


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: allanwill
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 12:48 PM

Worked in the Public Service a lifetime ago. Had to write to a guy, who was applying for a licence, that I needed more information before I could process his application. No word for a couple of weeks then I got a phone call from him, very agitated, screaming "where's my licence - I sent the info. you wanted". So I checked and double checked, but had definitely not received it and so I told him.

"Well why didn't you write to me to tell me you hadn't received it?"

Now why didn't I think of that?

Allan


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 01:48 PM

I was playing in a youth orchestra chrarity fund raiser and I have never worn shoes when performing but black socks well it was Christmas so I decided to wear christmas themed socks. Everyone saw the funny side, even the conductor but my Grandma was sat on the front row and when we got to the interval she told me she wasn't enjoying it because of my socks!!!!! They were clean, but just to please my grandma I changed into a black pair!

cat


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 01:55 PM

one of my friends who plays in a harp and flute duo did an audition for a wedding gig. The first thing the bride-tobe wanted to know was what they would be wearing and how old the fluteplayer was (as she didnt want any pictures of old people at her wedding). THey played some tunes for her at the end of which she asked the flute player if she 'has to breathe like that!'. They told her to get stuffed. (wonder what she's going to do when she hits 40). petr


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Sonnet
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:12 PM

Another non-music one....It had been school photos. Several days after I'd handed them out to my class of eight and nine year olds, payment was trickling in, and one or two had been returned. One came back with an acompanying note.

"Our Jonathan wasn't sitting up straight on his chair. Please can you do something about it?"

Everybody knows that all teachers perform miracles on a daily basis!!! I twisted the photo in its mount, and hey presto, there was "our Jonathan" sitting to attention like a good 'un. Home went the photo again at hometime, and in came the money the following day!

Jay


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:19 PM

Well, I am reminded of some incidents back when I worked at a gas station. For instance, we were giving out a free decorated plastic glass to anyone who bought 10 liters or more of gas. I had several boxes of these glasses, but finally ran out of them one morning. Just after I did, a fat guy in a business suit, driving a cadillac, pulled up and put $20 worth of gas in his tank. He bounded into the kiosk with a big smile and said "Where's my free glass!"

His jaw dropped like a rock when I sadly told him we were all out of them. You'd have thought the world had ended. I almost thought he was going to start crying...

"But..." he stammered, "I'm supposed to get a free glass with my fill-up!"

"Yes, I know," I replied apologetically, "but I just ran out of them before you got here. They're all gone.

"How can they be GONE?" he demanded.

"Well, other people took them all. See, here's the box they were in..." I showed him the empty box with the nice picture of the free decorated plastic glass on the side of it.

"But it says on the signs that I get a free glass..." he said, pointing helplessly at several promotional signs outside by the pumps.

"Yes, I didn't have time to take the signs down before you arrived. The last glass was taken just before you got here."

He was now hyperventilating and his face was getting kind of mottled looking...

"Look," I said..."maybe we'll get some more in. I could save one for you for the next time you come by."

"I can't do that," he protested. "I'm visiting from New York State, and I won't be back this way again."

"I see. Well, then, I don't know what I can do for you," I shrugged.

He stared blankly at me for a few seconds, and then gasped the words I shall never forget...

"WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???"

It was too much for me to resist..."It means you're NOT getting a free glass," I replied calmly, without rancour.

"UNBELIEVABLE!!!" He declared, throwing a 20$ bill on the counter and storming out the door. He peeled out in a cloud of dust, heading for New York State and I never saw him again.

This society is far too much into instant gratification, if you ask me... :-)

- LH


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:27 PM

And the friggin' glass was worth maybe 25 cents...if that.

- LH


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:27 PM

LH-You should have taken his name and a dress, and sent him one!


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: artbrooks
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:30 PM

Unless the guy was slightly unusual, what would he have done with a dress?


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: andi
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:58 PM

I work as a phone tech support agent for an international (US BASED) ISP and about 3 or 4 times a week we get calls from Canada, usually a very welcome relief but there are those.... Routinely I am told by Newfoundlanders that I " need to loose mu accent before coming to work in their country" several ahve gone to the extreem of suggesting speech lessons. Because there are no accents in Newfoundland, don't you know ;) take care and have fun andi


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Ebbie
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 03:08 PM

A tourist was overheard complaining that a glacier was too dirty, that "you'd think they'd clean it up before the season began." Not a clue that the "dirt" is boulders and sand that the glacier picks up in its slow travels, that the glacier is a mile away and that the face of the glacier is at least a mile and a half wide. (A local artist then did a superimposed montage of a man busily pushing a vacuum cleaner across the glacier; the caption says: ALMOST READY FOR THE SEASON)


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Genie
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 03:31 PM

LOL, MMario, Ebbie!!

Allan, from "It's a long way to Tipperary," "Paddy wrote a letter to his darlin' Molly-o, 'Should you not receive this letter, write and tell me so."

LH, next time, just give the guy the quarter. You never know, he might take a fence at being asked for name and a dress. *G*

A point of clarification re my tale about being told I "played too long:" I was booked to play 1 hour and I began and ended my program within the hour. (Yes, an hour may be too long for a program in some assisted living facilities, but then why do A. D.s insist on booking 1-hour programs?)

Genie


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: M.Ted
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 04:48 PM

Once, I was in a 4-piece dance combo that played Cocktail Jazz and a little bit of Motown for banquets and office holiday parties(back when people hired bands instead of DJ's)--Ten minutes into our first set at a catered B'day party, the host's girlfriend stopped us because she couldn't dance to our music--"What do you like to dance to?" "The Rolling Stones", so the dutiful boyfriend slapped on "Goatshead Soup" or somesuch thing, paid us off, and told us to leave--

Genie: Had the same experience, and was told that the music was an hour on the schedule: twenty minutes to get everyone in, twenty minutes of entertainment, and twenty minutes to get everyone back--


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Kim C
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 05:15 PM

Once, when I worked at an ice cream store, a man and his wife wanted their money back for two half-eaten (yes, I said Half-Eaten) ice cream sundaes because they decided, Halfway into it, that they were too small for the money, even though the prices (and descriptions) were clearly posted...


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Genie
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 05:19 PM

Well, Ted, that's what made that A.D.'s complaint so silly* --during the hour I was there in their living room, I probably played and sang for no more than 45 or 50 minutes, and residents were coming and going, casually, during the hour. No one needed to stay longer than they felt inclined to.

Genie

*(Actually, I think it was more disingenuous than silly. Apparently, one resident did make that comment to her, but this AD had been rather rude to me from my first meeting with her --by phone--when she took over for the one who had booked me. I think she just wanted to bring in her old regulars from a previous facility.)


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: SlickerBill
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 06:55 PM

I was doing a set with a band one time, and was getting nothing of my voice in the monitors, and later I was told, nothing much in the mains. I kept asking for some vocal in the monitor, but the sound guy appeared helpless. After the set I mentioned it to the sound guy, and he says "your voice is too "low" (as in pitch). You need to sing "higher" to come through the system well." This is a system with a 32 band eq, mind you . Later I checked the eq; bottom end, about 7 - 10 bands worth, all notched out. sb


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Callie
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 09:28 PM

I've been laughing myself silly over these!

Here's one from last night.

In the midst of teaching the choir a new song, i noticed one of the tenors mispronouncing the word "clarity" from the sheet music. He was singing "charity".

So I pointed out that the word was "CLARITY".

He got defensive: "How do you KNOW it's "clarity" and not "charity"?

Replied I (exploding with laughter on the inside, but appearing clam and patient on the outside): because it has an "L", not an "H".

Still howling!

Callie


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Mudlark
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 09:47 PM

Not musical, not a complaint, so a bit of a thread drift but..the weirdest question I ever heard: potter friend giving demonstration at a craft fair, throwing on the wheel, talking his way thru the centering of the clay, pulling up the walls of the pot, etc. etc. to the final lifting of the pot off the wheel head. Amid the admiring murmurs came a question from a woman who had been following it all very closely: "Yes, I see," she said, "but why do you make the wheel go around?"

Dumbfounded, but with great aplomb he answered, "Well, because it's easier than running around the pot."


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: nager
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 10:19 PM

When a friend and myself entertained at a nursing home a few years ago we were warned by the AD that at least half the people in the hall were very hard of hearing. So we decided to use our amplifier and a couple of mikes to help our acoustic sound along a bit for them. Trouble was the staff sat all the deaf people at the back and those with adequate hearing at the front. We got complaints all afternoon with oldies calling out "It's too loud!!" or "We can't hear!!".


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: GUEST,Phil Cooper
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 10:20 PM

Hey, too lazy to reset my cookie. But, the weirdest complaint we got was one festival booking where Margaret and I sang Susan Urban's song "Da Co-dependent Polka." Someone was not amused and told us so after our set. I decided to take a survey as we walked up to the ice cream vendor in the back of the outdoor auditorium. The next ten people who talked to us enjoyed the set, and several mentioned that same song. Of course, it's the complaint that we remember on an emotional level, not the ten compliments that followed.


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Genie
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 10:21 PM

Callie, HOH! ;-)


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Genie
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 10:32 PM

Ah, Mudlark, that pottery question reminds me of some "lightbulb changing" jokes I know! LOL!

Nager, it's one of Murphy's Laws in residences for the elderly that the person with the most hypersensitive ears and/or the most overpowered hearing aid will be sat next to the amplifier in the dining room! This ensures that this person will constantly complain about the music being too loud, while most of the others complain that they cannot hear it!


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 01:35 AM

After a sponsored sing that lasted 40 hours from 7.00pm Friday night to 11.00am Sunday morning, non stop, we finished with the Hallelujah chorus, stopped, got changed and went to don our robes for service.

After the service, one of the regulars who knew what we were doing and had been feeding us with sandwiches and coffee all weekend, complained bitterly that the anthem (Hallelujah) was not of it's usual standard that morning.... Sheesh!!! What did she want, blood?

LTS


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Melani
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 02:16 AM

Singing chanties with a group of 4th-graders aboard a square-rigger, the education officer told me I couldn't sing any more because I sing "too pretty". Sort of a left-handed compliment, I guess. I was also told that their criteria for kid's chanties were "no bad words (of course!), no drinking, and no splicing Sally Brown." So what's left? Then the first mate requested a favorite, with all unsuitable material removed, and they said no to that as well. The mate said to me, "Sorry, I didn't know the Chantey Police were on board!"


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Blackcatter
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 02:17 AM

Greetings all,

As a point, I rarely sing Danny Boy on stage, mostly because it just encourages all the people ignorant of Irish music to call out all the other 3 Irish songs they know.

I did, however sing it at the funeral of the mother of one of my old high school friends - a lady in who's house I spent many a night and who really loved my singing. Her husband requested that I sing it, because it had been one of her favorites.

After the funeral, someone actually came up to me and told me that I should have sung something "more appropriate." (I guess, "Bloody Well Dead" - perhaps?)

Now, how many other people have gotten complaints for SINGING Danny Boy?


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 04:26 PM

Blackcatter,

I know what you mean about "Danny Boy." I don't sing it, but play it as an instrumental on the Bowed psaltery, usually in nursing homes. Margaret and I were playing for patients on an AIDS ward in Chicago in the late '80's. Someone, bedridden and probably within days or hours of dying, asked if we could play Danny Boy. I told him I couldn't sing the words but would be glad to play the tune for him. After I finished, he said "I would clap, but I don't have the strength." I know it's easy to make fun of Danny Boy, but I haven't viewed the tune/song the same way since. Forgive the thread drift.


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Mooh
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 04:59 PM

Phil, you're forgiven. Since I think it was my post which first mentioned Danny Boy, and not exactly in a favourable tone, I will also admit to playing it with one singer who really CAN pull it off. Normally I avoid it altogether, but this singer, trained formally, classically, with a degree even, has had her experience almost fully in the folk world. She has the pipes calling alright, but knows too how to interpret the song. I don't find this as the norm.

One lovely little church parish I know likes the tune as a hymn, as is common, but it just sends me to hysterics when I hear the whole church full swooping pitch and dragging the beat, not in any kind of unison, never mind discernable harmony.

My complaint?

People who request the same song over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...even if it was just played. Since this has been the case with Danny Boy, I guess that's why I bristle at it so much.

Peace, Mooh.


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: nager
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 07:00 PM

Still off thread... but.. Have you seen the one hour TV documentary (from UK I think) on Danny Boy. Watched it out of total curiosity. How they could make a one hour doco on one tune/song? It was actually brilliant.. heaps of well known singers and musicians doing their differing versions of it including Eric Clapton.The greatest moment for me was a 50 plus Marianne Faithfull doing her version.. had to be heard to be believed... those who have seen it will know what I mean! Quintessential.


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 07:14 PM

Sinead O'Connor did a version too, I think. The show was brilliant.


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 09:56 PM

Thanks, Mooh (see you at the festival). Getting back to complaints, I was playing a rare solo gig years ago in a bar. There was a bachelor party deciding to pass out "novelty" gifts right in front. The future groom kept asking if I could play any Simon & Garfunkle. I didn't/don't know any and had yet to learn the trick of playing something else and claiming it was off a bootleg album. About every 20 minutes I would hear, "is he going to play any Simon & Garfunkle, or what?" Seventh or eighth time I heard this I said, "I don't know any f----Simon & Garfunkle, otherwise I would have played it a long time ago." To parphrase Richard Thompson, I was drinking more in those days....


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Genie
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 10:21 PM

nager, -- What? No version of Cher doing Danny Boy (the song, that is)?

Phil, in a vein similar to your post, I often have folks give me a request such as "Play a Patsy Cline song." Then I sing, say, "I Fall To Pieces," and they say, "No, that's not it." (They wanted "Crazy" or "Walking After Midnight" or some other specific song.) Occasionally, I've gone through 2 or three "Patsy Cline" (or "Elvis Presley," or "Frank Sinatra," or "John Denver", etc.) songs with the requester still saying, "No, that's not it."


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 10:43 PM

After 14 years of managing The Digital Tradition, I find that I can't make a choice (though I'm partial to the person who complained bitterly that she couldn't find "THe Skyboat Song.)


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Blackcatter
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 01:23 AM

Dick,

To me that's still one of the most incredible things I see around here after nearly 4 years of off & on visits. All the people who start threads for a song that is easily found in the DT.

I run a website that is comprised of the lyrics of TV Themes. On the site I clearly state that all the songs I know are on the site, but I would welcome suggestions of songs I don't have, especially if someone has the actual lyrics.

What I get instead is people asking me for a song that's not listed on the site (once again, if I know the song, its on the site), or even better yet, requests for tv themes that I know damn well are only instrumentals.

Recently someone asked if I knew the TV show that went with the lyrics:
Would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar."

When I told the lady I did not know if that song was used as a theme and told her it was actually a famous song usually associated with Bing Crosby - she disagreed with me! She said it was from a show in the 90s, but she couldn't tell me anything about the show to help place it.

pax yall


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Genie
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 02:09 AM

Well, Blackcatter, last week a resident at an assisted living residence where I was playing was quite disappointed that I didn't know how to sing Franz Liszt's "Liebestraum." I'm virtually certain there are no official lyrics to this piece, and if someone wrote some later, there may be dozens of alternate lyrics available.


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Blackcatter
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 02:24 AM

At some point some one will expect me to put even the unauthorized lyrics of Liebestraum on my site because they thought they heard it on a tv show.

I've already had people who have written a parody of a tv theme & ask me to put it on the site. I have yet to receive one that is witty and isn't full of vugarity. So I usually tell them about the Mudcat and that this is the forum they seek...


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 06:50 AM

Back to Danny Boy momentarily - best version in my opinion is Jackie Wilson's.


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: GUEST,nobby
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 07:21 AM

I managed a golf course for some five years. Golfers must be the crazziest people on the planet.

I have lots of stories but the best complaint.....

I was sitting in my office when a regular golfer burst in smashing the door against the wall in a fit of rage. He bellowed " THE GRASS IS THE WRONG COLOUR" and then stormed out.


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: CapriUni
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 08:47 AM

nobby --

I guess he was used to seeing that flat color of green you see for televised golf tournamentsr (never mind that in order to get it that way, they have to use enough water, fertilizer and insecticide to supply the agricultural needs of a small county)...

Either that, or he needs to adjust the color control on his TV set...


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Don Firth
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 03:24 PM

Neither musical or particularly funny, but about fifteen years ago I was working as a technical writer for the Bonneville Power Administration (same outfit Woody Guthrie wrote some songs for—Aha! There's the musical connection!).

On my handy-dandy Tom Swift electric computer, I whipped out a six-page report on a group of residential weatherization inspections and submitted it to Ms. Hickey upstairs as I did several times a week. It was a mess of governmentese and statistical tables (which on one occasion I tried to edit into readable English and got my hand slapped for the effort). Several hours later, I got the report back—all six pages. Ms. Hickey had marked all over each page, but she only wanted me to make one change. Change a semicolon to a comma. I pulled it up, made the change, and printed off a fresh copy—all six pages as she requested, and sent it up to her. The following morning the report was back on my desk again, all marked up and with a note saying that she had decided that the comma turned it into a run-on sentence (at one time she had been a high school English teacher) and wanted it changed back to a semicolon. And please print out a fresh copy. The whole thing. I did as I was bid. Several hours later, back it comes. To make a long and silly story short, it came back twice more for the same flip-flop, complete with a fresh printout of all six pages each time. I think the only reason it finally disappeared was that the report was due and she had to turn it in to the Powers That Be.

This sound like one of those apocryphal stories, but so help me God, it really happened! I have witnesses.

Four thoughts:—
1. For some strange reason, we tended to refer to her as "Picky Hickey."
2. As a general rule, all the Powers That Be really wanted was the first paragraph and one statistical table (most of the rest of it was boilerplate).
3. Where is that paperless office we kept hearing so much about?
4. Throughout her career, how many trees is Ms. Hickey personally responsible for murdering?

Your tax dollars at work.

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Greenbeer
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 11:49 PM

Hey Genie,

When it comes to Patsy Cline songs, the one that has come comes to my mind lately is "Get it Over"... you know, "hurt me now, get it over" and all that. Don't know why I am telling you this, guess it's just i can imagine really wanting to hear it when suffering from or recalling heartbreak (not that I've ever experienced anything like that!...lol)

greenbeer


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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten
From: Blackcatter
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 11:57 PM

Speaking of paperless office (and reinforcing a serious thread-drift):

I worked as Precinct Manager in Orange County Florida for the 1994 elections. Part of my job was to hire over 1000 people to work for 3 days - once in Sept, once in Oct, & once in Nov. To do this I needed to see who worked in previous years to see if they were available.

At the time, Orange County had state-of-the-art vote tabulating machines (as they still do - our county wasn't involved in that whole "hanging-chad" thing 2 years ago), but their voter registration database (and my employee database) was a shareware program designed 8 years before.

I asked our computer department to print me the files of everyone who had worked the previous election. They couldn't select out those who did from those who worked other elections in the past, so they printed out EVERY file on an individual piece of paper - all 19,000 of them. They actually expected me to go through them all to find the records I needed.

pax yall


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