mudcat.org: BS: Useless Inventions
Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafeawe

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2]


BS: Useless Inventions

Black belt caterpillar wrestler 05 Mar 15 - 05:53 AM
Ed T 04 Mar 15 - 10:29 AM
Steve Shaw 04 Mar 15 - 05:59 AM
GUEST,JHW 04 Mar 15 - 05:43 AM
ced2 03 Mar 15 - 07:53 AM
Thompson 03 Mar 15 - 07:47 AM
Steve Shaw 02 Mar 15 - 05:35 PM
Donuel 02 Mar 15 - 03:57 PM
Donuel 02 Mar 15 - 03:50 PM
Steve Shaw 02 Mar 15 - 06:36 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Mar 15 - 06:25 AM
Musket 02 Mar 15 - 02:39 AM
Donuel 01 Mar 15 - 06:45 PM
andrew e 01 Mar 15 - 06:17 PM
EBarnacle 01 Mar 15 - 03:44 PM
Ed T 01 Mar 15 - 03:12 PM
Musket 01 Mar 15 - 03:21 AM
Musket 01 Mar 15 - 03:18 AM
Ed T 28 Feb 15 - 07:41 PM
Steve Shaw 28 Feb 15 - 07:20 PM
frogprince 28 Feb 15 - 03:25 PM
GUEST,HiLo 28 Feb 15 - 02:56 PM
EBarnacle 28 Feb 15 - 01:37 PM
Steve Shaw 28 Feb 15 - 07:16 AM
Steve Shaw 28 Feb 15 - 07:10 AM
GUEST,HiLo 28 Feb 15 - 05:49 AM
Keith A of Hertford 28 Feb 15 - 04:59 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Feb 15 - 07:10 PM
Bill D 27 Feb 15 - 07:04 PM
Steve Shaw 27 Feb 15 - 05:45 PM
Ed T 27 Feb 15 - 02:11 PM
Ed T 27 Feb 15 - 02:10 PM
Keith A of Hertford 27 Feb 15 - 01:15 PM
Musket 27 Feb 15 - 11:36 AM
Steve Shaw 27 Feb 15 - 11:34 AM
Uncle_DaveO 27 Feb 15 - 09:52 AM
Musket 27 Feb 15 - 09:14 AM
GUEST,Raggytash 27 Feb 15 - 09:08 AM
Steve Shaw 27 Feb 15 - 09:00 AM
Keith A of Hertford 27 Feb 15 - 08:43 AM
GUEST,Raggytash 27 Feb 15 - 07:32 AM
Steve Shaw 27 Feb 15 - 07:24 AM
GUEST,Raggytash 27 Feb 15 - 07:08 AM
Steve Shaw 27 Feb 15 - 07:04 AM
GUEST,DTM 27 Feb 15 - 06:57 AM
Steve Shaw 27 Feb 15 - 06:53 AM
GUEST 27 Feb 15 - 06:43 AM
Keith A of Hertford 27 Feb 15 - 04:58 AM
EBarnacle 26 Feb 15 - 10:35 PM
Steve Shaw 26 Feb 15 - 08:21 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 05 Mar 15 - 05:53 AM

Please note that the atmospheric railway can be made to work with modern materials, Brunel ahead of his time as usual, though I don't think it was actually his invention, he just adopted it. The main problem was rats eating the greased leather sealing flaps. It was in service for a year or two.
The reason that much of the railway west of Exeter had such steep gradients was that it was expected to use the atmospheric system, which could cope with them better than steam haulage. In 1911 it was a close vote as to whether the Great Western would turn over to electric propulsion for this part of the network.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Ed T
Date: 04 Mar 15 - 10:29 AM

"Glow in the dark" condoms


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 04 Mar 15 - 05:59 AM

Flavoured, coloured and scented industrial degreasers supposedly good for the scalp. I refer, of course, to the products of the shampoo industry.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: GUEST,JHW
Date: 04 Mar 15 - 05:43 AM

Some of my walking boots have what is called a Rand around them just above the sole. A band in fact, of rubber that is said protects the boot in that area. None of my boots without a rand have any problem. The rand though can come unstuck leaving the boot beneath difficult to dubbin unless you cut away the detached rand.
A troublesome solution to a problem that doesn't exist.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: ced2
Date: 03 Mar 15 - 07:53 AM

Sorry Hi Lo,
I K Brunell was a proposer (& engineer?) of an atomospheric system of railway propulsion. It was tried, I believe, on the line to Paignton. The airtight leather flap could not be made to seal and therefore the vacuum that drew the trains along could not be maintained. The salt spray from the sea made the problem worse.

There may be others


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Thompson
Date: 03 Mar 15 - 07:47 AM

Those ceilings full of tiny lights - they cost an absolute fortune in electricity.
A bodhrán, however, is useful; in English it's a dildurn in its original use, which was as a device to remove chaff from grain by tossing the grain in it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 02 Mar 15 - 05:35 PM

What survey?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Mar 15 - 03:57 PM

The survey has approximately zero to do with whatever the subject claims. Even "real" surveys sell their mega data.

The data you give in combination with any other personal comment you have ever made on social media is combined and sold to data firms who in turn sell it to advertisers or corporate entities.

ADVISE; DO NOT PARTICIPATE. EVEN ONE PERSONAL ANSWER MAY BE THE LAST STRAW ON YOUR IDENTITY BACK.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Mar 15 - 03:50 PM

We all knew that led light outshines the mercury fluorescent but the economics of the mercury bulb captured the spot light since the mercury cost money for disposal and was therefore virtually free.

Every bit of expensive toxic mercury saved from hazardous disposal and sold to the masses made money coming and going. The same was true with fluoride and other natural poisons.

Even better than led light is the sodium microwave lights that are the closest light to actual spring sunshine.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 02 Mar 15 - 06:36 AM

Low-energy fluorescent light bulbs were a disgrace. They don't work properly and their disposal represents a pollution nightmare.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Mar 15 - 06:25 AM

I suppose the "usefulness" of jet skis is a matter of perspective.

Useless, from my perspective.

Useful, from my perspective.

See the difference?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Musket
Date: 02 Mar 15 - 02:39 AM

Moderation up to its usual standards I see.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Mar 15 - 06:45 PM

solar heated storm window (passive)

sail attached to ratchets that elevates weight that serves as a mechanical gravity battery to run electric turbine. (chemical free)

underground heat pump with solar assist for home heating.

Build a bomb that is 10 to the 35th times more powerful than the hydrogen bomb by using the recent discovery* of the central equilibrium of the vacuum density of space. *space has actual structure.

Get the Pope on SNL.

See I told you no one reads this.

Genetically engineered potato that tastes like chicken.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: andrew e
Date: 01 Mar 15 - 06:17 PM

I often wonder about Smoke Alarms and Water Saving Showers.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: EBarnacle
Date: 01 Mar 15 - 03:44 PM

Kindly get back on the subject.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Mar 15 - 03:12 PM

Marmalade


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Musket
Date: 01 Mar 15 - 03:21 AM

White Rabbits!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Musket
Date: 01 Mar 15 - 03:18 AM

Somewhere to hang a T bar between.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Feb 15 - 07:41 PM

Especially useful, more so if you happen to be a dayak fruit bat.



male lactation   


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 28 Feb 15 - 07:20 PM

I have it on good authority that nipples on males can be exceptionally useful.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: frogprince
Date: 28 Feb 15 - 03:25 PM

Contrary to common lore, nipples on males aren't entirely useless. They serve to confuse the issue of whether anyone should be required by law to conceal their nipples.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: GUEST,HiLo
Date: 28 Feb 15 - 02:56 PM

I have a picture of I.k. Brunel in my office. No useless inventions from him.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: EBarnacle
Date: 28 Feb 15 - 01:37 PM

If you are going to include the jet ski, you have to include the snow mobile. Snow mobiles are safer, though, as they have something solid to ride on and use for steering and braking.
Basically, the jet ski is derived from the snow mobile. Similar engines and such. The manufacturers had to have something to sell in the summer.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 28 Feb 15 - 07:16 AM

There's a really nice stretch of canal in the middle of Hertford that I've managed to
purloin, at very reasonable cost, for use as a jet-ski training school. The landlord of the Old Barge has kindly consented to the use of his beer garden for jet-ski refuelling. I did have to promise the council that we'd stop at midnight, the killjoys.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 28 Feb 15 - 07:10 AM

I thought you and Betty weren't talking Steve?

We weren't, after the bingo ball fiasco in the car park (which was Dave's fault anyway, trying to cart them off in a wet cardboard box - we still haven't found clickety-click and two fat ladies). But the prospect of seeing all those bronzed, pert men's botties on jet-skis had her salivating (I've cleared it up). Winning her round was a cinch.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: GUEST,HiLo
Date: 28 Feb 15 - 05:49 AM

What the hell is wrong with a man saying he dosen't like jet skis. Is there nothing some of you won't turn into a slagging match? Grow up!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 28 Feb 15 - 04:59 AM

University of Vermont,

Arguments Supporting a PWC (jet ski)Ban

Accidents:

Personal watercrafts have high accident and fatality rates. As noted earlier, PWCs are involved in 35 percent of all accidents with water vessels. The number of accidents and fatalities due to PWC use has been increasing consistently with each year since 1987 (see Table 1).

Pollution:

Widespread PWC use has a significant impact on the environment due to the two stroke engines which leak millions of gallons of unburned fuel into the waters each year (Pearce, 1998). Scientists estimate that 20 to 25 percent of the fuel used in personal watercraft and other watercraft with two stroke engines fail to combust, and is flushed out into the water as raw fuel vapor emissions (Pearce, 1998).

To illustrate the level of pollution, in Michigan, the 82,000 registered watercraft, if each rider expends a full 10-gallon tank, will expend more than 200,000 gallons of fuel into the water. If a watercraft carries four gallons of gas, than approximately one gallon will be directly leaked into the water (Pearce, 1998). Two hours of exhaust emissions from a Jet Ski is equivalent to the emissions created by driving a 1998 automobile 130,000 miles (Stienstra, 1998).

Biological Impact: The pollution emitted from PWCs have a considerable impact on wildlife. When the unburned fuel is released into the water, tiny organisms absorb the chemicals and become extremely sensitive to light, an occurrence called phototoxicity. The Daylight sun then kills the organism, which causes a collapse of the food chain as food sources slowly become eliminated (Pearce, 1998).
http://www.uvm.edu/~vlrs/doc/personal_watercraft.htm


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 07:10 PM

Can Max get one of those giant vacuum trucks for Mudcat?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 07:04 PM

HiLo asked: "But where to you blow the leaves to ?"

To the edge of the yard by the street... here, the county picks them up with giant vacuum trucks and provides them as mulch for folks. Even if it is not done somewhere, it 'can' be useful to get them in one pile.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 05:45 PM

We're not sorry. We always enjoy your interventions. I hear that sales of jet skis have rocketed and that there are plans for an artificial beach, Paris-style, in Hertford. You're in trouble, Keith. Musket, Dave and meself have just obtained planning permission for a jet ski shop in Hertford. Betty Swollox has offered to both do the checkout and be our jet ski consultant for less than a third of the minimum wage, plus perks. By the way, Dave, did Musket and meself tell you that you'll be responsible for, er, the perks? Don't worry, we have had a word with her about shower gel...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 02:11 PM

Oh, I forgot-:)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 02:10 PM

Men's "speedo" swim suits- even if Steve still has one, or more, that "kinda" fits in his kinkish-closet.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 01:15 PM

Occasionally, a jet-ski shows up. No problem. There's enough room for everyone.

I agree that they do not take up much room Steve, but the noise and stink of one can assault the lungs and ears of many.

Raggy do you think I really love the things and only express a view because you did?
Dream on Raggy


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Musket
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 11:36 AM

That Korg is possibly the worst invention, trust me.

Twenty bloody quid as well...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 11:34 AM

The most useless invention of all time was the first telephone. You couldn't do a damn thing with it. No-one else had one. What a daft idea.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 09:52 AM

The thread is really supposed to be about USELESS inventions,
not unpleasant or annoying ones.

Dave Oesterreich


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Musket
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 09:14 AM

Well bugger me.. I love jet skis and now I love them all the more! When visiting family in Weymouth, I always take one out into the bay, out towards Portland Bill and back. If you find a rip tide crossing below a surface wave, you can ride on a wave for ages.

I went island hopping on one when we were on Ko Samui last year. As I have pins holding my back in place and my knees are less than perfect, such activities allow me to carry on enjoying water sport. I used to love water skis but just can't do it now. (Normal skiing is OK if I don't go silly but I stay on piste these days.)

There's a large lake not far from us and planning permission is in at the moment to make it a watersports centre, including a jet ski area. If it takes off and the jet ski area is large enough, I fancy buying my own.

Anyway... Useless inventions-   A prime candidate is the Korg guitar tuner that sits in the sound hole, for about ten seconds then either pops out onto the stage to be trodden on or falls into the bloody guitar to be fished out later. About as much use as a one legged bloke at an arse kicking contest.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 09:08 AM

Might be something to do with the fact I that championed Jet Ski's Steve.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 09:00 AM

Jet skis were not invented at the time you were enjoying your childhood summers. I spend many a grown-up summer's day on the beaches here. Occasionally, a jet-ski shows up. No problem. There's enough room for everyone. If you are really so keen to keep our beaches unpolluted you'd be up in arms about dogs on beaches. Worse by a country mile. And I have no dog in this fight. Nor a jet-ski.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 08:43 AM

I spent all my childhood summers on Bude beaches Steve.

When you are in sheltered cove on a still day, one jet ski makes a stink and a row that no-one else wants.

Of course everyone could get up and go looking for an unpolluted beach, but they should not have to.

Beaches were better places before that invention.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 07:32 AM

I went into the doctors smoking 50 a day, he put two needles in each wrist for about 10 minutes, apparently to calm me down(?)

He then put little ball-bearings on tiny patches in each ear. When you want a cigarette twiddle these things he said. Don't wash your ears for as long as you can bear it but when you do put some more patches in (giving me a box of said patches)

I left the surgery and didn't smoke another cigarette for 9 years ........... then I got a job in the Health Service ....!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 07:24 AM

I gave up smoking by stopping dead after 12 years of excess and utter addiction. Feb 21 1978 at 8.05 in the evening. There were still 17 Embassy left in the packet. Thinking of putting ' em on eBay...

I'd certainly be interested to hear about the mechanism involved in stopping the urge to smoke via the insertion of needles. It's the scientist in me I suppose. However, if it works for you...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 07:08 AM

Steve,

My GP in the previous area was trained in Acupuncture. I managed to stop smoking because of his help. Don't knock it till you've tried it. I too suffer with chronic back pain (old motorcycle accident) and I'd certainly consider it if I could get on the NHS locally.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 07:04 AM

If you go to the beach for the sound of waves and to breath the salt air, jet skis are an abomination.
One selfish petrol-head can spoil the pleasure of hundreds.


Jaysus. And what about those screeching kids, those stinking barbecues, those pain-in-the-arse kayakers and bodyboarders and those filthy, noisy dogs. Even horses round here. Bastards who think they're only there to enjoy themselves, the lot of 'em! Tell you what, Keith. Go down the seaside and, instead of whingeing about the latest annoyance, just stroll half a mile and find another beach. Even in the height of summer we can stroll for ten minutes away from Bude's two heaving main beaches and find peace, quiet and seclusion. And the stroll will do you good and you'll get so much more of that salt air. Live and let live, eh, Keith?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: GUEST,DTM
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 06:57 AM

Alas,the world is full of plonkers spoiling everybody else's pleasure with their selfish extremes.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 06:53 AM

How much pain are you in?

Plenty, thanks. Lost four intervertebral discs and had to have spinal decompression last year. Severe low back pain for life. The voltarol does a grand job. I'm not wasting time or money having needles stuck in me by people who haven't a clue how those needles are supposed to be working. But, whatever stirs your loins!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 06:43 AM

How far is Hertford from a beach?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 27 Feb 15 - 04:58 AM

If you go to the beach for the sound of waves and to breath the salt air, jet skis are an abomination.
One selfish petrol-head can spoil the pleasure of hundreds.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: EBarnacle
Date: 26 Feb 15 - 10:35 PM

How much pain are you in?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Useless Inventions
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Feb 15 - 08:21 PM

So how would I know that I needed acupuncture?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 27 October 8:23 AM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.