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BS: Christmas Tavern 2019

Severn 18 Dec 19 - 04:30 PM
Senoufou 18 Dec 19 - 05:17 PM
Charmion 18 Dec 19 - 09:02 PM
JennieG 18 Dec 19 - 10:04 PM
Sandra in Sydney 18 Dec 19 - 11:27 PM
Dave the Gnome 19 Dec 19 - 04:00 AM
Raggytash 19 Dec 19 - 04:09 AM
Raggytash 19 Dec 19 - 04:18 AM
Senoufou 19 Dec 19 - 04:26 AM
Raggytash 19 Dec 19 - 04:31 AM
Sandra in Sydney 19 Dec 19 - 06:23 AM
Senoufou 19 Dec 19 - 06:42 AM
Sandra in Sydney 19 Dec 19 - 08:12 AM
Raggytash 19 Dec 19 - 08:52 AM
Dave the Gnome 19 Dec 19 - 09:17 AM
Senoufou 19 Dec 19 - 09:36 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Dec 19 - 09:59 AM
Mr Red 19 Dec 19 - 10:34 AM
Dave the Gnome 19 Dec 19 - 10:50 AM
Severn 19 Dec 19 - 04:26 PM
JennieG 19 Dec 19 - 05:37 PM
Donuel 19 Dec 19 - 05:51 PM
Rapparee 19 Dec 19 - 08:29 PM
Donuel 20 Dec 19 - 09:01 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Dec 19 - 10:06 AM
Mrrzy 20 Dec 19 - 10:23 AM
Raggytash 20 Dec 19 - 10:27 AM
Mrrzy 20 Dec 19 - 10:45 AM
Senoufou 20 Dec 19 - 11:41 AM
Sandra in Sydney 22 Dec 19 - 08:15 AM
Rapparee 22 Dec 19 - 08:20 AM
Donuel 22 Dec 19 - 08:21 AM
Mrrzy 22 Dec 19 - 09:04 AM
Dave the Gnome 22 Dec 19 - 09:34 AM
Severn 22 Dec 19 - 11:19 AM
Donuel 22 Dec 19 - 12:04 PM
Severn 22 Dec 19 - 12:09 PM
Donuel 22 Dec 19 - 01:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Dec 19 - 01:20 PM
Sandra in Sydney 22 Dec 19 - 06:49 PM
Rapparee 23 Dec 19 - 08:06 AM
Rapparee 23 Dec 19 - 08:10 AM
Mrrzy 23 Dec 19 - 08:49 AM
keberoxu 26 Dec 19 - 08:31 PM
Rapparee 26 Dec 19 - 08:34 PM
keberoxu 26 Dec 19 - 08:41 PM
Sandra in Sydney 27 Dec 19 - 03:32 AM
Senoufou 27 Dec 19 - 03:55 AM
Black belt caterpillar wrestler 27 Dec 19 - 04:05 AM
Richard Mellish 27 Dec 19 - 07:14 AM
Sandra in Sydney 27 Dec 19 - 07:16 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Dec 19 - 11:12 AM
Mrrzy 27 Dec 19 - 11:44 AM
Rapparee 27 Dec 19 - 09:11 PM
Rapparee 28 Dec 19 - 09:49 AM
Severn 29 Dec 19 - 10:14 PM
Donuel 30 Dec 19 - 05:23 AM
Senoufou 30 Dec 19 - 05:41 AM
JennieG 30 Dec 19 - 07:04 AM
Mrrzy 30 Dec 19 - 09:29 AM
Severn 30 Dec 19 - 10:25 AM
keberoxu 30 Dec 19 - 07:50 PM
Donuel 31 Dec 19 - 07:24 AM
Rapparee 01 Jan 20 - 09:22 PM
Mrrzy 01 Jan 20 - 10:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Jan 20 - 11:15 PM
Donuel 02 Jan 20 - 07:08 AM
Mrrzy 02 Jan 20 - 04:48 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 20 - 10:50 PM
Black belt caterpillar wrestler 03 Jan 20 - 06:56 AM
Mrrzy 03 Jan 20 - 12:08 PM
Senoufou 03 Jan 20 - 12:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Jan 20 - 06:09 PM
Mrrzy 03 Jan 20 - 08:33 PM
Severn 04 Jan 20 - 02:56 PM
keberoxu 04 Jan 20 - 03:00 PM
Senoufou 04 Jan 20 - 03:09 PM
Donuel 04 Jan 20 - 03:57 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 20 - 10:36 PM
Mrrzy 07 Jan 20 - 10:46 AM
Senoufou 07 Jan 20 - 12:11 PM
Mrrzy 07 Jan 20 - 02:18 PM
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Subject: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Severn
Date: 18 Dec 19 - 04:30 PM

Severn drives his rattletrap Hyundai up the driveway to the Tavern. There's still a sign up on the front door that says Chef wanted, which is not a GOOD sign by any means. He sees our security man Len the Lawn Moor and ask him if anyone has shown up and he claims neither he nor Semi-Modo up in the bell tower has seen a sign of anybody, not even the alligator who brings Cajun food every year and tends bar, but the checks keep coming in and there's still some food in the kitchen, so they might as well say on the job. The parking lot and the stables are empty. There's a pallet of cases of green Jello waiting to be brought inside for the Squid family's Jello pit. A quick look in the mailbox reveals a Christmas Card from Defrosty he retired snowman, who's quit his Snomadic ways and settled down with a snowlady in Antarctica somewhere. Severn gives Les the Mood his contact information in case anybody shows.I

Severn waves goodbye and gets back in the battered Hyundai, turns around and heads for home to plan his next radio shows.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Senoufou
Date: 18 Dec 19 - 05:17 PM

A smiling African man swaddled in a thick puffer jacket, a woolly hat and a Norwich City scarf is strolling up to the door of the Tavern. He's pulling along a small trolley in which are piled dozens of home-made mince pies and sausage rolls in sealed plastic containers.

Behind comes an old lady bearing an enormous box in which is a huge brandy-sodden Christmas cake. On her back is a rucksack full of crumpets ready for toasting and a big slab of fresh butter.

As nobody is about, they decide to wait a while to see if anyone turns up. If not, they'll go home and eat the lot themselves.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Charmion
Date: 18 Dec 19 - 09:02 PM

The Canadian party mushes up to the door of the Tavern, kicking slush off their boots and sniffing at the brandy-sodden Christmas cake. “ Did your Mum ever make anything like that?” says the woman in the battered leather mittens. “God, no,” says her husband, as he struggles out of his insanely expensive down-filled parka. “That stuff takes a pound of butter and eight eggs per batch — who can afford that?”

They take a table near the fire and begin to steam gently. “Oh, look,” says the woman as she unwinds about six feet of scarf. “The cake people also have crumpets! Do you think they’d let us sit with them?”

They take a bottle of rye whiskey out of their shopping bag and set it on the table. Gazing meaningfully at the African man and his large box, the woman leans toward the little round lady and says, “Hi, there! Ya know what goes great with fruitcake?”


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: JennieG
Date: 18 Dec 19 - 10:04 PM

A motley collection from the smoky land of Oz, gasping and choking, raises enough strength to tap lightly at the door. Upon entering, they each pull out a bottle of Finest Ozzie Chardy from their bags, plonking them on the table in unison. From another bag come delicacies such as Vegemite sangers (sandwiches, for those unfortunate enough not to be Ozzie), lamingtons, and fairy bread.

Let the party begin!


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 18 Dec 19 - 11:27 PM

a giant wombat looks thru the window


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 04:00 AM

At the smell of whisky the Gnome, previously unnoticed under a table, opens one eye...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Raggytash
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 04:09 AM


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Raggytash
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 04:18 AM

Oh my Lord, says the woman with a mouth full of buttered crumpet, put that trouser snake away you'll catch the a death of cold.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Senoufou
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 04:26 AM

African man pulls a long toasting fork from the trolley, and attaching the first crumpet, holds it in front of the fire.
Old lady waves a large knife (no, she isn't about to murder someone) and cuts a slice from the large brandy (AND rum-) sodden cake.
The lovely Canadian and Oz folk start to warm up by the fire, while the dear Gnome emerges sleepily from under the table to receive cake and crumpet.
Raggytash silently approaches, and will soon speak when he's warmed up.
A rattletrap Hyundai can be heard returning to the Tavern.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Raggytash
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 04:31 AM

A drop of that Whisky may warm me up croaks Raggytash, especially a large drop.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 06:23 AM

the wombat walks in, dreaming of vegemite worms & heading for the buttery crumpets as next best ...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Senoufou
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 06:42 AM

Vegemite worms squeeze out from the holes in the top of the crumpet, ready for the wombat to enjoy.
The trouser snake has found a cosy den inside some trousers and is fast asleep.
Where on Earth is Squiddy? The jello pit looks so very inviting...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 08:12 AM

YUM!


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Raggytash
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 08:52 AM

Raggytash, recovered, goes to his snowmobile and brings several sides of peat smoked salmon, some freshly baked soda bread, several bottles of malt whisky, his guitar and mandola ..............looks like it's going to be a L O N G night.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 09:17 AM

Mmmrrff frrrrmmmffff gnnngggg says the Gnome while sucking brandy (and rum) out of a Christmas cake.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Senoufou
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 09:36 AM

Ooooh, peat-smoked salmon?!!! Fat old lady hurries up and seizes several slices.
The Gnome is given a second piece of cake, and everyone is munching away happily.
When might the music start? Because Someone is rather keen to do The Floss and the Mapouka.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 09:59 AM

The FREE BEER! sign on the door attracts a small horde* of people into the Tavern.

Most of them are severely disappointed when all they find is a collection box placed on the bar by friends of some guy named Beer, attempting to raise bail money to get him out of jail.


* Yes, "small horde" is an oxymoron, but it's a great name for a band.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mr Red
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 10:34 AM

Just then, an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk in, and the barman says "Is this some sort of joke?"


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 10:50 AM

Sandra asks the barman for a double entendre.

So he gave her one.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Severn
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 04:26 PM

The barman, as has become a tradition over the years, is an alligator who got run over in the parking lot, and having been saved and cured, comes through the alley gate each year with a large wagonload of Louisiana goodies from famed chef Michael Rodeboadacheaux in gratitude. He is glad so much food has been brought in by those visiting the Tavern, as he was in doubt until the last minute that the Tavern would even open after our official chef Mmario passed away and no one was hired to replace him, as the help wanted notice was still on the front door.

The alligator loudly rings a triangle for silence, and tells everybody has to take shifts helping out with the cooking, reheating and whatever until a permanent replacement can be decided on.

There's still plenty of food in the freezer that the security staff hasn't eaten while we were gone. The supply of Zurich is still there because, not knowing what it was, they left it alone, and as mMario's cookbook is still here, the orders for his famous roast and his auroch-on-roll sandwiches can be provided when a lot of the regulars start flocking in.

The bats up in the belfry are overjoyed to see the combat peeking through the window.

The alligator organizes a few of the guys to get the pallet with the green Jello supply inside to prepare the Jello pit afresh. That's The only new shipment of anything that had been ordered since mMario's passed away. The Squid family has been spending their time outside the magic back door that opens to a beach.

There are other magic doors, but that's the only one that always opens to the same place every year. Other doors have led to The Yellow Brick Road and God knows where else,while letting i in giant creatures ranging from whales to huge moths.I

Liz The Squeak is not here yet, so the one loo is open with no line backed up.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: JennieG
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 05:37 PM

Having escaped from bushfires the Ozzies are in no hurry to warm up by another fire, so take their seats (and anything else they can lay their hands on) to just inside an open window, all the better to watch the antics of the Giant Wombat.

It also gives an excellent vantage point to watch the dancing bananas arrive.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 05:51 PM

My GPS couldn't find the Christmas Tavern so I tried to follow directions on the back of a Small Hoard ticket. My 200 kh Yugo 2 couldn't do over 18 kh on these backwood roads. Behind great pines I saw a glimpse of a faded sign that vauguely looked like Lickher. Turning into a dirt lot there were no other signs like mudcat or free beer, just a sign that said Sign Painter Wanted which not a good sign since it was covered in drips and smears. My gull wing hit pine branches so I had to crawl out. Accross the lot I saw someon try to crawl into a Hyundai. I walked toward this delapitated building and I opened what appeared to be a badly broken door. I was delighted to see a reptilian behind the bar, "Say you must be Al the alligator". Look pal my name is Al but I'm a god damn crocodile. People just assume since my name is..."So is this the Christmas Tavern?" Whaduthink pal?


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 19 - 08:29 PM

Having changed his modus operandi for a bit, from highway robbery to cattle stealing, he drives a mixed herd (200 head) of Ankole and Auroch heifers in the main door.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Dec 19 - 09:01 AM

Xmas is about old family traditions like squid, green jello, aurochs and the like but it is also about new traditions like...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Dec 19 - 10:06 AM

Xmas is about old family traditions like squid, green jello, aurochs and the like but it is also about new traditions like...

...The Mudcat Christmas Tavern Ukulele Ensemble, of course!

Okay, it may not be totally new. I don't claim encyclopedic knowledge of Mudcat Tavern threads and someone may have already imagined a uke ensemble into being. If such a thing already exists, make it a sackbut ensemble instead. In fact, forget ukuleles and go with the sackbuts from square one. Uke bands are a dime a dozen nowadays.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Dec 19 - 10:23 AM

A small rabbit slightly covered with chocolate creeps unnoticed from behind the comfy chair, sneaks a heavily buttered crumpet from the African's plate, and disappears back behind the chair. Dripping.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Raggytash
Date: 20 Dec 19 - 10:27 AM

What! a chocolate bunny!! Is it Easter already!!! What happened to Christmas!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Dec 19 - 10:45 AM

It is leftover from another thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Senoufou
Date: 20 Dec 19 - 11:41 AM

Gros bisous petit lapin au chocolat!

We absolutely must have ukuleles. Think of all the George Formby songs we could sing!
The Ozzy folk are shown to a comfy seat near the window, so they can get plenty of fresh air. Their poor lungs need to recover from all the smoke back in Oz.
Old Lady is heating up a gigantic Christmas pud. Soon she'll light the brandy on top and carry it in aflame. Thick double cream anyone? Or brandy sauce?
Who is managing the bar? Hope there's good strong ale (Adnam's or Old Speckled Hen would be much appreciated)


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 22 Dec 19 - 08:15 AM

fresh air is wonderful!

now all we need is some good music to go with all the good food (over-buttered crumpets,YUM, tho there is really no such thing as an over-buttered crumpet) & drinks & good company

Maybe something seasonal to start - Carol of the Birds : an Australian Christmas Carol by Wheeler & James

followed by ...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Dec 19 - 08:20 AM

Noticing that the ad directly above says "Seniors Love Posture Correction" he draws his sword and "pinks" several dwellers-within au posterior, who jump and correct their posture by doing so. While they do not thank him for his assistance, he puts his flagons of mead on their tabs.

Meanwhile, 200 head of mixed cattle and aurochs play with Squiddy in the jello pit.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Dec 19 - 08:21 AM

I have become pretty proficient on the four octave
30 inch cello Uke. (different strings and tuning) My reperatoire covers about 400 years and daiiy practice is about 40 minutes.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 22 Dec 19 - 09:04 AM

The chocolate-covered bunny could play a uke like a standing bass if they could play the bass...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Dec 19 - 09:34 AM

Hic


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Severn
Date: 22 Dec 19 - 11:19 AM

Everybody's a uke-arist these days. If they let in more cattle,we could have a up a of oxen.

Nobody seems to have booked entertainment this year, so I guess we're on our own. Shall we run it like an open sing or an open mic? By the way, do those dancing bananas sing, as well?......

Severn is back from the radio station. Being just a small community station, they can not authorize me to set up a remote live broadcast, and we're so remote, we don't show up on maps. When he found nobody here he cancelled his leave and went back and did my show after all. Then he repacked and drove all the way back to the tavern.

He orders his usual Auroch On Roll and a Zevia ginger ale to wash it down, and raises a toast to the now departed mMario and to Amos whose private stall in the barn now stands empty.It somehow doesn't quite seem the same, but I'm sure we will manage to make it a good sort of different, like we always have.

Still,..... He raises his beverage,

"To those that are gone. May they rest in peace and live forever on fondly in our memories!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Dec 19 - 12:04 PM

Chocolate cream bunnies and cinnamon fairies
Heavenly mushrooms and Xmas treat berries
These are our most favorite Christmas desserts
But please do be careful they're far from inert.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Severn
Date: 22 Dec 19 - 12:09 PM

The bats stare out the window wondering if the wombat can still fly.....

Thse sneaky young scamps, the squidlets have broken into the closet again, so if anybody is missing any belongings, they have now become tree decorations, and for a modest fee, I'm sure Billy The Squid and his cohorts will gladly retrieve them for you.....

Mama and Papa Squid are wearing of the strange cattle in the Jello pool and are getting the feeling that they should be herded but not seen.Ah, but where do we put a bunch of supposedly extinct cattle all covered in green sticky stuff, and who will volunteer to put them there?


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Dec 19 - 01:01 PM

,When the squids sing and the bats scream
and the need for sleep grows
we need only remember our favorite things
and the holidays, will glow


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Dec 19 - 01:20 PM

Just in case anyone's not in the mood for aurochs, we've cooked up a big pot of Chickenosaurus soup.


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Subject: LYR ADD-The Song Goes On by Mick Ryan
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 22 Dec 19 - 06:49 PM

The Song Goes On sung by Mick Ryan

The Song Goes On by Mick Ryan

There are singers that we love as we sing our lives away
And though we all fall silent in the end,
They will sing with us forever they'll be singing every day
When we sing the songs they sang.

Chorus:
For the song goes on in the songs we sing,
And when one song ends then another song begins,
So the singers who are gone will be singing once again
When we sing the songs they sang.

Some are heard by many and some are heard by few,
And though we all fall silent in the end,
Someone will remember both the song you sing and you,
When they sing the songs you sang.

(Chorus)

Refrain:
Sing the chorus, sing the song,
And the singers gone before us will be singing right along.
Sing the chorus and refrain,
And the singers gone before us will be singing once again.

We can drive away the silence of the grave that we all fear,
And though we all fall silent in the end,
Sing and you'll be singing with the singers you hold dear
When you sing the songs they sang.

(Chorus)

So if you sing along you bring along the singers who are gone
Though we all fall silent in the end.
Sing and you'll be singing both the singer and the song
When you sing the songs they sang.

(Chorus, Refrain and Chorus)


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Dec 19 - 08:06 AM


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Dec 19 - 08:10 AM

He was struck speechless (for a change). Not even a "Stand and deliver! Throw down that Wells Fargo box, and before my rapier shiver! "


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 23 Dec 19 - 08:49 AM

Hey! Chocolate cream bunnies is me cousins!


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Dec 19 - 08:31 PM

... but what happened at the Tavern
while the lights were out on the Mudcat Forum?


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Dec 19 - 08:34 PM

Well, a certain highwayman picked people's pants pockets of pence and pounds (and euros and dollars and whatever was in there). Only get half a groat and lots of pocket lint, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Dec 19 - 08:41 PM

... see, just because the lights were out on the Forum
doesn't mean the lights were out in the Christmas Tavern, does it?

I hope they had enough
over-buttered crumpets to go around.

I celebrated Christmas Eve
with a serving of bread pudding with maple syrup and vanilla gelato.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 27 Dec 19 - 03:32 AM

over-buttered crumpets? I do have some crumpets in the freezer, she sez, anticipating a feast


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Senoufou
Date: 27 Dec 19 - 03:55 AM

Right! Let's get organised shall we? African Man will help behind the bar, serving Adnam's Ale and Old Speckled Hen. He doesn't drink alcohol himself but is quite happy to serve everyone. All other tipples are available too.
Hot buttered crumpets are being handed out, inches thick with Kerrygold Irish butter.
Old Lady whispers, "Please may I have a chocolate cream bunny? Or two? Or three?"
All the regulars are piling in, humming all sorts of jolly songs and tuning their instruments.
Let the Mudcat Christmas/New Year Tavern commence!


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 27 Dec 19 - 04:05 AM

I think that there has been a reality leak. We Have Christmas tree shaped crumpets available in the shops locally.

Robin (who has been wrestling caterpillars to force them to play carol tunes).


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Richard Mellish
Date: 27 Dec 19 - 07:14 AM

I was a bit busy before Christmas so hadn't got around to looking for this thread, then of course the 'Cat was down for a while. I am delighted to see that the Tavern is open again and the party buzzing despite the absent friends, but I don't think I can get there myself so I'll just have to read about the wonderful goings-on.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 27 Dec 19 - 07:16 AM

Christmas tree crumpets appeared briefly here last year, but I dunno - surely the butter will drip off ...

Round crumpets rule!


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Dec 19 - 11:12 AM

Bee-dubya walks in, notices the upside down Christmas tree hanging in the corner, and says, "Looks like someone forgot to pay the gravity bill again."


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Dec 19 - 11:44 AM

The small rabbit has licked off all their chocolate and crumpet butter and is apparently a soft grey in color. Who knew. They have crept behind the bar where they can get under that nice African man's boubou and be in the way, riding a foot at a time...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 19 - 09:11 PM

Carefully, slowly, he pulls the pistol from his belt and nails Bee Dub with the squirted stream. Water, water everywhere! "Stand and deliver!" he shouts. "Deliver to me a flagon of mead or something!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 19 - 09:49 AM

He turns to the barkeep and explains that his "stand and deliver" statement is usually directed to UPS and Fed Ex drivers. They usually run up, drop the packages, and run away.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Severn
Date: 29 Dec 19 - 10:14 PM

The alligator turns to Raparee and says, "I assumed that you were standing a round for the house, which is already being delivered. Don't worry, I put the drinks all on your tab....."


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Dec 19 - 05:23 AM

Severn, Al told me himself that he is not an alligator. He is in fact a crocodile according to his Ancestry.com report. I hope this is not racist.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Senoufou
Date: 30 Dec 19 - 05:41 AM

Yes I agree, it's crocist Donuel heh heh.

Mrrzy, African Man says he's grateful for the little furry rabbit on his foot, as it's keeping his toes nice and warm. But he'd like another one for the other foot please.

Smiling African Man is wearing his best outfit for the Tavern; it's made of a material in purple and white blotches, with a sort of lacy edge to the long tunic. The trousers (same material) are a bit tight -too much grub over Christmas. (Our funny neighbour asked him if he was going out in his pyjamas!)

Loads of best butter is being dispensed on hot toasted crumpet bases. Anyone fancy Christmas Pudding with brandy and fresh cream? It goes well with a glass of ale.
Happy New Year (soon!) to all. Raise your glasses! To MUDCAT! (and God bless all who sail in her)


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: JennieG
Date: 30 Dec 19 - 07:04 AM

One of the Ozzies strolls back into the tavern. The visiting son, DIL and The One And Only Grandkid have left......first time The One And Only has ventured this far north in his five years on this earth. Now the Ozzie is kicking up her heels (as is the 17 YO cat, who had never in her life before had to share her domicile with a 5 YO boy) and is ready to party tomorrow night.

Yee har!


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 30 Dec 19 - 09:29 AM

Sorry but I can switch feet...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Severn
Date: 30 Dec 19 - 10:25 AM

Donuel, I suspected it was a croc all along, but I assumed since he came from Louisiana and spoke with a heavy accent. I didn't introduce him, but kept the character going. My apologies, Al.

Mrrzy, Don' switch feet until I have had a dance with you. It's bad enough that I have two left ones. Go with the ones you've got.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Dec 19 - 07:50 PM

Poor Charmion and Himself
were not only steaming after coming in from the cold,
but recovering from
the incense in Smokey Barney.

Hope Charmion has got her breath back
in time to cheer in the New Year,
'cause it wouldn't be a New Year's Eve
without some cheering.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Dec 19 - 07:24 AM

Thanks for loaning me your breath Charmion. I overnighted it to you last night. Beer has been freed. Aurochs have hibernated and sham witch hunt hoax trials have ended. The outer bourough guy has lost his brand. The fat lady has sung. Pavoratti has come back for one last curtaib call on the Voice. The smoke has cleared for a brand new year.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 20 - 09:22 PM

Quietly, he exits. Quietly, he saddles his faithful steed. Quietly, he rides at a full gallop into the Tavern, shouting all the while "YEE-HAA! Powder River, let 'er buck!" whilst discharging his water pistols at the ceiling.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Jan 20 - 10:14 PM

Can one dance to a dirge, whether on the dirgiridoo or bagpipes?


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jan 20 - 11:15 PM

Generic Mudcatter walks in and asks, "Where are all the singed bearmats? You can't have a Tavern without singed bearmats!""


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Jan 20 - 07:08 AM

I go into stores now that seem to scream "Christmas is dead, lomg live Valentines day".


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 02 Jan 20 - 04:48 PM

A scruffy and pleasantly-smelling bunny hops out from behind the bar, and out into the world, looking for the New Year's tavern...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 20 - 10:50 PM

And with the tipping of a beer tunn, a flash of light, and hearty "Hi Ho, Silver!, the place is changed to a New Year's Tavern, party hats and all!

Squiddy is only mildly confused, being familiar with the joint.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 03 Jan 20 - 06:56 AM

The twelve days of Christmas end on January 6th, the greenery stays up until Candlemas(2nd February). But doesn't the Tavern have a timeline of its own which is completely flexible?

Robin


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Jan 20 - 12:08 PM

Oh, good. The bunny had not gotten far, and returns to the bar. The nice African man stifles a scream at the icy feet on his, but does not drop the eggnog.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Senoufou
Date: 03 Jan 20 - 12:55 PM

While African Man is serving at the bar (and squealing at the little rabbit's icy foot) the old lady is busy stirring a large pot of hot soup. It's Scotch broth, and will warm up all the visitors. Anyone who wishes can have a large bowl of it, served with home-made bread.
A little shadow floats past, in the shape of a grey-coloured Siamese cat. A faint miaow is heard, then it disappears.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jan 20 - 06:09 PM

The Tavern's timeline is not simply flexible, it is a Möbius strip. If you walk around the Tavern twice, you're back exactly where you started, both in space and time. But, to do so, you have to spend about half the trip walking both upside down and backwards in time. The experience can be a bit nausea inducing, particularly to those who've just finished a big meal of roasted aurochs and room-temperature stout.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Jan 20 - 08:33 PM

I like the disappearing faint meow. Maybe it's the WomBat...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Severn
Date: 04 Jan 20 - 02:56 PM

A reminder to any who are leaving.

More and more personAl belongings are appearing on the huge Christmas tree, thanks to Billy the Squid and his gang of squidlets. Even the "We Will Not Be Responsible For Lost Or Stolen Items" sign is now hanging two thirds of the way up the enormous fir. Also, the sign for Old Lang's Premium Special New Year's Lager from the bar is appropriately on top, replacing the star.....

The wombat has already been shown how to fly in past yesrs. Now some of the squidlets have taken it out of the magic back door leading to the beach to teach it to swim.......


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: keberoxu
Date: 04 Jan 20 - 03:00 PM

I recognize the Ghost of Smokey Pokey,
nice of him to make a ghostly appearance.
Hope Senoufou and her lovely African husband
enjoy the New Year with
'Spirit' aka Sam the Skull
and Binky.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Senoufou
Date: 04 Jan 20 - 03:09 PM

Thank you dear keberoxu! Sam the Skull and Binky are now serving mince pies and large chunks of Christmas cake to the guests in the Tavern.
Old lady is keeping a sharp eye on Sam,as he's likely to go chasing after the squidlets, trying to nibble their tentacles.
Broth is being served in large quantities; people are coming in shivering with cold.
Smiling African Man is now wearing his new lambswool jumper in an eye-watering shade of deep yellow. Old Lady just managed to stop him from adding fiery hot Scotch bonnets chillies to the broth.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Jan 20 - 03:57 PM

I used to be a tinker, I did alot of tinks but now like the giant auroch I am extinct


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 20 - 10:36 PM

Ah, Candlemas! When all Christmas stuff USED TO BE TAKEN DOWN. When Christmas lasted.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Jan 20 - 10:46 AM

Bunnies *like* hot chilies, comes mumbling from under a beautifully embroidered boubou behind the bar.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Senoufou
Date: 07 Jan 20 - 12:11 PM

Old Lady has knitted a warm, fluffy jumper for the little rabbit. It's pale turquoise with white stripes. This is better than Scotch bonnets for warmth.
The ex-tinct receives a pair of nice woolly socks. Other knitted garments (gloves, scarves, cardigans) are on a table at the side for guests who are feeling the cold.
The hot soup has been supped, and all the Christmas goodies have now been eaten.
Smiling African Man is busy cleaning up the kitchen area (a job which he adores, he always leaves the surfaces shining) Occasionally a frown crosses his face. It's because Norwich City football club are now bottom of the Premier League and will probably go down. Oh dear...

Happy 2020 to all!


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Jan 20 - 02:18 PM

Bonne année, bonne santé... Déjà gagné cadeau!


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Mudcat time: 31 March 4:56 PM EDT

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