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BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability

Dorothy Parshall 01 Feb 11 - 08:55 PM
Stilly River Sage 01 Feb 11 - 06:49 PM
wysiwyg 01 Feb 11 - 05:56 PM
katlaughing 01 Feb 11 - 04:12 PM
Dorothy Parshall 01 Feb 11 - 03:52 PM
wysiwyg 01 Feb 11 - 02:37 PM
Stilly River Sage 01 Feb 11 - 01:13 AM
Stilly River Sage 31 Jan 11 - 06:55 PM
wysiwyg 31 Jan 11 - 04:35 PM
LilyFestre 31 Jan 11 - 10:41 AM
wysiwyg 31 Jan 11 - 09:36 AM
mouldy 31 Jan 11 - 02:44 AM
Stilly River Sage 31 Jan 11 - 12:51 AM
Stilly River Sage 30 Jan 11 - 06:57 PM
wysiwyg 30 Jan 11 - 05:55 PM
Stilly River Sage 29 Jan 11 - 05:12 PM
mouldy 29 Jan 11 - 12:44 PM
Stilly River Sage 29 Jan 11 - 11:34 AM
Dorothy Parshall 28 Jan 11 - 04:17 PM
Stilly River Sage 28 Jan 11 - 10:08 AM
maire-aine 28 Jan 11 - 09:26 AM
Stilly River Sage 28 Jan 11 - 12:20 AM
Stilly River Sage 27 Jan 11 - 09:06 PM
Dorothy Parshall 27 Jan 11 - 08:52 PM
Stilly River Sage 27 Jan 11 - 07:35 PM
LilyFestre 27 Jan 11 - 06:15 PM
Dorothy Parshall 27 Jan 11 - 03:59 PM
mouldy 27 Jan 11 - 02:34 PM
Dorothy Parshall 27 Jan 11 - 11:49 AM
mouldy 27 Jan 11 - 10:03 AM
mouldy 27 Jan 11 - 09:59 AM
Stilly River Sage 27 Jan 11 - 09:33 AM
wysiwyg 27 Jan 11 - 09:10 AM
LilyFestre 26 Jan 11 - 07:49 PM
maire-aine 26 Jan 11 - 07:44 PM
Stilly River Sage 26 Jan 11 - 06:55 PM
wysiwyg 26 Jan 11 - 06:47 PM
mouldy 26 Jan 11 - 05:31 PM
LilyFestre 26 Jan 11 - 04:10 PM
wysiwyg 26 Jan 11 - 02:31 PM
GUEST,Bizibod 26 Jan 11 - 07:44 AM
Stilly River Sage 25 Jan 11 - 11:42 PM
GUEST,mg 25 Jan 11 - 06:44 PM
Stilly River Sage 25 Jan 11 - 04:17 PM
GUEST,mg 25 Jan 11 - 03:41 PM
katlaughing 25 Jan 11 - 03:09 PM
Dorothy Parshall 25 Jan 11 - 01:15 PM
Stilly River Sage 25 Jan 11 - 10:47 AM
mouldy 25 Jan 11 - 07:44 AM
Stilly River Sage 25 Jan 11 - 02:29 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 08:55 PM

Thanks, S. I need to keep those thoughts handy to keep up a momentum.

Kat, I have not yet felt led to send that email. I hear you! The schism between bro and me is very hard on Rob, a peacekeeper. Bro is in some ways fragile, but in others a steamroller. I will give the situation time to season some more. It sure is wonderful not to hear the phone at 8 am when bedtime was 2!

Decluttering is also getting rid of extraneous and/or unnecessary distractions/disruptions. Because I need silence so much, I am fairly good at that but Rob has been trained since birth to cope with bro. I am a trainer/mother/therapist/coach. Rob answers the phone less and hangs up more often because I have encouraged it. I actually set out on a training sort of program: training Rob not to answer the phone if he does not want to, to hang up if bro becomes abusive. I turn off the ringer on our home phone for the night. If he is desperate, bro can leave a message on home phone and we hear it; if it is a crisis, Rob can respond. There was one in the middle of a night recently when bro was feeling really ill. Rob called back and went to spend the rest of the night with him.

Other times, the messages are usually ignored. Bro is "a drama queen". He is almost 70 and not ill but does not take care of self - not enough sleep, falls asleep on the mouse pad! I also know that if the crisis is severe, he can phone my cell phone. I think I have the bases covered! He is Rob's last close relative. They have lost both parents in last three years. Rob may not be strong enough to lose his brother; He recognizes he is an abused bro and a co-dependent. We work on it in the light of this knowing. I would love to de-clutter the bro out of our lives completely but it would be counter-productive right now. They are also business partners. So we learn better coping devices and get better at following through with them. And bro is getting less demanding as he realizes he is not going to have what he wants - total control. Too bad his parents could not do that 69 years ago.

what to keep and what to let go of.... Which ropes to hang on to and which to let slide off the deck.

I've started a new bag for the thrift shop which is full already. I took two more boxes of stuff into the shed and sorted lots into better places. Filled one cupboard with canned soups or meals, sardines, such and showed Rob, "if I am not here..." Put a crocheted throw on the LR chair; it brightens it nicely. And bought 3 African violets, repotted them into Af. violet pots and said "hello" to them this morn. So perky! Planted some crocus bulbs in a shallow bowl; they missed last fall's planting. Groomed and watered the foliage plants and turned them some. Growing things are such a joy - plants, children, people, raccoon kits...


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 06:49 PM

Here is the February thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: wysiwyg
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 05:56 PM

That is an awful lot of words to deal with, S.!!!

What I enjoy about it is also what makes it hard to deal with-- whenever I copy-edit, I go into the reality of the writer-- have to, to make any adjustments that fit the voice of the author. Sometimes it's hard to back out of that reality and get back into present-time, but it's always worth the trip and I always learn much more than I give in the work. I also find that I am well into the realities of the people who will ultimately read the material-- what will they pick up on, wonder about, care about, etc. In this case I found out that a good number of pieces to work with at a time would have been 4 or 5-- not 10-12! :~) But the backlog is well on its way to being done, and they will not pile up again, now that I have been able to identify another volunteer and the process to follow.

DP, if I might offer an observation-- you seem to be traveling at warp speed. I'm impressed. You seem to know your own process quite well.

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: katlaughing
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 04:12 PM

Also, if I copy these posts to file, "Stuff of life", it will give me a handle on where I am right now when I come to write more for myself later.

That's a great idea, Dorothy!

Also, I would be careful sending a note of thanks to toxic brother. From my own experience, it was seen as a boundary being re-opened and they went right back to being intolerable. Positive feedback/re-enforcement doesn't always work.

I took a few days off from all electronic media. In the meantime, we kept up our usual weekly chores and I did a couple of rounds of qi gong as well as rested a lot. Still only back on a ltd. basis for a while longer.


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 03:52 PM

That is an awful lot of words to deal with, S.!!!

I had an opening on Sunday. It occurred to me that although I have many bits of paper around with ideas and, also, partly started writings, I am not getting it done. Is it important? I went through the thought process of "If I wait for a clear leading, or to be "kicked by God", I might never get anything done. That Quaker saying, "way will open when I get out of my own way" is on my mind. Also the consideration of why we do things. The bank manager will not wait for a clear leading before one pays their mortgage! But, that aside, Why do I do things? What is important to me? Is this procrastination or simply a detour that I have been following? More the latter than the former, I believe.

I say, "I'm retired. I don't have to do anything!" That is largely true. However, I pay the few bills because it is necessary. I buy food and cook meals because I want Robin to be as healthy as possible (and me). I am actually learning to cook again after years of being alone, cooking healthy but bare essentials. R is willing to eat the same thing everyday, as am I, but, I have found, he enjoys different things also. So I, who used to cook for 25-50 with no effort, am re-looking at that aspect. The veggie chili has been a big hit, both at home and at the potluck. Encouragement - which we each need.

Today I printed out the recipe and put it in a plastic sleeve, with others, that were floating around loose, on the opposite side. And there was a page of cranberry recipes floating so I used another sleeve for those. And then put the sleeves and some other items where they are meant to live, where I will find them more easily next time.

Organized food stuffs in the K and some other items around the house, trying to get as organized as currently possible. Realized, not for the first time, the more I get done, the more I get done. The corollary is that the less I do, the less I feel like doing.

The K ceiling is closed in. I had to leave home on Saturday to avoid the dust so I shopped at the market and then read in the car. It was not too bad when I got home but we went out for supper so the dust could get sucked up by the air cleaner.

Sunday, Rob went to smooth the plaster and the dust gave me a headache in five minutes. I went ballistic. Realized that I perceive dust as "my worst enemy". I have been sicker from dust inhalation than anything else, by far. To the point where seeing dust on TV would make my gut start to knot and I had to talk to myself, "It's only on TV!"

The rest of Sunday was a relaxed day, after meeting, potluck and a meeting to consider the role of the clerk, we came home with a f/Friend who has become quite special to us and we just sat and talked, with tea and cheese and crackers. We agreed to do this more often. She was our first invited guest. We knew she could deal with our indoor camping, non-judgmentally.

I asked Rob to put off refining the plastering until we get to the actual "remodeling" of the K.

It occurs to me that I need to start thinking about what that new K could look like. Add this to the other tasks that I WANT to get done. Doing things because they are important to me, therefore, I need to do them because I want to do them. Because I will feel good - more contented, more fulfilled, more useful....

I thought this morning that I am waking up from a long nap. It is time to wake up and start pedaling instead of just coasting along. I might be around this land for another 20 years. I can't just sit and read novels! I can't because that is not the way I WANT to SPEND my life.

The last few days, I have had tolerable conversations with toxic bro who has stopped phoning too early and too late. I must email him and thank him.

Also, if I copy these posts to file, "Stuff of life", it will give me a handle on where I am right now when I come to write more for myself later.


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: wysiwyg
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 02:37 PM

I have the rest of the backBlog material now, and have edited/titled about a dozen entries (about another 5000 words). If the ice doesn't knock out the 'net tomorrow I'll get them UP. Then there are a few more whose content I can plunder for other uses.

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 01:13 AM

The awful weather is headed this way. But about sunrise we'll know if school and work is canceled or if the weather missed us. Prediction is getting so good now that they can almost tell you the hour the rain will start.

Dishes are finished - I was going to put them off, but that line about doing things because there isn't a right time for a lot of these chores that will ever happen. I did them tonight so it will be a clean kitchen in the morning. I didn't start taxes tonight - yes, I put it off, but I did other things. Tomorrow the taxes are first thing if work is canceled, otherwise it is an evening activity.

The dog houses have been emptied and fresh was installed. Their heater is on, and tonight they'll be fine, it'll start getting really cold tomorrow during the day, with the coldest weather overnight on Tuesday and Wednesday. They'll come in the house those nights or if the days are really cold. I had to use the neti pot to rise the dust and hay out of my sinuses, and I've still been sneezing.

I can hear the rain, it's time to go to bed to hear it on the roof and window.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 06:55 PM

Michelle, I think all of us with kids have been watching to see when the day would come that you'd have to start moving stuff up, getting the gates, locks, covers, etc that go with a roving baby. I'm glad to see he's developing normally, but it does mean you're really on your toes for a while as he explores his world. :)

Dropped my truck at the dealer for some work. I've been smelling gas, something you're not supposed to unless maybe you're at the gas station. Hopefully I'll get it back tomorrow, but with the weather headed our way, it might not be until Wednesday.

The switch on my electricity provider went through, and a note came from the state board that oversees these things (They're in place in case someone grabs accounts without proper authority.) Insurance taken care of. That's the financial housecleaning that needed doing. Now for some scanning.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: wysiwyg
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 04:35 PM

About 4000 words later, the blog is updated with all the entries I had received, and the training elements and process have been determined. (The date for that is later this week.) There are probably still more entries I will receive to be woven in-- but hopefully not on the puder with the hard disk that is about to crash, because the work itself went much faster than the CPU did.

OTOH it WAS nice to be back in the home office with doggeh, sun, and lunch-- and I finished a good book waiting for the CPU to catch up! :~)

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: LilyFestre
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 10:41 AM

Today I am measuring the area between the living room and the hallway. We have a post and beam house and as such, it is very open which is lovely and part of the reason we so loved this house when we purchased it. However, Jeremiah is now exploring freely which keeps me running. It's WONDERFUL that he is exploring, crawling, growing and just about walking but naturally we want to keep him safe. So. We will be putting up a half wall between the living room and hallway so as to create a door way area that can be gated to keep him in one room. The side of the wall facing the living room will be wainscoated. The top will be hand planed oak from Pete's grandfather's homestead. The side facing the hallway will be shelves that have a door to keep anything on the shelf free of dust and dog hair.

My goal for the week is to empty the living room of anything that is not essential. Pretty things can be boxed up or moved to our bedroom. Videos/CDs/DVDs can go to my office. Magazine baskets will be sorted, unwanted stuff going to the House Of Care where people have nothing to do but wait for an appointment, procedure or loved one....reading material is always welcomed.

Both baby and mama are bathed and dressed before 10:00am...a record around here! I did some major coupon clipping and sorting last night and during the baby's naptime, I'll match up the coupon to the sales. Later today we go grocery shopping. The only thing in my cart that will not be on sale is milk.

Tonight I am looking forward to a class in finance. :) I'm interested in a new perspective. I am contemplating a swing by my dear friend Tracy's house as I have a mountain of baby pictures for her that she has patiently been waiting for. Jeremiah and I will also start to make our Valentines today.

:) Michelle


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Subject: BackBlog: Declutter & Accountability
From: wysiwyg
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 09:36 AM

This will probably sound to some like it was procrastinating, but it wasn't-- this denominational life has a rhythm I know well and work with.

This is the time I have waited for, to update a blog I tend for someone else. I have a pile of raw material to edit and post, and then I will be training that person whose blog it is to post his own updates in future. Why there is a backlog-- LOL, backBLOG-- is because we knew there would be little or no traffic there until the site that points to it got more traffic, which is occurring now due to other site work there that is near completion (mostly search engine optimization). The BEST paRT OF THIS IS THAT THE GOALS WE SET FOR THAT SITE ARE REACHING FRUITION,

sorry capslock

... with a couple of new volunteers to help gather and submit content for the site, about to be trained to come on board. A structure for that took some time to mature and I'm thrilled that as soon as it was possible, the BEST peeps to carry on that part of the job immediately came forward (because sometimes that step takes years).

So it's going to be FUN to slog thru the backBlog stuff because I CAN see the light at the end of that tunnel and it is not a train running at me, but a clear view to the other responsibilities that have been warming up on the front burner.

Anyway later I'll post at least a word count on the backBlog and have a clue how long it will take to post it all.

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: mouldy
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 02:44 AM

This is a week when I can see myself staying in quite a bit, as I am expecting Ernie for the stove "early" this week, and Brian for the loft hatch. No time and day for either of them. Both said they'd ring to say when they were coming.

However, having had a visit to Marks and Spencer yesterday, I have decided to have the first wardrobe de-clutter of this house.

Andrea


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 12:51 AM

The walk with the dogs was wonderful, we were out for about 30 minutes and did some of the cross-country travel that they adore. We headed into the woods near my house, came out on the other side past the new houses, and walked up the hill and back down to the house.

This evening I finished the last of the paperwork for my tax preparation. It took a while to line up the numbers for the various donations to Goodwill, our local charity shop/thrift store (I keep photos of everything I donate, and a few were difficult to find- until I remembered they were eBay photos of things that didn't sell). During the search I was able to tidy my computer photo files and I'll defrag the computer this week after so much clearing out. I dumped several gig of duplicate files and working files I don't need any more. Feels good!

So, I have several appointments this week and I will remind myself that it is just as easy to be on time as it is to be late. And I'll remind myself that it is nice to finish things and move onto new projects, rather than let old ones nag at me. This includes the taxes - I'll start them tomorrow evening. There's no saying that they'll go fast, but it isn't a complicated year like some, when there were divorces or estates or lots of medical bills.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Jan 11 - 06:57 PM

This procrastinator reform process can be a bit wrenching - conflicting voices, the old "you don't need to do it now" one is doing battle with "if you do it now, you won't need to worry about it later and you can enjoy some free time for once." But I have made progress. I read a bit yesterday and again today, and I'll share a few points.

She says to "stop the 'shoulds'" by rewording the internal dialog. For example

"I should stop procrastinating" -> "I will feel better about myself if I make some progress."

I should be on top of things -> "I like feeling organized."

These and several others are intended to help the readers push themselves into doing the activity they are considering ignoring. They're also meant to help stop the self-critical tone we may have learned from parents or teachers or others in childhood ("you're lazy!") and have internalized as adults.

Negative emotions like guilt and negative thinking like self-criticism can affect your actions. They keep procrastination going instead of stopping it. . . . You can increase your chances of overcoming your tendency to procrastinate if you can get past the haibit of beating yourself up.


And the one that I have been the master of for way too long:

Stop Making Excuses.

This is the next chapter, I've just started. I've been aware assigning blame to everything but myself. Too many red lights made me late, waiting for the kids made me late, finding a parking space made me late . . . things misplaced, when if I'd simply put them in the correct file folder when they arrived, or paid it when it arrived (of course, having the money is a limiting factor on this one) would have made things easier.

I have to go walk the dogs. This is good for them and for me, and so the last point I'll make is that as I work through the chapters in this, I realize that the work I do in one area is also happening in others. And I need to make time for myself as much as I do for everything else I've been putting off. So it's out the door with the girls for a sunset walk on this pretty evening.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: wysiwyg
Date: 30 Jan 11 - 05:55 PM

I think I finally have the energy-hogging spare fridge emptied this time, to be hauled away as soon as I can arrange it. It was ancient when we moved in here and time has not improved it a bit. The newer, efficient freezer and the less-bulk-type shopping we do now means we do not need the overflow space anymore.

Later this evening we're FreeCycling=-in two kitteh-condos to help the warring felines reach equilibrium. The latest cat added is not willing to be friends with the two here-first cats, who do love to snuggle together. This will provide the UP space Katy is longing to occupy.

One of the condos will go in the snugglers-only zone-- replacing a couch that I believe will soon need to yield space to a workout machine we're looking at for ME. That couch was nice to sleep on, but it's past time for buh-bye to it. Keeping the cushions for dog beds and the couch will join the porch-nappers department. The other, taller condo (two sections) will come into the main house.

This FC also includes a pack of nice notecards also-- I go thru so many that I can never seem to keep up a supply!

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 05:12 PM

Very busy at the regional recycling depot when I went by to drop off a big bag of stuff. I had to wait in line about 15 minutes to get into the place. My village is now accepting quite a few recyclables, so I'll start taking them over there more and take just the items that they don't take over to Fort Worth. I swung by the swap area and found a dozen terracotta flower pots to use to start seeds for my garden bedding plants.

Sprinkled a bag full of flower seeds that a co-worker brought in for a gardener's exchange two autumns ago. I figure most of them will still be viable, and after the scraping the village public works guys did under the trees in the wild area across the road from me this week, it needs something! By scattering them I cleared a bag out stuff out of my sun room. It's 76o today, so the only reason I'm in right now is that I'm giving my eye a few minutes to stop feeling so smeary after putting in one of today's doses of ointment.

I have several eBay items to fool with this evening, particularly if I can find the boxes they originally came in. Looks like a trip to the attic. I'm sure I kept them.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: mouldy
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 12:44 PM

It's 2C here ar the moment, and it's starting to get dark. Somebody was mumbling about the proper cold weather coming back next week...Lovely! I got sick of shovelling last month. We're clear at the moment. I don't want any more Winter! Yesterday felt like Spring. then we had a hard frost last night, and it hasn't really warmed up much all day.

Anyway...had a builder round today. A local bloke. He did the estimate about 4 years ago, but can't remember what it was. However, he knows the architect, and how the planning regs all work. He's going to get as much info as he can, and says he'll probably get the quote to me in a ccouple of weeks. The going rate for new builds is about £1000 per square metre of floor. I have a 2 storey building with, as a guesstimate, about 25-30sq.m. Then there will be the cost of getting all the demolition off, and materials onto the site, as the access isn't very easy. He reckons the prics shouldn't be a lot different to what he quoted before, as materials and labour costs haven't changed much (although the VAT has just gone up to 20%). One thing though, I liked him as a person, which is a good start, I suppose.

Andrea


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 11:34 AM

Saturday and it's warm and sunny. I'm working in the house this morning, then headed out to lunch with friends. When I return, I'll do some yard work.

Last night I dusted around the whole house with my industrial dust mop. I hadn't used it for years, the cats peed on it a couple of times so it was washed and put away (there are no cats now).

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 04:17 PM

SRS:You may be interested in this site which the Canadian Quakers have posted on the tar sands. It is interesting to me that the TV in the USA and Canada are so very different. We watched Suzuki's program last night - two hours on the tar sands. What a horror and a travesty.

http://qewnet.ning.com/forum/topics/alberta-tarsands-background?commentId=2579847%3AComment%3A5641

I just finished watching Little Mosque on the Prairie, a wonderful show about small town life in the Canadian midwest - where Muslims and Christians live in relative harmony. It is shown in 80 countries so I was surprised when I posted a comment on FB and a friend (US) thought I was making a joke. It has been on four years and is tremendously popular.

Talked with someone, at length, this morning about the article on raccoon care. She and her husband rescued them for years.

So today, I went to thrift shop, took big bag of stuff and came home with four useful items. Also bought some groceries. I wonder if this particular store refers to me as Ms. 50% off as I usually only buy things which are marked down. Very helpful to the budget. I only go there for that reason.

Another springlike day! However, I have no illusions. We had snow on 7-8 May last year, after a mild winter. So I shall enjoy this but Saturday is downhill again. At least our water is thawed. I took another detox bath today since I felt so much better after the last one and felt not as good today. The dust does get to me. The ceilings still need work; R has had to focus on business.

I killed a lamb's wool sweater while the cold was off in the laundry. It was WARM! But I have other warm sweaters. Oh well. I keep up with laundry daily and the dishes. Bills always get paid but I don't have many. My environmental sensitivity is my only health issue; I depend on a friend and what I have learned myself over the years to keep that under control - hence the detoxing.

NOW, get dressed, read for awhile. Cafe tonight for our social musical event of the week.


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 10:08 AM

Understood, Maryanne! It's way better down here and I'm ready for spring to encroach on winter.

In the self-improvement exercises, I clearly heard the procrastination dialog this morning when the alarm went off: "Hit the snooze button just once, that's all, just once, you won't feel so sleepy in 7 minutes." Hit it a couple of times before I made myself stop doing that.

Aarrgggh!


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: maire-aine
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 09:26 AM

Whine alert!

I've had it with winter. I'm tired of shovelling snow (granted, we haven't had nearly as much as the folks on the US east coast). My boots make my bunion hurt, so I can't even go out walking. I want winter over with, soon. Thank you.

End of whining.

Maryanne


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 12:20 AM

not "the address" but "they address."

Filed some things, now I'm off to bed to read a little.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Jan 11 - 09:06 PM

I've looked down on the tar sands in Google Earth. It's huge and toxic - what a waste, and all of that oil is probably consumed in the U.S. by folks who don't have a clue about the environmental mess to get it.

Laundry and some repotting of stuff on the potting table I moved into the house last month. It is handy, but I have to remind myself to do something with that dresser sooner rather than later, or I'll be back to difficulty reaching things, like when the grizzly bear rug lived in there.

This evening I pulled together a couple of paperwork things I've been moving around and putting off. Definitely procrastinating on calling and updating insurance again. My mortgage tyrants always insist flood be at same level as house replacement, but the upgrade isn't built into the flood policy. Every year the address a flyspeck of a problem with a sledgehammer of a letter and a draconian solution if I don't respond quickly enough. No wonder I put that one off--as one of the quizzes suggests, I don't like to be told what to do! My watchdog reporter suggests in his book (I read it last year then reviewed it) that you give yourself 15 minutes a day to tackle these things that you'll soon put many things that bug you to rest. So that's what I'll do tomorrow.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 27 Jan 11 - 08:52 PM

Phone call worked. R came home for lunch (4 pm), drove me to my car. Hey, my first ride in the "new" truck. it is so much better riding in something one does not expect to fall apart any minute!

Then a quick trip to the library, which was closing soon. Then minimal groceries. I'll do more tomorrow. Supper is cooking. We are watching David Suzuki's two hour program on the Alberta tar sands, a crime against the native people and the entire planet.

The newspaper reporter whom I asked about doing an article on raccoons, responded that h would be delighted. He met Frick when doing an article on the story behind R's assault. Another reporter whom I contacted responded with phone number re Steiner school. Ask and... I feel good about these things. I DID it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Jan 11 - 07:35 PM

Dorothy, I'm glad these remarks were useful! The author challenges we procrastinators to not put the book down after the first chapter, but to leave it in plain sight, even "keep it in the bathroom and read it when you have time to spare." Now isn't that a euphemism! But I do read in there quite often. ;-D

I've checked in at Mudcat a couple of times today, but I know that once I start writing in the thread, I am totally distracted from what I was doing before. As I start out the program in the book, I figured I'd better keep my visits brief.

I finished two projects today that I've been working on for a week or more. And I saw myself doing it - this is like the fish suddenly able to see the water it swims in. I pulled up two documents this afternoon that I had to merge into one announcement. As I pulled them up I had a mental "ugg!" thought, and found myself doing the old routine of getting up out of my chair (which would NORMALLY lead to heading into the kitchen for something to drink, swinging by the back door and give the dogs a pat, and off to who knows where before getting back to the computer). The thing that comes out early in the first chapter of shortcuts and techniques is what I would simply call "Name it when you see it."

I saw myself turning away from a boring task and gave myself the opportunity to get a drink of water then come back in and sit down and actually do the boring task. And this is the second of these today. So though these are baby steps right now, I do feel good that I finished these two uninteresting but necessary projects.

I also had a personal task to do, I'm still juggling phones for my son. He needs the extra alarms on the newer model of the phone I had here for the house, so I swapped out the account so that phone that is now in the mail (posted at lunchtime) is the one that he will use, and I have an older phone put back into service for the house number. I use it rarely and I don't need those alarms, etc. I made myself do all of that - from contacting the phone company and switching the phones - to the postal end of things - all in one fell swoop.

I'm not reformed yet, but it feels like it was a good day. I have things to do around the house and for myself this evening, so lets see how the "name it when you see it" policy works for chore avoidance.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: LilyFestre
Date: 27 Jan 11 - 06:15 PM

More laundry for me today, dishes done, etc. I did not sit down with all the medical paperwork yet but it's simmering in my thoughts and I now give it a passing glance and thought as I walk by. It will happen soon. Had lunch with a friend today who hasn't seen me since my hair really started coming in..that was kind of fun! I cleaned out my car and part of the bathroom too. Leftover pot roast with carrots and baked potato here for dinner here. Any remaining meat and veggies will be made into soup tomorrow...my favorite part!
I also did some rearranging in the living room as Jeremiah is crawling and exploring like crazy. I turned his pack and play sideways to block the slider, the dog bed is blocking the stairway, his hoppy is blocking the glass door on the entertainment center, a fireplace screen is blocking the pellet stove..it's a regular maze around here. No matter. My little one is happy and safe! :)

Michelle


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 27 Jan 11 - 03:59 PM

Spent two hours re-organizing/checking boxes in the shed. Climbing around over boxes and moving them into their own category area, I was thankful that the shed is strong enough for me to use the structural pieces for assistance, carefully.

Found things which have been on my list for a while. Also took out all the stuff that could go out there and found space that did not interfere with continued organizing. Brought in some useful items and found space for most before lunch.

Now I am watching the wonderful Little Mosque on the Prairie. Then I will phone Rob to see if I can recoup my car so I can shop and go to the library.


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: mouldy
Date: 27 Jan 11 - 02:34 PM

All being well, if Ernie at the stove shop gets his act together, I should have one next week (smug mode engaged!)

Andrea - Who is now going to go soak her Zumba'd body in a hot bath. Half the class disappears into the local WW meeting down the road straight afterwards!


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 27 Jan 11 - 11:49 AM

Feels like a spring day! 26 F today. Kitchen still a mess. "Could you please...?" Hopefully today. He did not finish K before starting on hole in ceiling of powder room. However, it has helped; I know because the upstairs bathroom is no longer warm from heat escaping through the holes! But it's OK and the upstairs sitting room is warm enough. The tree is very happy.

The beautiful blue velvet Victorian sofa, upstairs, now has three beautiful-on-it pillows which were clutter downstairs. I almost took them to thrift shop but something held me back. I don't know where Rob dragged them in from, a few months ago, and several others, dragged in, went to the shop but these are deep burgundy with goldish embroidery...

There is a not-Victorian armchair up there. "Did this come out of the trash?" "I LOVE that chair!!" I will have to find a throw for the very ugly-to-me but, apparently, very comfortable chair!

Rob had to rush off and do business related stuff today. I showed him SRS' posts on Getting things Done. He will read "anything"! All I have to do is put it in front of him. Last night he read back through posts and saw mine. "It sounds like we are indoor camping?" "We are." I do think those posts of SRS' are helpful. They address the whole situation so well.

I have done what I planned on Tuesday. Yesterday, I was car-less. Rob needed it to get to work but did not bring it back at 2 pm as I suggested. About 6 he wandered in and we visited with my sister in law on Skype. Then he went off again. Still no car.

So I made chili (vegan), something I have not done since I had a luncheonette in 76-77. It came to me in a flash of light, I found a recipe on line and put it together for our late supper. It is excellent. Rob suggested I make it for Sunday's potluck. Nice change from gingered chick peas!

During the afternoon, I finished the last novel in my pile, did FB stuff, took a de-tox bath and was in recovery when Skyped.

I am comfortable with what I am getting done. Today I will be able to put more stuff into shed - necessary to keep but not indoors. Also take out the burgeoning compost. Nothing like a spring day to energize one. Hopefully my car will return so I can get needed veggies and some other items. Also need to go to the library. When work is done in K, I will clean up mess and put it back into the closest possible semblance of order.

I keep adding things to the big bag for thrift shop but have not gotten out that way. Upstairs will slowly come together. Rob hopes to have his new office by next Tuesday's visit from OT. Dominique gives us both hope/support and him a better sense of goals.

Noted Andrea's long trip for plumbing supplies! Living in the city does have some advantages. But I sure would have loved a wood stove this week!

Off to the shed, I go!


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: mouldy
Date: 27 Jan 11 - 10:03 AM

However...
I took 6 more boxes and packing paper to the tip this morning.
I rang 2 builders this afternoon (and had to leave messages) plus the planning officer to ask about the archaeological survey (she wasn't there either, so I emailed her instead).

Andrea (just chilling now as I ache from morris on Tuesday, and it's Zumba tonight...plus a ceilidh tomorrow)


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: mouldy
Date: 27 Jan 11 - 09:59 AM

Procrastination and Prevarication are my middle names!

Andrea


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Jan 11 - 09:33 AM

Not everyone, but there are a lot of us who find ourselves washing dishes instead of doing some bigger task that really does need concentration and attention. And we don't all occupy the same point on the sliding scale of how often and and troublesome this behavior is for us. I find it to be a problem.

Sounds like some heavy weather has moved over the top of some of our folks. Stay warm and dry, all!

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Jan 11 - 09:10 AM

I do not think I have been procrastinating for the time we've been doing this; on the contrary I have been marching thru a series of major decluts and keeping the new habits well within my daily routine.

But CBT is a great approach that may help with other stuff, now that I can GET to it due to having organized my time around my goals.

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: LilyFestre
Date: 26 Jan 11 - 07:49 PM

Funny you should bring up CBT today as I had an interesting conversation about this just yesterday. Cognitive based therapy vs. Acceptance & Commitment.

Michelle


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: maire-aine
Date: 26 Jan 11 - 07:44 PM

Thanks for the interesting observations, SRS. I've come to recognize that distractions are a problem for me, too. One thing that works (to some degree) is getting everything assembled into a "prep" area ahead of time. I may not get to it right away, but at least everything is ready when I finally decide that the time is right to tackle it. That helped when I was getting ready to paint the kitchen last summer.

Maryanne


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jan 11 - 06:55 PM

Turns out the eye problem was an early case of pink eye and my doctor's office gave me an ointment for it.

Susan, that's a great idea about the highlighter on the bills. Several times I accidentally paid the wrong amount (adding the penalty because that was the most prominent number). I got credits, that wasn't a problem, but it's better to get it right the first try. Highlighter would fix that.

I want to report a little about this book Getting Things Done (mentioned above). I haven't named the author because you can look her up, but I kind of want this thread to fly under the radar, if someone "out there" Googles the author. The title alone is less likely to pull this to the top of a search; Amazon has that covered.

As I read this book I'm realizing that our almost-two years of decluttering intentions, while they do represent real progress, also illustrate classic procrastination scenarios. We all know that, and that's a feature of procrastination for most people, they're aware to some extent that this is going on. The author notes that the term itself has a negative connotation, akin to "lazy," but it isn't the same thing in any shape or fashion. We're always busy, but often the things keeping us busy aren't what we really need to do.

This book approaches procrastination from a perspective called cognitive-behavioral therapy or CBT. IT is a type of psychotherapy that has been proven effective in the treatment of a variety of disorders such as depression and anxiety.


The anxiety we feel regarding things we know we should have done is self-inflicted, though there are many times when we know we can get away with procrastination and there are few or no consequences. That doesn't mean we aren't bothered by it. We pay a late fee, turn a paper in a little late. The IRS gives you an extension if you haven't finished your taxes in time, etc. Though we can get away with it a lot, we keep reminding ourselves of our own shortcomings until these tasks are finished. (These are examples she gives.)

The first chapter asks the question "Why Do I Procrastinate?" and gives us a look at what happens.

Procrastination occurs when you start a task like paying your bills and the nfind yourself cleaning out a drawer instead. It's also those times when you find yourself spending more time getting ready to do a task, like straightening up your office before you work, than actually doing the work. It is like driving down the road toward your destination then turning off in another direction at the last moment.


"Procrastination is a roadblock on your life path. It slows your progress and sometimes takes you off course altogether."

Hitting the snooze button repeatedly, but then having your brain race as you think about all of the stuff you have to do during the day. There is a level of that "guilt and self-loathing" that goes on. "While we are procrastinating we are watching ourselves do it. We are criticizing the behavior. We are filled with guilt for putting things off.

There are a series of small quizzes (five questions each) that help you see where you do it most, a little, or at all, and when I run that quiz I see that I need to work on most, but not all, of this. This is a problem. The book is broken down into chapters based upon the sections of the quiz; I think that if I work through the shortcuts she offers to start changing my behavior that it will impact more than one category at a time. (The quizzes are General Characteristics, Avoidant Type, Disorganized Type, Self-Doubting Type, Interpersonal Type, All-or-Nothing Type, Pleasure-seeking Type).

Where does this take my decluttering? It means I need to look at my lists, and not simply stop at making the list. And I need to tackle some of the bigger things without letting the little ones distract me. It means taking strategies I've figured out for myself and learn how to make them more effective. And I think it means drawing better lines between work time and non-work time. It all tends to be work time.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Jan 11 - 06:47 PM

LF.

Pardon me: A woman strong enough to beat cancer this far is strong enough to sort some paper without reliving it all!

You choose where to put your attention, as we have so often discussed. If you put your attention on the fact that YOU ARE ALIVE to DO it, the sorting will probably go pretty easily.

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: mouldy
Date: 26 Jan 11 - 05:31 PM

My pharmacist daughter told me to use Goldeneye when I had a stye. There's also Brolene. Don't know what they'd call 'em over the pond. However she did also say that styes often get better in time by themselves.

Sorted the bookshelves a bit more today and unpacked the photo albums, while waiting for the man to come and fit a new electricity meter. I took a few very old children's books and a couple of special editions to Barter Books in Alnwick (where you can trade in books and get credit to buy others - it's massive, in an old railway station). I have £38 credit now!

Andrea


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: LilyFestre
Date: 26 Jan 11 - 04:10 PM

Kat,

   I'm pretty sure that's why I keep putting it off, I just don't want to re-live it all. I have plans to start it later tonight. Bit by bit. It just NEEDS to be done. I can do this...I just don't want to. :p

    Today I did some chores, made a pot roast complete with LOADS of carrots (which I love), onions and potatoes. The washing machine and bathroom sink drains have finally thawed out. It's amazing how much laundry piles up in just a few days. It'll take me a day or two to catch up. My husband had he day off so really we've been hanging out mostly and playing with the baby.

    I made Manwich (with lean beef, as much fat was drained and rinsed off as possible) and cauliflower. It went together really well, the vinegar of the Manwich with the bland cauliflower (ok..some garlic).

Michelle


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Jan 11 - 02:31 PM

LF,

This is an expansion on the KISS/Easy Does It philosphy.

At the Red Cross we sorted all bills by date due, because there was often a $$ incentive to pay by a certain date. Since medical goes into your credit reports, it's a good idea to keep dates foremost. (And sometimes a loan to pay a biggie off at once is actually cheaper than the vendor's revolving finance charge, if you have to let an item sit unpaid for a long time.)

Office supply folks have sorter-thingies (accordian files) tabbed by dates or A-Z; I have an old one I have re-tabbed many times for different uses at different times. (Now I use removable tabs I get at the office supply place.)

When I was a file clerk for Shell Oil customer billing-- back when paper was actually used and KEPT, for every credit card use at a gas station, oy!-- we similarly depended on accordian sorters to make fast sense of a large pile of paper.

After the first sort-- which really, truly only takes a few minutes-- you would sub-sort the items that you have put in each pocket. ("Pay now," "Pay Soon," "File," "Toss" because already paid-- or whatever categories you choose for your first, meta-sort.)


I use a highlighter when I open the financial mail to make it easy to spot the account info or due date I will need to spot, later, because every damn invoice has their info in a different place.


Anyway-- to keep a large and unpleasant job manageable, what you do is sort first in a meta-category sort, and then break it down, pile by pile whenever you can stand to do it, into smaller sub-categories.

So you should only need to spread it all out LATER after you deal with it-- for now you just would sort it off its current pile into some sort of sorting thingie. Ninety percent of it you will throw away all too soon-- burn it to prevent ID theft!-- so making file folders NOW is a waste of time and paper.


I have helped friends (and they have helped me) when one of us has had this kind of pile to deal with-- just a second person QUIETLY sitting by in case baby, door, or dog need fast attention.... or a second pair of hands to bring piles or scribble notes... a QUIET person who is not in need of attention that day-- and can just barter it-- is best. The kind who can sit comfortably in the midst of a mess and not try to make it look neat at the expense of YOUR needs.

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: GUEST,Bizibod
Date: 26 Jan 11 - 07:44 AM

Try rubbing stye gently but frequently with gold ring. It's an old wives remedy, don't know why it should work but it has for me over the years.
Here in UK there is a cream "Golden Eye Ointment "- see the gold connection- never had to use it, but it's formulated for styes.
Hope yours is shortlived.


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 11:42 PM

I think I arranged my bills by who sent them, and then in each of those categories they were chronological. And there were tons of them, even for my 2 relatively little surgeries (vs the chemo and followup that Michelle has experienced.) Then I could pick up the folder for that provider when I made my calls. And of course the insurance company swamped me with paper along with all of the bills, so they had their own folder.

How about starting with asigning a folder for each entity, then sort the stack by who goes in what folder, simply based upon the type of paper, print type, etc. Don't read it, just put like forms together. You get to where you recognize who sent what by the stationary and form design (if this stuff is separated from the envelopes). Big sort now, file each of them in order later. Then add to the folders when new stuff arrives, don't let it build up. I remember now - I created an excel spreadsheet. Once the papers are in order, you could put them in a spread sheet, then refer to that when needed.

Do only as much as you can comfortably handle, then set it aside for a while. But don't forget to come back, you have to keep these folks on task sometimes.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 06:44 PM

There might be a medical records way that is preferred as to how to do this..chronologically? By specialty? By insurerer? I don't know but it might be worth asking people to research this for you..and even hiring someone with a medical records background to get it in preferred order. And for someone looking for a part-time supplemental income...there sure is a need for this sort of assistance, as well as seeing things are paid, etc. mg


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 04:17 PM

That paperwork does present a challenge - it's very personal, so whoever sorts it needs to try to go by the dates, subject, however you want it organized, without reading all of the details, or on an emotional front, being swamped by it. At the same time, it needs to be done because if there is one thing that most of us know, insurance companies yank you around. You need your documentation in order for when they mess up on paying a bill.

After my cancer surgery (which happened quickly and involved a lot of different doctors, anesthesia, etc.) the stupid hospital turned me over to a collection agency for a bill I didn't know that the insurance company hadn't paid and I never received. It finally took a conference call between the three of us for the insurance company and hospital to get down off of their respective high horses and settle the matter. I didn't owe the money and was annoyed at what could have been a black mark on my credit.

Today I'm annoyed by what seems to be a stye in my left eye. Hard to keep from poking at it (even with a hanky if my eye tears). I need a nap.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 03:41 PM

Plus you might have papers all spread out and baby thinks they are lunch, toys etc...mg


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: katlaughing
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 03:09 PM

Michelle, I'd have someone else do the binder. It would be too soon and bring up PTSD symptoms which I didn't even realise I had until last year's depression and start of therapy. NOT saying that is where you are at, but just a caution.

kat


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 01:15 PM

Up to 11F so far today. Every degree it goes up outside means another degree in the kitchen - up to 60 now! Upstairs is a bit warmer but nothing is up there yet - except the tree which did not freeze. The only heat up there WAS from down here - why it is cold down here; it all was going up!. Tree seems quite happy.

Rob is working on the hole in the kitchen ceiling so the whole room is in a mess - bits of styrofoam and dry wall. He brought down a bucket of water -NO water down here today - and I can wash a few things. I have a couple gallons of distilled water for tea and cooking. Breakfast the the remains of last night's supper. I cleaned up the major debris from the ceiling and am staying out of the way.

Took books to library. Maybe I will just finish the current one and keep warm today. And start another pot of soup. Yesterday's is almost gone. Oops, and go to the store for more veggies. Will do. Also research instruction booklet for air cleaners. Poor things are working hard with all this dust. They might need new filters. Also need to order more green tea from Frontier and tinctures from Eclectic. Here I go...


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 10:47 AM

I have two christmas cacti and one of them put on a few buds but nothing actually opened. I asked a co-worker, whose cacti usually bloom beautifully, and she said she figured out that when they start to send out those buds, give them a lot more water. So when the kitchen cactus started putting out buds last week, I started giving it more water.

I'm afraid a christmas cactus blooming in February may mean we have six months more of winter. . .

I called the new company, the order did go through. Their application process fizzled but saved my info. All things being equal, these folks are only .01 cent cheaper than the power rate I could negotiate with my current company, negligible as far as my bill is concerned. I'm switching because the new company has a clearer bill with a graph of what you spent in the 12 previous months. Obviously they won't have the other company's info to do that right away, but over a year, and if their prices stay competitive, this might be the company I'll keep longer.

The Stupor Bowl is going to be here in a couple of weeks, so everything we're doing at work seems to be referenced around that--they'll be making use of our parking on campus for some of the staging during the day. My ex works in downtown Fort Worth and is trying to figure a strategy to get to work without mortgaging his house to pay for the parking. (He insists he doesn't want to ride the bus, but that sounds like a fine idea to me!) I have to be in town several times next week, one of those times puts me near ground zero, where they're closing streets and setting up pavilions and such. I've put a call in to my hairdresser to ask if there is a preferred route to reach her. Private helicopter, perhaps. :-/

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: mouldy
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 07:44 AM

I noticed some little daisies trying to flower in the roadside verge this morning, and some buds starting to swell a wee bit....holding breath now, hoping the weather keeps like it is at the moment: about 6-8C.

Andrea


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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome 2011: Declutter & Accountability
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 02:29 AM

This post names and describes the book I'm reading now.

Tried to switch electric companies this evening, but I think it didn't go through. I'll call tomorrow to ask before I try again. No point in signing up twice. The new company will be about 20% less than the last one. And the last one's prices went down, but they have a higher cancellation fee, so I'm switching just on the principle of the thing.

SRS


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