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Double Entendre Anyone?

DigiTrad:
A CLEAN SONG
BANG BANG LULU
SHAVING CREAM
SHINE YOUR BUTTONS WITH BRASSO
SWEET VIOLETS
SWEET VIOLETS 2
SWEET VIOLETS 3


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(origins) Lyr Req: Sweet Violets (53)
(origins) Origins: George Washington Was a Nice Young Man (5)
Mein Farter's ein lavatory attendant (6)
Lyr Add: The Gruen Watch Song (18)
'Teasing' songs (43)
Lyr Req: Innocent Song turns Bawdy (11)
Lyr Req: 'a baby fell out of the...'/Shaving Cream (12)
Lyr Req: The Farmer / Sweet Violets (4) (closed)
(origins) Origins: Shaving Cream/Shaving Creme (9)
Review: Bang Bang Lulu? For Kids? (5)
BS: Toilet humour??? (83) (closed)
Lyr Req: Sweet Violets (6) (closed)


Mrrzy 06 Aug 19 - 11:16 PM
FreddyHeadey 04 Aug 19 - 07:30 PM
Mrrzy 04 Aug 19 - 07:13 PM
Steve Gardham 03 Aug 19 - 03:46 PM
Mrrzy 03 Aug 19 - 10:00 AM
GUEST,Sol 01 Aug 19 - 02:25 PM
GUEST,David Dana-Bashian 01 Aug 19 - 12:18 PM
MorwenEdhelwen1 22 Apr 11 - 04:57 AM
GUEST,Tise Tobin 06 May 09 - 05:51 PM
Genie 23 Jul 08 - 04:35 AM
Joe_F 22 Jul 08 - 08:22 PM
Alan Day 22 Jul 08 - 02:51 PM
Georgiansilver 22 Jul 08 - 02:05 PM
GUEST,Pisces 22 Jul 08 - 12:44 PM
quokka 22 Jul 08 - 12:37 PM
Folkiedave 22 Jul 08 - 11:20 AM
Bryn Pugh 22 Jul 08 - 10:56 AM
Snufkin 22 Jul 08 - 12:14 AM
Fiolar 24 Mar 07 - 10:07 AM
GUEST,Eternal Youth 23 Mar 07 - 11:10 AM
Leadfingers 23 Mar 07 - 10:15 AM
GUEST,Bardan 23 Mar 07 - 12:01 AM
Tradsinger 22 Mar 07 - 06:16 PM
Bainbo 21 Mar 07 - 08:00 PM
GUEST,Nicholas Waller 21 Mar 07 - 06:58 PM
GUEST,Guest 21 Mar 07 - 05:01 PM
GUEST,Cragrat 21 Mar 07 - 02:11 PM
SouthernCelt 21 Mar 07 - 01:54 PM
GUEST,savage 21 Mar 07 - 12:17 PM
eddie1 21 Oct 06 - 04:07 AM
GUEST,Tanyer 21 Oct 06 - 02:18 AM
Snuffy 21 Mar 05 - 07:22 PM
GUEST,Rootbager@aol.com 21 Mar 05 - 07:17 AM
Don(Wyziwyg)T 05 Mar 05 - 04:36 AM
Folkiedave 04 Mar 05 - 03:16 PM
Tannywheeler 04 Mar 05 - 02:18 PM
Tradsinger 04 Mar 05 - 02:37 AM
Mrrzy 03 Mar 05 - 07:42 PM
Chris Green 03 Mar 05 - 06:46 PM
GUEST,Dr. Phil E. Blunt 03 Mar 05 - 06:33 PM
Flash Company 30 Jan 05 - 10:29 AM
Don(Wyziwyg)T 30 Jan 05 - 08:52 AM
Don(Wyziwyg)T 30 Jan 05 - 07:14 AM
Rootbager@aol.com 30 Jan 05 - 04:32 AM
Trevor 22 Oct 04 - 06:25 AM
Joe_F 21 Oct 04 - 10:09 PM
Flash Company 21 Oct 04 - 09:37 AM
Rootbager@aol.com 21 Oct 04 - 08:37 AM
John M. 23 Sep 04 - 01:46 PM
frogprince 23 Sep 04 - 01:07 PM
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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Aug 19 - 11:16 PM

What's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ.


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: FreddyHeadey
Date: 04 Aug 19 - 07:30 PM

At choir practice couple of months ago the 'mistress' asked
"Now, basses, would you like me to beat your parts out on my organ?"


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Aug 19 - 07:13 PM

A double entendre IS a pun, but not all puns are double entendres. If that is the plural...


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 03 Aug 19 - 03:46 PM

Most of these posts refer to 'puns' not 'double entendres' with a few other things thrown in. Quite entertaining but a dictionary wouldn't go amiss.

Double Pedant!


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Aug 19 - 10:00 AM

I read once of a drunken musician saying that syncopation was an uneven movement from bar to bar...


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: GUEST,Sol
Date: 01 Aug 19 - 02:25 PM

Re. earlier posts about Max Miller & the Beeb ban. I think it was Max Wall who was banned by the BBC for telling a similar joke about meeting a young lady on a log while crossing a river. He didn't know whether to ....etc. IIRC, he told it on a lunchtime radio show called "Workers Playtime". Unbeknownst to him, he was still On Air.


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: GUEST,David Dana-Bashian
Date: 01 Aug 19 - 12:18 PM

Although Alex Hassilev received the writing credit on the 1963 live album "Our Men in San Francisco", the lyrics to "á làuberge de l'écu" (in English, "At the Buckler's Inn") apparently largely anticipated the lyrics to "The Lute Player". If so, then, by today's standard, the lyrics are tame. See https://lyricstranslate.com/en/%C3%A1-l%C3%A0uberge-de-l%C3%A9cu-bucklers-inn.html .


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: MorwenEdhelwen1
Date: 22 Apr 11 - 04:57 AM

Four words. "My Donkey Want Water."


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: GUEST,Tise Tobin
Date: 06 May 09 - 05:51 PM

Pete credits his friend "Joe" with the authorship of the song, and I believe the woman's name is Molly, but I'm grateful to you 'cause you got down the words I had forgotten!

The song was part of a Folk Alley stream for Pete's 90th birthday, if you care to hear it.


http://www.folkalley.com/archives/001122.php

Peace,
Tise


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Subject: Un Joueur Du Luth / The Lute Player
From: Genie
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 04:35 AM

The Limeliters ("Our Men In San Francisco") did a song called "Le Joueur du Luth" (The Lute Player), which is entirely double entendre.

I can't find the lyrics on line, but I'd love to have them! They are in both English and French.

The story of the song is that a young lute player advertises "lute playing lessons" and becomes a sensation, with many a young lass beating a path to his door to, um, "learn to play." One day a much older lady comes to his door asking for "lute lessons," and he tells her that "you're too old to play this game." Whereupon she replies, "I've been playing this game for 60 years -- and there's no substitute for experience!"

Anybody got the lyrics?

G


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Joe_F
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 08:22 PM

If you were at the end of a pier and a suicidal young lady came bearing down on you, would you toss yourself off or obstruct her passage?

Further Old King Cole stanzas:

...painters...brush...slap it up & down, up & down...
...tailors...needle...stick it in & out, in & out...
...baker...tart...fill that tart with cream...
...butchers...block...slap your meat on the block...
Fiddle-de-fiddle-de-dee, said the fiddlers,
Merry, merry men are we!
There's none so fair as can compare
With the boys of the varsity.

One might also note a stanza in "My God, How the Money Rolls In":

My uncle makes big tallow candles
Of wax that is specially soft.
He says they may come in quite handy
If ever his business drops off.

Cf.

If you should wed a businessman, be wary, O be wary!
He'll say he has to stay in town on business necessary.
His business is the business that he gives his secretary.
Oh, I hate men! -- "Kiss Me, Kate"


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Alan Day
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 02:51 PM

I've got a Woodpecker on my nuts.
Al


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 02:05 PM

I really love driving down country lanes in the Summer and seeing all the young couples on the verge !!

I once took my girlfriend out into the fog and mist !!!


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: GUEST,Pisces
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 12:44 PM

And what about the policeman who summons a lady for questioning with a moving crook'd finger. Then said, "I knew you would come on my finger."

Or the girl who is about to get unwanted sex and says. " No, Dont, Stop. No dont, stop. No, dont stop.".............


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: quokka
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 12:37 PM

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the Woody Guthrie song
"Walt Whitman's Niece" - words by Woody (1946) music by Billy Bragg,(1997) from the album Mermaid Avenue:

Last night or the night before that
I won't say which night
A seaman friend of mine
I'll not say which seaman
Walked up to a big old building
I won't say which building
And would not have walked up the stairs
Not to say which stairs
If there had not have been two girls
Leaving out the names of those two girls

I recall a door, a big long room
I'll not tell which room
I remember a deep blue rug
But I can't say which rug
A girl took down a book of poems
not to say which book of poems
And as she read, I laid my head
and I can't tell which head
Down in her lap
and I can't mention which lap

My seaman buddy and girl moved off
After a couple of pages and there I was
All night long, laying and listening
And forgetting the poems
And as well as I could recall
Or my seaman buddy could recollect
My girl had told us that she was a niece
of Walt Whitman, but not which niece

And it takes a night and a girl
and a book of this kind
A long long way to find its way back

Sleeve notes say Woody wrote this in 1946 - pretty explicit for the time, I think! Now just to figure out if it was a twosome, a threesome or a foursome!

Cheers,
Quokka


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Folkiedave
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 11:20 AM

Too much thread to read.

Roy Bailey's goodnight wish for many years.....


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 10:56 AM

Confucius he say : man with big balls had no toys as a child.

What about "Old King Cole" ?

He called for his pipe and he called for his bowl
And he called for his jugglers three.

Every Juggler had a fine pair of balls
And a fine pair of balls had he -
Oh ! Throw your balls in the air, said the jugglers . . .

Coalmen three : Would you like it a the front or the back, said the coalmen . . .

Lots more where they came from !


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Snufkin
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 12:14 AM

What about The Game of All Fours, sung by (among others) Maddy Prior and Kate Rusby? The whole thing is pretty much a double entendre, but here are a few verses from Rusby's version:

We hadn't been walking a few miles together,
Before this young damsel began to show free,
She sat herself down, saying "Sit down beside me,
The game we shall play will be one, two and three."

I said, My dear lady if you're fond of the gaming,
There's one game I know I would like you to learn,
The game it is called The Game Of All Fours,"
So I took out my pack and began the first turn.

She cut the cards and I fell a dealing,
I dealt her a trump and myself the poor Jack,
She led off her ace and stole the Jack from me,
Saying, "Jack is the card I like best in your pack.

"I dealt the last time; its your turn to shuffle,
My turn to show the best card in the pack,"
Once more she'd the ace and stole the Jack from me,
Once more I lost when I laid down poor Jack.

So I took up my hat and I bid her good morning,
I said, You're the best that I know at this game."
She answered, "Young man, come back tomorrow,
We'll play the game over and over and over and over and over again"


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Fiolar
Date: 24 Mar 07 - 10:07 AM

Eternal Youth: That wasn't Tommy Cooper. It was actually Max Miller one of the great musical hall entertainers.


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: GUEST,Eternal Youth
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 11:10 AM

Tommy Cooper, a British comedian, got into a lot of trouble with the BBC censors, with this one:

"I was walking along a narrow bridge, and I saw this naked woman standing in front of me. I didn't know whether to block her passage or toss myself off"


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 10:15 AM

200 !!


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: GUEST,Bardan
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 12:01 AM

The one I always remember is in all the Christmas services where Mary asks the angel how she'll bear a child since she's a virgin and the angel goes "the holy spirit will come upon you". You could always rely on one or two sniggers at school.


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Tradsinger
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 06:16 PM

A woman walks into a bar and says 'I'd like a double entendre', so the barman gave her one.


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Bainbo
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 08:00 PM

Recorded by Ska Cubano, The Jolly Boys, and several older distinguished calypsonians:

I asked my woman what should I do
To make her happy and to keep her true
All she said that I need from you
Is a little tiny piece of the big bamboo

Chorus:
The big bamboo, it grows good and strong,
The big bamboo, it grows good and long
Big bamboo stands up straight and tall
And the big bamboo pleases one and all

I gave my girl a banana plant
She said my friend this is elegant
It's much too nice to go to waste
But much to soft to suit my taste

Chorus

I gave my girl a sugarcane
Sweetness is sweet, I did explain
She gave it back to my surprise
She like the flavour but not the size.

Chorus

I gave my girl a coconut
She said my friend this is OK but
There's only one thing that worries me:
What good is the nut without the tree?

Chorus

I met a Chinaman named Dick Hung Lo
He got married in Mexico.
His wife divorced him pretty quick -
She liked bamboo, but not chopstick


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: GUEST,Nicholas Waller
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 06:58 PM

People above mentioned Round the Horne, the mid-1960s BBC Radio series, which included Julian and Sandy as a couple of camp homosexual characters when homosexuality was still illegal in the UK. In one sketch featuring them as lawyers:

HORNE: Will you take my case?
JULIAN: Well, it depends on what it is. We've got a Criminal Practice that takes up most of our time.


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 05:01 PM

Bob Hope also had a line that went:

"When I put my hands on my hips I feel crazy. When I put my hands in my pockets I feel nuts."

Think he got in trouble for that one.

Red Skelton said that when he was in vaudeville, they did a sketch where one of the women would lift her long skirt up to her ankle and say "It looks like rain"
To which he replied, "I'd like to see it clear up"
And they closed the show!


There was also the old joke that you could get Robin Hood by the bag and Aunt Jemima by the box


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: GUEST,Cragrat
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 02:11 PM

A few of my favouries:

Willie & the hand Jive (Various)

I Married the Moonshiner's daughter/And she made me liquor all night long (Hayseed Dixie)

When you're in love with a beautiful woman/It's hard (Dr Hook)

She was only an architect's daughter but she could spot a mighty erection!


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: SouthernCelt
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 01:54 PM

I have to tell this although it happened way back in the 60s. The famous-in-his-day Cardinals pitcher Dizzy Dean became a baseball broadcast commentator after his bb career. At a TV broadcast game in the 60s with the action even slower than normal on the diamond, the camera started wandering on the crowd settling on a young couple that were being somewhat amorous. Dizzy Dean and his broadcast partner (may have been PeeWee Reese) began to speculate about what was going on with the crowd being shown on the monitors in the broadcast booth. After each boring pitch on the field, the camera would return to the amorous couple in the stands. After two or three shots of the couple, Dizzy Dean said something to the effect of, "Hey, I've got them figured out; he kisses her on the strikes and she kisses him on the balls!"

A moment later the broadcast developed broadcast "difficulties" and following the game, Dean lost his job as announcer. It's still unknown whether he made the statement on purpose or just didn't think of how it sounded to those with dirtier minds. I don't think he ever had another nationally watched broadcast job.

SC


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: GUEST,savage
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 12:17 PM

liquor in the front, poker in the rear...


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: eddie1
Date: 21 Oct 06 - 04:07 AM

I was at a wedding in Scotland conducted by a fairly young, progressive Church of Scotland minister. I knew him pretty well from various committees. As used to be often the case, he was roped in to MC the speeches at the dinner afterwards and he came out with the golden oldie about, "An after-dinner speech should be like a miniskirt – long enough to cover the subject and short enough to be interesting!" This raised a few polite laughs although some of the older generation remained rather tight-lipped. He followed this up by saying, "Only last week I heard the naval definition of a miniskirt – one inch below sea-level! (c-level)" I guffawed and realised I was the only one laughing.
Although, as I said, I knew him fairly well, I never did have the courage to ask him if he knew what he was saying!

How about the chorus of the song "Dumbarton's Drums"

"Dumbarton's drums, they sound sae bonnie
And they remind me o' my Johnnie.
Such fond delights, they steal upon me,
When Johnnie comes and kisses me."

Someone decided to do a clean-up job on it and the last line became

"When Johnnie kneels and kisses me."

Better or worse?

Eddie


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: GUEST,Tanyer
Date: 21 Oct 06 - 02:18 AM

What is the difference between Lady Godiva & A Golf Game?

One is a hunt on a course....

Gwilym -- what songs are those music hall references from?


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Snuffy
Date: 21 Mar 05 - 07:22 PM

"Besides me dearest Willie, I am with child by thee"

Always killed me that that is just a "besides..." and the real reason is"my feet they are so tender..W


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: GUEST,Rootbager@aol.com
Date: 21 Mar 05 - 07:17 AM

What did Snow White say when whe took a roll of film in to get developed?

"Some day my PRINTS will come - - - "


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 05 Mar 05 - 04:36 AM

One of the many versions of "High Germany" produced my favourite.

"Besides me dearest Willie, I am with child by thee"

No surprises there then.......

Don T.


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Folkiedave
Date: 04 Mar 05 - 03:16 PM

Noel Murphy used to start his act with "May the lord have Murphy on you".

Dave Eyre


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 04 Mar 05 - 02:18 PM

None of the U.S. posters has mentioned the C & W song (I forget the artist, but a female) "I Want A Man With A Slow Hand".    Tw


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Tradsinger
Date: 04 Mar 05 - 02:37 AM

She was only the perfumier's daughter, but she couldn't leave the eau de cologne (old d... alone)

English music hall songs:

Put a bit of treacle on my pudding, Mary-Ann
Up went my little umbrella
Oh Timothy let's have a look at it
I'll be up her way next week:

The landlady of my boarding house, she fair gets on my nut
She's got a smoky chimney and a blocked-up chimney pot
She went around the corner to see a sweep she knew
She said 'Mr Sweep, will you sweep my flue?'
And the sweep replied 'Not now, but
I'll be up your way next week, I'll be up your way next week
I'm so busy with the neighbour's flue
I've only got one brush, I can't sweep two
In this sweeping business, we're really rather busy, so to speak
I'd be happy as a thrush if I had another brush
I'll be up your way next week.'

It's a good song. I'll be at Miskin, so I may whip it out there.

Gwilym


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 07:42 PM

One of my favorites is that in the US, "new directions" and "nude erections" are pronounced the same! Whenever anybody says Let's go into a new direction, or it's time for a new direction, or anything like that, it's all I can do not to crack up.
I worked at an answering service one of whose clients was New Directions for Men - I answered their phone Nude Erections for Men for years and nobody ever noticed!


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Chris Green
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 06:46 PM

We had a Home Economics teacher at school who must have had Max Miller as a scriptwriter. Two gems that I remember:

"Now next week we're going to be working with felt, which means you need to get your mums and dads to buy you some. I find the best place to get felt is the shop on the High Street."

Lacing a rather buxom sixth form girl into her bodice for the school play "Oh dear, I'll have let this out. It's a bit of a tit fight... erm, tight fit, isn't it?"

She was also responsible for, while trying to control a rather rowdy class, "Every time I open my mouth, some idiot speaks!"


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: GUEST,Dr. Phil E. Blunt
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 06:33 PM

You can walk into any of your local dirty burger joint and have a good laugh when you ask them to "Hold the Pickle"


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Flash Company
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 10:29 AM

Used to be a local Catholic minister at Hale (Cheshire) who was a very witty after dinner speaker.
He told a story about his early days in college when he was asked to preach at a service for the college rugby team. For reasons best known to himself, he chose as his text the parable of the wise and foolish virgins.
As he told it, he ended his homily with the rhetorical question, 'So, which would you prefer, the wise virgins in the light, or the foolish virgins in the dark?'
The vote was unanimous!

FC


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 08:52 AM

No urban myth about Max Miller, though he was not banned immediately by Aunty Beeb. I remember he used to ride the edge, until he couldn't resist any longer, and he would suddenly go off air, followed by an anouncer apologising for the technical hitch which is "beyond our control". Then, after a short silence, "We are now returning to the (whatever show it might be), and Max would be heard no more, that night.

They may have banned him later, because he did disappear from radio, or maybe he just got fed up being cut off. BTW, he did say in an interview, that he was proud never to have told a dirty joke in his life, he merely made comments and left it to the dirty minds of the audience to make the connection.

Don T.


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 07:14 AM

Firecat,

I'm not 100% certain but I seem to remember the "peace on you" sequence as happening between Sid James and Kenneth Williams in "Carry on up the Khyber", the title itself being also a goodish double e.

Don T.


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Rootbager@aol.com
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 04:32 AM

Not a word since October? What happened? Hello out there!!!!


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Trevor
Date: 22 Oct 04 - 06:25 AM

.....but man with two holes not feel too cocky.


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Joe_F
Date: 21 Oct 04 - 10:09 PM

Here's a song I wrote a while ago, that has a couple of double entendres in it:

ABSTRACT HORNY BLUES (1973)

standing on the porch at dawn
watching people's lights go on
wondering who's in bed there
thinking why in hell should i care
they can go blow a fuse
i've got those abstract horny blues

some people first thing in the day
look down their belly and pray
me when i go out to piss
i think what is all this
it's only meant to amuse
i've got those abstract horny blues

if i cared only for you
you'd be afraid i'd be true
but i don't care who you may be
so why should you care if it's me
i've got no self to abuse
i've got those abstract horny blues

i don't have the blues for fun
but when all is said and done
as long as you never go far
at least you know where you are
i've got a lot to lose
i've got those abstract horny blues


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Flash Company
Date: 21 Oct 04 - 09:37 AM

Mention of the immortal Kenneth Horne brings back so many memories!
Opening lines from announcer Wallace Greenslade
This Weeks Classic Movie...... A Journey into Space...... It was on the Planet Venus....
KH My word, you should have seen us!

FC


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: Rootbager@aol.com
Date: 21 Oct 04 - 08:37 AM

Not a word from anyone in almost amonth - what happened?


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: John M.
Date: 23 Sep 04 - 01:46 PM

Here are a couple of double entendre songs:


       Large Balls (aka Anthony Claire)
       Melody - ???

    Chorus:

       For they were large balls, large balls,
       Balls as heavy as lead.
       With a dexterous twist of his muscular wrist,
       He could flick them right over his head.
       (Be-doom, be-doom, be-doom, be-doom boom boom)

    Now, there once was a man called Anthony Clair
    He was a very fine jugulaire,
    There wasn't a man who could compare
    With the way he fiddled and played with his balls.

    Now, Anthony was walking down the street,
    Just by chance he happened to meet,
    A pretty young maid with a dog at her feet,
    Watching him fiddle and play with his balls.

    Now, Anthony swung 'em round and round,
    Let 'em go with a hell of a bound,
    Right on the head of the faithful hound,
    Watching him play with his balls.

    Now, the maiden, she was overwrought,
    Swore she'd take the case to court,
    For in her opinion no man ought
    To be twisting and playing with his balls.

    They took him to a magistrate,
    Who put him in a cell in state,
    And left him there to meditate,
    And fiddle and play with his balls.

    And when they took the case to court,
    The lawyer of the lady sought,
    To prove that Anthony shouldn't ought,
    To fiddle and play with his balls.

    The jury said, "It's a bloody disgrace,
    Exposing yourself in a public place,
    Playing with your balls in a lady's face,
    Twisting and playing with your balls."

    The judge and jury couldn't agree,
    And the judge said, "It's plain to see,
    And really and truly I cannot see,
    Why a man shouldn't play with his balls."

    And this is the moral of this song,
    If you play with your balls, you can't go wrong,
    So bang your balls against the gong,
    And fiddle and play with your balls.

Compare the above song with related double entendre song "Parties, Banquets & Balls" in the digital tradition database:

    Parties, Banquets and Balls

    Parties, banquets and balls, boys,
    Parties, banquets and balls,
    As President Roosevelt has said before,
    There's only one way to stay out of a war
    That's with parties, banquets and balls, boys,
    Parties, banquets and balls,
    We'll have parties and banquets,
    And banquets and parties
    And balls, balls, balls.

    tune: Take Me out to the Ball Game (chorus only)
    from There I Was, Flat on my Back, Stevens

Another extended version of this song can be found on Oscar Brand's Sing-Along Bawdy Songs & Backroom Ballads. Listen to a 35 second mp3 here:

       http://tinyurl.com/3sw49


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Subject: RE: Double Entendre Anyone?
From: frogprince
Date: 23 Sep 04 - 01:07 PM

Here's to the kisses I have snatched...


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