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BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately

olddude 31 Jul 09 - 11:22 AM
Amos 31 Jul 09 - 11:27 AM
SINSULL 31 Jul 09 - 11:29 AM
Dorothy Parshall 31 Jul 09 - 12:43 PM
gnu 31 Jul 09 - 01:28 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 09 - 02:27 PM
gnu 31 Jul 09 - 02:31 PM
gnu 31 Jul 09 - 02:31 PM
olddude 31 Jul 09 - 03:11 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 09 - 03:26 PM
Gurney 31 Jul 09 - 06:53 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 09 - 07:14 PM
katlaughing 31 Jul 09 - 07:17 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 09 - 07:22 PM
gnu 31 Jul 09 - 07:30 PM
Bobert 31 Jul 09 - 07:39 PM
gnu 31 Jul 09 - 07:45 PM
Amos 31 Jul 09 - 07:51 PM
Bobert 31 Jul 09 - 08:58 PM
gnu 31 Jul 09 - 09:27 PM
olddude 31 Jul 09 - 09:40 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 09 - 10:31 PM
olddude 31 Jul 09 - 11:25 PM
olddude 31 Jul 09 - 11:28 PM
Gurney 01 Aug 09 - 01:26 AM
VirginiaTam 01 Aug 09 - 06:39 AM
Rapparee 01 Aug 09 - 11:02 AM
VirginiaTam 01 Aug 09 - 11:33 AM
Little Hawk 01 Aug 09 - 12:58 PM
Charley Noble 01 Aug 09 - 02:03 PM
GUEST,leeneia 01 Aug 09 - 03:08 PM
jacqui.c 01 Aug 09 - 03:34 PM
Amos 01 Aug 09 - 04:38 PM
Little Hawk 01 Aug 09 - 05:00 PM
open mike 01 Aug 09 - 06:15 PM
Amos 01 Aug 09 - 06:40 PM
Little Hawk 01 Aug 09 - 06:45 PM
gnu 01 Aug 09 - 06:54 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 09 - 06:56 PM
Amos 01 Aug 09 - 07:08 PM
gnu 01 Aug 09 - 07:16 PM
gnu 01 Aug 09 - 07:23 PM
gnu 01 Aug 09 - 07:29 PM
Bobert 01 Aug 09 - 07:44 PM
gnu 01 Aug 09 - 08:40 PM
olddude 01 Aug 09 - 08:57 PM
Charley Noble 01 Aug 09 - 09:33 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 09 - 09:44 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 09 - 11:35 PM
VirginiaTam 02 Aug 09 - 07:22 AM
olddude 02 Aug 09 - 08:40 AM
gnu 02 Aug 09 - 09:51 AM
Charley Noble 02 Aug 09 - 10:23 AM
olddude 02 Aug 09 - 10:51 AM
Little Hawk 02 Aug 09 - 11:44 AM
Rapparee 02 Aug 09 - 12:03 PM
Little Hawk 02 Aug 09 - 12:42 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 09 - 12:55 PM
olddude 02 Aug 09 - 12:56 PM
GUEST,guest_olddude 02 Aug 09 - 02:51 PM
gnu 02 Aug 09 - 03:00 PM
Bill D 02 Aug 09 - 03:03 PM
gnu 02 Aug 09 - 03:13 PM
Charley Noble 02 Aug 09 - 03:20 PM
Bill D 02 Aug 09 - 03:25 PM
gnu 02 Aug 09 - 03:31 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 09 - 04:34 PM
gnu 02 Aug 09 - 04:55 PM
Bill D 02 Aug 09 - 08:07 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 09 - 09:21 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 03 Aug 09 - 12:57 AM
Gurney 03 Aug 09 - 01:48 AM
VirginiaTam 03 Aug 09 - 02:53 AM
Gurney 03 Aug 09 - 04:30 AM
olddude 03 Aug 09 - 08:41 AM
olddude 03 Aug 09 - 08:54 AM
olddude 03 Aug 09 - 09:57 AM
Rapparee 03 Aug 09 - 10:16 AM
gnu 03 Aug 09 - 10:18 AM
frogprince 03 Aug 09 - 10:27 AM
Rapparee 03 Aug 09 - 10:32 AM
olddude 03 Aug 09 - 10:32 AM
Little Hawk 03 Aug 09 - 12:31 PM
Amos 03 Aug 09 - 12:44 PM
gnu 03 Aug 09 - 01:00 PM
Rapparee 03 Aug 09 - 01:32 PM
gnu 03 Aug 09 - 02:43 PM
GUEST,Russ 03 Aug 09 - 09:30 PM
Amos 03 Aug 09 - 09:49 PM
Rapparee 03 Aug 09 - 10:38 PM
Gurney 04 Aug 09 - 01:30 AM
GUEST,Russ 04 Aug 09 - 06:20 AM
Little Hawk 04 Aug 09 - 01:18 PM
Amos 04 Aug 09 - 02:00 PM
gnu 04 Aug 09 - 02:13 PM
Little Hawk 04 Aug 09 - 02:20 PM
Amos 04 Aug 09 - 02:22 PM
Little Hawk 04 Aug 09 - 02:28 PM
GUEST,Russ 04 Aug 09 - 05:47 PM
gnu 04 Aug 09 - 05:49 PM
gnu 04 Aug 09 - 05:55 PM
Little Hawk 04 Aug 09 - 06:02 PM
Gurney 04 Aug 09 - 10:06 PM
Rapparee 04 Aug 09 - 10:18 PM
Little Hawk 05 Aug 09 - 01:56 AM
Charley Noble 05 Aug 09 - 09:19 AM
Rapparee 05 Aug 09 - 10:02 AM
Amos 05 Aug 09 - 11:19 AM
Little Hawk 05 Aug 09 - 11:22 AM
Rapparee 05 Aug 09 - 02:06 PM
catspaw49 06 Aug 09 - 12:20 AM
catspaw49 06 Aug 09 - 12:55 AM
Gurney 06 Aug 09 - 01:16 AM
VirginiaTam 06 Aug 09 - 03:03 AM
GUEST,Russ 06 Aug 09 - 06:06 AM
Charley Noble 06 Aug 09 - 08:06 AM
Little Hawk 06 Aug 09 - 08:55 AM
Rapparee 06 Aug 09 - 11:17 AM
Amos 06 Aug 09 - 11:28 AM
Rapparee 06 Aug 09 - 11:42 AM
gnu 06 Aug 09 - 12:20 PM
jeffp 06 Aug 09 - 02:45 PM
katlaughing 06 Aug 09 - 03:07 PM
gnu 06 Aug 09 - 04:42 PM
Bobert 06 Aug 09 - 07:45 PM
catspaw49 06 Aug 09 - 08:30 PM
Bobert 06 Aug 09 - 08:45 PM
Little Hawk 06 Aug 09 - 10:05 PM
catspaw49 06 Aug 09 - 11:14 PM
Rapparee 06 Aug 09 - 11:31 PM
catspaw49 07 Aug 09 - 12:26 AM
Bobert 07 Aug 09 - 07:25 AM
GUEST,Russ 07 Aug 09 - 07:56 AM
Amos 07 Aug 09 - 10:18 AM
GUEST,Russ 07 Aug 09 - 10:29 AM
Amos 07 Aug 09 - 10:45 AM
gnu 07 Aug 09 - 10:57 AM
Rapparee 07 Aug 09 - 10:59 AM
Little Hawk 07 Aug 09 - 12:08 PM
Rapparee 07 Aug 09 - 04:39 PM
gnu 07 Aug 09 - 07:46 PM
catspaw49 12 Aug 09 - 04:48 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 09 - 04:59 PM
Amos 12 Aug 09 - 05:07 PM
gnu 12 Aug 09 - 05:34 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 09 - 05:54 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 09 - 06:45 PM
catspaw49 12 Aug 09 - 07:06 PM
catspaw49 12 Aug 09 - 07:08 PM
Amos 12 Aug 09 - 07:53 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 09 - 09:02 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 09 - 10:00 PM
Amos 12 Aug 09 - 10:48 PM
gnu 13 Aug 09 - 05:58 AM
GUEST,Mr Red 13 Aug 09 - 06:26 AM
gnu 13 Aug 09 - 07:44 AM
Rapparee 13 Aug 09 - 09:04 AM
Little Hawk 13 Aug 09 - 01:29 PM
olddude 13 Aug 09 - 01:37 PM
gnu 13 Aug 09 - 02:38 PM
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Amos 14 Aug 09 - 02:46 AM
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Subject: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: olddude
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 11:22 AM

Spaw ain't been cussin as nobody lately ... It is the end of mudcat as we know it ... LOL


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 11:27 AM

He's been cussing a blue streak, but it's hard to hear as he has pulled his nutsack over his head. There other symptoms, however.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: SINSULL
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 11:29 AM

Check out the Jell-O threads. Some oldies but goodies.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 12:43 PM

Spaw does have some good points...well, ummm. Let me look under this rock...


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 01:28 PM

Spaw hasn't been getting his rocks off?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 02:27 PM

I was afraid this would happen. He has grossly overused his cussing organ in the last few years...and it has now ceased to function at all. He is experiencing cussitous interruptus. There is no known cure for this dire ailment, other than a really HARD kick in the balls from a good friend. The kick must be delivered from BEHIND and by stealth or it will not have the desired effect. The kickee MUST not see it coming, but must be taken totally by surprise, preferably while engaged in some common activity like weeding the lawn or tieing his shoelaces...

Who will give Spaw help when it is sorely needed?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 02:31 PM

WHOA... WHOA... form a line... women first... those with pointy-toed shows to the front...


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 02:31 PM

The w is next to the e.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: olddude
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 03:11 PM

I am sure when my old friend sees this thread his cuss organ will start working again on me ... LOL ... Little Hawk, that was priceless can't stop laughing ... line up ladies here is your chance to save mudcat


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 03:26 PM

Steel-toed shoes to the front!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Gurney
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 06:53 PM

This is a Spaw-baiting thread, and will likely receive the attention it deserves from him.
I think you lot only do it because you need a transfusion/inoculation of cussing at regular intervals, and Dr. Spaw has the best stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:14 PM

We just have to remind him periodically how much we love him, that's all. ;-) He'll show up eventually and make some derogatory remark about Winona Ryder and wiener dogs or something along that line.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: katlaughing
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:17 PM

Max should get first kick as Spaw is always adjusting his front appendages with a swift boot.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:22 PM

We could charge for it and support the Mudcat.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:30 PM

Nah, Rap... that would detract from the sheer fun out kicking him in the nuts. After all, it's just fun, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Bobert
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:39 PM

Like livin' on the edge, Oldster, heh???

Not to worry...

My boy ain't got no interuptis of any kind... Heck, he could die and two weeks later out-cuss the entire United Sates Navy in his sleep!!!

Better quit pokin' at Spawzer... If he ain't a'cussin' that means yer in the clam before the storm and you can take that to the bank...

Interuptis my butt!!!

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:45 PM

Don't bend over.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:51 PM

The clam before the storm? That's the safest place to be!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Bobert
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 08:58 PM

That's right... Jus' close up yer shell an' ride the sumabich out... Might of fact, I reckon that's a purdy good idea seein' as Oldster done got a case of, ahhhh, whatever it is an' is pokin' at the Spawzer... Spawzer don't take to no pokin' so I reckon he's either workin' on the mother-of-all-cussins 'er he's stuck in the bathroom with some blockage... No matter, when he get the blockage ouuta the way, this ol' hillbilly is gonna be long gone...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 09:27 PM

I'm tellin ya... baked beans with molasses aned brown bread and sardines. Problem so... talk at yas on the morrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: olddude
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 09:40 PM

You be right bobster, I gets me kelvar ear plugs on and me hard hat. I thinks I may have unleased the sleeping lion on this one ...

gotta find a place to hide


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 10:31 PM

I dunno...I heard some of the Legion boys who seem to have met Spaw saying that he couldn't cuss his way out of a...naw, can't say that...and that anybody'd who'd need a kick in the nuts to start cussin' ain't worth the energy for the kick.

Now, that's not MY opinion so don't start comin' down on me. Y'all come down on Booger Red and Cold Hand Puke, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: olddude
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 11:25 PM

Rapaire
now you did it ... we are both going to get our arse kicked ...
I am going to move to the Rockies where he can't find me ... you he will find you LOL


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: olddude
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 11:28 PM

Gnu
I hope it all comes out in the end for ya ... LOL
good luck ... see you in the AM unless Spaw finds me then someone call the cops ok


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Gurney
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 01:26 AM

The cops are OK.

Will that do, OD?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 06:39 AM

I would never willfully kick, but if anyone is interested there are special hammer boots used in Highland games. Note the bayonet on the toe.

Just trying to be helpful.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 11:02 AM

Ol' Spaw's done found RE-ligion! Done dedicated his life to The Man!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 11:33 AM

Maybe Spaw found a different kind of anagesic

swearing relieves pain

or maybe he ain't in pain no more so doesn't need to swear?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 12:58 PM

Animals swear when they're under stress too, and you can definitely tell that they're swearing, although the exact words they're using are not clear. Observe an angry squirrel in action, for instance, and just imagine what he might be saying.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Charley Noble
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 02:03 PM

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

#**#!

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 03:08 PM

Spaw is a professor of medieval poetry in real life.
Bobert is an astrophysicist.
Sir jOhn from HuLL is a retired cultural attache.
Leeneia is a former Miss Wisconsin.
Amos in a captain the Mounties.

If you read the Mudcat long enough, you will catch these and others shifting in and out of various personas. Spaw, for example, has entered a rational period.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: jacqui.c
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 03:34 PM

Spaw, for example, has entered a rational period.

Now THAT really is taking fantasy too far!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 04:38 PM

A captain in the Mounties?

Well, I have been a captain, and I have delighted in some mounting, here and there, so I guess I can see the logic. But really...I am not even high enough up the ladder of life incarnations to be Canadian!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 05:00 PM

That's fer sure, eh? ;-)

For a view of just how far up the ladder one can incarnate as a Canadian, rent the movie "Trailer Park Boys" and watch it...or rent the whole first season of the TV show (same name) that inspired the movie.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: open mike
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 06:15 PM

hey, old dude you can hide in the jello threads
no one would even think to look for you there!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 06:40 PM

LH, I can't imagine why you think I would spend hard earned dough on such trifles, really!! I have plenty of my own internal soap operas to watch day and night!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 06:45 PM

Anyone who would refuse to spend a paltry amount of his money on watching "Trailer Park Boys" is beyond any help I can give, Amos. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 06:54 PM

Youse just wait til Spaw gets back from campin. Yer in fer it!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 06:56 PM

Amos has indeed been a Captain, but I doubt that even he has had the will, the guts, the raw courage, needed to sail to...Manitoba.

Few have had, and fewer have survived to tell the tale. (Those that have survived to tell the tale do so, over and over and over and....)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 07:08 PM

Weell, I had no call to, but there ain't that much to it, Rapaire. Just go down the Hudson Bay and bear west, and you run plumb into the coast of Manitoba. If you was nautical youlda known that.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 07:16 PM

Manitoba? Why?

Unless you are studying skeeters or frosbite?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 07:23 PM

Of course, one should mention that Manitoba has produced more than it's share of amazing musicians and winners of The VC in dazzling manner, just off the cuff.

Other than that... skeeters and frostbite come to mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 07:29 PM

Valour Road

Sorry for the thread drift.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 07:44 PM

Danged!!!

Where that George Carlin feller to fill in fir Spaw??? No, George wasn't in Spawzer's league but he could cuss okay...

Campin'???

Sheet fire... A few days of sleepin on the ground with rocks unner yer sleepin' bag and crawly things gettin' in there with ya' and I reckon that the poor ol' Spawzer gonna have a few things to saw when he has a few things to say...

Until then, fu*k it fir now...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 08:40 PM

Well, maybe Spaw ain't been cussin lately in this here Café, but, I know, wherever he is, it's fuck, fight and hold the light. This I hold as true and solace.

Spaw... whever you are, camping in the fucking rain or the fucking heat or off on some fucking adventure or off doing some fucking boring bullshit... have a great fucking time.

(Megan... skelp X 6)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: olddude
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 08:57 PM

Well my all time favorite cussing from the spawster was when I sent everyone out my CD .. well on Spaw's I didn't put enough postage on it so he got it and had to pay a buck for it .. I still laugh at the message he sent me about how much he like it even though I was a Cheap @#@$%$@ with a whole string of verbal descriptions on my mother and father and dog and great uncle ... laughed for a week

However I think it is going to be tame compared to what is going to happen when he gets back ... I think it was all bobsters fault and gnu .. yah that's my story and i am sticking to it yah ..


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Charley Noble
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 09:33 PM

Maybe a squid or two would perk up this thread while Spaw is away.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 09:44 PM

Squids and rocketry (or explosives) will perk up most anything.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 11:35 PM

You...you don't suppose...Spaw's well has run dry, do you?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 07:22 AM

I have plenty of my own internal soap operas to watch day and night!

Plenty enough soap (soporific) operas happening right here in Mudcat to dispense with the energy required to make up my own.

Can't wait to see the stream of expletives that Spaw will deposit here. I am gonna take notes.

Think they will be very useful when the arthritis is particularly bad.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: olddude
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 08:40 AM

Rapaire
he is hiding out someplace ... just taking note I figure, then he is going to erupt ... I figure I will blame it all on Gary and Bob ..
tee hee ... yup thats me story


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 09:51 AM

Spaw knows I would never malign him unless it was on purpose, Dan.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Charley Noble
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 10:23 AM

No doubt the response will be something like "Leaping lizards" or "Mercy Maud."

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: olddude
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 10:51 AM

More like Golly Gee Wizz


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 11:44 AM

Heavens to Betsy!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 12:03 PM

You don't suppose he'd go whole hog and say something like "You gosh-darned low-down poopy-poos!" do you? (My apologizes to all whom I may have offended.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 12:42 PM

I should probably mention that there was an unfortunate incident here in Barrie, Ontario last week. A Weimaraner got run over by one of those road-grading machines with the big round rollers. It seems that the dog had decided to sunbathe on some freshly laid blacktop and it refused to yield right of way to the road grader. The driver figured the dog was only bluffing, so he put the machine in gear and drove forward. The dog figured the driver was only bluffing, so it stayed put. Alas, neither one of them was bluffing! The Weimaraner got pressed to an average thickness of about a tenth of an inch all over and is being displayed now at the civic arena in order to caution young people about the dangers of playing in traffic. They've got the pelt spread out on a large piece of wallboard. It looks like a gigantic pancake. No one has come forward to claim the dog's remains. The city plans to freeze dry them and turn them into a permanent traffic safety display at city hall.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 12:55 PM

So you have a giant frisbee....


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: olddude
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 12:56 PM

rapaire
i am shocked at the language   oh my ears lol


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: GUEST,guest_olddude
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 02:51 PM

He is ingoring us I think ... we have him running scared LOL


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 03:00 PM

Nah... he's running the BBQ, the lantern, the countryside.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 03:03 PM

cussin' ain't useful if everyone expects it. It ain't what ya' do as a demo....it's gotta have a purpose and rasion d'être.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 03:13 PM

Well, Bill. in Spaw's case, the cussin is as much an art form as a rasion d'être. I try sometimes, but it just isn't my forté.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Charley Noble
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 03:20 PM

This reminds me of the day I was doing reconnaissance geology in the Moose Head Lake region of Maine and got caught in a tremendous down poor. I exclaimed "By the qu******* c*** of the u******* m***** of J****!" I bet the woods are still ringing.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 03:25 PM

'spaw's 'art' doesn't deal in mere forté.... (exerpt from long poem)


...."His basso, with timbre so rare
He rendered with power to spare.
But his great work of art,
His fortissimo fart,
He saved for the Marche Militaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 03:31 PM

Spaw may well be one of the best I have ever read or heard. Alive, that is. I heard Ted Williams utter a string of profanity that not only hung in the air over a salmon pool, but seemed to drip profanity for a time after he finished. Dunno which Ted could do better... fly cast, swear or swing a baseball bat. A true triathelete.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 04:34 PM

I learned from an old drill sergeant -- used to be a mule skinner back when the US Army used them regularly. He got into a cussin' match with a visiting CPO off an oiler and Marine Gunnery Sergeant who'd spent ten years on the China Station.

The sky turned blue and then dead, dead black. Barracks and power lines and even a drill field were knocked down in all directions. Finally, there was an immense flash of light and the entire impact area they were cussin' in exploded. Left a crater of God alone knows how many acres. Eventually the crater filled with water and became what we now call "The Great Lakes." I barely escaped with my life.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 04:55 PM

The Great Lakes.... went to see Yogi Berra when my old man was stationed at CFB Trenton when I was about 7 years old. Caught a whack of perch at his spot on the lake. He never swore, but upon meeting him, I was so disappointed, I said, "He ain't no fuckin bear." Still hurts.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 08:07 PM

My daddy could exclaim with gusto:

"Gotdandruff 'nsomeofititches!!" ...Mom couldn't decide whether to scold him or not....


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 09:21 PM

I only cuss for grits and shins.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 12:57 AM

I'll tell ya what, eh? The flippin' goof ain't shoaed up hear cause of he is a flippin' pussy! He don't have the guts to flippin' swear like a real MAN does and if he wuz to come to Blind River we would flippin' laff the fliphead right outta town, eh? You wanta hear some flippin' BAD langwage??? Do you? Well, flippin' come dow n to the Iron Horse Tavern on Wet T-shirt night if ya got the mungoberries to! Yeah! You will hear langwedge there that can flippin' burn the paint right off yer flippin' bunkhowse walls, eh? I am talkin' like...

FLIPHEAD!
FLIPFACE!
BOLTHOLE!
PLOTZ FER BRAINS!
SON OF A FLIPPIN' SKANK!
WINKIE-TWISTER!
BAZONGA-BRAINS!
CANDY-APPLE!
MOOSE TURD!

And worst of all.............


CORKPULLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Spaw retread ain't got the guts to use words like that. Trust me. He would never survive in my town. Never. Only the strong survive in my town, eh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Gurney
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 01:48 AM

Glad to see you're out of the slammer, Shane.

Or did you earn net privileges?

Winkie-twister.   That sounds very vile!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 02:53 AM

goddammitalltohell

when's he gonna git here and cut loose?

I kin hardly stand the suspense.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Gurney
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 04:30 AM

Don't think he will, Tam. I suspect that he'll post in gentlemanly tones and hurt demeanour.

And a private wicked grin.

Isn't that what you'ld do?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: olddude
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 08:41 AM

We done scared him off we did ...


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: olddude
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 08:54 AM

My dad was a master. As a little kid he would watch his language around us but when he was working on our old car well that was another thing. You would never see my dad's face, only his feet sticking out from under the car fixing something and cussin like a sailor. I once asked my mom, what part of the car is a "dirty bastard" she was in horror. I said dad is trying to replace that part and it must be really hard to replace cause he keeps saying "get in there you dirty bastard". To this day I don't know what part that is but it is really tough to replace.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: olddude
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 09:57 AM

What would we do without our Spaw, the Don Rickles of the Mudcat. A year or so ago I posted a version of Wabash Cannon Ball that I was working on. In it I sang a line "There's a gal from Birmingham shes long and shes tall, she came down from Georgia on the wabash cannonball" Anyway Spaw heard it. He writes me and says, great picking great singing, however Birmingham is not in Georgia asshole and goes on to tell me the geography of southern cities.

I was on a conference call with a client and burst out laughing. I had to explain to them that I wasn't laughing at their proposal ... OMG

A true original in every regard. A beloved friend to all of us .. and now that I am done sucking up maybe I won't get pounded so bad when he does get to this thread ...


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 10:16 AM

Shoulda told him you meant Birmingham, Missouri...or New Jersey...or Michigan. Use Michigan and you coulda said she was one of those fallen doves who came down from Canada.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 10:18 AM

On the mourning train?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: frogprince
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 10:27 AM

gnu, the interesting thing is: as a U.S.person, I can't be sure if that was a pun or just the Canadian spelling for "morning". : )


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 10:32 AM

It's the latter. For the keening, weeping, and wailing after someone dies they spell it "morning." So do the English, the Aussies, and the rest. Except in Ireland, where they spell it "wake" (no "u" in it).


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: olddude
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 10:32 AM

Naw there was no EH in it LOL


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 12:31 PM

They go into mourning here when the last beer is done and there's nothing but empties layin' around. Funny thing is, that usually happens sometime in early hours of the morning too. Shane had a bottle of beer that was autographed by Don Cherry, and he kept it in a place of honour on the mantletop for years....until one day...late on the last day of a looooong weekend...and ALL the beer had been, like, drunk!

Panic time, eh?

The beer store was closed, and no one would help Shane out with any free ones.

Major panic time, eh?

He sat and stared at the Don Cherry autographed bottle of Labatt's Blue for what seemed like hours.

Finally he couldn't take it anymore! He cracked open the Don Cherry beer and wolfed the whole thing down, even though it didn't taste quite right...

Well, you should not drink a beer that's been standing around unrefrigerated for about five years.

Poor Shane got sick as a dog on that beer. He was out of action for the next three days and brought up everything except the soles of his work boots.

Plus he lost the famous Don Cherry autographed beer!

Major bummer, eh? It had to be one of the worst decisions Shane ever made, and he regrets it to this day. He still takes the empty bottle around and shows it to people.

"See? Don Cherry autographed this bottle of beer once. He did! Look! See?"

It's pathetic.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 12:44 PM

Yeah, you should send that laddybuck down to Spaw's place. He'd come back with a new haircut, I guaran--damn--tee ya!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 01:00 PM

Ya Tink's.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 01:32 PM

So, Shame is a cherryboy, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 02:43 PM

http://www.tinks69.com/ (Deer lures)

Cheeryboy? Damn straight! Most Canucks is Cherryboys... and damn proud of it... ya know what I'm sayin eh!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 09:30 PM

I think that it is a mistake to judge the quality of one's cussing purely on the basis of the written word.

Before I would be willing to rate Spaw's cussing I would want to hear him in action.

Cussing is not just about words. It is about rhythm and cadence and volume and passion and imagination and spontaneity.

For all I know Spaw might labor long and painfully over his contributions to the cat, polishing and rewriting before he hits the submit button.

Perhaps he has a ghost writer.

Maybe he has a cussing database and he simply copies and pastes into his replies.

Written cussing is like bad tablature. You read it and you still don't know what the tune sounds like.

If anything I think he tends to hold back given the gentility of most catters.

Russ (Permanent GUEST)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 09:49 PM

Ah, Russ, I don't think you know the man behind the cussin'. He can spontaneously dissect Kierkegaard, and I am pretty sure he can spontaneously put away any sad-assed broke-dick mammalucca who needs it without thinking twice.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 10:38 PM

Why would you want to dissect Kierkegaard? He's been dead for some time.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Gurney
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 01:30 AM

You are just keeping the thread going until 'Spaw gets back, aren't you!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 06:20 AM

Amos,

I have never interacted with anybody claiming to be Spaw outside the cat. Are we sure there's a man behind the cussin?

I wasn't aware that Kierkegaard was noted for his cussin, just his bad theology.

Russ (Permanent GUEST)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 01:18 PM

"Are we sure there's a man behind the cussin?"

Yeah, that's the question, isn't it? I think that what is behind the cussin' isn't really a man at all, but a short, bandy-legged lizard-being clad in a jumpsuit and wearing an enormous hat that covers up everything but his lower torso and legs. He is an egomaniacal, perverted little scumbag who makes a living by bamboozling the public with tales of his magic tricks and omipotent powers, but he has no real powers other than the ability to dissimulate without a flicker of guilt or responsibility. He lives to deflower virgins, corrupt the innocent, steal, cheat, fornicate, and engage in licentious gluttony of every kind. He is a cesspool of carnal thoughts and bestial behaviour, masquerading as a miracle worker and a wellspring of profundity. He is like something that grows between your toes when you don't wash for an extended period of time.

Here's what he really looks like when the screen is removed:


The real Spaw


And here he is striding along beside his latest chosen victim:

Spaw and next innocent victim


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 02:00 PM

Hooboy, Little Hawk. Your social climbing techniques are wearing a little thin at the edges. You don't get to be an icon by mere iconoclasm.   It doesn't work that way. It requires merit, scholarship, deftness, wit, humor and humility, all of which Spaw has demonstrated in volume.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 02:13 PM

AMOS! What twaddle! Surely you meant "volumeSSS".

Or was that sssimply a ssslip of a typo?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 02:20 PM

Don't be silly, Amos. ;-) There is nowhere to climb to around here, so what would be the point? We are already resting in the nether trough of reality.

Look, if one is attempting to provoke the bull to charge, as it were, one must wave the cape most vigorously. The bull may be feeling a bit lazy on hot sunny days and loath to react. Besides, the old "Cheech Wizard" gag is a long-running in-joke with Spaw and me (alongside Weimaraners, wiener dogs, Winona Ryder, Commander Tom of "Space Oddity" fame, the Crazy Horse monument, Singing Bigmouth Billy Bass, and other bizarre trivia of that sort. He loves that despicable "Hat" for some reason that I can't fathom.

Are you unfamiliar with the mystical link between Spaw and Cheech Wizard?

It also ties in with the earlier "kick in the balls" theme...(a famous Cheech Wizard episode).


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 02:22 PM

Ah, no, LH, I am aware, thank you.

A kick in the balls to you for your rampant iconoclasm.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 02:28 PM

Thank you, sir. You are too kind.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 05:47 PM

Little Hawk,

If Spaw is indeed all you say he is, I am awestruck.

Why would a being of such a superlative nature deign to frequent our little forum?

Russ (Permanent GUEST)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 05:49 PM

It's almost ERIE that Spaw has been gone so long, innit?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 05:55 PM

Oops... sorry, T.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 06:02 PM

Indeed, Russ, why would a being of such a superlative nature deign to frequent our little forum?

Personally, I find it unfathomable. It's as incomprehensible as Winona Ryder joining the Roller Derby. I just don't get it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Gurney
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 10:06 PM

LH, just as speculation, perhaps he comes here because so many other sites are populated by mouthy teenagers, and he wants to cross swords with someone who can at least understand his Bon Mots and verbose beshrewments.

Or perhaps he's just barred everywhere else?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 10:18 PM

I think it's his basic tit and humidity and stuff, like Amos said.

I've always like Cheech Wizard as well. But I am not Spaw, nor was I meant to be (to misquote Eliot, T.S.).


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Aug 09 - 01:56 AM

Cheech Wizard has a certain panache, no doubt about it, but I find his egotism sort of repulsive. He's the kind I want to see brought down and humbled. When he had that long-running battle with his helper (the lizard guy), it was the helper I identified with, not Cheech. I wanted to see Cheech get kicked in the balls so hard that he wouldn't come up for air for at least a week afterward. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Aug 09 - 09:19 AM

Leaping lizards! Where is the feller?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 09 - 10:02 AM

Perhaps Spaw's identification with Cheech Wizard is so strong because Spaw is Cheech Wizard?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 09 - 11:19 AM

Hmm..given the right hat there would be dramatic similarities!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Aug 09 - 11:22 AM

That is exactly what I have been surmising (and suggesting).


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 09 - 02:06 PM

And his friend is Chongo -- or "Chong." Cheech and Chong.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 12:20 AM

When I logged on tonight, it was with the idea of starting a new thread but finding this one made me believe that perhaps it was the right place to post what I had to say.

Over the past few months and especially within the past weeks, my life has been in a state of flux. Perhaps it has to do with turning 60 or feeling evn more mortal while witnessing the mortality of others. Whatever the cause, I have had to look at what is important and what is not; how I view myself and how I am viewed by others. Although it seems silly at this late date to feel the need for major changes, I have seen clearly that who I am is not the person I want to be orcan be expected to be as I try to move forward. To say my beliefs have been bady shaken is understatement and it is not too strong to say that in most ways, I have been reborn in mind and spirit.

To that end, I hope you will find me more pleasant as reading this thread has once again shown to me just how far I need to go to ease my own mind. In that respect I must thank all of you on this thread as your comments which may have been in jest or not, certainly rang true deep inside me and verified my own feelings toward the person I had become.

I will still occasionally frequent the 'Cat but I hope to do so in a manner more acceptable to others and to my inner self as well. Many thanks to you all for your friendship over these years which I may have treated lightly. Bless you all.

Pat


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 12:55 AM

........now just blow me and y'all can go fuck yourselves.

Geeziz.......what a bunch of jackleg motherfuckers. Y'all are totally pathetic. It shows I guess just how gawddamn bad the BS has become on the 'Cat that the favorite thing most of you are posting to is this simpleass thread! Yeah, dumbasses....it means you! What the hell kind of thread is this anyway? It seems like all of you are sitting around individually and collectively jacking each other and yourselves off while you await the arrival of a pivot man for your friggin' circle jerk! Trust me on this one...I ain't the fuckin' guy you're waiting on!

Some of you stupid cocksuckers are so damn dumb you must be twins.......I'm sure your parents must have had SOME children who lived but if you're it, then Thanksgivings are probably depressing as hell for them, not to mention birthdays or whatever they call the day your ass hatched!

Leading that group is probably Hawk who has lost whatever little is left of his mind in his conquest to create some nasty storyline about the great Cheech.....Actually it was over for Hawk long ago when his Winona fixation became so deeply ingrained he blurted out that she was so fine he'd like to suck her Daddy's dick. As for Amos, he went over the edge long ago too when living out in the land of fruits and nuts made him follow in kind and now whatever bullshit he spits out is in that whatever ta' hell ya' fuckin' call it, California Drivelspeak.

I estimate the Jagov Factor on this thread to be 97 out of a possible 100.

I could and probably should go on and address the rest of this collection of dumbfucks but what would be the point? Y'all need to get a fuckin' grip on something that ain't your genitals before your the hair on your hands gets long AND GRAY! My best suggestion would be that all of us do our damndest to get Dan's pathetic but well meaning ass back here and we move on to better threads like we used to run back in the day...............

...........and I don't think I once used either brokedick or mamalucca even when I have never seem so many gathered together in one place!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Gurney
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 01:16 AM

There you are, Virginia Tam. First I was right (3/8/09 4.30), and then you were!

Isn't that nice.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 03:03 AM

I bask in glow of Spaw's hellfire.

Thank you oh Profane Master!

I am unworthy.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 06:06 AM

Spaw,

Good to hear from you.

Russ (Permanent GUEST)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 08:06 AM

Now that the air has cleared, welcome back, Spaw!

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 08:55 AM

Brilliantly written, Spaw! I am delighted that you have finally decided to eschew the rude and offensive persona which you had slid into adopting as your mental grip on reality began to wither in the heat of action on the 'Cat. When I think of what your dear saintly gray-haired mother would have thought if she had seen some of the terribly insensitive things you've said here over the last few years! Well, it doesn't bear thinking about, does it? No! Let's just move on to something less disturbing, shall we? At any rate, now that I have read your tremendously moving post of 06 Aug 09 - 12:20 AM....and I am not ashamed to say that I shed a few tears while reading it, so moved was I by the humble penitence and self-realization that shone brightly through your words...yes, now, that I have read it I feel I can safely say that you are well on the way to a complete spiritual renewal in these, your golden years, and that the rude and offensive man we knew here has been replaced by a gentle and loving spirit whom we can depend upon to bring nothing but light and understanding into our midst.

I, for one, am deeply thankful that you have at last seen the light. Hallelujah!

****

Now, as to the post that followed at 06 Aug 09 - 12:55 AM....also apparently from you...

I have only one thing to say.

You had mentioned that you estimate the Jagov Factor on this thread to be 97 out of a possible 100.

Yeah. Not bad, eh? But what we are really aiming for here is 99 out of a possible 100. So watch for it. The worst is yet to come.

Your summation of Amos's rhetorical style, by the way, is spot on! Heh! Heh! ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 11:17 AM

You mean that that unshriven blathershite, that fan of O-Shit-U, that product of Southern Ohio inbreeding who was rejected for a part in "Deliverance" because he was "too MUCH" of what they were looking for, that cow-pie hopper, is back??

Well, will wonders never cease?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 11:28 AM

Aw, Jaysus. Somebody get this dumbass mother a big hat, wouldja? ANd maybe a couple of cattle to balance it out.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 11:42 AM

My sources in Vatican City tell me that Spaw (under some pseudonym like "Pat" or something) has actually spent the past few weeks in a monastery high in the Carpathian Mountains, praying and doing good works while obeying the vows of poverty, chastity, obedience, silence, mortification of the flesh, and day-long prayer. At the end of this time the "applicants" (as they are called) stand naked before the heavens and are either taken bodily into Heaven or left for more poverty, chastity, etc.

Spaw too stood with the "applicants" and in the first time in the 1,700 year history of in institution an "applicant" was drilled right into the stone as a Voice From Above said, "Oh, yuck! Why you sendin' me shit like THAT?"


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 12:20 PM

Welcome back, Spaw. Hope you had a good away with the family.

The rabble kept themselves amused as best they could under the circumstances. I even attempted, feebly, to join in the good natured banter when I could get a word in edgewise.

I hope we get to see some pics. I expect, even if you had an antiquated camera with you, you could have developed the film in Lake Eerie (I assume you vacationed on the sunny, sandy shores of Lake Eerie) so those pics shouldn't be long in showing up... unless the film melted.

Anyway, I am glad you are back.

Oh... yeah... fuck you too.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: jeffp
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 02:45 PM

Sheer fuckin poetry! I take my hat off.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 03:07 PM

Somebody help me clean up the litter?!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 04:42 PM

Catshit?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 07:45 PM

You write that by yerseff, Spawzer???


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 08:30 PM

No, I had it specially done by a team of trained Dachshunds on break from a local asylum where they act as bunghole scrubbers for total, flaming, assholes like yourself.........geeziz.........Yeah... I wrote it.....so what's it to you Moby Dick?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 08:45 PM

Well, ahhhh, not to be overly critical but you had a few danglin' participles I thought you'd like to know about in case you planned on being a writer when you grow up... But, nevermind 'em... They weren't really all that obvious... Really, Spawzer... I've seen worse...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 10:05 PM

So have I. But I've been to Blind River.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 11:14 PM

I like my participles Bobertz and at least you can see mine without the aid of hundred power binoculars.........Yours sorta' resemble a broken-off pear stem flanked by two dessicated pinto beans.............

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 11:31 PM

How do you desecrate a pinto bean?

And what do you plan to do about that girl? You knew she was 16, no matter what she OR her mother said. For that matter, what are you going to do about her mother?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Aug 09 - 12:26 AM

I'm sending the mother, the daughter, and the pinto beans all to Idaho 'cause gawd knows the skinheads in that state can desecrate anygawdamnedthing!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Bobert
Date: 07 Aug 09 - 07:25 AM

Unless you have pictorial evidence to the contrary, Spawzer, then I am going on record of saying that my participles should more accurately be compared to the entire bean field...

That's my story fir now...

"I'm young and able
to buzz all night long
If ya' hear me buzzin' baby
There's some stingin' goin' on"

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 07 Aug 09 - 07:56 AM

Call me Mr. Old Fashioned and Hung Up but I am disturbed by the information being disclosed in this thread. Some people seem to know way too much about the intimate details of the anatomies of others are are too willing to share that information.

You know who you are.

Russ (Permanent GUEST and part time prude)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 09 - 10:18 AM

If ya wanna be precious, Mister Russ, you done gotta steer well clear of Spaw and all his ilk.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 07 Aug 09 - 10:29 AM

Amos,

In a thread like this why take my contributions seriously?

Russ (Permanent GUEST)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 09 - 10:45 AM

LOL!!! Or mine?   No reason!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 07 Aug 09 - 10:57 AM

They have ilk in Ohio? I thought they were mostly out west.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 09 - 10:59 AM

Spaw raises ilk? Some sort of shoot-'em-while-they're-penned-up thing for Ohio wannabees?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 09 - 12:08 PM

We used to have a fair bit of ilk in Ontario, but they've been declining of recent years...in step with the local economy. The best place to find Canadian ilk now is in Alberta or B.C.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 09 - 04:39 PM

Spaw, I've discovered, raises ilk only for the milk. He finds it smooth, cool, and refreshing. He was going to market it as "Silk Ilk Filk Milk" but was talked out of it by the barrel of shotgun in the hands of a lover of the English language.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 07 Aug 09 - 07:46 PM

Don't milk it dry now.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 04:48 PM

Just thought I'd come back here to say I'm happy the olddude has returned.   We seem to owe Bruce for a part of it and getting Dan back in better spirits.

Ya' know folks........Even if you're not angered or whatever, it really is important to take a break from this place once in awhile. Almost every longterm regular I know has taken some time off here now and again and come back better for it. On the other hand, Dan will probably be pretty much the same asshole we all know and love!


And Bruce......Thanks and go fuck yourself. You're the only one who will...........very sad.........

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 04:59 PM

That's not true, Spaw! There was this simply butt-UGLY and vulgar, foul-mouthed, and totally depraved woman in Moosejaw, a complete tramp and ne'er-do-well who absolutely no man in his right mind would even consider getting involved with, but then Bruce met her one night at a drunken local battle of the bands session and she lured him backstage behind the equipment storage lockers on the pretext of needing his help with handling her "gear", and...

Oh, wait! I wasn't supposed to talk about that, was I?

Sorry.

Just forget I even spoke about it, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 05:07 PM

You promised Chinga you weren't gonna discuss that little adventure, Little Hawk!!! Jeeze. Now I'ma gonna hafta lean on youse....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 05:34 PM

Sounds like yer a tad jealous of Peace's ability to charm the fluff.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 05:54 PM

Spaw's jealous of almost everyone when it comes to that... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 06:45 PM

Well, prit near anybody can do it better, can't they?


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 07:06 PM

Better? I suppose some can but none of you needledicks.......The last time Hawk had sex at all was a different millenium and its well known that Peace was going crazy with one girl and she said, "Good moves Bruce, but when are you putting it in?" And since Rap moved to Idaho he's had his way with many spuds.....and little else. Gnu..........well, I dunno' how to say it............word is he can't get it up with a crane........

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 07:08 PM

Sorry I forgot to mention Amos but so do all his partners.........

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 07:53 PM

That's because they don't want their husbands to find out, you broke-dick half-limp ass wipe. But that's just between us friends, of course.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 09:02 PM

Aha!!! So Chongo's assertions about your many marital infidelities are right after all! You dirty dog.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 10:00 PM

Well, Amos DOES live in SoCal...unlike Spaw, who lives in Sohio. Or Sowhio. Or someplace like Belmont County or something.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 10:48 PM

A gentleman, unlike a degraded chimpanzee, sayeth not.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 05:58 AM

LH, I wasn't talkin about Spaw.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: GUEST,Mr Red
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 06:26 AM

May I say that in general I enjoy Spaw's invective.
But a whole thread? Methinks there is a bit of trolling hereabouts.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 07:44 AM

I just noticed that.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 09:04 AM

"Who is walking across my bridge?"
"It's only me, the Big Billy Goat Gruff."
"YUMMMM!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 01:29 PM

gnu - Yeah, I know you weren't, but I decided to just pretend you were... (grin)


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: olddude
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 01:37 PM

Notice how I got all of you guys in trouble and I skated off scot free
He-he ... I shoulda been a lawyer ... he-he


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 02:38 PM

LH... yeah... I know. But, I had to be sure EVERYONE else did.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 02:51 PM

It's like the Russian doll thing, eh? ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 03:30 PM

I dated Russian dolls in Gander, NF. They were flight crew on Aeroflot. They used to stay at Sinbad's and had regular rooms whereas I had a villa.

Well, it was a kitchenette and I am a good cook. And, I used to be a dashing young athlete some 25 years ago. So they were wined and dined and mined. Sigh... long ago and far away. But, we'll always have Gander.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 11:25 PM

And the goose, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Ain't been cussing lately
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 02:46 AM

Rapaire is just being saucy, of course.

His was cooked long since.

A


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