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BS: Toilet humour???

DigiTrad:
A CLEAN SONG
BANG BANG LULU
SHAVING CREAM
SHINE YOUR BUTTONS WITH BRASSO
SWEET VIOLETS
SWEET VIOLETS 2
SWEET VIOLETS 3


Related threads:
Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock... (29)
Double Entendre Anyone? (220)
(origins) Origins: I'm not in the navy, a sailor boy I sit (23)
(origins) Lyr Req: Sweet Violets (53)
(origins) Origins: George Washington Was a Nice Young Man (5)
Mein Farter's ein lavatory attendant (6)
Lyr Add: The Gruen Watch Song (18)
'Teasing' songs (43)
Lyr Req: Innocent Song turns Bawdy (11)
Lyr Req: 'a baby fell out of the...'/Shaving Cream (12)
Lyr Req: The Farmer / Sweet Violets (4) (closed)
(origins) Origins: Shaving Cream/Shaving Creme (9)
Review: Bang Bang Lulu? For Kids? (5)
Lyr Req: Sweet Violets (6) (closed)


Dave the Gnome 01 Feb 01 - 08:07 AM
Troll 01 Feb 01 - 08:43 AM
Lady McMoo 01 Feb 01 - 09:07 AM
LR Mole 01 Feb 01 - 09:11 AM
Lady McMoo 01 Feb 01 - 09:14 AM
Dave the Gnome 01 Feb 01 - 09:16 AM
Lady McMoo 01 Feb 01 - 09:23 AM
alison 01 Feb 01 - 09:28 AM
Dave the Gnome 01 Feb 01 - 09:32 AM
alison 01 Feb 01 - 09:39 AM
Dave the Gnome 01 Feb 01 - 09:46 AM
GUEST,Fibula Mattock 01 Feb 01 - 09:51 AM
flattop 01 Feb 01 - 10:04 AM
kendall 01 Feb 01 - 10:12 AM
Dave the Gnome 01 Feb 01 - 10:14 AM
GUEST,Bun 01 Feb 01 - 10:18 AM
bill\sables 01 Feb 01 - 10:22 AM
Michael in Swansea 01 Feb 01 - 10:34 AM
Dave the Gnome 01 Feb 01 - 10:46 AM
Big Mick 01 Feb 01 - 11:00 AM
Dave the Gnome 01 Feb 01 - 11:14 AM
Pseudolus 01 Feb 01 - 11:38 AM
mousethief 01 Feb 01 - 12:08 PM
Snuffy 01 Feb 01 - 01:05 PM
Hollowfox 01 Feb 01 - 01:06 PM
Micca 01 Feb 01 - 01:17 PM
GUEST 01 Feb 01 - 02:19 PM
Uncle_DaveO 01 Feb 01 - 03:01 PM
bill\sables 01 Feb 01 - 03:23 PM
bill\sables 01 Feb 01 - 03:47 PM
Liz the Squeak 02 Feb 01 - 05:25 AM
Gervase 02 Feb 01 - 05:34 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 02 Feb 01 - 08:33 AM
The Walrus at work 02 Feb 01 - 08:49 AM
Metchosin 02 Feb 01 - 09:48 AM
Gervase 02 Feb 01 - 10:06 AM
GUEST,Bun 02 Feb 01 - 10:16 AM
Metchosin 02 Feb 01 - 10:19 AM
GUEST,Bun 02 Feb 01 - 10:19 AM
Metchosin 02 Feb 01 - 10:47 AM
Bill D 02 Feb 01 - 11:37 AM
Lonesome EJ 02 Feb 01 - 12:12 PM
Grab 02 Feb 01 - 12:31 PM
R! 02 Feb 01 - 05:19 PM
sophocleese 02 Feb 01 - 05:29 PM
R! 02 Feb 01 - 05:33 PM
Metchosin 02 Feb 01 - 05:38 PM
Snuffy 02 Feb 01 - 06:28 PM
Banjer 02 Feb 01 - 08:51 PM
rangeroger 03 Feb 01 - 12:33 AM
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Subject: Toilet humour???
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 08:07 AM

Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'


I've just visited the little boys room (more info than you need I know - but we all do it!) and had to replace the toilet roll AGAIN!!!! Three times now in three days!

Why oh why oh why oh why are some people incapable of performing simple tasks????? IT MAKES ME MAD!!!!

And why are us blokes supposed to put the seat down when we have finished? Why can't you women lift the seat up when you have finished instead??? Nothing worse than having to lift up a warm bog seat....

These are the important issues...

We need answers....

Dave the Inquisitive Gnome


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Troll
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 08:43 AM

YOU replaced the bog roll?
WAY TO GO, DAVE!
Now they'll know that we know how to do it and they'll expect it from now on.
Why do we have to put the seat down?
It shows that we "care" and it's a damn sight cheaper that chocolates and flowers.
Sheesh! Do we have to tell you young guys EVERYTHING?

troll


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Lady McMoo
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 09:07 AM

My word! You use a lot of toilet paper Dave!

Yours in admiration,

mcmoo


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: LR Mole
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 09:11 AM

Because you have one of those extra "u"'s in the word "humor".BUT as a fellow mechanical whiz (ha ha) who is the only one capable of manipulating the TP dispenser in a household of four (five if you count the dog, who isn't really involved) I begin another Mudcat poll: is the roll to be put hanging down next to the wall or over the top AWAY from the wall? I'm a wall-side guy, myself.


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Lady McMoo
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 09:14 AM

I'm over the top...

mcmoo


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 09:16 AM

Away....

and I always tidy it up so the perforations are aligned (sad or what???)

and I didn't use it all myself McMoo - honest!!!

(Why McMoo BTW - I think it's a brill name)

DtG


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Lady McMoo
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 09:23 AM

Thanks Dave! ...it's short for McElroy Moore.

mcmoo


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: alison
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 09:28 AM

wall,

ever tried a padded loo seat?... interesting sensation....lol

slainte

alison


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 09:32 AM

My wife went into the ladies in a lovely old pub in Bilston, Staffs. About 30 seconds later she came out muttering about thinking again if they wanted her to go anywhere near the sponge padded, pink vinyl toilet seat...YUK.

DtG


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: alison
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 09:39 AM

it's very odd... the first time I encountered one I wasn't expecting it..... sat down and thought I'm being absorbed into this loo........ I was expecting the usual hard seat... and kept sinking into this thing... so weird an experience that I dragged the blokes in the band into the ladies loos to experience it too...lol...... (sorry alan... your street cred is gone for good...lol)....

they didn't have them in the gents......

slainte

alison


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 09:46 AM

they didn't have them in the gents......

Just as well realy;-)

DtG


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 09:51 AM

wall side.

Padded WHAT? Isn't that unhygenic?


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: flattop
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 10:04 AM

Come on guys and gals. This is a music site. What's with the toilet humour?


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: kendall
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 10:12 AM

In that little white washed building by the barn
The most important building on the farm
Grandpa cursed the devils soul
When his pipe fell down the hole
In that little white washed building by the barn...


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 10:14 AM

Come on guys and gals. This is a music site. What's with the toilet humour?

It's a cafe init??? Isn't it compulsory to have toilets in a cafe???

To keep it on track though - just in case - I'll go and pay a visit now - I'll whistle Handels WaterCloset Music to let everyone know I am there. (The lock broke weeks ago...)

Any other suggestions? A bit of rock and toilet-roll? Bog Bad John?

Oh deary, deary me, I must be bored....

DtG


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: GUEST,Bun
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 10:18 AM

My gramma, had a polystyrene cover on her toilet. It was always warm to sit on and kind of an uncomfortable feeling that you had just sat down seconds after someone else.
i would like to point out that the first thread I ever started was about "constipation" this is not toilet humor, but I had lots of strange advice on how to cope with it - thank god I am not a mathematicion.
Bun


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: bill\sables
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 10:22 AM

I think the only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one.


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Michael in Swansea
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 10:34 AM

Over the top.
While we're on the subject, a couple of weeks ago one of the bars in Swansea opened a "twin pan loo" for the ladies. One cubicle two bog pans. Well?

Mike


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 10:46 AM

I thought My gramma, had a polystyrene cover on her toilet and the only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one were both brilliant song titles (where are you, Micca???)

...but where does Twin Pan Loo come into it? Isn't he a short green stripey guy in Star Wars - The Phantom Menace???

DtG, getting more and more brain dead by the second...


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Big Mick
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 11:00 AM

So this auld lad is sitting enjoying his morning constitutional on 1/2 of a two hole outhouse. In walks this fella who sits down beside him and they have a wonderful conversation. The auld boy stands up and as he does so a 25 cent piece falls out of his pocket and down the hole. "Bad luck" sez the other fella, as the auld boy takes out a $20.00 bill and throws it down the hole. "You damned fool" sez he, "what the hell did you do that for?" The auld lad sez "You don't think I am dumb enough to go down there for 25 cents, do you?"


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 11:14 AM

Midnight Cowboys - in a Lancashire setting - were the blokes who came round in a horse and cart every night emptying the contents of peoples 'privies' into the cart before taking it away to be desposed of elsewhere...

One warm summer night old Bert was shovelling away in his shirt sleves and knocked his jacket into the cart.

"Bugger" he says as he puts his arm in...

"Oh, bloody 'ell" says young George, retching, "It's only a jacket - can yer not get a new 'un?"

"Aye," says Bert, fumbling about, "I could, but I've left me butties in't pocket..."


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Pseudolus
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 11:38 AM

Drunk gets up from the bar and goes into the mens room. A few minutes later there's a blood-curdling scream from inside. A few minutes later another scream. After the third scream the bartender goes to the door and yells, "Is everything ok in there?". The drunk yells out, "I'm trying to flush but every time I try, something reaches up a sqeezes the hell out of my balls!!" The bartender goes in and says, "Ya damned fool, you're sitting on the mop bucket!!!!"

Frank

P.S. Is this thread creep, or a creepy thread? who knows!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: mousethief
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 12:08 PM

Over the top. Definitely. Also, I too am the only person in the house capable of changing the roll. Or turning out the bathroom lights. Which is why I'm installing a timer knob for the damned things.


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Snuffy
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 01:05 PM

Wall side, definitely. 3-year-olds like making the toilet roll spin round and round - and guess what happens if it's not wall-side!


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Hollowfox
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 01:06 PM

I was raised Wall-side, my husband was raised over the top. For twenty years I put up with over the top behavior, and when he left, I told the kids that whoever changed the roll got to put it on either way, as they chose. There are enough "do it the right way" chores in the house without adding one more. (georgeward's lady wife told me to choose my battles wisely when it came to teenagers.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Micca
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 01:17 PM

Dave the Gnome, are you referring to "Flushed from the bathroom of your heart?? by any chance...I might add the warm seat as a verse.. if I can see how...mmmmmmm????


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 02:19 PM

Legman reported a joke book printed on a roll of toilet paper. Is that what disappeared? Thank heavens they didn't print sheet music on it, as all those sharps would make it as bad as corncobs to wipe with.


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 03:01 PM

I'm an over-the-top man, by conviction. Indeed, so much so that if I find a roll installed wall-side I will take it out and fix it right!

Dave Oesterreich, the Loo Pedant


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Subject: Lyr Add: FLUSH THE MAGIC TOILET (Ian Mills)
From: bill\sables
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 03:23 PM

FLUSH THE MAGIC TOILET Ian Mills

Flush was a magic toilet the finest in the land
With golden bells and cherubs all around his ornate pan
His pipes were made of silver his cistern was the same
And down came crystal waters when you pulled that golden chain

Flush the magic toilet lived by the sea
And flourished in the autumn mist in a land called Peterlee
Flush the magic toilet flowed into the sea
Polluting all the beeches for the folk like you and me

Little Suzie Snodgrass used Flush every day
She'd sit on him for hours just to pass the time away
She'd talk to him of wondrous things and marvelled at his wit
And she'd bring him tins of Harpic every time she had a sit

Little Suzie Snodgrass adored that magic loo
And Flush loved little Suzie with a passion deep and true
He'd sit there in his little hut and wait for her to come
And how his pipes would tremble at the touch of Suzie's bum

Flush lived in this little hut outside Suzie's door
And cold November's icy winds they made poor Suzie sore
With chilblains on her backside and frostbite in her hands
She got herself an indoor loo with a centrally heated pan

Flush was so broken hearted when he found he'd lost his friend
Took an overdose of Harpic and went clean round the bend
And then one chilly Winters night Flush it's sad to say
Climbed into his own sewerage pipe and flushed himself away

Cheers Bill


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Subject: Lyr Add: LITTLE RUSTIC HUT (Watt Nichol)
From: bill\sables
Date: 01 Feb 01 - 03:47 PM

LITTLE RUSTIC HUT Watt Nichol.

Tune Garden where the Praties Grow

In a little rural village that's where I was born
With silver flowing streams and fields of flowing corn
But in my childhood memories the thing I most recall
Was the little rustic hut that stood against the garden wall

There were flowers in our garden a pleasure for to see
Pansies and marigolds and even some sweet peas
But nowhere in the garden did they grow so thick and tall
But round the little rustic hut that stood against the garden wall

I often used to curse when just a tiny tot
'Cos last thing at night I had to use a little pot
But I cursed even more when Winter snows began to fall
I had to use the little hut that stood against the garden wall

First time I saw it I never shall forget
A large hole in the ground and a board on which to sit
A large hole for the adults and for me one very small
In that little rustic hut that stood against the garden wall

As I sat on my little hole one night I had a plan
If I could cover my father's hole I'd prove myself a man
But I jack-knifed through the large hole into the pit I did fall
In the little rustic hut that stood against the garden wall

My father often came home drunk when I was only young
And from my bedroom window I could hear the song he sung
You can't come into this house I would hear my mother call
Go sleep in the rustic hut that stands against the garden wall

Though the house was bared and shuttered it was burgled twice or more
And I often got to thinking there's no lock upon the door
But they never thought to burgle no they never stole at all
From the little rustic hut that stood against the garden wall

Cheers Bill


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 05:25 AM

Tune: Little Black Stove.

In the little shed down the back,
That's where Grandad used to sit.
When the smoke came out the shack,
Then we knew he's having a cigarette

Well, I got a bit flustered by the end....

Micca, don't even think about it.

And if this is a music site, what about all the verses of 'Oh dear what can the matter be?'

And ours is upright, on a spike. No walls near enough and I refuse to turn 180 degrees, wrenching my back, spraining my wrists and dislocating my shoulders to get it off the top of the cistern. Whose stupid idea is it to put loo roll holders behind the loo. Daft or what?!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Gervase
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 05:34 AM

Sorry, but this was irresistible:

Please don't burn our shit-house down,
Mother has promised to pay.
Father's away on the ocean wave
And sister's in the family way.

Brother dear has gonorrhea
And times is fucking hard;
So please don't burn our shit-house down
Or we'll all have to shit in the yard.

Ah, I love those ol' tearjerkers!


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Subject: Lyr Add: SWEET VIOLETS
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 08:33 AM

I'm sure I posted this version of Sweet Violets to an earlier thread but it's not one of the three in the DT. One of the first "naughty" songs I learned which my grandpa taught me (to grannie's disgust!).

SWEET VIOLETS
(Dedicated to the workers at Minworth sewage works)

They say that your father's a muckman
And works in the middens all night
And when he comes home in the evening
He's covered all over in—

CHORUS: Sweet Violets
Sweeter than the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
In sweet violets

When he comes home for his breakfast
There in his chair he will sit
Have four or five mouthfuls of breakfast
And four or five mouthfuls of— CHORUS

They say that he's kind to his children
To please him they try all their might
But when he's dead, they will bury him
In four or five acres of— CHORUS

RtS


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Subject: Lyr Add: SHINE YOUR BUTTONS WITH BRASSO
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 08:49 AM

An addition to Roger's offering

SHINE YOUR BUTTONS WITH BRASSO

My old dad was a hard working sewerman
He shoveled by day and by night
And when he got home in the evening
He stank of the smell of the ..

Shine your buttons with Brasso
It's only three ha'pence a tin
You can buy it or nick it from Woolworths
But I don't think they've got any in.

(verse forgotten)

Some say that he died of a fever
Some say that he died of a fit
But I know what my old dad died of
He died of the smell of the ..

Shine your buttons with Brasso
It's only three ha'pence a tin
You can buy it or nick it from Woolworths
But I don't think they've got any in.

Some say that he's buried in gravel
Some say that he's buried in grit
But I know what my old man's buried in
He's buried in six foot of ...

Shine your buttons with Brasso
It's only three ha'pence a tin
You can buy it or nick it from Woolworths
But I don't think they've got any in.

Sorry I couldn't remember verse 2.

Regards

Walrus


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Metchosin
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 09:48 AM

a definite over the top, especially for those occasional night visits.

It's frustrating fiddling around in the dark, trying to find the leading edge, especially if the despenser is recessed in the wall.

And please lads, seat down, there is nothing worse than expecting to find familiar firm resistance, only to discover the shock of your knees at ear level and your bottom dipped in icy water. It takes more than flowers and chocolate to put one in a good mood after that. (tiny women have been known to disappear and come back later with their attorneys)

On the other hand, for a male there is also nothing worse than having to take a desparate whizz only to discover a fluffy toilet seat cover which refuses to stay up mid-stream. Standing on one foot whilst holding the lid open with the other, is a challenge to both balance and aim. And kneeling holding the lid up with your forehead would, only appeal to some religious groups.

Although, an acceptable alternative could be the bath tub, your aim doesn't have to be good and you can always rinse it out if you care to. This will depend on the degree of mutual contempt in the relationship. Or alternatively, you could follow the path of my cousin who sleep walked to the clothes closet to relieve himself.


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Gervase
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 10:06 AM

I wonder if your cousin is related to a pal of mine. In the time I've known him he's pissed in or on: (1) a wardrobe; (2) an ornamental punch bowl in someone's china cabinet; (3) a telephone; (4) my head.
A strange lad, it's true, but it's amazing how much you can forgive a good singer!


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: GUEST,Bun
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 10:16 AM


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Metchosin
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 10:19 AM

ROFLMAO ......what can one say......perhaps a little Bacchanalian like my cousin as well?


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: GUEST,Bun
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 10:19 AM

whoops..........used the keyboard not the mouse, and before I knew it .........gone.

I once knew someone who was sleeping in a large hall with many others, after a hard drinking, singing night he got up onto the stage and proceeded to pee on all those in range - thankful i was not among them!
Bun


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Metchosin
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 10:47 AM

To the tune of Viva la Companie

Archibald jumped up and down on the porch
He was in agony
He jumped up and down
And he clamped on his crotch
He had to go badly

Open the door
Open the door
Open the door
I can't hold it no more
Open the door
Open the door
I have to take a pee.

songs of my youth....


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Subject: Lyr Add: THE PASSING OF THE BACKHOUSE (J W Riley)
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 11:37 AM

THE PASSING OF THE BACKHOUSE

When memory keeps me company and moves to smiles and tears,
A weather-beaten object looms through the mist of years.
Behind the house and barn it stood, a half a mile or more,
And hurrying feet a path had made straight to its swinging door.
Its architecture was a type of simple classic art,
But in the tragedy of life it played a leading part;
And oft the passing traveler drove slow and heaved a sigh
To see the modest hired girl slip out with glances shy.

We had our posy garden that the women loved so well.
I loved it too, but better still I loved the stronger smell
That filled the evening breezes so full of homely cheer,
And told the night-o'ertaken tramp that human life was near.
On lazy August afternoons it made a little bower,
Delightful, where my grandsire sat and whiled away an hour;
For there the summer morning its very cares entwined,
And berry bushes redded in the steaming soil behind.

All day fat spiders spun their webs to catch the buzzing flies
That flitted to and from the house, where Ma was making pies.
And once a swarm of hornets bold had built a palace there,
And stung my unsuspecting aunt—I must not tell where;
Then father took a flaming pole—that was a happy day—
He nearly burned the building up, but the hornets left to stay.
When summer blooms began to fade and winter to carouse,
We banked the little building with a heap of hemlock boughs.

But when the crust was on the snow and sullen skies were gray,
In sooth, the building was no place where one could wish to stay.
We did our duties promptly there, one purpose swayed the mind;
We tarried not, nor lingered long, on what we left behind.
The torture of the icy seat would make a Spartan sob,
For needs must scrape the goose-flesh with a lacerating cob,
That from a frost-encrusted nail hung pendant by a string.
My father was a frugal man and wasted not a thing.

When grandpa had to "go out back" and make his morning call,
We'd bundle up the dear old man with muffler and a shawl.
I knew the hole on which he sat—'twas padded all around,
And once I dared to sit there—'twas all too wide I found;
My loins were all too little and I jack-knifed there to stay.
They had to come and get me out or I'd have passed away.
Then father said ambition was a thing boys should shun,
And I must use the children's hole till childhood's days were done.

But still I marvel at the craft that cut those holes so true;
The baby hole, and the slender hole that fitted Sister Sue.
That dear old country landmark; I've tramped around a bit,
And in the lap of luxury my lot has been sit;
But e'er I die I'll eat the fruit of trees I robbed of yore,
Then seek the shanty where my name is carved upon the door.
I ween the old familiar smell will soothe my jaded soul;
I'm now a man, but none the less, I'll try the children's hole.

James Whitcomb Riley


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 12:12 PM

the definition of TORQUE-

This phenomenon occurs to many men the morning after imbibing a quantity of beer. The only option in this case is to sit down to take a whiz. TORQUE is what raises your heels off of the floor when you do this.


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Grab
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 12:31 PM

Hmm, seat up or down? According to Metchosin, women'll sit down without checking where they're sitting. Now me, I tend to close the lid as well - what's the female response to this? Just pee on the fluffy cover? ;-)

Incidentally, closing the loo seat and lid isn't out of courtesy, it's force of habit. We had a cupboard above the loo where we kept various toiletry stuff. After one toothbrush too many dropped down the pan, I decided enough was enough...

To follow up the stories of strange places, I once peed in a rucksack whilst sleepwalking - the owner was not impressed the following morning!

Grab.


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: R!
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 05:19 PM

Over the top.

Seat and lid down after using. NO fluffy covers - ick.

Why do grown up people refer to the toilet as the little boys/girls room? This is not a joke - I've always wondered about that phrase.


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: sophocleese
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 05:29 PM

My father-in-law stopped using the phrase "little boys room" after a long car journey. He walked into his son's house and said he had to use the little boy's room. His four year old grandson took him by the hand and showed him where he slept, where he kept his clothes, and every toy in his room. My poor father-in-law was in agony before his wife rescued him.


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: R!
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 05:33 PM

Funny story!


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Metchosin
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 05:38 PM

Grab, only in the dark in my own house. *BG*

And I have to leave the lid up, the dogs couldn't cope if denied access to their favourite watering hole. No fluffy covers, my husband wouldn't be able to cope either.


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Snuffy
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 06:28 PM

And if any of you Yanks come to Britain you'll find that the bathroom is the room with a bath in it. It may also have a toilet, but don't count on it - most WCs are in a small room of their own.


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: Banjer
Date: 02 Feb 01 - 08:51 PM

What's with all this talk of fluffy covers and padded seats. Are none among us who belong to the group that lobby and are active in the preservation of wooden toilet seats?

Known in formal circles as 'THE BIRCH JOHN SOCIETY'


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Subject: RE: BS: Toilet humour???
From: rangeroger
Date: 03 Feb 01 - 12:33 AM

Over the top.

This summer I read a story about a 75 year old man in Virginia who hadjust come back from the store and was preparing to sit on the porchand play his banjo.He decided to use the outhouse first and it collapsed while he was in it. He had apparently built the outhouse himself 50 years ago and it was still in the original condition.

He lay there for 3 days until the post man realized he hadn't picked up his mail and walked around back to check the back door.He then heard feeble noises from the outhouse and found the old man caught in the shattered boards.He was very dehydrated and had some broken ribs but was otherwise ok. He hadn't fallen all the way down.

Afterwards he stated that maybe it was time to build a new outhouse.

rr


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