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What the worst song you ever heard !!!

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rock chick 07 Aug 01 - 03:35 PM
radriano 07 Aug 01 - 03:47 PM
rock chick 07 Aug 01 - 03:56 PM
radriano 07 Aug 01 - 04:02 PM
Clinton Hammond 07 Aug 01 - 04:11 PM
kendall 07 Aug 01 - 04:13 PM
Clinton Hammond 07 Aug 01 - 04:17 PM
Walking Eagle 07 Aug 01 - 04:19 PM
Bill D 07 Aug 01 - 04:23 PM
Jenny the T 07 Aug 01 - 04:41 PM
Liz the Squeak 07 Aug 01 - 04:41 PM
radriano 07 Aug 01 - 04:48 PM
GUEST 07 Aug 01 - 04:52 PM
Jack the Sailor 07 Aug 01 - 04:55 PM
radriano 07 Aug 01 - 04:58 PM
Little Hawk 07 Aug 01 - 08:06 PM
CRANKY YANKEE 07 Aug 01 - 08:54 PM
Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull 07 Aug 01 - 09:54 PM
catspaw49 07 Aug 01 - 10:15 PM
guinnesschik 07 Aug 01 - 10:29 PM
dick greenhaus 07 Aug 01 - 10:31 PM
Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull 07 Aug 01 - 10:39 PM
toadfrog 07 Aug 01 - 10:56 PM
Uncle_DaveO 07 Aug 01 - 11:19 PM
DougR 08 Aug 01 - 01:39 AM
BlueJay 08 Aug 01 - 03:16 AM
mooman 08 Aug 01 - 03:36 AM
Cappuccino 08 Aug 01 - 05:56 AM
Shields Folk 08 Aug 01 - 06:42 AM
Cappuccino 08 Aug 01 - 07:46 AM
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GUEST,Captain Swing 08 Aug 01 - 08:41 AM
Grab 08 Aug 01 - 09:49 AM
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Bat Goddess 08 Aug 01 - 12:03 PM
Kim C 08 Aug 01 - 01:01 PM
kendall 08 Aug 01 - 01:09 PM
Kim C 08 Aug 01 - 01:31 PM
Jack the Sailor 08 Aug 01 - 01:50 PM
fat B****rd 08 Aug 01 - 01:59 PM
GUEST,brian@irishrow.com 08 Aug 01 - 02:05 PM
Don Firth 08 Aug 01 - 02:16 PM
Kim C 08 Aug 01 - 03:03 PM
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Subject: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: rock chick
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 03:35 PM

I just had to ask this question, the worst song I have ever heard is 'Chicken on a raft' does anyone know who wrote this and if so WHY?


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: radriano
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 03:47 PM

Stick to rock, chick. Chicken on a Raft may be too deep for you to understand.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: rock chick
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 03:56 PM

Not just rock, of which I do love, but all sorts of different music, but chicken on a raft, do me a favor, well as you seem to have such deep understanding of it, pray please enlighten me to who wrote this C..P


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: radriano
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:02 PM

"Chicken on a Raft" was written by Cyril Tawney.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:11 PM

Mmmmmm... the Great C.T.!!!!

Millions of sea shantys can't be wrong!

:-)


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: kendall
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:13 PM

Havn't we been down this road before?


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:17 PM

What key ya gonna sing that in Kendall? I'll see if I can find some harmonies...

:-)


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:19 PM

Been there, done that. About three weeks ago.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:23 PM

"The Little Red Mill on Blueberry Hill Near the Hollywood Freeway Blues" by Spike Jones, with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Jenny the T
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:41 PM

"Mama Look-a Boo-Boo" by Gawd only knows

I heard this when I was about eleven, whiling away a summer's day scrabbling with a friend through the friend's parents' closet. We came upon a stack of 45's, among which was this gem.

It's a calypso tune about an (apparently) incredibly ugly man. The tune is kind of catchy, but the lyrics were so awful that we played it about a hundred times, laughing till we nearly passed out.

I've forgotten the verses, but the chorus still lingers:

"Mama look-a Boo-Boo" they shout Their mama tell them shut up yo' mouth-- That is yo' daddy! Oh no! My daddy can't be ugly so! Shut yo' mouth--go away! Mama look-a boo-boo dey! Huh! Shut yo' mouth--go away! Mama look-a boo-boo dey!

Thirty years later, and I still haven't shaken that from my memory. Sheesh.

JtT


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:41 PM

Chicken on a raft is a song about fried egg on toast. Eurrgh.

And everyone can write a bummer at some point in their carreer - even Lennon & McCartney have penned some stinkers (desperately trying to think of one....)

My candidate for worst song..... those f**king fields of Bloody Athenry!!!!!

LTS


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: radriano
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:48 PM

Dear Rock Chick:

First of all, let me apologize for my bad manners. I seem to be in a pissy mood. You have, of course, every right to not like a song.

Here's a little more information about Cyril Tawney:

Cyril Tawney joind the Royal Navey as a 16 year-old and served in a variety of craft, but mainly submarines. His role as a folk singer evolved out of his activities as a scriptwriter and performer in Naval entertainments. He came to the attention of the BBC in 1957 and soon had his own fully networked television program. It was around this time that he decided to buy himself out of the Service and become a full-time singer. Apart from his own compositions, Cyril has specialized for the most part in English folk song, mainly South-Western and Maritime, and he played an important part in establishing the Folk revival in Devon and Cornwal.

While some of the words used in "Chicken on a Raft" might seem nonsensical they are all part of the language of the Royal Navy. Cyril Tawney has written many wonderful songs that are much loved around the world especially to those who love sea music.

Richard


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:52 PM

Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so. -William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act II, Scene 2.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:55 PM

Saturday Night by the Bay City Rollers is my nomination. Horrible lyrics with a hook just barely catchy enough to get stuck in my head. As it is now! Damn it!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: radriano
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:58 PM

Rock Chick, I meant to add this to my last post. See the link below for an explanation of the terms used in "Chicken on a Raft.

Previous "Chicken on a Raft" thread


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 08:06 PM

The WORST??? You want the absolute worst? That's tough.

How about just settling for a few real stinkers, and giving up on the idea of finding the definitive worst song ever...it's as elusive as the Snark.

I nominate the one from Karate Kid, part 3..."like a knight in shining armour...from...(ummmm, hmmm, well gee)...a long time ago" Bleaugh!

"Kung Fu Fighting" Bam! Smack! Aieeee!

Then there's "Morning Train" by Sheena Easton. Guaranteed to stick in your head and drive you nuts.

That's good enough for now.

- LH


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: CRANKY YANKEE
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 08:54 PM

"picture on the Wall", The original Carter Family (A.P., Maybelle and Sarah)

HTER'S A DARK AND FADED PICTURE ON THE WALL<
THAT HAS BEEN A-HANGIN' THERE FOR MANY YEAR
IT'S A PICTURE OF MY MOTHER
AND I KNOW THERE IS NO OTHER
THAT CAN TAKE THE PLACE OF MOTHER ON THE WALL

(CHORUS) (small letters indicate answer back by A.P. and Sarah))

ON THE WALL on the wall
ON THE WALL on the wall
(ALL TOGETHER)HOW I LOVE THAT DEAR OLD PICTURE ON THE WALL
TIME IS QUICKLY PASSING BY
AND I HANG MY HEAD AND C,,,U...H...R...A..I..Y (CRY)
'CAUSE I KNOW I'LL MEET MY MOTHER AFTER ALL.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 09:54 PM

A few weeks ago I went to The Adelphi Club, in Hull. I heard a student sing a song called Infinity Rose, Those were the only words to the song and he kept falling of his chair, he was very very drunk!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 10:15 PM

Always a winner thread topic.........

Okay........ANYTHING ever done or thought about being done by Red Sovine........"Giddy-up go Daddy...Giddy-up Go."............yeah right.....just take all of Red's bullshit and gidy it's ass up and on outta' here. What crap!

And I can't let one of these go past without mentioning Bobby Goldsboro and "Honey."........Ain't that just the sappiest piece of shit you ever heard? Makes for good parody though........
See my stiff dick, I'm so afraid
Now since you're dead I can't get laid
I needa' fuck!

Then of course there's the David Bowie thing about Major Tom the psychotic astronaut.........
Ground Control to Major Tom
You really have fucked up
........or words to that effect. It's aptly titled "Space Oddity".........now ain't that the truth? Little Hawk will be along to explain the deeper meanings of this winner and it's relationship to the Cosmos, the Tri-Lateral Commision, and a Lithuanian pants presser named Harold.........Whatever it is, YOU figure it out!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: guinnesschik
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 10:29 PM

Heh...back in the days of my misspent youth, a chick named Patty Smythe (not the rock goddess Patti Smith) did a song called "The Warrior." I will never forget the line in the song that says....get ready.....here it comes...."your eyes touch me physically."

Yuk.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 10:31 PM

Suzanne (Leonard Cohen)


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 10:39 PM

I like the tune to that! (suzanne)


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: toadfrog
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 10:56 PM

If that's the same "Suzanne" I'm thinking of, I had thought of that as a pretty good song, actually. "Chicken on a Raft" is not about eggs on toast, it's creamed chipped beef on toast, or shit on a shingle, in American parlance. When they served us S.O.S. in the Army, the poor K.P.'s had their work cut out for them policing up all the vomit off the floor. In my opinion, "chicken on a raft is not a good song, but hardly a contender for "worst." "Worst song" is a field so awesomely competitive as to boggle the mind!

I have heard people say that "My Way" is a strong contender for worst. Meaning, I think, "worst" among highly successful "classic" popular songs. You can make a case for that; in the sense that it takes a fine tune and then defiles it with truly yucky sentiments.

I would argue the worst song on DT is ESKIMO NELL, a rather horrible "joke" about murder and rape, claiming to be "satire." Whoever thinks that is a "satire" has led a very protected life!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 11:19 PM

Before I get grossly misunderstood, I must insist that I am and have been for more than fifty years a fervent admirer of Pete Seeger.

HOWSOMEVER, his song, "If I Had a Golden Thread" has got to be one of the lousiest songs going.

In almost-Biblical terms, Pete sold his birthright for a pot of message on this one.

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: DougR
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 01:39 AM

Yes, Kendall, you're right. A year or so ago.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: BlueJay
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 03:16 AM

And the eyes of a Ranger are upon you,
Anywhere you go he'll always see,
If you're in Texas look behind you,
That's where the Ranger's going to be.

For uninitiated folks outside of the U.S. that is the theme song from "Walker, Texas Ranger". The show's star, Chuck Norris actually had the nerve to kind of sing it. It has to be very near the bottom of the pile, IMO.

I am frustrated, because since that show began, I've never been able to decide which is worse- the song or the show. This implies that I have actually watched the show at times. I'm afraid I must admit it. Please be kind. I have now developed a Pavlovian response to reach for the remote control whenever I hear the words: "In the eyes of a Ranger"... Thanks, BlueJay


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: mooman
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 03:36 AM

Mentioned many times here in the past as a strong contender and IMHO still the absolute pits...MacArthur Park.

mooman


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Cappuccino
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 05:56 AM

Oh Catspaw, not * everything * by Red Sovine...! I used to play Phantom 309 nightly in a country band, and there wasn't a dry seat in the house, so it made me a few bob (to use an English phrase). But I agree, a full album of that stuff has you reaching for the bottle, pretty damn quick. May I nominate Charlie Rich (I think) and Behind Closed Doors, which I've always thought of as the most crass male chauvinist piggery I've ever heard.

- Ian B


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Shields Folk
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 06:42 AM

Ian B, why would a country song make the auidience wet themselves?


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Cappuccino
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 07:46 AM

'Not a dry seat in the house' is an old cabaret-artist phrase, which can signify achieving taking the audience to extreme emotion of either sorrow or joy - or indeed hysterical laughter. The interesting aspect of the country music suggested by Spaw is that all these different effects can be seen on different people in the same audience!

Taking the physical aspect of this discussion to a whole new low, I'm told that after the Beatles concerts of the mid-60s, the theatre aisles were literally awash.

-IanB


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: kendall
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 07:53 AM

Abba Dabba honeymoon.
Bobbys Girl
It's my party (I'll cry if I want to)
Stand by your man

The world is full of beautiful music, why do people listen to such clap trap?


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,Captain Swing
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 08:41 AM

'Don't Pass Me By' - written by Ringo on the White Album


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Grab
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 09:49 AM

I don't believe it, not a single mention of Frankie Vallie's entire back catalogue. Or the interchangeable early Beach Boys tat (you can see the conversation now: "What's this one about?" "Oh, just another one about cars and surfboards, with our nuts in trapped in a drawer." "Cool, let's do it."). And no-one's spotted "Sugar baby love" either.

Trouble is, there's always some dodgy songs you like, for no apparent reason. I'm a sucker for power ballads, so "She's like the wind" (Patrick Swayze) and "Will you" (Hazel O'Connor), for example, are songs I like but I know I shouldn't, cos they're a bit tacky.

Graham.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 09:54 AM

The Beatles wrote a song called "Run For Your Life" : Run for your life if you can, little girl. Hide your head in the sand, little girl, catch you with another man, that's the end, little girl.

Later, in one of the verses is the line:" I'd rather see you dead, little girl, than to see you with another man."

We don't need songs about stalkers from the stalkers viewpoint. What were L. and M. thinking?

Another one, I don't know the title, but it has the line: don't, don't you want me, you know that I can't stand it when you say that you won't see me." and later: "you better change your mind or we will both be sorry". Sounds like he's planning a murder/suicide.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: LR Mole
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 10:24 AM

Hey! I like a lot of these! (Well, not a lot. Some.)(Well, the Beach Boys.) (And there was a time when the ability to play "Suzanne" convinced coeds you were a Sensitive, Poetical Soul, even if you were not.)BUT through solo act, lots of bands, and even crooning on the Potted Palm circuit, I have NEVER sung "Feelings".(Whoa, whoa, whoa...) Man's gotta know his limitations.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Grab
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 10:36 AM

OH, and cf. "Suzanne" to the "Bad timing" thread. Never sing this unless the whole pub is drunk and maudlin - it's a good 2am song.

Graham.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,djh
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 11:26 AM

Anything by Metallica, or Twisted sister ect... How could Leonard Cohen and the Beatles be on this list while the real worst songs ever made are on the radio somewhere right now.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 12:03 PM

Winchester Cathedral

(It's a) Small World (oh, damn -- even thinking about it obliquely means I'll have the bloody thing in my head all day!)

Mary Black trying to sing "Men of Worth" and totally screwing up the lyrics

That stupid pseudo-Celto thing "I Will Go, I Will Go" that a pair of otherwise perfectly nice friends sing.

Sorry to be pissy; it's the heat. (No, it isn't; it's the humidity.)

Bat Goddess, going off to look for a thread where she can say something nice about someone or something


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 01:01 PM

Lemme think on this one... Children of the Sun was pretty bad... anything by Loverboy... Raggedy Ann by Little Jimmy Dickens...speaking of Little Jimmy, Mister hates Death in the Family... if you grew up in the South like me you are probably SICK TO DEATH of Free Bird...


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: kendall
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 01:09 PM

IT HAS TAKEN ME 13 years to get "Small world after all" out of my head! Thanks a lot Bat!!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 01:31 PM

flintstones, meet the flintstones

they called him flipper, flipper, flipper

Daniel Boone was a man, a big man

rollin rollin rollin keep those dogies rollin

there Kendall, does that help?!

(ducking and running!!!!!!!!) ;-D


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 01:50 PM

I couldn't put MacArthur Park od Suzanne on my list of worst songs ever written. But certianly the would go on my list of worst songs SUNG, especially Shatner's version og MacArthur Park BRRRRRRRRRRR.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: fat B****rd
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 01:59 PM

Hey Ranger Steve that's "Dont't you want me baby" by T'Human League. I too hate "Feelings" especially when sung on a stool by somebody who sings with their eyes closed.But the real gruesome one for me is that "Teddy Bear" or whatever, something to do with a convoy of CB truckers. Blecchh


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,brian@irishrow.com
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 02:05 PM

This question has been asked repeatedly of DJs and artists and one particular song that has frequently won the Amana refrigerator is...

Peter, Paul and Mary with "I Dig Rock and Roll Music"

A self-serving, cynical and ill-advised rant at the end of their waning popularity and no help at all to their talented careers.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Don Firth
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 02:16 PM

Anybody remember Lorne Greene singing a set of words to the theme from Bonanza? Never did figure the words out.

Now, if you get into renditions of songs, then there's a fertile field. I nominate William Shatner doing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 03:03 PM

Has everyone FAILED to mention, what I finally remembered is the worst song I think I have EVER heard...

Brand New Key

With Midnite at the Oasis coming in a close second.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 03:59 PM

I'm still opting for "Honey" but a lot of these have merit as absolutely stupid/awful/worst.

Oh yeah, you gotta' include "MacArthur Park" in any list like this........Someone left the cake out in the rain......They did? Well fuckem'.......

And what about "Whiter Shade of Pale?" I mean what is that anyway? A whiter shade of pale............yeah, right..............completely moronic.........Of course stupidity has never stopped pop hits, like, say, "Horse with No Name"......Why not give the damn thing a name?

While we're at it, let's not forget really dumb trad/folk stuff like "Banks of the Ohio." What a psychopath that asshole was..........I have to kill her because I love her?.......uh,huh...........The guy needed professional help.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Jeri
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 04:14 PM

It's a guest horse, Spaw. It doesn't have to have a name if it doesn't want one.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: kendall
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 04:23 PM

Now you are getting personal Spaw! I see Banks of the Ohio as a good example of the difference between love and obsession.
Besides, Knoxville Girl is worse.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 04:39 PM

Who remembers Telephone Man? heeheeheehee


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 04:42 PM

We seem to be coming close to a consensus.

Teddy Bear by Red Sovine.

Honestly I can't think of a worst one

"And them trucks was line up for ten city blocks to give ole Teddy Bear a ride.

It's corny, it got that weepy country talking, it plays the sympathy card to an embarrassing degree. It's about truckers and CB's. How could it be worse????


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Puflet
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 05:02 PM

'January' by Pilot; this also has the distinction of being one of the worst number ones of all time too. I notice that someone's mentioned 'Sugar Baby Love'.

Well yes


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 05:08 PM

LMAO Jeri....Great line!!!

I dunno' Kendall.......I tell ya' though we make jokes about it and all, but trad stuff often deals with dead/lost loves and that's okay, but so many of them are just plain psychotic!!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 05:08 PM

Kim C - yeah, I remember Telephone Man. I almost mentioned it, but it didn't fit in with my posting about obsessive boyfriend songs. Thanks for doing the dirty work for me.

Deck of Cards is right up there with Teddy Bear as one of the worst recitations ever. They never say whether or not the judge fell for the whole cards/bible thing, but I'd like to know that he gave the guy life in prison. Preferably with hard labor.

"Stuck Inside of Mobile With the Memphis Blues Again". Maybe there's a deep, meaningful message here, but I'd prefer to know that Dylan purposely wrote it as pure nonsense, and is getting a real kick out of listening to people try to find a meaning to it all.

"I am, I cried, to no one there, and no one heard me at all, not even the chair". A chair is not "no one" it's a thing. And chairs don't hear. Why does that come as a surprise to Neil Diamond?

All the songs from "Cats".


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Joe_F
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 07:13 PM

Choosing among the stuff that comes out of loudspeakers would be a dreadful task. Confining myself to songs that have been sung my human beings in my presence, I would say "Harriet Tubman" has most often driven me to the kitchen. Every line in it is embarrassing.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,Denise:^)
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 07:23 PM

We've got a lot of stinkers here, all right...

One of my favorites, though, when it comes to talking about bad songs, are the people who don't even get the point that PPM's 'I Dig Rock & Roll Music' really means just the opposite...

"But, if I really say it,
The radio won't play it
And so I'll lay it between the lines..."

(BTW, Dave Barry speculated that Neil Diamond wrote the line about the chair because he'd already rejected "like Smokey the Bear," and "I have nits in my hair." I think he might be right.)

Has anyone ever heard, "Willie Roy, the Crippled Boy?" Right up there with 'Teddy Bear,' IMO.

Denise:^)


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: kendall
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 07:39 PM

Bear tracks.
Poor Elaine Smith.
Papa dont whip little Benny.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 08:03 PM

Okay Gang.....Let's not forget those NUMBER ONE on the charts things either. I mean "Seasons in the Sun" by Terry Jacks is really hideous with that hoppy-hokey melody line and inane lyrics!

And speaking of #1's and inane lyrics, let's not forget the most successful B-side of all time, a throwaway that went to the top of the charts and was Chuck Berry's biggest hit......."My Ding-A-Ling".............

Spaw


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Finny
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 08:12 PM

Yeah, Seasons in the Sun's pretty bad. My Dad used to bloody sing that to me when we were out fishing. He figured he had a captive audience out there in the boat. I would almost walk on water to get away from it. The he would start up with
"We had joy, we had fun, flicking boogies at the sun, when the sun got too hot, then our boogies turned to snot"
But my all time pet most hated song would have to be Push th' Little Daisies by Ween. If that don't irritate you, then there's not much else that will.
Finny


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 08:14 PM

RangerSteve - Gotta disagree with your assessment of "Stuck Inside of Mobile.."

"Stuck Inside of Mobile With the Memphis Blues Again". Maybe there's a deep, meaningful message here, but I'd prefer to know that Dylan purposely wrote it as pure nonsense, and is getting a real kick out of listening to people try to find a meaning to it all.

Message? Dylan was not writing songs with messages in them in 1965-66. What he was writing, as he pointed out to Phil Ochs at the time, was songs about personal feelings. Of course there is no message in "Stuck Inside of Mobile...". What there is...is a great deal of satirical comment on various games people play...a train of images and vignettes...an exposure of various forms of social hypocrisy and alienation (Dylan's). Bob was feeling very alienated at the time. This kind of song is not too hard to write or to relate to if you just let the images flow, and go with the feeling. That does not rate it as meaningless, although it is unconventional to most people.

Besides which, it sounds great musically.

It's not an A + B - D = C kind of song, but it's definitely meaningful. You don't have to engage in linear logic to establish meaning.

That's my take on this one. Each verse is a song in itself. Dylan didn't premeditate this stuff, he wrote it instinctively, and it wasn't nonsense, although that doesn't mean he knew consciously what it meant at the time either...but he knew how it FELT. That's what made it work.

I've heard attempted parodies of this period of Dylan's writing, and they don't work...cos they don't have the feeling, just a mental game of quasi-imitation.

- LH


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 08:48 PM

Uh-huh..........Now just wait til he delves into the intricacies of "Space Oddity" and the symbolic voyage of Major Tom, psychotic astronaut.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: ddw
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 11:16 PM

This is downright silly. You want us to pick the WORST song? With all of the rap, disco, heavy metal and punk rock out there and you want us to pick a Worst? You could also add hundreds of really inane songs from musical theater, a whole gaggle of country and pop songs and even a lot of opera. I'd nominate almost anything by Andrew Lloyd Webber or the Beatles. Talk about pap and drivel.....

And then there's "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and "Who Let The Dogs Out?"

Oh jeez.....don't let me get started......

david


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: kendall
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 07:00 AM

Rap is to music what etch-a-sketch is to art.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 07:00 AM

Little Hawk - OK, putting it that way, I guess it makes a little more sense. I'll have to give it another listen sometime.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 07:26 AM

Oh gawd....Bless you ddw!!! Another ALW non-fan. Sometimes I feel so alone.............All his "melodies" sound so contrived and the words are................I dunno'.................they're words I guess, but geeziz..................On several occasions, I've tried to be "fashionable" and listened to others extolling his virtues until nausea set in.............I just can't stand the stuff! Lock me in a room with Snoop Doggy.....ANYTHING but hearing anymore from Andy!!!!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: LR Mole
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 09:27 AM

"We've got a right to pick a little fight for Bonanza
If anyone fights anyone of us, he's gotta fight with me
" Believe it or not, this was done as a "singing finale" to the show once: as each Cartwright did his part, he'd then gallop away. Well, so would I. Boy is this thread a house of horrors.
Oh, no. Cross-song pollination is occurring."It's a Mudcat, after all; it's a Mudcat after all...there is just one Max, Kendall, Joe and Spaw..." Ride Digital Trad Mountain!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Kim C
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 10:25 AM

Lemme just say, Bonanza is my favorite TV show of ALL time and I am pissed that Taco Bell is using the Bonanza theme to sell their cruddy tacos. (of course, when you're hungry and all you got's a dollar, them taco's ain't so cruddy)

Gosh Kendall, I almost bought a mini Etch-a-Sketch at a yard sale last week, but someone beat me to it. It was one of my favorite toys as a child...

If Mister were here, he might vote for Crocodile Rock.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 10:35 AM

Geez. I just absolutely hated Bonanza. I used to call it "Labonza" instead (got that from Mad Magazine). As far as I'm concerned, Lorne Greene was the tackiest actor of all time...except for Ronald Reagan and Jerry Lewis!

Ah hah! I see the germination of a new thread here...be afraid, be very afraid!

Spaw - Listen to it again. You're not a complete idiot, so I'm sure realization will dawn... :-)

- LH


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Bob P
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 10:49 AM

This is surely among the most entertaining of "regular returning topics".

Some listed here are among my favorites, but that's as it should be.

Last time I nominated JL's "Revolution 9" which I noticed has acquired some company now from the White Album.

This time I'll choose . . .

K. Rogers "The Gambler" (who's only advice should have involved smoking). A parody, set in a laundrymat, by a folky named Greg Trafidlo is really clever, though. And, oh, I get upset just thinking about this turkey. V. Lawrence's "The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia", wherein we are introduced to about ten characters, each at bit more rotten than the last, and none I would ever care to run into.

Lets see now; kid sister does murder, takes a powder, then suddenly turns up moments after her brother swings, for a murder he was about to do, cept she beats him to it. And the point? Condemn, the Georgia criminal justice system! No Appeals? No ballistics? No defense? Judge got his law degree from Sally Stuthers institute? A jury comprised of Gomers and Goobers? Made you kinda proud to be a Georgian? I can see why Johnny Rocker wanted to pitch there.

Musta done wonders for tourism.

Actually, I've met many fine people who call that part of the country home.

Hey, perhaps the point was to keep people from moving there.

Ya think?


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 10:53 AM

"Ground control to Major Spaw
Commencing countdown, shut your jaw
As the song begins, take five and stand in awe..."

I figure David Bowie wrote it (Space Oddity) just for Catspaw, unlike the rest of his catalog which was written for Iggy Pop.

Kind of like that talking bass...

- LH


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Kim C
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 12:47 PM

Oh come on, now, Adam Cartwright was my first crush!

Admittedly, the show is hokey. It's probably more sentimental value to me than anything.

The theme to Eight is Enough was pretty hokey too.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Kim C
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 01:55 PM

Did anyone mention ABBA?


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: M.Ted
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 02:19 PM

There are bad songs, and then there are bad songs. I have to confess that some songs, like "Seasons in the Sun" and "Kung Fu Fighting" have a quality of badness that is almost transcendental--when you hear them, you get that feeling of shock and amazement, almost like seeing a great whale--there are a bunch of other songs, like "Billy, Don't Be a Hero" "The Night Chicago Died", "Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree", "Joy to the World" that were profoundly trite, and which annoy to the point of delight--Or those wonderful "Lobo" and Bread songs--that are so gooey that they make you laugh. Then there are the weird songs, like DOA, or the maudlin, morbid songs, that are fun because they are so far over the edge.

The songs that I don't like are the ones that are not particularly memorable, except for their insincerity--things like "Evergreen", which is a vehicle for gushing fake emotions, or "I Want to Be an Engineer" in which the songwriter debases a pathetic protagonist to make some political points--Then there is "Little Willie", I never wanted that mindless, drunken goon at my party!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 02:38 PM

Yeah, I couldn't stand "Evergreen" either, but I generally have a really hard time tolerating Barbra Streisand...not to say she isn't talented...I just don't like her style. Same for Sinatra. I always got the feeling with Frank that I would have been willing to walk 5 miles out of my way to avoid his company at any time.

And I like Shirley MacLaine. Funny, isn't it?

Kim - I was neutral on Adam Cartwright...it was Hoss and Pa that I really couldn't stand.

- LH


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: ard mhacha
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 03:36 PM

I once heard Frank Sinatra singing The Road to Mandalay, not a bad song, but this arrangement was toe-cringing, Frankie boy even managed to include "broads", Peter Dawson turned in his grave. Slan Ard Mhacha.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Gareth
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 03:43 PM

Ard Mhacha,

I dont suppose Rudyard Kipling was that happy either !

Gareth


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Kim C
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 04:39 PM

Aw, how could you not love a big lug like Hoss??!?

When I was in the first grade, I had a 45 by the Paper Lace with Billy Don't Be a Hero on one side, and The Night Chicago Died on the other. My big brother took me down to the record shoppe to buy it for me.

My friend Jennifer and I won the 3rd grade PE dance contest with The Night Chicago Died. :-)


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Gloredhel
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 04:57 PM

A thousand thanks to David and RangerSteve for mentioning "Cats" and Andrew Lloyd Webber, whose music is so overrated it makes me sick.... But no one has mentioned "Danny Boy" yet. To anyone in America who is trying desperately to sing traditional Irish music, that song is the bane of their existence. After you sing it or hear it sung badly the first fifty or sixty times at the five St. Patrick's day celebrations you yearly attend (the two you're hired for, the two you're invited to, and the one you crash at 1 am ), not to mention a few funerals at which that part of the audience that wasn't previously in tears absolutely dissolves into sniffling at the first phrase, believe me, no matter how nice the melody, you never want to hear it mentioned again!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 05:11 PM

Kim - I guess the reason I didn't like Hoss was because his counterparts in my High School football team were terrorizing me on a regular basis. That's probably it.

- LH


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: M.Ted
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 05:24 PM

Frank's version of "The Road to Mandalay" *is* on of those things that embarrasses the listener--thanks for reminding us--


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,frankie
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 05:53 PM

Yes, Crocodile Rock has got to be near the top (or bottom) of the list but the all-time worst for me has got to be "The Windmills of Your Mind" performed by Noel Harrison. The thing popped up on my clock radio very early one morning and I broke a bone in my right hand trying to turn it off. frankie


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 08:33 PM

The theme from "A Man and A Woman". I believe it uses a whole four notes, over and over and over.

Blue Christmas. By Elvis or anyone else. It's too bad you can't shoot songs and kill them.

After mentioning "Cats", I turned on the TV and there it was on public TV. I watched for a while, and it doesn't improve with each watching. Spaw, DDW, Gloredhel, all I can say is Thanks for agreeing with me. I can't say it enough:"ALL THE SONGS FROM "CATS"


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: M.Ted
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 09:10 PM

Noel Harrison also did "Didn't We Girl?"--


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: kendall
Date: 09 Aug 01 - 09:12 PM

When a man LUV a woman.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Lee Shore
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 03:48 AM

How'n hell could this list have gotten this long without anybody citing "Proud to be An American" by Lee Hazelwood?


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Firecat
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 07:21 AM

Ranger Steve, the second song you mentioned was "Don't You Want Me?" by the Human League (hit in about 1985/86, I think. I can't remember cos I was only 1 or 2!!!)

My nominations as WORST SONG EVER go to ....
Bob The Builder for both of his singles
Teletubbies for "Teletubbies say Eh Oh!"
Tweenies for any song that they've ever done!
Aqua for "Barbie Girl" and finally...
Spice Girls for "Wannabe"

And the winner is....(rustle of paper as she opens that gold envelope they always keep the results in)...TELETUBBIES FOR "TELETUBBIES SAY EH OH!"! Come on, Teletubbies, come and get your heads kicked in for making the worst record ever!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: LR Mole
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 12:15 PM

Lee GREENwood was proud to be an American.Lee Hazelwood did those very spacy songs with Nancy Sinatra (Flowers...are the...things we grow...)(N'let me tell ya'bout Phaedra...) I think he has a cult following somewhere.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 07:58 PM

I never heard Frank S. sing "road to Mandalay", but I did hear him sing "Ole Man River". Some songs just can't be sung by white people.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 08:06 PM

Is no one going to nominate "Feelings"? OK, I will then.

My youth was tainted forever with this wretched piece of drivel. There was even a Gong show where *every* contestant sang the gawdawful thing!

:::twitch...twitch:::

I'll take "Chicken on a Raft" any day over this or anything by Jose Feliciano.

;D


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Justa Picker
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 08:24 PM

Songs that make my skin crawl and create waking rigor mortis:

- Feelings (thanks for reminding me Celtic Soul)
- I Just Called To Say I Love You
- Wasted Days & Wasted Nights
- Bad Bad Leroy Brown
- My Sweet Lord
- My Sharona
- The Hampster Dance
- Dylan's Electric stuff
- Doc Watson singing "Knights In White Satin" (and any other bluegrass stars singing top 40 but performed in a bluegrass style)
- Saturday Night Fever Album as well as anything by KC and the Sunshine Band
- Anything by Neil Sedaka, Neil Diamond, Britanny Spears, Barry Manilow, Sinead O'Connor, Prince(ess), Boy George, Joe, Destiny's Child, and, the Spice Girls.

Oh. Forgot something.


Any (C)RAP!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 08:31 PM

Tell ya' JP.....The best rendition of "My Sharona" was done in "Next Movie" by Cheech Marin. He's driving along singing it and all the words )which no one understands to begin with) are reduced to: "Da-da-daa-de-da,da-de-da-de-da.....My scrotum. Da-da-daa-de-da, da-de-da-de-da....My scrotum."

Far better than the original.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 08:34 PM

That's "Nights In White Satin".


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Justa Picker
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 09:33 PM

(I know guest. It was a feeble attempt at subtle humor.)


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Aug 01 - 09:37 PM

Jeri-It took me a couple of minutes to get it, but I think your Guest horse joke was really funny, I was laughing aloud!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 12:52 AM

Here's a little piece of trivia about "The Hamster Dance"

It's actually a speeded up bit of one or two bars of a song found on Disneys animated "Robin Hood" that came out in the late 60's early 70's (starring a fox as Robin).

The whole film has English "country" peasants speaking like Americans from the deep south. And the music is basically the same idea.

They even have one piece that I am convinced is a Hollywood countrified version of "Jolly Beggarman".

"Oo da lolly", indeed... ;D


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,genie
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 01:22 AM

What? Nobody nominated Paul Anka's "Havin' My Baby?" (Let me be the first.) Also, there was a song called "Joanna" or something like that by, I think, Cool & the Gang, with lyrics like: "Joanna, I love you, ... take her for a walk, make me feel fine, tell her that she's mine," and unimaginative rhymes and half rhymes ad nauseum. It made the "moon, June, spoon, croon," lyrics of the early 20th Century seem downright Shakespearean by comparison!

One more entry -- for bad lyric, not the whole song. Neil Diamond should be ashamed of "... songs she sang to me, songs she brang to me..., " from "Play Me."


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: fat B****rd
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 06:50 AM

I just remembered hearing a nauseating series of "Spoken" tunes in the vein of "What is a little girl" etc. Then there was "No Charge" !!!!!!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: DonMeixner
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 09:18 AM

M Ted, Did Noel Harrison record "Didn't We." I thought that was Richard Harris. Either way the song bites.

Don


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Firecat
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 05:00 PM

Was that "Hamster Dance" song the one by the Cuban boys, that's really called "Cognoscenti vs Intelligentsia?" or am I thinking of a different one?


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: RWilhelm
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 05:26 PM

These are all terrible songs, many by artists that should have known better. The worst song I ever heard, though, was at an open mike. Written and sung by a kid about 20 it was a deadly serious song about Marvel Comics superheros. It had no chorus, no hooks, very few chord changes, I could not make sense of the verses, and it went on forever.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Lee Shore
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 05:50 PM

Much as I love a lot of old time country music, many of the songs are so maudlin and sappy that they should be labeled emetics. Several are present on the otherwise wonderful album Shall the Circle Be Unbroken, e.g. "Wreck on the Highway," and "Momma and Daddy are Dead." They almost sound like vicious parodies of country music. And who can forget "Footprints in the Snow" I know I keep trying.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: harpgirl
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 05:54 PM

My current vote is "Because I Got High" by Afro Man. Nathan and I heard it on Hot 104.9 in Tallahassee! We did laugh a lot!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: rube1
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 06:19 PM

"Somebody Bring Me Some Water" by Melissa Ethridge. Yeah, she belts it out and plays pretty well, but that's just misdirection. What about the internal logic of the song? Ok, she's "burning alive" because "can't you see my baby's got another lover and I don't know how I'm gonna survive." So she's burning, metaphorically, (I get that) with jealousy, and what does she crave? Water. Nothing else will do. Metaphorical jealousy produces physical thirst for water. Anyone else ever been so jealous it made them thirsty for water? Me either. I used to think I had to be missing something, but that song is just wrong.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,Denise:^)
Date: 11 Aug 01 - 09:48 PM

Earl's open mike experience reminded me of an open mike I attended at the Ark. There I was, seated in the front row, center of the stage, and this college-age guy walks in and sings this song he'd written himself: 'The Squirrel Revolution.' He starts out kinda quiet, singing about how the squirrels used to be in charge of the earth, but then people came along...and then the head squirrel calls a meeting, and the squirrels vote to re-take-over the world, so they all climb into trees and drop acorns on everybody, but nobody notices, because the squirrels are too small...

Meanwhile, my friend and I are sitting right in front of him, waiting for the punchline. He is strumming more and more fiercely, singing louder and louder--and then the acorns are dropped, and he gets quiet again...and we both realize: HE'S NOT KIDDING!! We nearly strangled ourselves trying not to laugh in his face--he was so very earnest! After his set, we stumbled out to the parking lot, where we laughed until we cried. It was a great comedy number, but one of the worst sincere songs ever!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,genie
Date: 12 Aug 01 - 08:35 AM

Earl and Denise, Your "open mike" entries reminded me of the time I took the members of a Portland band called "The Pipsqueaks" from Portland to the Bay area (a ride share deal). They quickly used up all the batteries in my boom box playing one of their band's tapes at top volume. All the songs were highly forgettable, except for one of the repeated hook lines (the hook line?) in one of their creations, which went "she left me to suck another man's dick."

You reminded me that, as bad as many well-known songs are, there are tons of really awful ones that, for good reason, most people will never hear!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Midchuck
Date: 12 Aug 01 - 09:42 AM

I would cast one more vote for "Teddy Bear" (the Red Sovine one), if it can even be considered a song.

Justa, be ashamed! "Knights in White Satin" was redeemed from awfulness by Doc doing it. Anything Doc sings becomes a Good Song by virtue of his singing it. IMNOFBHI.

Kendall, re "Poppa, Don't Whip Little Benny," have you heard the Homer and Jethro version, "Momma, Don't Whup Little Buford?" Considerable improvement, I think.

"Momma, Don't Whup Little Buford,
Momma, don't pound on his head!
Momma, don't whup little Buford,
I wish you would shoot him instead...

"When Buford was five, he was smoking,
And drinkin' hard likker at six.
At seven, he learnt about wimmen,
At eight, Buford got his first fix!

Hmmm....maybe that's not so funny anymore. But it used to be.

Peter.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,honestfrankie
Date: 12 Aug 01 - 10:54 AM

Worst songs? Most every national anthem that I understand the words to.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: gnomad
Date: 12 Aug 01 - 12:12 PM

For sheer slop can Rolf Harris's "Two Little Boys" have a rival? For pointlessness "Be kind to our web-footed friends". Honest frankie has a point about the anthems though.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,BEK
Date: 12 Aug 01 - 03:05 PM

I'm a masochist. I know it. I shouldn't have read this thread. Now, I have crappy music floating round in my head.

Oh, lessee....

Macarena Look what they've done to my song Rubber Ducky I'm awfully fond of you Anything by the Partridge Family Hold that 'D" Chord (or whatever that song is called) by Harry Chapin ARCH!

And sung, picked on instrument or nose--the worst performances: ANY RENDITION BY WILLIAM SHATNER

Hmmmmm....now what am I going to go listen to to wipe allthis crap out of my head?


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Kaleea
Date: 12 Aug 01 - 11:24 PM

While Shatner's "Lucy" is laughable, I truly hated "Is That All There Is?" & "In the Year 2525", but, by far the most horrible song I ever found (I passed up buying it) was in a sheet music sale in the music dept of my college. It was copyrighted in the early part of the 1900's and showed on the cover picture a frustrated woman attempting to complete her laundry day tasks as a man took off with some of her freshly washed & hung out laundry leaving the clothesline & clean laundry in the mud near her washtub. The title of the tin pan alley sounding atocity? "Daddy Took Our Last Clean Sheet & Joined the Ku Klux Klan." I was aghast at the title, but curious, and read the song which was, as I suspected, atrocious, yet an obvious attempt by some tin pan alley composer to satirize the goings on of the above mentioned group. None of the professors of music would fess up to donating the wretched thing to the sale.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: RWilhelm
Date: 12 Aug 01 - 11:38 PM

"Is That All There Is?" Is Leiber and Stoller's existential cabaret masterpiece by recorded by the inimitable Peggy Lee. I disagree on that one.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: rock chick
Date: 13 Aug 01 - 11:53 AM

Gee starting a thread like this really does remind you just how many crappy songs there are, I'd forgotton ! but it's great reading all the replies I haven't stopped laughing most of the afternoon, not that I should be working of course!

I HATE HATE HATE HATE.... 99 RED BALLONS by ????? it's so bad I can't even remeber who sung it, mind you my family love it..... I hid the record somewhere years ago from my hubby and the kids.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: guinnesschik
Date: 13 Aug 01 - 08:32 PM

Has anyone listened to any filk? It's folk music written about sci-fi. I heard (at an open mic session) a song with major sci-fi novel and TV show titles from the 50's and 60's arranged as lyrics. Oh, the pain young William, the pain!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Firecat
Date: 13 Aug 01 - 08:47 PM

I've remembered another one. "Big Panty Woman" by the Barefoot Man was a UK hit in 1998. Every morning, I get forced to listen to a bit of Radio 2, but this song was released before I got my own stereo. Sarah Kennedy CANED the rubbish song. For those of you who aren't up to date with slang terminology, if somebody "canes" a record, it means that they play it over and over again ad nauseum!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: richlmo
Date: 13 Aug 01 - 10:14 PM

Of all the Bad songs I have heard over the last 50 years, I don't think any of them compare to the c(RAP), as Justa Picker so aptly named it, that my 11 year old son listens to everyday! I actually took a CD away from him and broke it into pieces the other day, By some loser ( or losers ) named Uncle Cracker. Filth. As much torture as it is, I am in the process of listening to every one of his CDs from start to finish. How many BAD songs do you need for this thread?


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: ddw
Date: 13 Aug 01 - 11:19 PM

One I almost forgot (senior moments do have their uses) is that great siding salesman's anthem "My Way," done equally badly by Frank Sinatra and Elvis.

I had a friend who used to play in a piano bar in St. Catharines, Ont. who would run a patron out of the place for requesting it.

"Up On The Roof" and "Under The Boardwalk" rank pretty high on my kill-you-for-that list, too.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Chanteyranger
Date: 14 Aug 01 - 01:55 AM

As a connysewer of bad songs, I'd love to hear the compilation CD of some of these! I'd have to add "My Name Is Larry" to this list.

Chicken On A Raft, though, goes on my good song list. Funny it was mentioned, because at the July chantey sing in S.F., after it was sung there was a short debate on the meaning of it. I wrote Cyril Tawney in July and asked him what it meant. He responded with a very kind letter, including this explanation: "The title indeed refers to a particular dish we were served up, but it was a fried egg on fried bread. Toast was never part of any R.N. menu, probably due to the difficulties involved in keeping it both warm and palatable under mass-catering conditions."

-chanteyranger


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,genie
Date: 14 Aug 01 - 03:04 AM

Anything which the floorsinger introduces with the words "This is a song I wrote while I was doing my 'A' levels".


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,--seed (cookieless at home)
Date: 14 Aug 01 - 03:17 AM

For a while folks were contributing their favorite worst male dominance songs: The top of my list is "The Unknown Love" --and almost anything else sung by Kenny Rogers, from "Ruby" to "Coward of the County."

Spaw, my wife loves _Phantom of the Opera_ ; I didn't hear a single memorable tune or even musical phrase in the whole dreary mishmash.

But "It's a Small World After All" is the worst, most annoying piece of crap ever inflicted on unsuspecting audiences. If you've never heard it, stay the hell away from Disneyland, for the sake of your sanity.

--seed


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: rock chick
Date: 14 Aug 01 - 03:35 PM

My daughter saw the thread that I hated 99 Red Ballons... guess what???? well she down loaded it and has been playing it VERY VERY loadly when ever I'm around..... Don't you just love your kids!!!!!

She had also orderd it on CD......HELP!


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 01 - 03:59 PM

Richlmo - I agree. c(RAP) is the absolute worst ever. Ugly sounding music by ugly-minded people with an ugly attitude promoted by an ugly industry.

No wonder rebellious teens love it.

- LH


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Aug 01 - 05:28 PM

The worst version of any song I ever heard is Joan Baez and Bob Dylan duetting on With God on their side on a Newport Folk Festival LP I've got. Talk about self parody. 10 out of 10 Bobby!!

Jock


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Gloredhel
Date: 14 Aug 01 - 07:26 PM

In my opinion, c(RAP) is not even music--rythm, maybe, but not music. My Way is pretty bad, but please excuse the inimitable Mr. Sinatra (sigh!)--his manager made him do it. He never liked the song. There is a terrible late-19th century song "Kutchy kutchy kutchy coo! Lovey me I lovey'oo. Does 'oo lovey lovey me, as I lovey lovey 'ee?" I only hope it was written by a four-year-old, and that no adult would put his name to it.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Chanteyranger
Date: 15 Aug 01 - 04:06 AM

Oh my god, Gloredhel, that sounds like the silliest song ever! There was an old pop one called "Tiddly Winky Woo" that's close by.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Midchuck
Date: 15 Aug 01 - 10:31 AM

The worst version of any song I ever heard is Joan Baez and Bob Dylan duetting on With God on their side on a Newport Folk Festival LP I've got. Talk about self parody. 10 out of 10 Bobby!!

Jock

I love that cut. I use it to torment my wife! She'll do anything to get me to stop playing it....

Peter.


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Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 01 - 12:51 PM

I find Joan & Bob a pretty good combo most of the time.

- LH


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