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BS: Female Orgasm by remote control

Melbert 11 Feb 01 - 04:51 PM
Matt_R 11 Feb 01 - 01:01 PM
Matt_R 11 Feb 01 - 12:54 PM
wysiwyg 11 Feb 01 - 12:36 PM
Matt_R 11 Feb 01 - 12:19 PM
wysiwyg 11 Feb 01 - 12:09 PM
Katcina 11 Feb 01 - 10:20 AM
Lonesome EJ 11 Feb 01 - 02:41 AM
wysiwyg 11 Feb 01 - 01:51 AM
Katcina 11 Feb 01 - 01:29 AM
wysiwyg 11 Feb 01 - 12:28 AM
Mark Cohen 11 Feb 01 - 12:23 AM
GUEST,aeduin 10 Feb 01 - 10:44 PM
Gypsy 10 Feb 01 - 10:35 PM
Katcina 10 Feb 01 - 06:39 PM
wysiwyg 10 Feb 01 - 04:40 PM
Hollowfox 10 Feb 01 - 03:14 PM
Katcina 10 Feb 01 - 03:09 PM
McGrath of Harlow 10 Feb 01 - 03:01 PM
SINSULL 10 Feb 01 - 12:48 PM
Lyrical Lady 10 Feb 01 - 12:40 PM
wysiwyg 10 Feb 01 - 11:50 AM
mousethief 10 Feb 01 - 11:44 AM
catspaw49 10 Feb 01 - 10:48 AM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 01 - 10:40 AM
Noreen 10 Feb 01 - 09:50 AM
catspaw49 10 Feb 01 - 07:46 AM
sledge 10 Feb 01 - 02:53 AM
Bill D 10 Feb 01 - 01:04 AM
catspaw49 10 Feb 01 - 12:17 AM
Lonesome EJ 09 Feb 01 - 11:59 PM
SINSULL 09 Feb 01 - 11:47 PM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 01 - 11:13 PM
catspaw49 09 Feb 01 - 10:36 PM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 01 - 10:22 PM
SINSULL 09 Feb 01 - 10:02 PM
Art Thieme 09 Feb 01 - 09:54 PM
catspaw49 09 Feb 01 - 09:48 PM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 01 - 09:46 PM
Metchosin 09 Feb 01 - 09:42 PM
GUEST 09 Feb 01 - 09:13 PM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 01 - 07:53 PM
Bill D 09 Feb 01 - 07:00 PM
Homeless 09 Feb 01 - 06:57 PM
mousethief 09 Feb 01 - 06:42 PM
Bill D 09 Feb 01 - 06:40 PM
sophocleese 09 Feb 01 - 06:31 PM
catspaw49 09 Feb 01 - 06:25 PM
mousethief 09 Feb 01 - 06:21 PM
Bill D 09 Feb 01 - 06:20 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Melbert
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 04:51 PM

Electrical stores sell programmable remote controls which can be used to operate various devices and eliminate tyhe need for several remote controls......
For example, if you want one unit to operate the TV, the VCR and the satellite system then you buy a "One for All - 3".
If you also want to operate your CD player with the same device then you need "One for all - 4".
I guerss now they'll be selling "One for All - 69"!


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Matt_R
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 01:01 PM

Part II is here.


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Matt_R
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 12:54 PM

A half hour? HA! Try 15 minutes!


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 12:36 PM

Hafta ask Katcie-- her car.

Isn't it time for part 2 of this, and let's call it FEMALE ORGASM, COME AGAIN?

Matt, can you do it?

Or do you need to wait a half hour?

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Matt_R
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 12:19 PM

Any chance on yer way down Sowf, you could pick up a skinny white boy wif a sack of instruments?


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 12:09 PM

LEJ! Join the effort! We're taking the planet! Aw gee-- giggling uncontrollably now-- WE COULD REALLY USE THE TRID. Is he currently available? We promise much booty!

Hahahahahahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here, Katcina, tuck him in between us in Elvira.... yeah you better drive... that cliff thing-- well I might try to see if this boat can fly, you know, testing it for the MMM....

(car pulls away, all three singing "Wild-women don't worr-eeee, wy-eld wimmin don' geh-et the bluesssss....")

~S~

(Katcie, search for the Mudcat Tavern Enterprise for one story with the Trid. I can't remember the thread names of the others. Katlie could tell you.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Katcina
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 10:20 AM

LMAO!!

EJ you would be much more Lonesome were it not for us wild women!! Enjoy what we have to offer and take nothing on earth too serious, especially yourself or others!

Katcina


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 02:41 AM

Oh, great. Add two more Wildwomen to the list!

I personally am in favor of having orgasms while driving, as it tends to break up the monotony of a long trip. However, if possible, I prefer to time them for those long straightaways.


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 01:51 AM

Brrrrrrrmmmmmmm.......... my heart is on fire, for Elvira! Giddiup.....

CONTINUE TO USE GARBUTT CYPHER TILL FURTHER NOTICE.

~ C.Y. ()*%^:><{})_!@#&%^& AKA WYSIWYG


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Katcina
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 01:29 AM

WYSIWYG, I have a cherry '86 trubo600 convertible and aways wanted to pull a "Thelma and Louise"; care to join me? We can leave out the last scene where the car goes off the cliff if you wouldn't mind. I rather like the condition Elvira is in now and would hate to crumble her. But she's fast and we could chase down Harleys!

Road trip in order,

Katcina


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 12:28 AM

Katcina, trust me-- I am not in the Inner Mudcat Clique! I think once upon a time, for a couple of days, I almost was, but then I sort of plummeted from grace. (And heck! Who needs stinkin' Grace anyhow, that bitch!)

Hey! Let's go on a road trip! Where shall we meet?

Sigh... forgot, I have too many pressing responsibilities on the Martian invasion thing. Oh yeah. We're having ourselves a time on that thread. I won't tell anyone over there you're one of us. (Yer new in these parts and far too sophisticated to be a F***ing Earth Person.) So you can do some damage! (Shhhh!!!! It's not cool to go over there, so... tippytoe...)

THEN (bwah-hahahahhhh!!!) AFTER we take earth from The Cursed Earth People and subjugate their puny carbon-based culture.... hahahahahahhhhhHAH! THEN we take the road trip to survey our domain!

~ Communication Yeomonster ()*%^:><{})_!@#&%^&, AKA WYSIWYG


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 12:23 AM

It's the septum pellucidum,Matt. I know you've been wondering. Septum just means "partition", so, yes, there are quite a few, the one in the nose being the most, er, accessible.

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: GUEST,aeduin
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 10:44 PM

Get it wrong and once again you wouldn't know whether you were coming or going.


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Gypsy
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 10:35 PM

Mousethief, won't be able to get your lyrics out of my mind for days! wow!


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Katcina
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 06:39 PM

WYSIWYG

I absolutely love your sense of humour! Even if I can't be in the clique I still get to enjoy the jun through your postings!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: wysiwyg
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 04:40 PM

(blush) Oh! Is this what McGrath's song "The Blue Clicky Thingy" was supposed to be about?

(THIS IS A MUSIC THREAD, RIGHT?)

And now I get it! The Mudcat Inner Clique!

*g*

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Hollowfox
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 03:14 PM

I notice that all the people quoted in the first post weem to be male. hmm. Also, if this thing the size of a cigarette case is implanted in a buttock, then I see a huge upswing in the scoliosis market.


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Katcina
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 03:09 PM

This contraption really sounds like it would be just the thing for long trips alone. It would put an end to having to accost the occasional hitch hiker. Though I must admit if it is truly effective it would make the trips much longer since I dont drive and orgasm at the same time, much too dangerous. Might get a DUO.


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 03:01 PM

All great fun - but a bit frightening if you put it together with this, from the International Herald Tribune, and other papers: High-Tech Helmet, but Will It Help Kids Focus?


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 12:48 PM

Cletus has to be played by Johnny Dep - all that boyish innocence with an undercurrent of unbridled sexual awakening and just a touch of insanity due to inbreeding! I spend entirely too much time thinking about Cletus. Need some help here, guys!


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 12:40 PM

Great Song Alex...my sentiments exactly ....on the other hand... different clicks for different chicks ... whatever works ...works! LL


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: wysiwyg
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 11:50 AM

They say an orgasm is a form of applause, but this remote thing sounds like the sound of one hand clapping.

However, Alex, your song is a delight and I, um, applaud your effort... no I mean I PRAISE it... oh you know what I mean!

Be sure Aine gets this one when she comes back. I mean returns... oh you know what I mean!

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: mousethief
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 11:44 AM

This thread still lacks a SONG. Hence , to musicify, I present the following humble offering:

Instant Comin'
tune: Instant Karma (John Lennon)

Instant comin's gonna get you
Gonna knock you off your feet
You hardly recognize your husband
Cos you hardly ever meet
What in the world are you thinking of?
Giving up making love?
What's your husband s'posed to do
When he wants to screw? Yeah, you?

Well we all turn on
But you just click, and you come, and you're done
Yeah we all turn on
On and on and on and on on...

Instant comin's gonna get you
Gonna wipe that smile off your face
You better get yourself together, darlin,
Rejoin the human race!
How on earth are you gonna drive
When the cell-phones give you the jumpin' jive?
And how on earth are you gonna sleep
With the TV remote goin' beep-beep-beep?

Well we all turn on
But you just click, and you come, and you're done Yeah we all turn on
On and on and on and on and on....

Copyright c 2001 Alex E. Riggle. All Rights Reserved.


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 10:48 AM

No, its not.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 10:40 AM

Damn shame Jerry Lewis isn't doing movies anymore, eh Spaw?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Noreen
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 09:50 AM

Since the thread has crept anyway, a pedant's note... Banzai literally means 10,000 years hence 'long life' -> 'cheers' or 'hurrah'.

But I agree with Sinsull about bonsai being possibly more appropriate in this context...

Noreen


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 07:46 AM

I fear what knowledge of Bill's Percy Kilbride would mean so I will not commit on the issue except to say that I think he might better be suited for the role of Paw. Sounds like the kind of guy who would have experience in playing the role. That's my 2 cents in the kettle.........now, I'm NOT saying I know him mind you, just giving you my main thought.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: sledge
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 02:53 AM

What would happen if your neighbours TV remote, garage thingy etc operated on the same frequency. Dinner parties, bar b que's could become kind of interesting, lots of emphatic exclaiming??


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 01:04 AM

.....hmmmm...since Percy Kilbride is no longer with us...

(if you get THAT one, it shows something about you..)


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 12:17 AM

Nah Leej, there's been a change in that. When we ran that thread a few weeks ago about who would play you in the story of your life, I asked Karen........I figured she'd have a good take on it so I asked, "Who would play me? Based on personality and all, who do you think would be best?"............So now we're waiting for an answer from Gene Hackman.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:59 PM

I heard they are casting the movie, Spaw. Trying to get Leslie Nielsen for Paw, and Keanu Reeves for Cletus. Carrottop is apparently set to play all three Reg brothers. They're also apparently casting the pig who played Babe as Cleigh O'Possum, based on the fact that 87% of the viewing public have no idea what a possum looks like, and that 98.3% of those who do know what one looks like don't want to see it 23 feet tall on a movie screen. I also heard that you refused to release the movie rights until they had signed Bruce Willis to play you. Any truth to that?


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:47 PM

Seems to me "Bonsai" is the appropriate exclamation here. Image of shrinking trees...


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:13 PM

Wall, shoot! Hot dang! Thanks, Spaw!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:36 PM

Yeah, I know Hawk. As to the "boys".......That'd be Paw, Cletus, Buford and the Reg Boys. Paw, Cletus, and Buford, are just some good ol' boys that hang around here. They aren't bad guys, just some of the many that managed to slip through the cracks of our great society and now are just doing the best they can. The "Reg" boys are Rick Fielding's three half brothers, all named Reg. They showed up here a few years ago and struck up a freindship with Paw, Cletus, and Buford. Here's a thread you need to read to see how they first came on the scene and a few of their exploits.CLICK All of them have some dietary deficiencies which causes increased flatulence and you may recall how Paw flared one off and the resultant flame scorched an image of Jerry falwell on my garage wall. Just read some of the links in that thread and you begin to get the idea.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:22 PM

That is quite a story, Spaw.

I know it is incredible that I should be unsure about this, but...who is PAW? And who is CLETUS? Are they related to Cleigh O'Possum in any way?

I know. I'm a dumbass. Fine. But please explain...

- LH

By the way, the expression is "BANZAI!!!" It means "Hurrah!" directly translated, and was used as a battle cry since time immemorial by the Japanese, and also as a cheer of enthusiasm at parades, sports events, and public spectacles of all kinds.

Bonsai is a technique of miniaturizing trees, I think.

Of course, the image that comes most readily to mind is a howling mob of insane and fanatical, buck-toothed, bug-eyed, Japanese soldiers, mostly wearing thick-lensed glasses, and waving swords, knives and rifles, charging suicidally into a fusilade of American machine gun fire.

BAN-ZAAAAIIIIIII!!!! AMERICAN YOU DIIIIEEEEE!!! RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!! EEEEEYAAAGGGGHHH!!! BLAM! BLAM!

"Ohhhh, say caint yew seeeeee..."

Great for the John Wayne movies, right?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:02 PM

sigh!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Art Thieme
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:54 PM

Two in the Bush is worth maybe 3 in the hand.


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:48 PM

Paw and Cletus were getting paid to test the male version of course and I guess the guys in the research department figured they had found just the right guys to test some of the stranger ideas. Now Paw had one that had a little voice simulator and when he got aroused, just prior to orgasm, it would shout! It'd have been a lot better if they hadn't picked up a surplus unit from some Japanese Video Game company, because what it yelled was "BONZAI!"

That's enough to put almost anybody off, but when the damn thing shorted out and started giving him orgasms at random intervals only seconds apart............well it wore him out pretty quickly and I gotta' tell you it was truly pathetic to see him lying there on the ground, totally wasted, with his willy popping up and making a little tent in his bibs every few seconds. Of course the little Japanese voice gizmo kept right on screaming "BONZAI" but Ol' Paw just laid there, dick poppin' and body twitchin'.

Cletus may have had it worse though. Evidently they must have had some idea about TV Marketing or something, because the model Cletus had was wired up to a Clapper. This wasn't too bad until Clete showed up at a rock concert and the applause was triggering the damn thing all the time. He ran up on the stage and tried to get people to stop, but he ended up in jail for "Indecent Exposure." They threw him in with a bunch of drunks that were going through the DT's and everytime one of them slapped themselves or the wall, Cletus went off. By the time they took him to the arraignment, he was barely able to stand and when he fell on the floor, the judge whacked down his gavel and of course.................He was lucky the company testers showed up. The judge gave THEM 6 months for "Corrupting a Congenital Idiot."

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:46 PM

Well, if you really want a magnet implanted in your penis...but you'd have to be careful around metal doors and fire hydrants and such.

Myself, I'd rather just read a good book on the Renaissance or count the birds flying by my window.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Metchosin
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:42 PM

Wysiwyg, hate to admit it but we do the song thing in bed too....came running...ROTFLMAO


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:13 PM

I don't like that solo business. I think it should be controled by a magnetic switch implanted in the wall of the vagina. It would then be activated by magnets implanted in penises. Of course men would have to have a tatoo telling what kind of magnet they've go. Discriminaing women prefer Samariums over ALNICOs 2 to 1.


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 07:53 PM

Imagine the chaos one could create if the entire female population were equipped with these implants and you were able to beam out a common signal through local radio stations at say...5:00 pm on a Monday, during the height of rush hour!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 07:00 PM

ohhh, sure!! the 'taint!!!! *grin*,(very old joke)


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Homeless
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:57 PM

Hey Bill - make that three septums. For women anyway - they have one between their... uh... and the... Well, it separates the.. ummm.

We found out about it while my wife was pregnant.


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: mousethief
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:42 PM

I don't like the thought of things articulating together in my nose. That's all.


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:40 PM

MT...what if there IS no later in life?...and how do you know it's 'trivia' till you see it?(oh, I gots trivia whut I ain't begun to impart!...You will have plenty to keep you busy...)

...but I'll refrain...mostly


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: sophocleese
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:31 PM

Oh dear,


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:25 PM

Cletus and Paw were involved in some early testing of this product as I recall...........helluva' story!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: mousethief
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:21 PM

Bill, leave some trivia undisclosed so I can have the joy of discovering it later in life.


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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:20 PM

seems we have 2 septums

"The Vomer is a single relatively flat bone located in the mid-sagittal plane. It articulates with the perpendicular plate of the ethmoid superiorly and together aid in forming the "nasal septum". While it is frequently deflected slightly to the left or right, in general the septum is aligned perpendicularly and divides the the nasal aperture into the the left and right nasal passages. In addition to the Perpendicular Portion, superiorly the Vomer mushrooms out into a pair of Alae which terminate and articulate with the sphenoid in a heart shaped process. Inferiorly the Vomer rests on both the maxillae and the palatines. "


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Mudcat time: 19 October 12:04 PM EDT

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