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BS: Relationship with an older woman

GUEST 12 Feb 00 - 06:49 PM
katlaughing 12 Feb 00 - 06:55 PM
GUEST 12 Feb 00 - 06:59 PM
katlaughing 12 Feb 00 - 07:02 PM
katlaughing 12 Feb 00 - 07:02 PM
wildlone 12 Feb 00 - 07:05 PM
catspaw49 12 Feb 00 - 07:12 PM
MMario 12 Feb 00 - 07:25 PM
MAG (inactive) 12 Feb 00 - 07:50 PM
paddymac 12 Feb 00 - 08:27 PM
Hagbardr 12 Feb 00 - 09:20 PM
wysiwyg 12 Feb 00 - 09:42 PM
Dave (the ancient mariner) 12 Feb 00 - 09:48 PM
Clinton Hammond2 12 Feb 00 - 09:50 PM
alison 12 Feb 00 - 09:51 PM
Dave (the ancient mariner) 12 Feb 00 - 09:53 PM
Little Neophyte 12 Feb 00 - 09:59 PM
GUEST,Guest 12 Feb 00 - 10:14 PM
MK 12 Feb 00 - 11:51 PM
Chet W. 13 Feb 00 - 12:13 AM
Llanfair 13 Feb 00 - 04:25 AM
emily rain 13 Feb 00 - 04:55 AM
GUEST 13 Feb 00 - 08:43 AM
GUEST,Rich 13 Feb 00 - 09:23 AM
GUEST 13 Feb 00 - 09:36 AM
jeffp 13 Feb 00 - 10:07 AM
katlaughing 13 Feb 00 - 10:19 AM
GUEST,Frankie 13 Feb 00 - 10:25 AM
Abby Sale 13 Feb 00 - 10:40 AM
kendall 13 Feb 00 - 12:18 PM
Little Neophyte 13 Feb 00 - 01:14 PM
GUEST,spider tom 13 Feb 00 - 03:38 PM
Eric the Viking 13 Feb 00 - 03:54 PM
Rick Fielding 13 Feb 00 - 04:32 PM
skarpi 13 Feb 00 - 04:52 PM
bob schwarer 13 Feb 00 - 04:58 PM
bflat 13 Feb 00 - 05:06 PM
WyoWoman 13 Feb 00 - 05:36 PM
Mbo 13 Feb 00 - 06:42 PM
GUEST 13 Feb 00 - 06:52 PM
GUEST 13 Feb 00 - 07:12 PM
Lonesome EJ 13 Feb 00 - 08:09 PM
catspaw49 13 Feb 00 - 08:12 PM
momnopp 13 Feb 00 - 09:18 PM
Llanfair 14 Feb 00 - 05:09 AM
Dave (the ancient mariner) 14 Feb 00 - 07:28 AM
GUEST,An older woman 14 Feb 00 - 07:59 AM
GUEST,Terry Allan Hall (a guest?...I'm honored!) 14 Feb 00 - 08:39 AM
annamill 14 Feb 00 - 10:09 AM
Fortunato 14 Feb 00 - 10:37 AM
Mbo 14 Feb 00 - 10:46 AM
Bert 14 Feb 00 - 10:47 AM
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GUEST,Neil Lowe 14 Feb 00 - 02:06 PM
Peg 14 Feb 00 - 02:54 PM
Peg 14 Feb 00 - 02:55 PM
suze 14 Feb 00 - 03:56 PM
Marymac90 14 Feb 00 - 05:13 PM
Max 14 Feb 00 - 05:33 PM
Llanfair 14 Feb 00 - 05:36 PM
DougR 14 Feb 00 - 06:09 PM
bob schwarer 14 Feb 00 - 07:40 PM
harpgirl 14 Feb 00 - 07:55 PM
Troll 14 Feb 00 - 08:02 PM
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Allan C. 15 Feb 00 - 08:47 AM
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Little Neophyte 15 Feb 00 - 09:17 PM
sophocleese 15 Feb 00 - 09:35 PM
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Hagbardr 15 Feb 00 - 09:59 PM
WyoWoman 15 Feb 00 - 10:31 PM
Mbo 15 Feb 00 - 10:46 PM
harpgirl 15 Feb 00 - 10:49 PM
Jeri 16 Feb 00 - 05:21 PM
sophocleese 16 Feb 00 - 05:51 PM
Magpie 16 Feb 00 - 07:11 PM
Fortunato 17 Feb 00 - 09:08 AM
GUEST,Litle Joe Borg 17 Feb 00 - 08:53 PM
Sorcha 17 Feb 00 - 09:04 PM
GUEST,Uncle Fester 19 Feb 00 - 02:24 AM
McGrath of Harlow 19 Feb 00 - 10:27 AM
McGrath of Harlow 19 Feb 00 - 11:15 AM
Abby Sale 19 Feb 00 - 11:30 AM
McGrath of Harlow 19 Feb 00 - 12:59 PM
Little Neophyte 19 Feb 00 - 02:27 PM
GUEST 02 Mar 00 - 05:06 AM
KingBrilliant 02 Mar 00 - 06:52 AM
Wavestar 02 Mar 00 - 04:39 PM
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Subject: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 06:49 PM

I have deliberatly withheld my usual name here in asking this question.

I'm 32, she's 43 and I like her a lot.

Are there any reasons to suppose that the age difference might be a barrier, or should I just go for it?

Any thoughts appreciated.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 06:55 PM

Well, I am going out on a limb because you posted as just GUEST. Hopefully this isn't a setup. Hopefully it involves who I think it does. So...here goes:

If you both are okay with it, that is ALL that matters! Go for it. In this supposedly enlightened age, any two people who are happy together should be encouraged, as long as they are both of legal age. Go for it!

Let us know how it turns out, though, okay?

kat


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 06:59 PM

It's not a set up - and thanks for that


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 07:02 PM

Good, you are welcome. Forgot to say that 9 years doesn't even count as a difference of age in my book!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 07:02 PM

And of course, I also can't subtract! Make that 11 yrs. **BG**


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: wildlone
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 07:05 PM

11 years is a lot if one is a teen,but as we grow older age means less. What really counts in any relationship is how you feel about each other. Best of luck mate, don't rush.
dave putting his head on the block with kat.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 07:12 PM

Now that we're done with kat's math lesson..........

Once both parties get past 25 or thereabouts, it becomes less and less of an obstacle. Yes, the subject will always be there, but its not the defining part of the relationship. If it is, its not a relationship of love.

2 cents

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: MMario
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 07:25 PM

go for it. there aren't enough chances for love in this world to miss one.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 07:50 PM

I once had a 6 year relationship where I was 16 years older. Our emotional age was about the same. was great.

MA


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: paddymac
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 08:27 PM

I wholeheartedly concur with the thrust of all the earlier comments. My guess is that all of us have commented with a supposition of a more-or-less conventional relationship, aside from the age factor. My question is would we truly offer the same words of encouragement if the variance was something other than age? What if it involved gender, race, religion, or any of several other societal schisms? Our response ought to be the same in such circumstances, but would it?


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Hagbardr
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 09:20 PM

When I was 19, I had a close to yearlong relationship with a woman 11 years older than me. We're broken up now but it was well worth it. There's a lot you learn from someone with more experience than you. A funny thing about the age differences... like when she reminds you that she was a senior in high school when you were in first grade.

Hagbard


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 09:42 PM

Hey, go for it, but many women start experiencing some real fun with hormones starting about now and you need to know who the real woman is under that and keep a focus on that once the stuff starts, and not bail out. Trust me. I'm there now. every woman I've talked to trying to understand it has just been there too. And it's not just the big M. A lot of readjusting goes on. (It also can masquerade as other weird stuff.) We're worth hangig in there with!!!!! And we go on forever!

IMHO-- If you're a stay-for-breakfast kinda guy, you're a jewel, hop into the crown!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 09:48 PM

I have to agree with everyone else. Go for it mate, there is precious little difference if you love each other. Just remember pregnancy is hard on the girl around this age; but not impossible if you both want kids...I wish you both all the very best of luck. May it last forever said the sailor, amen. Yours, Aye. Dave


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 09:50 PM

Older women.... Mmmmmmmm....
Ever since I hit puberty I've had this fantasy about an older woman... *evil grin* Oh ya!

Well I had that fantasy just the other night, and man, I gotta tell ya... that woman? She's getting OLDER!! LOL!! I better hurry up and find her 'cause I don't want to whispering sweet nothings into a Miracle Ear...

;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: alison
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 09:51 PM

Go for it... age doesn't matter.... good luck

slainte

alison


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 09:53 PM

Forgot to add...Charlie Chaplin and his wife..and Celine Dione and her husband there's more than 11 years appart there...


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 09:59 PM

When I was 35 I got involved with someone who was 24 and we live together for 3 years.
My biggest issue was getting over our age difference.
His biggest issue was dealing with his parents who had cut him off because of our relationship.
After 3 years of working through those initial issues,
His biggest issue was "let's get married and raise a family".
My biggest issue was I am not in love.

Little Neo


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 10:14 PM

Been there, done that. Ex-wife claimed to be 8 years older than me, was actually 11.

From where I sit (sat?), the younger male has a much easier time dealing with unconventional age difference than the older woman.

Ours deteriorated into extreme, nasty, eventually pathological jealousy -- based, I'm sure, on the fact that she started stressing about a few wrinkles, grey hair, a sag or two. This stuff meant nothing to me, everything to her, she began fixating on the idea that I was on the prowl for some young thing. (I wasn't.)

And then that unforgettable day when the supermarket clerk told her to "let your son carry this stuff."

Sure, it can work -- and often does. But before you commit, be very, very sure that SHE is going to be happy and content 10 years from now....

andy


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: MK
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 11:51 PM

When I was in my mid 20s I was involved with a woman 9 years my senior. Best physical relationship ever, not to mention a wonderful intellectual/emotional relationship as well. Lasted for a couple of years. I think of her quite often to this day.

My advice to you: If it feels good, and, really comfortable...Go for it!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Chet W.
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 12:13 AM

When I was in college I ended up, through a series of wild circumstances too long to tell, on a blind weekend date with Jane Fonda, who was several years older than me. We had some good times, re-enacting scenes from Barbarella (let me stop right there), but after a few years we realized that we just had different life-interests and went our separate ways. I still hear from her once in a while - seems this Ted Turner business is all money. Seriously, I have never had a serious relationship with a woman younger than me. I guess I was in some ways ahead of the curve on maturity level and artistic zeal. Must say it has worked out well. Guest, only you know what's right -- do it.

Chet


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Llanfair
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 04:25 AM

Jim's 9 years younger than me, and we've been married 10 years. I've just hit the "big M" and Jim seems to be tolerating it OK!!!!
He says the advantage of older women is that the breakfasts are great!!!!
I was married twice before, to people my own age, and neither of them appreciated and valued me like Jim does. They also stopped talking to me after the first couple of years, about anything interesting, that is.
Jim's just getting his head round the fact that, at 43, he's a step-grandad!!!!!
Hwyl, Bron.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: emily rain
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 04:55 AM

i seem to have a (delicious) habit of being the younger woman. but i'm still below catspaw's watermark age, so take my words with a grain of salt.

i agree with everyone else. either you'll run into difficulties or you won't. that's gonna be true of anyone you date, so relax and follow your heart. you have so much to learn from each other! take every lesson of every day as a gift.

if you succeed in deepening a friendship, how can that be a mistake?


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 08:43 AM

Thanks for all the kind comments, you really are a very nice bunch of people.

I'm going for it, and we'll see what happens...


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,Rich
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 09:23 AM

I am 10 years older than my wife. Second marriage for both of us. I guess I'll be the one to throw cold water on the discussion; if you have to ask what other people think about YOUR potential relationship, then you aren't ready for it. And possibly she deserves better....


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 09:36 AM

Rich,

I don't have to ask other people at all. When you're thinking about something (which is for me) a big decision, it's nice to be able to ask people who you trust for their opinions.

As you have no idea who either of us are, the suggestion that she deserves better is misplaced and mean spirited.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: jeffp
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 10:07 AM

Go for it and give each other a nice life. Expect problems in any relationship. Just treat each other with respect and maturity and you'll end up stronger as a result.

Also, cook breakfast for her once in a while.

jeffp


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 10:19 AM

Ummm, jeffp? Wotcha doin' this mornin'??**BG**


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,Frankie
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 10:25 AM

Dear Guest,

The only advice I'll give you is to keep your eyes open. When I was forty I met the love of my life (up to that point). She was twenty seven and we fell madly in love. Shortly into our relationship we discovered that we had very different ideas about how our futures would go. She was determined to have a big family and that was not something I wanted at all. We agreed, consequently, that ours would not be a long affair and reassured each other that we would always love each other no matter how it ended. Well, the longer we stayed together the closer we became and we kept postponing the inevitable. After four years, the last two of which were filled with painful breakups that never took and at the last unsucessful attempts to salvage our deep friendship, we broke it off completely. It launched me into a depression that took me more than a year to emerge from. I found out, subsequently, that she had had a similar experience.

Last year we resumed our friendship via snail mail (she moved to another state)and I was genuinely happy to learn that she had started the family that she always wanted and was (and is) doing great. As for me, I have found my dear one who is, not necessarily by design, exactly my age.

Take what you will from this tale Guest, but I have to agree with Chet "...only you know what is right."

Best Wishes, Frankie


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Abby Sale
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 10:40 AM

Personally, I think it all works out either way:

O, an she be young, how happy I shall be!
If that she be auld, the sooner she will die.

filename[ BROMBES3

We should always seek the Folk Wisdom for true answers in these matters.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: kendall
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 12:18 PM

If someone sticks his nose into your relationship, my advice to you is the same as it would have been to Clinton (if he had asked) NON OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 01:14 PM

Guest, to add to my earlier posting there was much joy, laughter, friendship and growth in the 3 years I spent with Jeff.
Though we did not become life long partners, we both learned a great deal from each other.
I have deep appreciation for the time we did spend together.
Jeff treated me like a queen.
He had never been in a significant relations before and I found his inexperience charming.
In many ways I enjoyed being the older woman. Yet we worked together as equal partners in most aspects of our relationship.
It can work. And if it doesn't last forever, it can still be a magical experience.
All the best,
Little Neo


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,spider tom
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 03:38 PM

In a world of toil and trouble,and multi-story rage, It would seem a might peculier, to waffle on, on age. Who could get it on as often,or up, as of't you can. True, the older woman, will outlast the youngest man.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 03:54 PM

You go for it. I am never one to let too much of my real personality or private life out cos it's private, but my wife if almost 12 years younger than me. We would spend every minute together if we could,we've got 2 rug rats and have been together for 16 years- not one day wasted. Go for it and enjoy your life together if you can make it work-good luck. Eric. I would'nt have my life any other way at all, but then that's us.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 04:32 PM

Boy, the difficulties in finding a compatible partner are huge. Most of the folks that I know, who've reached 40 and find themselves solo, but open to a partnership, are knee deep in a dilema. They may not be exactly sure what they want in a significant other, but they sure know what they DON'T want. It becomes a question of just how much you're willing to compromise even before a relationship can start. Things like personal politics, religion, and general lifestyle choices are just so much more important now than they would have been at 20, 25, or even 30. The bottom line is we are all given certain qualities with which to engage in barter with the opposite (or same) sex. Some have physical beauty, some, great dispositions, some lots of money, some, a great talent at something. (The folks with ALL of those, tend not to be bothered with folk music anyway, so screw 'em!) When you start throwing in age restrictions, you're just making a difficult situation even harder. Remember, the ONLY people who care about the age thing are relatives and the odd friend. Same with religious differences. I lived with a woman less than half my age (40 - 19) for a couple of years, and other than a bit of self-consciousness on my part when I'd be around her parents (who were about 5 years older than me) 'twas a good relationship. Some of my friends thought it was scandalous (and I heard the term cradle robber occasionally) but obviously they didn't know hard it was to find someone who:

A. Loved folk and classical music

B. Was exceptionally well-informed, had a killer sense of humour, and had OPINIONS.

C. Felt the same way I do about animals (without being a vegetarian)

D. Could tolerate me.

(the big issue we had was children.. I would not have wanted to change her mind on that score, and mine had been made up for many years.)

Who cares about a few years either way?

Rick


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: skarpi
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 04:52 PM

My dear guest, do you love her, does she love you ? . If so then go for it becouse love dont ask for age, I mean love is love . All the best skarpi Iceland.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: bob schwarer
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 04:58 PM

Child bride is 8 years younger than me. We've been working at it 43 years and it gets better every year. Different religeons, one Yankee one rebel and a herd of other reasons why it wouldn't work. But it does.

Bob S.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: bflat
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 05:06 PM

When you love someone it should be unconditional. Does anything else need to be said?


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: WyoWoman
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 05:36 PM

Dear "guest," My guess is if you were older it wouldn't even come up as a concern. Men have been involving themselves with younger women for eons and it is usually seen as an acknowledgment of the man's virility. The pheonomenon of women being older than men is newer. Previously there were occasional relationships like this, but nothing that could be called a trend. Now, that's all changing.

I lived for three years with a man 17 years my junior and it was mostly pretty great. Housekeeping was a problem because he simply didn't do it and if I asked him to pick his crap up off the floor of the living room, kitchen, bathroom ... EVERYwhere ... I started feeling like his mother. But if I didn't ask him, I felt put-upon and resentful.

And then there was the time he was injured and the nurses at the hospital said I could go in and see my son now. I just looked them in the eye and said, "He's not my son, he's my lover," and watched their eyeballs go sproing!!!! I felt it was an important moment in their educational process.

He was romantically inexperienced but lively and that was plenty fun.

Ultimately, though, it was the M word that broke us up. I've been married and I didn't take to it. He wanted the marriage, the cottage and the picket fence. I tried, but I just couldn't go there.

BUT ... I do have friends -- three couples -- who are an older woman/younger man combination and they've been happily married for years. I agree with whoever up there said it was generally the woman who is more bothered by the arrangement. My friend used to catch me with this furrowed brow and say, "You're doing the math again, aren't you? Stop doing the math. I'm not..."

I'd get involved with a younger man again, if it were the right younger man, but probably not THAT much younger. (He thought the Big Bopper was one of McDonald's first specialty hamburgers...)

WyoWoman


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Mbo
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 06:42 PM

I've always liked to think that age doesn't matter in affairs of the heart. But then again--it may make all the difference. But then again I'm too young and dumb to know much about these things....

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 06:52 PM

Is this the Mudcat Forum or Dear Abbey?


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 07:12 PM

It's Dear Abbey - for the Mudcat try the 'back' button


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 08:09 PM

Dear Abbie Dear Abbie the problem, you see
My girlfriend is 20 years older than me
Some friends of mine tell me I must be a fool
But she gives me lunch money and a ride to my school
Signed, Fast Learner


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 08:12 PM

LOL....Good one Leej!!!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: momnopp
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 09:18 PM

My sister-out-law is 8 years older than her husband. They just celebrated their 20th anniversary last year. When I told her that some of the most attractive, sweet men I've encountered in my current "search" are 27-30 years old (I'm 36) she told me that the 4 most successful marriages she knows of are between older women and younger men.

So best of luck to you, Guest (and may the rest of us be so fortunate!!)

Cheers


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Llanfair
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 05:09 AM

"O father , dear father, you've done to me much wrong,
You've gone and got me married to a boy who is too young,
For he is only sixteen years, and I am twenty-one,
My bonny boy is young, but he's growing.

This is not a new issue!!!!! Hwyl, Bron.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 07:28 AM

"He's young but he's daily growing"


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,An older woman
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 07:59 AM

One of my favourite badges says "You're only as old as the man you feel"... (I'm a 46 year young woman!!!)


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,Terry Allan Hall (a guest?...I'm honored!)
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 08:39 AM

Simply a case of mind over matter...if you two don't mind, then it need not matter!

Good luck and "many happinesses"


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: annamill
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 10:09 AM

This is an interesting thread. I would never had thought about putting it to my Mudcat friends. I'm sort of in the other position. I'm 9 years older than Honey and it sometimes worries me. When I'm 59, almost 60, he'll only be 50 and a man at 50 may not want to be with a 60 year old woman. He'll still be able to find much younger women who will find him attractive. Now I know he loves me and we are getting married, but I wonder how it will be for him. I don't even know if I'm being fair. I can feel myself going downhill already. Bones ache, I can't bend over easily, I forget things, my eyesight is getting worse. Our love is strong and it would hurt him badly if I said we should not be together, but am I being fair?

As for you, Guest...well, since my separation from my 17 year old marriage, I've only gone out with younger men, but I've always had the sense not to take the relationship too seriously. Til now anyway. Hopefully you can love enough to get over the humps and there will be humps, and when she does get much older, I hope you don't leave her alone in what will be a very lonely world as it can be for older people. This is what you have to think about. Right now, at her age she can find someone her age or near to share old age with, but when she gets older and if you need something more than she can give you, she may not be able to find some to share old age with.

Another thought I've had is that I'll die and leave my Honey all alone. I'm worried about that too. His love is strong and because he's younger he hasn't seen mortality yet. I will most likely leave him alone when he's going to need me the most.

Just something to think about and consider. It will be taking a chance on both your sides. As much as we would like to think it does, love does not always conquer all.

If you decide to go on with what could be a very rewarding relationship, I hope all goes well, and I wish you lots of love.

Love, annap


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Fortunato
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 10:37 AM

I 've had them to fail, guest older and youger. But not because of age. Whom do you see there; whom does she see? The patina that love and lust and loneliness can smear all over reality clears eventually. I've had one to work real well. When the patina was gone the woman I was supposed to spend my life with was standing there and she was 6+ years younger.

Just lucky, that's all, say your prayers and follow your heart.

Best Wishes, Fortunato


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Mbo
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 10:46 AM

Some people say it's a dangerous game
I'll take my chances just the same
If love is a game and you are the prize
You standing here is no surprise.

Is it life lived separately?
Is life all it ought to be?
Oh, if it were all up to me
I'd make my life with you.




--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Bert
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 10:47 AM

I've been in two long term relationships where the age difference was far greater than 11 years. Lou was much older than me and Tree is much younger. The age difference is not a problem. Go for it Guest!

Bert.

P.S. Leej, you're BAAAAD;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Peg
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 11:14 AM

I have always liked younger men. Men my age (36ish)are either too set in their ways, on the rebound, commitment-phobic, already married, or such losers they have not ever been in an actual mature relationship...not to generalize but that has been my experience so far; in other woids, all the good ones are taken!

When I was 30, I had a great romance with a guy who was 21. He was a Brad Pitt look-alike back when Brad had his long hair and beard...gorgeous, simply gorgeous. I was surprised he wanted to date me actually, at first. He had been with a few "older women" in high school so I imagine this experience helped...we were very well suited to each other physically and emotionally but he felt intellectually inferior at times and this troubled him. But we had a great time...until he dumped me for a glassblower...she lasted a few weeks, then he took up with some twink even younger than him; they are still together, I think...she's a bitch and my friends always wonder why he's with her...as do I. But as long as he's happy (though I am not sure he is...)

Also, when I was in college, I had a fling with a 15 year old (I was 21); looking back I realize I could have been arrested for this (!) but it never occurred to me at the time...He was originally from Puerto Rico and moved to the Northeast because his parents were divorcing. Not a typical teen by any means, very together...much more so than my college-age beaus...but my girlfriends all teased me about robbing the cradle, regardless...

i wish any and all of you kuck in love; age does not matter unless you let it... peg


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,Neil Lowe
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 02:06 PM

These days, a relationship, regardless of the circumstances, that has any endurance whatsoever is an aberration rather than the norm.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Peg
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 02:54 PM

ooops.. I meant luck in love... obviously. peg


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Peg
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 02:55 PM

ooops.. I meant luck in love...not kuck in love, whatever that may be...

peg


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: suze
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 03:56 PM

I'm 44, he's 35 - it's great and has been for the last seven years - go for it and enjoy!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Marymac90
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 05:13 PM

I had one kind of brief relationship with a man about 15 years younger than I, when I was in my mid-30's. I felt adventurous, but also like a cradle robber. We're still friends, see each other at festivals and such. He seems to have had a succession of relationships with women, all somewhat older than him. He's never seemed to actually set up a life of his own, with his own home or apt. He just seems to glom onto these women's lives. His trump card seems to be in NOT being pushy or macho, just being very available and willing. However, none of these relationships seems to have lasted for a very long time. Somehow he doesn't seem to have matured much over the years I've known him.

A relationship with a significant age difference often means dealing with being in different stages of life. ne partner may want to start a family, another feels too old to start all that, or has done that already. One is anticipating retiring, another is caught up in career stuff. Making it work is about bridging that gap. It's certainly worth trying if the gap seems bridgable.

All the best,

Mary Mccaffrey


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Max
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 05:33 PM

I had a very long relationship with a girl who was 13 days older than me. Didn't work out. Not sure if the age difference was the cause, but it was riddled with issues. I'm now looking for a woman in her 40's or 50's that wouldn't mind that I'm 27 and is into folk music. Know any?


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Llanfair
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 05:36 PM

ME FIRST!!!!!!!!
Bron.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: DougR
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 06:09 PM

Max: As a wize old sage, I'd guess those 13 days made all the difference.

This may not be a very musical Thread, but I've enjoyed reading the messages.

Guys my age (69) usually search for a woman a bit younger, I suspect than older. The age difference as so many have said already, shouldn't make that much difference. Go for it!

DougR


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: bob schwarer
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 07:40 PM

Had a couple on the news a bit ago who have been married 80 years. She's older;100. He's 99, so the age difference didn't seem to hurt. They still live in their home and take care of themselves and each other.

The old boy scares me though. He has a drivers license that doesn't expire until 2002. Of course my wife has a license too and that also scares me.

Bob S.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: harpgirl
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 07:55 PM

...oh Max!...Max!...Hey MAX!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Troll
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 08:02 PM

The main thing that I have found ( I've been in 'em on both sides of the age fence) is that you have interests in common;the more the better. Because sooner or later you've gotta get out of bed and talk.

troll


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 08:14 PM

Max I don't mean to pry, just curious. If you don't mind posting the answer I would like to know.....What are the qualities in an older woman you find more attractive than being with someone who is around your own age?

Little Neo


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 08:23 PM

Everyone here (well nearly) has been really nice - I'm thinking of changing my name to 'guest' but that might be too confusing...

Thanks for your comments, I've really appreciated them.

guest


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: DougR
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 09:24 PM

Troll: Talk? Talk about what? :>)

DougR


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Sorcha
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 09:45 PM

SCORE: Pagans-68,Lions-0 (to the tune of "She's a Woman") Go get 'em!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 09:55 PM

I am NOT surprised to see some of the female/female relationships here .... ie New/Cats.

As a male, with an older female relationship of MANY years I can unequivocally state....that an "older woman" satisfies a man's EVERY desire.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: fulurum
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 10:47 PM

i remember my first relationship and it was with an older woman. i was about 13 or14 and quite inexperienced. she was in her twenties. the first time we had sex her legs were up in the air and every time i made a drive i noticed her feet would curl up. when we finished i told her how great it was and asked her if we could do it again. she said ok, but let me take off my pantyhose first this time.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: MK
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 10:54 PM

Hmmmmmm......time to start a Mudcat Personals section?


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: WyoWoman
Date: 14 Feb 00 - 11:19 PM

Mudcat: Where every thread IS a personal section ...


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: DougR
Date: 15 Feb 00 - 12:12 AM

Well, with a Thread like this, I suppose one should expect anything. :>)

DougR


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Allan C.
Date: 15 Feb 00 - 08:47 AM

Some people, despite their chronological age, are just old! Others are quite the opposite. I think it is more of a matter of spirit for the most part.

On the other hand, not unlike WW's comment, a woman I knew dated a younger man who thought the BeeGees were the original Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band! Which brings up the matter of overlapping experience. This, to me can be of true importance. If a couple doesn't share a certain level of mutual experience, then I think there can be some real problems. In my thinking this is the deciding factor. I doubt I could spend much time with someone who never seemed to have any idea what I was talking about unless I gave a lengthy explanation. On the other side of that, I would not want to have to be constantly asking for some recognizable point of reference just so I could understand what my partner was trying to relate.

But if this were not an issue, I would think that the relationship would likely be well worth pursuing.

As to the questions Anna raises about who dies first or who sags where: None of us knows how long we will be in this world. None knows when a loved one might be taken from us. Loving anyone at all presents the risk of losing someone you care deeply about. I think it is far more important to just forget about all of the "what if's" and to give the gift of love you have within you today. Give it freely. Give it all! Give it now!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 15 Feb 00 - 08:30 PM

Max, Be careful what you wish for. Some of us go for dark gypsy eyes. -- MA


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Feb 00 - 08:50 PM

Hmmm. Seems like a good topic for Valentine's Day, although I think I'll post anonymously.
She was 7-1/2 years older than me, but she was every man's dream. We had a wonderful three years. She treated me like I was something absolutely wonderful. But she left for an older (and richer) man.
Or rather, I left her when I found out about the older (and richer) man.
That was three years ago, before my dot.com went crazy. They got married a while back, but sometimes I wonder....

...and the dot.com isn't doing so well any more.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 15 Feb 00 - 09:17 PM

Guest I'm lost, what do you mean by dot.com?

Little Neo


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: sophocleese
Date: 15 Feb 00 - 09:35 PM

Gee Max, would mid-thirties and married already be okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: BK
Date: 15 Feb 00 - 09:52 PM

My sweetie's only 2 yrs older than me. We've been going strong w/each other (even if muddlun' through other aspects of life) for 26 years. May help that we knew each other 10 yrs before we got married. First marriages for each of us; not first serious relationships.. We have married friends where she is 10 yrs older; Now elderly, she's had hr first stroke, but they're still going strong together.. (what w/the mortality statistics, maybe a guy is better off w/an older woman..??)

But, in any case, as many have said; If the feeling,(& hopefully mutual interest),is there, GO FOR IT!!

Cheers, BK


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Hagbardr
Date: 15 Feb 00 - 09:59 PM

Lil' Neo, a dot.com is any sort of commerce website. Most don't make money on the actual site, but on the stock.

Hagbard


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: WyoWoman
Date: 15 Feb 00 - 10:31 PM

Oh, ta' heck with the dark gypsy eyes. Just imagine his hands on your keyboard, configuring and enabling and adding drivers and deciphering your most complicated code. These days, a woman's heart should always have room for a man who knows his way around a hard drive and is well-versed in the varieties and vagaries of software...

ww


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Mbo
Date: 15 Feb 00 - 10:46 PM

Remember No.5? "Oooohhh Steph-a-nie! Nice software!"

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: harpgirl
Date: 15 Feb 00 - 10:49 PM

...dark gypsy eyes?...nevermind...(sweetly singing)"He was just a blue eyed boston boy"...


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Jeri
Date: 16 Feb 00 - 05:21 PM

Max, here's an idea - put yourself up in the Mudcat auction...


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: sophocleese
Date: 16 Feb 00 - 05:51 PM

No don't! My bank balance might die a horrible painful death.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Magpie
Date: 16 Feb 00 - 07:11 PM

Go for it GUEST!

And paddymac- good question! Personally, I think love is a wonderful thing, and things like age and gender should be viewed as minor details. (Of course, some relationships are more likely to result in babies) But, as stated earlier, real love is hard to find, and when you do find it, why should the age and gender of your chosen one matter to the rest of the world?

Magpie


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Fortunato
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 09:08 AM

Romantic relationships formed on a thread must be consummated in the physical presence of those participating in the thread.

fortunato


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,Litle Joe Borg
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 08:53 PM

What Mike didn't say was that the older woman was in a coma in a nursing home!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 09:04 PM

The Thread That Wouldn't Die--I think he has his answer!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,Uncle Fester
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 02:24 AM

It's okay unless it's really hairy or smells alot...

BBBBB Baby


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 10:27 AM

Women live 5 years longer than men on average, so you'd think older wives would be the custom.

But don't go deciding in 10 years time you really want to have kids.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 11:15 AM

"Women live 5 years longer than men on average, so you'd think older wives would be the custom.

But don't go deciding in 10 years time you really want to have kids. "

It's just occurred to me - that's onlt relevant on the assumption that the original GUEST is a man, which we have no right to assume.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Abby Sale
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 11:30 AM

I'm staggered that so little reference has been made to the wealth of folk wisdom in the data base. There is nothing new about the age problem and the Folk have, of course, covered it well. Please refer to Driftwood's "Very Unfortunate Man" in DT and be duly warned and cautioned.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 12:59 PM

On the oither hand "Henery the Eighth" suggests it's not a bad idea,unless you're one of the first seven Henerys. But though there is a fair selection of songs warning about the unwisdom of marrying older men, or unduly younger women, there's not too much about older women. There's "I thank you ma'am, said Dan" - but I couldn't find that in the DT.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 02:27 PM

I must add that as an older woman, when a younger man is attracted to me, I could not think of a nicer complement.
In my experience, there seems to be an innocence in young men that has not been beaten down from years of failed relationships. Emotional rigormortis has not set in, and I find that very attractive.

Bonnie


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Mar 00 - 05:06 AM


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 02 Mar 00 - 06:52 AM

I reckon the question to ask yourself is : how would you feel if you don't go ahead? Imagine yourself taking the decision not to go ahead, and see how it feels. If it feels wrong then you know that you should go ahead. If it feels right then that helps as well. That is the strategy I always use when on the horns of a dilema. If I can't make a decision then I just arbitrarily choose one side & try it out for size - it usually shows me which way to go. Basically its how I decided to stick with my marriage (by deciding not to & feeling bereft!) & how my sister decided not to stick with hers (by deciding not to & feeling releieved). Kris


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Wavestar
Date: 02 Mar 00 - 04:39 PM

My only advice with age is, don't mess around with anyone too young. By this I mean most likely younger than any of you will be looking, or at least I hope... but under 18 is bad stuff. If they are this young, and you're that much older, chances are they aren't emotionally stable enough to handle it, even if they're exceptionally mature. I know. I was that young, and if anyone I know could have handled it, I could. But the hiding was just too much, and I just couldn't do it, and it hurt so much more in the end.

However... it sounds to me like you're well beyond those worries, and I say go for it... and have a good time. There are far too few good relationships in the world these days.

-J


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,Ickle Dorritt
Date: 02 Mar 00 - 05:14 PM

Honestly, I go to Portugal for two weeks and I come back as a bloody guest -who ate my cookie?? I am married to a man 10 years older than me and I have always told him I will stick to the following rule When the teeth go -he goes!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Mooh
Date: 03 Mar 00 - 03:19 PM

An older woman? So long as it's not your mother...this gets complex...


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Oversoul
Date: 03 Mar 00 - 09:21 PM

Women in their forties try real hard to make a younger man feel...well, appreciated. I have found that women in this age group are better in touch with personal hygiene issues as well, but I am of French origin and single. I am in love with my viola instructor...but she is 30-ish and Polish, stay tuned...


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Mbo
Date: 03 Mar 00 - 09:31 PM

Good luck on that, Dave! Oooh, viola player too...

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Mbo
Date: 03 Mar 00 - 09:56 PM

Thanks for the insight, Wavestar. I wish I had realized that myself in the past. Life sure is a school of hard knocks, isn't it? I can only hope that time will heal all our wounds.

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Mar 00 - 10:11 PM

hey Meebo.........

"And as for you the years will heal, all the wounds that have been opened.
Just like time will rid the fields of all the flowers that have ripened.
Of all these things you can be sure
Only Love
Will endure."
------Patrick Sky

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,thomas the rhymer
Date: 04 Mar 00 - 09:24 PM

Age difference is highly overrated, and too much concern leaves us confused and dated... for the love that we feel is the reality of the day, and emotional connection is worth all we could say!

did you ever turn down love that you feel deep? could we wake from a dream while loosing no sleep? are the riddles inside us so orderly too,... that he is too thus and so, and she,... smiling, blue?


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Oversoul
Date: 04 Mar 00 - 09:55 PM

Older women are only target practice until something better and younger comes along. I am a guy who still stands up to piss and ain't afraid to say I have boned a few "dusties" in my day. What the heck? You assholes make me feel like I'm a Young Republican on a weekend retreat to ...Indianapolis! If you can post this nonsense topic expect the truth.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,thomas the rhymer
Date: 04 Mar 00 - 10:09 PM

truth is the sword that has double edges like cheaters and liars, and rushes and sedges but the gloss on the page is much deeper than those who hold truth as a weapon, you'll regret your sad pose

golly gee willikers dude get you a life you oughtn't put down your own later life for rudeness is fashion to those who love strife and the conscience you lack, is both pungent and rife


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Oversoul
Date: 04 Mar 00 - 10:35 PM

Fogive me Chaucer wannabe, but would you please put that response into English, or at least something I can understand? And did you ever want to bone an older woman, because she wanted to do it too? Mind you this is a music site, alledgedly. Beware, I am the Anti-Mudcat.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Mbo
Date: 04 Mar 00 - 10:38 PM

C'mon guys, settle down. There's folks in need of help with lyrics and songs...lets help them out instead of arguing and insinuating?

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,pollye
Date: 04 Mar 00 - 10:49 PM

Oh Dave I'm so sorry you weren't breastfed as a infant. I'm sure many years in therapy will help you get over this resentment you have for 'dusties'.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,thomas the rhymer
Date: 04 Mar 00 - 10:51 PM

the dancing, the dancing, Oh please won't they stop...... this promenade prancing, that shoplifting cop...... its simple you see, and I'll tell you right now the tradition you carry 'tis..."giving a cow"

"giving a cow" means--- "picking a fight so you'll seem interesting".... give it a rest davecoje?


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Oversoul
Date: 04 Mar 00 - 11:09 PM

Thanks for the insight, thomas the rhymer. You have been the older woman to many a lad. We're much for the wiser, our jism you've gulpled, and thanks we've a plenty to ye down below, ...nice kneepads dude!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,thomas the rhymer
Date: 04 Mar 00 - 11:30 PM

i motioned for moments to come to my aid while the foul mouth'd farthing found dreamers dismayed this heaven we nurture is just what we make it and dave's fantasies scantilly clad for two fake it...

I feel sorry for any one who finds you the least bit sexy?


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Oversoul
Date: 04 Mar 00 - 11:46 PM

Do you smoke a pipe? Facial hair, let me guess... yours on the ass of a neighbor's pet. The pet is not satisfied, yet again. Animal abuse, summon the tamer! Hark, it is only that "goat-blow", thomas the reamer!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Hagbardr
Date: 04 Mar 00 - 11:52 PM

Davie, Davie, Davie.... younger ain't always better. Would you rather have the '68 Mustang or the '79 Mustang?

Hagbard


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,thomas the reamer
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 12:06 AM

LOOK DAVE! NO ONE ELSE IS TALKING LIKE YOU ARE,....DAVE! YOU AREN'T FUNNY, INTERESTING, OR CREATIVE, AND THE THOUGHTS YOU ARE SHARING WITH ME HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH FOLK MUSIC, SINGER-SONGWRITER, POP, SWING, OR BLUES. IF YOU GET OFF ON TOILET HUMOR, GO THERE DUDE! NOT HERE! THIS IS MY FIRST TIME HERE, AND YOU ARE ONE SLEEZY CREEP. GO BACK TO YOUR METALLICA< AND LEAVE THE SUBLIME TO THE THOUGHTFUL PEOPLE THAT ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT SINGING, PLAYING, WRITING, RESEARCHING, AND SHARING SONGS. DAVE,.......... THIS IS GOODBYE.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 12:13 AM

Thomas, is that you (thomas the rhymer)?

If you don't wish to join I would love to hear from you via personal e-mail, just go to Quick Links/Send a Personal Message and send me your e-address, I don't hang mine here in plain view.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Oversoul
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 12:30 AM

Does this mean you won't be buying a Mudcat T-shirt? Shucks. I was just starting to like you, please think it over, share your concerns with others in the "Cafe" before you leave. I love folk music and witty people who sing and play their songs of...(whatever), honestly! To be earnest, I can't give it away here, either! Shit, maybe I should leave too. Is it something I said? Let me be perfectly frank, I will order two T-shirts and two CD'S on Monday to repay the Cafe for this loss of revenue. I promise!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,thomas the rhymer
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 12:35 AM

I tried to post out, but it couldn't be done and announcing my address would not bring much fun so maybe another little tactic will do so I can discuss our "more freely" with you


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Oversoul
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 01:13 AM

Chaucer, relax. I have never had a problem with bullshit here, and I deserved it! I think you should consider staying but you decide that, please look around, you will find this a good place. I've been hanging out here a couple of weeks and it has done me a bit of good. People tell me I am the biggest prick here, can that be so? Explore for yourself. No hard feelings...yet!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Troll
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 01:37 AM

Viola player huh? Oooookay! that explains a lot Everyone makes fun of you 'cause you play in a different clef, don't they? And you feel you have to strike back.Verrry interesting.

In a more serious vein, the viola is a great instrument. I really like that warm "woody" sound. How far along are you? My 17 year old played viola for eleven years and got to be pretty good but decided bass was more fun.Kids!

troll


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 01:49 AM

ttr-- talk to me, baby!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 01:56 AM

Thomas the rhymer--

try this:

Click here

If that works, please leave word there what your e-address is so we can correspond.

Hey, everyone else-- don't go there!


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Wavestar
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 10:04 PM

Thomas the Rhymer-

Don't knock Metallica, we've all got our dirty secrets, and hard rock and Goth-Inductrial is one of mine. DOn't stress out about people being rude on the 'Cat, it only upsets you, they get to laugh... if we all ignore it, eventually I find that toilet talk goes away. Of course, I fully expect to be flamed for saying that, but then it's my turn to laugh...

Glad someone could appreciate what I said, Mbo, I only wish love had endured in the end for me... He's too ashamed to speak to me, now. I still miss him, for all that.

-J


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,The Beanster
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 10:15 PM

Guest, Speaking AS a 43-year-old woman (who doesn't look a day over 42), I say yeah baby!! I wouldn't mind a youngun' like yerself a-settin' here by me right now! LOLOL Best of luck to you! And please, let us know how it goes.


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Troll
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 10:28 PM

Thomas the Rhymer---People like Dave get their jollies by trying to make you twitch.If you do, they've won.The best tactic is to ignore 'em but if yer not gonna, make damn sure you can take it as well as dish it out 'cause they don't take prisoners!

As I said, it's best to ignore 'em! That way they've lost automatically.

Wavestar and Meebo--Take it from one who knows;you can and will love many times in the course of your lives.It's hard to lose a love but you will love again and stronger because of the lost love. So hang in there! After fifty years or so it starts to get easier. *grin*

troll


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Mbo
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 10:39 PM

Know how you feel there Wavestar. Well, actually, I know how he feels. Sad, that. Unward and upward I guess.

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,The Beanster
Date: 05 Mar 00 - 11:29 PM

Davecoje, Now don't think I'm going to fan these flames, because I'm not--it's hard but I'm going to be polite. First, Dave, you owe us older women an apology. Second, with your obvious homophobic bent (no pun intended--LOL) which points to an uncertainty perhaps of your own orientation and lack of insight, maybe the hostility you feel is neither directed at Thomas or anyone else here, but at yourself?


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 06 Mar 00 - 11:40 AM

There are plenty of sites for the rude and abusive.... And lots-o-hardcore, both in people and music.... and these are the reasons I look to the 'trad.... for the folkies and histories let me feel glad!....

And you men out there with the cool attitude,.... Who think that intelligence lusts for the lude.... Just what are ye seeking, by humping but youth.... and eating green apples, don't lift us,...in truth....


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Wavestar
Date: 06 Mar 00 - 07:24 PM

Mbo- If you know how he feels, can you maybe give me a hint on how to talk to him ever again? Or should I just leave him alone? I've moved on, and have a very happy relationship of about five years, but he hasn't... or maybe he has... I can't tell, I just know that it scares him to talk to me, and there are things behind his eyes I never saw before it all went... pear shaped :P

-J


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Mbo
Date: 06 Mar 00 - 08:56 PM

I tough to say, Wave. I'm a mixture of both your feelings...all I can do is wait and pray for forgiveness. I feel like such scum for what I've done...and the fact that I hurt her is sometimes to hard to bear. Both of us are trying to become at least acquaintances again, but it may take a good long time. Hoo boy, 5 years is an awful long time. I don't really know what to say...I'm very unexperienced in these matters. I'm 21, and supposed to be an adult, but I feel like an ignorant 8 year old sometimes. I have a lot of growing to do. And I know like HE does that it is extremely hard to let go and try and find someone new. I've been waiting for someone for 21 years, and it still hasn't happened. I can't say how long it will take for him to recover. I'm sort of like a Little Red Rubber Ball--the harder you throw me, the higher I bounce back. Ugh...I'm rambling...perhaps we should go to personal pages, unless there are any other youngster who could use this as reference material?

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Wavestar
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 08:58 PM

Perhaps so, Mbo. This isn't actually the sort of thing I feel the need to share with all the 'Catters anyhow, but since it preys on my mind, I would like to talk about it... How do I talk to you elsewhere? -J


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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Mbo
Date: 07 Mar 00 - 09:43 PM

On the Forum page, where it says "Quick Links" select 'send personal message' when asked who you want to send it to, type the person's Mudcat nickname in, and it will lead you to a place where you can post a personal message. To check and reply to personal messages--since you ARE a member, you should see above 'create new thread' a link that says "you have x number of active message(s). Don't feel bad. I've been here since June and only found out that I had a personal page in January.

--Mbo


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This Thread Is Closed.


Mudcat time: 21 September 6:08 AM EDT

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