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Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos

Peter T. 04 Oct 99 - 11:26 AM
MMario 04 Oct 99 - 11:36 AM
catspaw49 04 Oct 99 - 11:37 AM
Roger the skiffler 04 Oct 99 - 11:37 AM
Big Mick 04 Oct 99 - 12:18 PM
Big Mick 04 Oct 99 - 12:26 PM
katlaughing 04 Oct 99 - 01:06 PM
sophocleese 04 Oct 99 - 01:16 PM
WyoWoman 04 Oct 99 - 01:20 PM
WyoWoman 04 Oct 99 - 01:21 PM
bobby's girl 04 Oct 99 - 01:24 PM
Melodeon 04 Oct 99 - 03:27 PM
Bert 04 Oct 99 - 03:31 PM
emily rain 04 Oct 99 - 03:35 PM
MMario 04 Oct 99 - 03:43 PM
sophocleese 04 Oct 99 - 04:02 PM
emily rain 04 Oct 99 - 04:11 PM
Chet W. 04 Oct 99 - 04:17 PM
katlaughing 04 Oct 99 - 04:20 PM
sophocleese 04 Oct 99 - 04:28 PM
MMario 04 Oct 99 - 04:30 PM
katlaughing 04 Oct 99 - 04:35 PM
Bert 04 Oct 99 - 04:41 PM
sophocleese 04 Oct 99 - 04:46 PM
katlaughing 04 Oct 99 - 04:47 PM
sophocleese 04 Oct 99 - 04:52 PM
Bert 04 Oct 99 - 05:11 PM
DonMeixner 04 Oct 99 - 10:45 PM
catspaw49 04 Oct 99 - 11:04 PM
Dave Swan 04 Oct 99 - 11:16 PM
Lonesome EJ 04 Oct 99 - 11:45 PM
katlaughing 05 Oct 99 - 12:17 AM
katlaughing 05 Oct 99 - 12:54 AM
Lonesome EJ 05 Oct 99 - 01:43 AM
roopoo 05 Oct 99 - 01:51 AM
Peter T. 05 Oct 99 - 09:59 AM
Larry B. 05 Oct 99 - 11:33 AM
katlaughing 05 Oct 99 - 11:35 AM
Barbara 05 Oct 99 - 11:44 AM
Davey 05 Oct 99 - 11:49 AM
Larry B. 05 Oct 99 - 12:08 PM
katlaughing 05 Oct 99 - 01:51 PM
T in Oklahoma (Okiemockbird) 05 Oct 99 - 09:24 PM
catspaw49 05 Oct 99 - 09:44 PM
Susan A-R 05 Oct 99 - 10:37 PM
WyoWoman 05 Oct 99 - 10:44 PM
catspaw49 05 Oct 99 - 10:57 PM
katlaughing 05 Oct 99 - 11:30 PM
katlaughing 06 Oct 99 - 02:09 PM
T in Oklahoma (Okiemockbird) 16 Sep 00 - 11:42 AM
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Subject: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Peter T.
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 11:26 AM

SGT. KAT AND HER HOWLING MUDCAT COMMANDOS
Chapter 1: Talibani Bound
<

It had started out so well, the team setting out in the high bright morning air as soon as the gates to Peshawar opened, disguised as a merchant caravan selling Ricky Martin T-shirts to the tribals. And now here they were, late in the hot afternoon, deep in the rocky Afghan hills, pinned down by a murderous cross-fire.

Sgt. Kat chomped down on her stogie, and smiled to herself. These MF's were already way too overconfident, hurling down antiwoman slogans from their shadowy lairs like dud grenades. She squinted for a moment towards the sun, arcing towards the west. They had a hour or two to go before nightfall. Then she turned her head and checked out how the troops were doing. She didn't know what the sight of them did to the Taliban, but they scared the hell out of her.

Crouched behind the closest rock, balancing the bazooka, was "U.S." Wyowoman. Kat smiled when she remembered how she had got the name. Wyowoman was a bigshot editor back in Wyoming, and one day after she had finished reaming out some poor hapless reporter for not being able to spell "excrement" worth shit, he turned to her as he was leaving the office, and said, "I guess that's why they call you 'Mr. Grant' eh?" And Wyowoman stood there and grunted, "Not Lou Grant, you useless F***ing bastard, Ulysses S. Grant!! Get the hell out of my office!"

Feeding her ammo was "Snaps" bbc, the CIA-FBI liason, the one with the photographic memory and the memories to match. She had come out of the hardest school of all, school, to be on the team. On the other side, tinkering with the laser-guided rocket, was "Ocarina" Barbara, who could make anything, though she preferred blowing things up and putting big holes in them. Beside her, working the command post radio, was "Radio" Duckboots, the famous engineer who had been dropped behind enemy lines in Bolivia, set up the clandestine radio station, and driven the local government into submission by endless replaying of old Freddy Mercury songs.

Across the narrow valley cut, her rifle slanting out from the shadow of a shallow cavemouth, was Alice, who had had to leave America in a hurry after an ex boyfriend had one morning achieved low earth orbital in a bomb-wired S.U.V.

Beside her was the party animal, Annap, who had left the Peshawar traders the night before with a lesson in belly dancing they would not soon forget, and had already given a few new navels to a bunch of dirty burnooses somewhere just up ahead.

And next to her was the Aussie, "Fair" Alison, in her swagman kit, making the Taliban hop about like 'roos on a frypan; and it was her curses, mingled with the salty sailor's phrases "Shanty" Margarita had picked up in her days as the concertina player with the Navy Seals, that were already causing several Talibanese to run for the border, their ears aflame.

And there were others, others she did not know well. There was Hanan Rashid, dedicated to bringing the true teachings of Islam about women to her people; there was Sherry Aims, Commando Nurse, who looked after the horses and the camels; and other women, tough women. Great team. None however, as brawny and tough as Big Michelle, with her beautiful blond hair and her thick red beard. Kat couldn't figure her out, really, especially as she seemed to spend a lot of time hanging around Alison. Butch dyke, probably: though she certainly didn't dress like one -- evening gowns in these mountains were not exactly utilitarian, but she was sure built to fight.

And then of course there was herself, Sgt. Kat Fury, graduate from Catspaw's Angels, multiple winner of the Ms. Magazine G.I. Jane Award, Divorce Advisor to the First Lady, and now this: Leader of the Howling Mudcatters, Dedicated to the Liberation of the Women of the World, Starting with Afghanistan (HMDLWWSA).
Enough exposition, it was time to get liberating. Sgt. Kat said a brief prayer to the Bitch Goddess, Kali, took a bite out of her lunchbag of pickled sheep's testicles, and stood up, spraying machine gun fire in all directions. "Take that, you scum-sucking oppressors of women!!", she yelled spiritually, "Let's go, girls!!"


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: MMario
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 11:36 AM

ow! my sides hurt! not to mention I now have the attention of everyone in the office, having laughed so hard that tears were streaming!


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 11:37 AM

Geezus Pete............Nothing more remains to be said, although I'm sure it will be.

"Yo...yeah you with the forklift.....Can we get several more skids of bandwidth over here?......."

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Roger the skiffler
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 11:37 AM

Well,pop my bubblewrap, Pete, that's pretty damn good (and I loved Blake Morrison, too, write the screenplay!).O.K., wimmin, who would you want to play you?
Tricky casting for Big Michelle: Julie T. Wallace in a beard or John Goodman in a frock???


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Big Mick
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 12:18 PM

Pete, you have entirely too much time on your focking hands................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......LMAOWRAOTFF........................Jazus, but between you and Vixen, I am speechless. You could have one money betting whether that would ever have happened.......May I suggest Chewbacca for the role of Big Michelle.......

Mick


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Big Mick
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 12:26 PM

Oh yeah.............Peter............nice to see we read the same comics when we were kids

Mick


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 01:06 PM

Well, I am honoured indeed and LMAO!!!!!! THIS is the righteous woman I wanted to grow up to be!!! May I add a couple of others to *my crew*:

Ozzie Helen- chief negotiator and group sing instructor with newlywed Bruce in tow

Moonchild- head of night manuevers and lunar orbit projectiles

And, let's not forget, because we DO believe in balance, the Howling Mudcat Commandos' Auxillary with the intrepid Peter T. as chief.

Anymore, ahem, volunteers?


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: sophocleese
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 01:16 PM

Sign me up katlaughing, I could be in charge of prisoners and play my guitar for them - despite what the Geneva convention states, it is NOT torture, really, (if the last couple I was guarding had perfect pitch and they ended up diving headfirst over a cliff, it was not my fault).


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: WyoWoman
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 01:20 PM

Singing sweetly from her post behind the boulders and sandbags, as she methodically aims her ordnance where the sun don't shine, comes the voice of U.S. Wyowoman, querilla editor extraordinaire,

'If I had a rocket launcher,
If I had a rocket launcher
Some sonuvabitch would dah-eeee....'


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: WyoWoman
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 01:21 PM

I mean Guerilla...

Say, isn't KoKo a guerilla, too???


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: bobby's girl
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 01:24 PM

Bobby's girl reporting for duty Ma'am! I'll deafen the opposition wih my morris bells, and if they get close enough, the razor blades sown into the edges of my hankies can do untold damage!


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Melodeon
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 03:27 PM

As a pacifist I have to be a consientious objector but I will volunteer as stretcher bearer and masseusse of damaged egos.

Melodeon


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Bert
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 03:31 PM

Hey 'cleese, can I be a prisoner? Please, I wanna be a prisoner, lemme be a prisoner.


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: emily rain
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 03:35 PM

em "the femme": soft spoken and retiring spy reporting for undercover work behind enemy lines.


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: MMario
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 03:43 PM

aw.....uncercover work behind enemy lines? Why should THEY have all the fun! How about some undercover work for the ALLIES?????


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: sophocleese
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 04:02 PM

Bert I'll let you be a prisoner but only if you lead the exotic dancing as I play my bodhran. And I warn you it has to be exotic if you're going to try and keep time with MY bodhran playing, sort of unintentional 11/4, 7/8, and 15/2 timing I think, interspersed with 6/8 and 4/4.


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: emily rain
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 04:11 PM

mm, shame on you. this is wartime! we all have to make sacrifices. now of course if you want to go undercover as some wacko taliban leader...


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Chet W.
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 04:17 PM

Shouldn't these messages be confidential, if not top secret! And where does Pat Buchanan fit in. Damn the torpedoes!

Chet


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 04:20 PM

Melodeon...me, too! That's a spiritual Kalishnikov which Peter has me waving around.

Now Hear This (I know it's Navy) Oh, alright, TenHut! By order of Sgt. Kat, all weapons are ordered to be of the spiritual variety only. These being the far superior weaponry of choice and effectiveness,(it's the consciousness, ya know!?) we expect everyone to wield theirs to their uptmost capacity. Karmic brownie points will be entered in the log of the day and will be toted up upon the Liberation of the Afghani Women!

'cleese, get that bohdran going, quickstep, we need a diversion. Ya got any veils we can dress Bert in for that dancing number? Add the guys from the Auxilliary and you'll have A Chorus Line....plenty of diversion for em's under(the)covers work. Go get 'em, em!

WyoWoman...didja ever dream we'd be half way around the world liberating our *sisters*? Keep it up, your role in leadership is crucial.

Womon your posts, all! Get ready!


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: sophocleese
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 04:28 PM

All right, you asked for it. Here's your veil Bert, is that an improvement or what?.

Come tread me the measure, I give you the pleasure, The one-step, the two-step, or three, The polka so tender You'll always remember, With joy if you tread it with me.

You'll be glad that we met - To the clarionette We will swing and we'll twist on the floor, With a bound we will mount, To the middle and count - One-two-three, one-two-three, four.

Good lo' Sarah Binks to get the blood moving and those veils swinging. Up and at'em.


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: MMario
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 04:30 PM

so that's the secret! they's gonna weld things to the afghani's upmost capacities! DANG! that's gonna HURT!


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 04:35 PM

MM, LMAO!!!! Guess it's just a natural for a *welder's* daughter!


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Bert
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 04:41 PM

'cleese, that bodhran should match my dancing perfectly.
Whether the veil is an improvement or not depends how much of me it hides. If it's about six feet or more long and made of blackout material it should do just fine.

Bert.


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: sophocleese
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 04:46 PM

I'm afraid its only about 5 feet long, (we'll get to see your foot work) black out material from the top to about 3 feet and then sheer with an engaging design of sequins. Will it suit?


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 04:47 PM

It's got to have those little tinkly bells hanging off it, too!*G*


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: sophocleese
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 04:52 PM

OOps. I knew I forgot something! I don't think I want to close my eyes and see what this would look like, but I have an idea of where the bells could go if the veil is too thin a fabric for them...Bert would certainly distract any and all from the undercover work.


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Bert
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 05:11 PM

Sounds as though it might work.


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: DonMeixner
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 10:45 PM

What a giggle! Jack Kirby is sitting up there in the Great Cosmos looking at this thread and grinning. Stan Lee is rewriting it to add more aliteration. I can't imagine how we worked a Marvel Comics connection into the Mudcat and yet. There it is. My hats off to you Peter.

vey well done.

Don


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 11:04 PM

Well Peter, I said it this AM and I'll say it again tonite...

"More bandwidth here....'bout 2 more skids......"

Truly inspired...and Don is right. He's a collector I understand, so he should know. But Don...What is it that doesn't get worked in around here?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Dave Swan
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 11:16 PM

Peter,

That's brilliant. All we need now is a tame illustrator.

Banging my head on the floor in tribute to your mastery.

E.S.


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 11:45 PM

Wyowoman skewered the tank in the sweet spot of the Bazooka's crosshairs. bbc slammed in a load and rapped Wyo's helmet."Fire in the friggin hole!" barked bbc, as Wyo took a deep breath, let half of it out, and pressed the trigger. The Iranian tank, garishly painted with phrases like "throw another log on the fire,Syrisha" and " Loose Women- Tight Veils", exploded in a fireball that illuminated the Chauvinist Oppressor's defensive positions.

Duckboots grinned and growled into the two-way. " Scorpion-Scorpion, the tank's your mark! Put your ordinance 40 yards west of it!" Jeri's voice crackled back," I'm on it, Sister!" The canyon was suddenly filled with the roar and chop of the Cobra Helicopter as it swept in, hovered for a split second, then slammed a pair of rockets dead center into the cowering pack of skulking wrong-thinkers.


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 12:17 AM

Sgt. Kat yelled Charge! and led her troops raging down the hill. Like whirling devishes doing the two step quick time interspersed with looonnnggg strides and leaps from boulder to boulder, they wreaked havoc among the chauvinists. As soon as they gathered the prisoners together, they made them strip off all of their gear, then all of their clothes. Then they handed them tight veils with bells attached and told them to wrap up and start walking. Celebratory uulations could be ehard from the ring of hills around them, as slowly, but proudly, Afghani women began to emerge from their caves of refuge. The Liberation Sisters of Afghanistan lead them in the triumphant procession to meet up with Kat and her band. One small battle had been won. Now could the Howling Mudcats get these "new recruits" ready in time for the next one?


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 12:54 AM

As Peter says, "prufreed, always prufreed!" Let's see they are dervishes; the uulations could be heard; the battle was won; and the question was could.....!!!Oy!!!


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 01:43 AM

Suddunly Cat and her colleegs were shocked by a racquet behind them. A raggid groop of ruffyans appeered on the bluffs- "Git them, my harty Lads!" there leader shouted," We have surprized them through deciet and cuning!" The Howling Mudcatteers were indeed caugt with there trouzers down!

" Take up your whepons, my bold grinadeers!" the conserned Ms Cat called out," It is the infamus band of blaggards known as The Miserable Spellers! Quickly, take up your dicshunnaries and thesauruses!"


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: roopoo
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 01:51 AM

Sounds like you need reinforcements, sisters. Count me in, there's nowt can beat a well-aimed size 8 clog! mouldy


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Peter T.
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 09:59 AM

[Dear Mick/Don, I read nothing but Marvel Comics from about age 11 to 16. I had every comic. Sold them all in 1983 for about $10,000 dollars when I needed the money -- hardest decision I ever made. When people talk about how children shouldn't be wasting their time reading comics, I laugh. How right they were. yours, Peter T.]


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Larry B.
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 11:33 AM

Meanwhile, the Dirty Tricks squad, led by "Crazy Larry" B., has spiked the water supply with "Essence of Dan Quayle", captured the TV station, and started a 24-hour-a-day program of "Murphy Brown" reruns. Soon the populace begins to believe it is real life.

LB


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 11:35 AM

Whoo-Hoo! Go Larry! Go Murphy!!!


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Barbara
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 11:44 AM

I don't suppose you want to know I drew underground comix for a while, do ya? Nah, I didn't think so...
What? Oh, Wimmen's Comix, mostly.
Shoot, I'd settle for blowing their minds...out any available orifice, Come on, charge, womyn! Fighting a never ending battle for truth, justice and the American Way...

I think those are actually ululations, Kat, and won't we all be in trouble when Max adds a spell chequer?
I don't mind having a men's auxillary, as long as they're cute and can cook... and, just a minute, I've got a Victor's Secret Catalogue around here someplace... ;>
Blessings,
Barbara


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Davey
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 11:49 AM

Kat and her troops weren't caught totally off guard, they were prepared for deception, and now they rolled out their secret weapon, a portable turntable and a 500 watt power speaker. Soon the 'soothing' strains of Slim Whitman echoed across the landscape. Within minutes, the enemy could be seen retreating, hands over their ears.
Using hastily constructed catapaults made from unneeded brassiere parts, Kat's Commandos next began lobbing boxes of McDonalds french fries into the enemy's camp. Soon her spotters announced a steady stream of the enemy heading for their latrines, hands over their ears and pants around their ankles... 'Now we've got 'em on the run' yelled Kat triumphantly.....


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Larry B.
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 12:08 PM

Barbara: Do you consider Hamburger Helper and other packaged mixes that allow for modifications cooking?

LB


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 01:51 PM

Davey: LMAO!!!BIG TIME!!! Barbara...got any copies of those comix?!! I knew the uu didn't look right, but was too lazy to consult the BIG book.:-)

And, co-ok? Ya wanna know can they co-ok?? Remember any of the food threads lately?? Or the casual mentions, here and there of what Catspaw, Rick and many of the others have fixed for dinner? And now, I reveal a secret which one of them shared with me. Watch them for any sudden moves! Okay, see.....most of them consider cooking easier to do than cleaning, so they are "Johnnys on the spot" when we mumble or grouse about being hungry, quick to accomodate our palates. They are hoping this will keep them from any dusting, running the vacuum, etc. Course I didn't tell him, we wimmin have always had it planned that way; it is so much easier for us to wave our magic wands and have the domicile sparkling in a twinkle than to pretend to do it all the mortal way with them!

Sorry for the interlude...back to the story, oh, Larry B, anything is better than c-rats! If ya can boil water, we'll find a place fer ya!

Boadicea lives!!!!! Ahahahaha!!!!


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: T in Oklahoma (Okiemockbird)
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 09:24 PM

I can hardly wait for the movie version. It's sure to become a cult classic

T.


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 09:44 PM

Yeah, kinda' brings the smell of stale popcorn into the room when you just think about it, doesn't it Tee ? I know Cleigh is really loking forward to the movie...Raisinets anyone?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: Susan A-R
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 10:37 PM

Susan A-R reporting for dudy ma'am. I can certainly infiltrate those awful spelers, and boy could I do a thing or two to their food. Nothing men fear more than VEGETARIAN cooking. Lemme at 'em. A little tofu, bean sprouts and tempeh and they'll be quivering masses of blue green algae. Oh, and I brought a batch of failed biscuits for the anti-tank guns. Don't know anything that pierces armor like whole grain bread gone amiss.


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: WyoWoman
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 10:44 PM

Suddenly, over a rugged hill still smouldering from recent blasts from the flamethrower walks a ragged, stooped man. Exhaustion is in his every step, and his body seems barely held up by his obviously defeated spirit.

From his tattered clothing we can tell that he is the enemy, a member of the Taliban we so recently and so soundly defeated. Our rifles are at the ready as he stumbles toward our camp. What harm he could do in this state, no one could say, but out of habit and well-deserved caution, we watch and are ready to back up our suspicions with action at the first sign of aggression.

But there is none. His face as he looks around the circle of triumphant women and the men who love them is beseeching and full of agony.

"Our women," he croaks. "A terrible epidemic seems to be sweeping through our people and our women and children are sick unto death. We know, by their absence from our lives, how precious they were to us, how they *were* our lives, and we beg you now to come and help us care for them.

"Can you find it in your hearts to give us your assistance, for we now know, and they surely know, that it is a woman's touch that made us strong, and it is a woman's touch that will heal them?"

Commander Kat stood looking at him for a moment, then her eyes swept the ragtag circle of warrior women surrounding her.

"Well," she said ....


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 10:57 PM

FOOD?!?!?!?! ...SusAR's cookin'??? Hot damn, I knew I'd find a spot in this turkey somewhere!!! Alright!!! In the Rear with the Gear!!! Brought along some Spelt flour here Susan...the ULTIMATE in armor piercing flour.......Say,uh.... Cleigh and I could do with a little Phad Thai while we're loading up munitions for the front..........We'll just be packin..DAMMIT CLEIGH!!! I wish you'd do that somewhere els.....uh,hmmmmm???...possum pellets could be useful..Fill a round with them and it'd be like really vile grape shot.....Alright Cleigh, you're forgiven. Just keep packing the biscuits........and go in that pan over there next time....

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Oct 99 - 11:30 PM

"By all the gawds and gawddess, if yer lying to us, you will dance in the hells of the nine-tailed donkey's arse for all eternity! Troops! Keep the green recuits together, here. Alright, I want my crack team to fall in, alla youse. Now, here's the plan....."

(Serious interlude....I just finished an editorial on the real situation in Afghanistan for women and the men who support them and democracy. It is horrible beyond belief. If anyone would like to read it, please let me know and I will email it to you, or post it, here or in a new thread, for general info, if everyone would like. Makes no difference to me. It just has a lot of info in it that I feel everyone should be aware of. barring that, any of you who are interested could just visit these two sites: www.amnesty.org or, www.RAWA.org, which stands for Revolutionary Association of Afghanistan Women. Thanks very much, Kat)


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Oct 99 - 02:09 PM

"Get the Auxillary in their veils and let's go! Right flank move out first, left will follow, the rest of youse follow me!"

As they streamed down the moutainside, the rest of the company made preparations to settle in for the long haul. They stood guard over the prisoner, fed him and gave him water to drink. In the far distance they could hear the advance guard making their way into the village he'd come from. It sounded as though the people of the town were shouting. Looking through their fieldglasses, they could make out a flagpole with a white pair of undergarments flapping in the slight breeze. The could also see thier own troops warily shaking hands and bowing to some official looking citizens. Then they were led away to a large building and could be seen no more.


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Subject: RE: Sgt.Kat and Her Howling Mudcat Commandos
From: T in Oklahoma (Okiemockbird)
Date: 16 Sep 00 - 11:42 AM

This is one of my favorite threads. I hope folk don't mind my refreshing it.

T.


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Mudcat time: 21 October 4:01 AM EDT

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