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BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011

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Wesley S 15 May 11 - 08:39 PM
Amos 15 May 11 - 09:11 PM
Rapparee 15 May 11 - 09:27 PM
Little Hawk 15 May 11 - 09:45 PM
EBarnacle 15 May 11 - 10:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 May 11 - 10:50 PM
McGrath of Harlow 16 May 11 - 07:27 AM
Greg F. 16 May 11 - 09:27 AM
Little Hawk 16 May 11 - 09:49 AM
Wesley S 16 May 11 - 09:54 AM
kendall 16 May 11 - 10:12 AM
Little Hawk 16 May 11 - 11:48 AM
Donuel 16 May 11 - 12:18 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 11 - 12:28 PM
Donuel 16 May 11 - 12:45 PM
sian, west wales 16 May 11 - 01:53 PM
gnu 16 May 11 - 02:02 PM
EBarnacle 16 May 11 - 03:13 PM
Bill D 16 May 11 - 06:21 PM
Rapparee 16 May 11 - 06:32 PM
Stringsinger 16 May 11 - 07:01 PM
gnu 16 May 11 - 08:28 PM
Rapparee 16 May 11 - 09:36 PM
Little Hawk 17 May 11 - 12:27 AM
EBarnacle 17 May 11 - 01:12 AM
Charley Noble 17 May 11 - 07:51 AM
Will Fly 17 May 11 - 08:12 AM
Rapparee 17 May 11 - 10:04 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 May 11 - 10:20 AM
YorkshireYankee 17 May 11 - 12:38 PM
Manitas_at_home 17 May 11 - 05:59 PM
Little Hawk 17 May 11 - 06:35 PM
Greg F. 17 May 11 - 06:44 PM
Don Firth 17 May 11 - 06:45 PM
Don Firth 17 May 11 - 06:47 PM
Bill D 17 May 11 - 06:57 PM
GUEST,biff 17 May 11 - 08:35 PM
Charley Noble 17 May 11 - 10:16 PM
Bobert 17 May 11 - 10:20 PM
EBarnacle 17 May 11 - 10:54 PM
Little Hawk 17 May 11 - 11:37 PM
GUEST,bankley 18 May 11 - 04:26 AM
Charley Noble 18 May 11 - 08:59 AM
Rapparee 18 May 11 - 09:16 AM
Donuel 18 May 11 - 10:19 PM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 19 May 11 - 07:01 PM
Jeri 19 May 11 - 07:07 PM
bobad 19 May 11 - 07:17 PM
Little Hawk 19 May 11 - 07:37 PM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 19 May 11 - 08:47 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Wesley S
Date: 15 May 11 - 08:39 PM

So in other words - a typical Monday.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 11 - 09:11 PM

Humans have always placed fantasies at the near boundary of the unknown; it makers it hard to learn new stuff, but it sure makes ignorance entertaining!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 11 - 09:27 PM

If I was a bettin' man I'd give you 100 to 1 that it wasn't gonna happen. Problem is, if I'm wrong how do I collect?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 May 11 - 09:45 PM

Obama has banned gun ownership???????????????

Hell, even the End of the World and the Rapture strike me as somewhat more likely to occur than that! ;-)

Only 6 days left now! Oh boy! Oh boy! Can't wait!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: EBarnacle
Date: 15 May 11 - 10:41 PM

Just think, all of those holier than thous of all religion arguing with The Man about who's right while the rest of us have a change to make a much less crowded place a whole lot more habitable for our grandchildren. Good riddance.

I believe I can get along without having my door getting knocked on by people trying to insist on the word of God as interpreted by their leaders.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 May 11 - 10:50 PM

Naw, Little Hawk, Obama was gonna ban gun ownership. That's why everybody stocked up on ammo. He just never got around to it on account of havin' to spend all his time forgin' birth certificates and attendin' Friday prayers down at the mosque.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 16 May 11 - 07:27 AM

Couldn't you just walk from one side of the International Date Line to the other?

Can't be done. You'd have to swim.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Greg F.
Date: 16 May 11 - 09:27 AM

Not if you used the deck of an aircraft carrier, Kevin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 11 - 09:49 AM

I see, Bee-dub. Well, that's a relief. The idea of ANY American president banning gun ownership seems about as crazy and unlikely to me as imagining that a German government would ban sausages and strudel....!

Not gonna happen. ;-D

About the Rapture though...do dogs get to go too? I would not want my Dachshund to be left behind when (and if) I get to "beam up".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Wesley S
Date: 16 May 11 - 09:54 AM

It sounds like you better get busy converting your weiner dog. Has he been baptized yet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: kendall
Date: 16 May 11 - 10:12 AM

I'm so glad our president simply doesn't have the power to ban guns. And,I have never seen anything that tells me he wants to except some fear mongering from the right wingers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 11 - 11:48 AM

Baptized? Hmm. I'm not sure. He has taken the plunge a few times at local lakes and rivers, but I'm not sure if that counts. Let me put it this way: If heaven won't take my Dachshund, then I'm not going either!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Donuel
Date: 16 May 11 - 12:18 PM

The Rapture/survivalist/Gold business is doing very well.

COmpetition is tough and tumble in the 'end of the world' biz.

There are hundreds of web sites by subscription only out there to rake in the bucks and spew fear beyond the imagination of FOX NEws.

Any of uis could amass a great profit by selling more of the same.

I could but have refused. How about you?

WOuld you trade ethics for 3.2 million dollars over the next 2 years?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 11 - 12:28 PM

Not unless my Dachshund could share in the spoils... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Donuel
Date: 16 May 11 - 12:45 PM

OK then LH, I'll send you the biz plan and we can be up and running in 3 days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: sian, west wales
Date: 16 May 11 - 01:53 PM

Well, this is very annoying. I was told on Facebook it was something like Oct 22. I wish these people would get their act together. (Or their Acts.)

Anyone here seen the Canadian film, Last Night? I particularly remember one scene - a family dinner where everyone had come together to spend the final 6 hours of Earth's existence. One old lady made a disparaging remark about the neighbours who had gone to a church camp on an Ontario lake and were spending their last hours paddling a canoe and singing Kumbaya. "They're Methodists, ya know."

A very Canadian film, that.

sian


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: gnu
Date: 16 May 11 - 02:02 PM

"Last Night" has been removed from YTube.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: EBarnacle
Date: 16 May 11 - 03:13 PM

Let's await the great Revelation on Sunday when all of the Faithful go to their respective churches and stare at each other in embarassment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Bill D
Date: 16 May 11 - 06:21 PM

Ruptured Raptures


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 11 - 06:32 PM

But LH, what if your dachsie goes and YOU don't?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Stringsinger
Date: 16 May 11 - 07:01 PM

"Can I has yer car?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: gnu
Date: 16 May 11 - 08:28 PM

Knock, knock, knockin on heaven's dick. When will they learn that the rapture is here and now? It's all about what you do for others and not about what you acheive for personal gain. Why can't these idiots see that? Is it not obvious to them?

Oh, yeah, right, sorry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 11 - 09:36 PM

I think it'd be funnier than a rubber crutch if all of the animals were taken up and people left behind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 11 - 12:27 AM

If the Dachsie goes and I don't, Rapparee, I will not object. Just the thought of him getting his little tummy rubbed in some heavenly paradise makes it all worthwhile as far as I'm concerned. ;-) I don't worry on my own account.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: EBarnacle
Date: 17 May 11 - 01:12 AM

The real test is whether the televangelists have their contracts end on the 21st.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Charley Noble
Date: 17 May 11 - 07:51 AM

Here's an appropriate song from the draft Housing Songbook:

Words and music by F. M. Lehman, © 1914

No Disappointment in Heaven

There's no disappointment in heaven,
No weariness, sorrow or pain;
No hearts that are bleeding or broken,
No song with a minor refrain;
The clouds of our earthly horizon
Will never appear in the sky,
For all will be sunshine and gladness,
With never a sob nor a sigh.

Chorus:

I'm bound for that beautiful city,
My Lord has prepared for His own;
Where all the redeemed of all ages
Sing "glory" around the white throne;
Sometimes I grow homesick for heaven,
And the glories I there shall behold:
What a joy that will be when my Savior I see,
In that beautiful city of gold.


We'll never pay rent for our mansion,
The taxes will never come due;
Our garments will never grow threadbare,
But always be fadeless and new;
We'll never be hungry nor thirsty,
Nor languish in poverty there,
For all the rich bounties of heaven
His sanctified children will share. (CHO)

They'll never be crepe on the doorknob,
No funeral train in the sky;
No graves on the hillsides of glory,
For there we shall nevermore die;
The old will be young there forever,
Transformed in a moment of time;
Immortal we'll stand in His likeness,
The stars and the sun to outshine. (CHO)

Notes:

After hearing the line "We'll never pay rent for our mansion," recalled by folk singer Jean Ritchie, I knew I'd never rest until I found all the words to this hymn. However, after months of fruitless search, leafing through countless gospel hymnals, I almost gave up hope. Then a friend of mine, Gunther Schmidt of Michigan, turned up no less than three copies of the song in his personal library.

The song was written by F. M. Lehman and was first published in Rodeheaver's Gospel Songs, © 1922, pp. 34-35. I prefer singing it to the tune of the Victorian tear-jerker "The Lightning Express" but take your choice.

Hallelujah,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Will Fly
Date: 17 May 11 - 08:12 AM

Couldn't you just walk from one side of the International Date Line to the other?

Can't be done. You'd have to swim.


Hey - I'm in luck! The international Date Line runs just a few miles from me down here in Sussex. Yippee! (Huh? What's that you say?...?)

Damn - I was confusing it with the Greenwich Meridian Line.

Shit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 11 - 10:04 AM

All the sinners will go. After all, "There is more joy in Heaven over one who repents than over a hundred who need no repentance." So all the sinners see what's happening, repent, and everybody's happy.

And the sinners get the best of everything and the biggest welcome.

Betcha mine will be the biggest!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 May 11 - 10:20 AM

I suppose this upcoming Rapture is associated with the second coming of a pissed off Jesus, right? Well, I suggest we all simply keep our eyes peeled and if we should see Jesus wandering around getting ready to do anything zappish, pass the bong to him and get him to mellow out. It's pretty unlikely that he'll end the world when he's busy jonesin' for chocolate ship cookies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 17 May 11 - 12:38 PM

This reminds me of one of my fave jokes:

The Pope calls all the Cardinals together for "a very important announcement". Once they have all gathered, he says, solemnly, "Gentlemen, I have good news and bad news...

"The good news is that our Lord Jesus has returned to earth -- it is the time of the Second Coming."

There is, of course an uproar while everyone takes in this amazing news and rejoices appropriately -- until someone finally remembers that the Pope has more to tell them.

"Holy Father, that's such wonderful news! How could any other news -- even bad news -- possibly matter now?"

"Well," says the Pope, "I'm afraid the call came from Salt Lake City..."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Manitas_at_home
Date: 17 May 11 - 05:59 PM

did anyone mention this?
http://www.aftertherapturepetcare.com/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 11 - 06:35 PM

Cool. It's nice to see that someone is giving serious (and compassionate) thought to that particular problem. That's the Internet for you. NO stone is left unturned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Greg F.
Date: 17 May 11 - 06:44 PM

If The Rupture Happened Right Now, What Would Happen To Your Pets?

I assume an all-knowing and all-loving God would have forseen this problem and taken care of it.

No?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Don Firth
Date: 17 May 11 - 06:45 PM

But when it comes to throwing rocks at sea birds, I leave no tern unstoned!

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Don Firth
Date: 17 May 11 - 06:47 PM

(By the way, Little Hawk, thanks for the straight line!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Bill D
Date: 17 May 11 - 06:57 PM

Caring for the animals after the Rapture, huh? I am anxious to hear how they will deal with all the Christian cattle ranches in Texas....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: GUEST,biff
Date: 17 May 11 - 08:35 PM

born again Harmonic Convergence


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Charley Noble
Date: 17 May 11 - 10:16 PM

I think it's nice that so many people are focused on raptors. There's about two dozen nests I've been watching and the chicks are growing by leaps and bounds.

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Bobert
Date: 17 May 11 - 10:20 PM

Do cows go the Heaven???

Never mind...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: EBarnacle
Date: 17 May 11 - 10:54 PM

Don, That's ruddy nice of you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 11 - 11:37 PM

You're most welcome! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: GUEST,bankley
Date: 18 May 11 - 04:26 AM

Is this like the Horsemen of the Epoxy-lips ?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Charley Noble
Date: 18 May 11 - 08:59 AM

Anyone following Doonesbury? Evidently the world as we know it also comes to an end October 21.

The good news is that those of us who don't levitate to Heaven on May 21st still have several more months to have great fun.

I was thinking that I might be missing the Mystic Sea Music Festival in June. Whew!

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 11 - 09:16 AM

I think it would be cool to see everyone except the holier-than-thous go up. Me, I've had it so rough I'm surprised I didn't ascend outa here years ago.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Donuel
Date: 18 May 11 - 10:19 PM

Methodists ?!?! no wonder.

wadabuncha posers.



but seriously...


Glen Beck is now happy to be offering you a $5000 trip to Jerusalem which will secure you from harm and be the most important gathering of souls in recorded history.

Thats $5K per person plus incidentals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 19 May 11 - 07:01 PM

The 'rapture theory' is wholesale nonsense!...and totally NOT supported by their scriptures!...and....
they have their 'public services announcement'...then follow it up with 'where to send contributions'.
I think this is another attempt to discredit a lot of sincere Christians, and replace their validity with a bunch of horse-puke!

GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Jeri
Date: 19 May 11 - 07:07 PM

It doesn't discredit sincere Christians, just the people who think this is gonna happen. Luckily for those of us ridiculing them, they won't be around to rub it in if it really happens.

BTW, horses are physically incapable of puking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: bobad
Date: 19 May 11 - 07:17 PM

I categorically support ascendancy for the righteous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 May 11 - 07:37 PM

I categorically support ascendancy for anyone who can manage it. Spiritual ascendancy, that is...not political or military ascendancy. ;-) If I thought spiritual ascendancy was limited to born-again Christian notions about "the Rapture", I'd be worried....but it isn't. Everyone wishes to move higher (toward ascendancy) in whatever they are truly interested in, but we aren't all interested in the same things, obviously, and that's probably a good thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 19 May 11 - 08:47 PM

bobad: "I categorically support ascendancy for the righteous."

Let God be the judge of that!!

Jeri: "BTW, horses are physically incapable of puking."

Maybe if they had enough 'faith'!..but that won't get any 'rapturists' off the ground!

GfS

P.S...Oh..and 100!!


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