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WORST single lines

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Bret Maiers 12 May 99 - 11:57 AM
Allan C. 12 May 99 - 11:56 AM
Bert 12 May 99 - 11:55 AM
Bret Maiers 12 May 99 - 11:46 AM
Peter T. 12 May 99 - 11:36 AM
Roger the zimmer 12 May 99 - 10:30 AM
12 May 99 - 10:30 AM
Bert 12 May 99 - 10:22 AM
tomtom 12 May 99 - 10:13 AM
Sean MacRuaraidh (inactive) 12 May 99 - 09:01 AM
WyoWoman 11 May 99 - 11:27 PM
Sean MacRuaraidh (inactive) 11 May 99 - 01:19 PM
Allan C. 11 May 99 - 01:18 PM
Peter T. 11 May 99 - 11:52 AM
Rick Fielding 11 May 99 - 10:57 AM
Peter T. 11 May 99 - 10:45 AM
WyoWoman 11 May 99 - 10:25 AM
Peter T. 11 May 99 - 10:01 AM
Shack 11 May 99 - 09:51 AM
bseed(charleskratz) 11 May 99 - 02:54 AM
WyoWoman 11 May 99 - 01:25 AM
KYST (inactive) 11 May 99 - 12:26 AM
Rodney Rawlings 10 May 99 - 09:11 PM
Jerry Friedman 10 May 99 - 08:31 PM
Joe Offer 10 May 99 - 08:02 PM
LEJ 10 May 99 - 05:42 PM
The Shambles 10 May 99 - 05:38 PM
dwditty 10 May 99 - 10:34 AM
WyoWoman 10 May 99 - 10:19 AM
Peter T. 10 May 99 - 09:51 AM
The Shambles 09 May 99 - 07:01 AM
The Shambles 08 May 99 - 08:27 PM
Rick Fielding 08 May 99 - 02:14 PM
Wotcha 08 May 99 - 11:58 AM
Rick Fielding 07 May 99 - 10:53 PM
Big Mick 07 May 99 - 10:46 PM
Rick Fielding 07 May 99 - 10:39 PM
Alice 07 May 99 - 10:08 PM
Alice 07 May 99 - 09:56 PM
Lonesome EJ 07 May 99 - 09:42 PM
Alice 07 May 99 - 09:10 PM
Matthew B. 07 May 99 - 09:00 PM
Lonesome EJ 07 May 99 - 08:42 PM
Peter T. 07 May 99 - 03:41 PM
emily rain 07 May 99 - 02:55 PM
Rick Fielding 07 May 99 - 10:37 AM
Sean MacRuaraidh (inactive) 07 May 99 - 07:20 AM
Matthew B. 07 May 99 - 06:55 AM
leprechaun 07 May 99 - 04:17 AM
bseed(charleskratz) 07 May 99 - 03:27 AM
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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Bret Maiers
Date: 12 May 99 - 11:57 AM

"The old horse died, the mule went lame I lost my cow in a poker game."

By Doc Boggs "My old horse died"

Later in the song he lets loose with this little gem:

"An earthquake came to make it good Swallowed the ground where my home stood. Mortgage man came around and partially claimed the hole in the ground."


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Allan C.
Date: 12 May 99 - 11:56 AM

tomtom, I am not a great Neil Diamond fan and I believe that much of his stuff has found its rightful place among the muzak of the dentist office. But, regarding: "'I am' I said, to no one there, and no one heard at all, not even the chair." it may partially excuse it if you were to know how and where it was written. Neil, who says he was a great fan of Lenny Bruce (I think he said they were close friends but I wouldn't want to misquote him), had gone to the tryouts for a movie being made about Lenny. Well, the tryouts were over. Neil wasn't selected to play the part of Lenny. Crestfallen and disappointed, he sat in an empty hallway near the stage entry - just him and the chair - and attempted to express his feelings by writing that song.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Bert
Date: 12 May 99 - 11:55 AM

Peter,

Your point is taken, I can see how you would hate it if you don't like that sort of thing. I think that Monty Python proves that there is a clearly defined line between that which some people find funny and others find repulsive.

I don't agree with you about the food either, I just LOVE 'black pudding', but my wife won't have it in the house:-)

Personally, my worst kind of folk music is 'the interminable ballad' but it takes all sorts.

Bert.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Bret Maiers
Date: 12 May 99 - 11:46 AM


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Peter T.
Date: 12 May 99 - 11:36 AM

Well, for a start my mother is a Tynesider, and I love all things Northern (except the food and that song!). KC, Ilkley Moor is the kind of deep group fun one associates with the Arrival of the Vikings and the Peterloo Massacre.
And you are right, Bert, it is usually sung in a tone of "solemn mockery" which is exactly what I hate most about it. It encapsulates the worst side of folk music, the kind of thing that is like fingernails on a blackboard. Bring on the quarter horses!!!
Yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Roger the zimmer
Date: 12 May 99 - 10:30 AM

It would be unfair of me to single out lines which I hate but may have touched someone else tho' I would agree MacArthur Park has more than its fair share or cringe-makers. However, the non-vocal version by the Maynard Ferguson Big Band is a cracker!


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From:
Date: 12 May 99 - 10:30 AM


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Bert
Date: 12 May 99 - 10:22 AM

Peter T,

It's not supposed to be authentic, it's supposed to be funny. It should be sung in 'solemn mockery' of both the situation and the accent. I don't know who you've heard singing it but they obviously weren't getting the message across.

Bert.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: tomtom
Date: 12 May 99 - 10:13 AM

DWDitty,

The line from the N. Diamond song is:

"I am," I said, to no one there, and no one heard at all, not even the chair.

You're right. It's awful. And if the world is broken up into lovers and haters of N.D., we're on the same side.

tomtom


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Sean MacRuaraidh (inactive)
Date: 12 May 99 - 09:01 AM

I can't describe it and don't have the facilities to put it online.

Sorry.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: WyoWoman
Date: 11 May 99 - 11:27 PM

Sean, now I'm curious about how that tune goes. Sounds like great fun. One of the things I miss about moving up here in the wild West is that the music jams are all bluegrass, which is great fun for the instrumentalists, and some for a singer, but you don't get those great, lively sings we used to have when I lived in New Mexico -- brought to us, of course, by friends who'd spent time in the U.K., and learned a thing or two about the deep fun of group sings. Allan -- Well, it WAS the '60s, of course, and I WAS but a kid, and doing a bit of what kids were doing back then. But just a bit... ;-}

kc


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Sean MacRuaraidh (inactive)
Date: 11 May 99 - 01:19 PM

On Ilkley moor bah tat - is a song I used to sing at University in Newcastle with a few friends - one from Hampshire - when we got drunk at parties. The foreign students liked and we also sang it in that ridiculous way were one person sings one line, the others sing the next - the tune shoots from high to low and the whole thing is mayhem in an acapello, barbers-shop style.

It was fun to sing and the lyrics were irrelevant though if you know the song properley then at least its capturing some of the old language of the North which is something I like.

If you think the song is dreary its because the people singing it are making it dreary. I realise how the subject matter might inspire that approach but its really not necessary.

Also, its one of those songs that everyone in the UK knows a bit of as we all do it at school at some point so there's no need to teach it to people first.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Allan C.
Date: 11 May 99 - 01:18 PM

I have to wonder what you were "on", KC! Not that I haven't had similar revelations...

The "o" thing with Fenario and "Green Grow...) is to me one of the most irritating lyric devices found in some folk songs. For instance, I have a real problem with songs about Californi-O.

Speaking of the "o" thing - this was one of the main things which put me off from singing Madrigals. ex.: "Just as the tide was flo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o--o-o-owing"

Good grief!


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Peter T.
Date: 11 May 99 - 11:52 AM

How about "Green Grow the Rushes ,O?" ("What is your nine-ho?") If you sing this in my presence you will be one is one and all alone and ever more shall be so!
(I especially hate discussions about who all the characters imprisoned in this song forever are. It seems to bring out the pontificators clothed all in green-o).
May their children turn out to be what they always hoped they would be, and thus reveal to them at the end of their lives the final barrenness of all their hopes and dreams.
(I learned that toast/curse from an Irish poet some years ago).
Yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 11 May 99 - 10:57 AM

Peter, you've nailed it. "ilkley....etc" is pretty damned annoying. I've been trying to think of other folksongs that deserve to be on this list, but of course we're far more charitable towards them. My favourite band of all time, the Delmore Brothers sang "Hard luck Poppa countin' his toes. You can smell his feet wherever he goes". That's not a pleasant image.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Peter T.
Date: 11 May 99 - 10:45 AM

Dear KC, you are of course right. I meant to say taken out, disembowelled while still conscious (with a few worms sprinkled in the guts), and then drawn-and-quartered by slow horses. Almost exactly like watching the last half hour of Braveheart, and reasonably close to the experience of watching the first two hours.
Yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: WyoWoman
Date: 11 May 99 - 10:25 AM

You favor the strangling before the drawing and quartering then? I wish someone would have thought of that in the execrable last scene from "Braveheart," so we wouldn't have had to watch Mel Gibson writhe handsomely and overact for 20 minutes!

I don't know if it's the WORST single line, but for sheer inexplicable, we might go to that famous old Mexican fold song made so famous by Ritchie Valens (YEARS before my time, of course) "La Bamba." The first verse is cute, "Para bailar la bamba..." ("To dance la bamba, you need a little grace and another little thing...") then we cut to the "Yo no soy marinero, soy capitan, soy capitan..." What does it mean, "I'm not a sailor, I'm the captain..." Huh? This, as far as I can tell, is it for that song.

(It may not matter anyway, since people only sing "Para bailar la bamba, la la la la la la la la...etc." anyway.

kc


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Peter T.
Date: 11 May 99 - 10:01 AM

Well, Joe, I don't know about single lines in folk music, but I have always hated everything about "Ilkley Moor Baht'eht" (You can spell it at random, it hardly matters), especially the terribly authentic way people sing it, emphasizing all those cute Northern semi-vowels. ("Then worms shall coom and eat thee oop!!!") The song is dreary, like Where Have All the Flowers Gone without the cheery optimism of WHAFG, and the tune is like something thought up by a whining drunk after a walk in a cute factory. It has no redeeming qualities, except that it is screamingly authentic, like the Black Death and cholera. I don't know anything about its history, and don't want to know anything about its history. The first person who ever sang it should have been strangled immediately and drawn-and-quartered in a public place as a warning to others.
Yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Shack
Date: 11 May 99 - 09:51 AM

"Woke up this morning, spilled all the coffee." Poetic stuff, Willie! But nobody can ever beat, "You're my Jamaica; you're where I want to be-ee" (Charlie Pride)


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 11 May 99 - 02:54 AM

Yes, Jerry, there is a "Dropkick Me Jesus"

It's by Bobby Bare (writer of "Detroit City"), and is on his "The Winner and Other Losers" album. It was actually the theme song for Monday Night Footbal for one season--or a few games, at least. I have the album and will try to get around to posting the words. For now, here's the chorus:

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life,
End over end, neither left nor the right,
Straight through the bars of them righteous uprights,
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalsposts of life.



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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: WyoWoman
Date: 11 May 99 - 01:25 AM

Well, after that, I'm gonna retire. What could be worse than five constipated men? (I'm sure I'll get some answers...)

And of course, LEJ, there was more to Morrison than his hair or he'd never have become the idol he did. He obviously was giving voice to SOMEthing we all needed to have said at the time. But he began to believe his own P.R. and got just a smidge pretentious, don't you think? My abiding memory of The Doors was the first time I ever remember hearing them, and my roommate and I were lying on the floor of our dorm room, listening to "The End," through our HAIR DRYER HOSE, no less. At the time, it seemed to make great sense and to hugely enhance the eery effects of the music. That was also the night we decided to write down the Great Truths -- things we could say without question were always, unalterably true. We got to "Potato chips are hard to swallow whole" and "there's a funny smell in the room" and "Earth is way the f*** out in space," and the RA (resident advisor) busted us for laughing. But that was long ago and far away, and has nothing to do with five constipated men...

kc


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: KYST (inactive)
Date: 11 May 99 - 12:26 AM

I just ran across this.

FIVE CONSTIPATED MEN

There were five, five, constipated men In the Bible, in the Bible There five, five, constipated men In the five books of Moses

The first, first, constipated man Was Cain, he wasn't Abel The first, first, constipated man Was Cain, he wasn't Abel

CHORUS

The second, second constipated man Was Balaam, he couldn't move his ass The second, second constipated man Was Balaam, he couldn't move his ass

and it goes on and on!!!


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Rodney Rawlings
Date: 10 May 99 - 09:11 PM

The way you look tonight ... The way you LOOK tona-ha-hight ... The way you look toni-YI-YIght ... The way you loOOOOOOOok tonight ... Way y'look t'nite ... The way you look to-night ... Way you look da way you look da way you look ...

On the subject of pop, where's Jerome Kern when you need him?!

Rodney Rawlings Music, Melody, and Songs ("The song, not the singer.") http://www.druid.net/~rodney


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Jerry Friedman
Date: 10 May 99 - 08:31 PM

Hmm, I'd describe the lyrics of "Light my Fire" as mediocre, but they wouldn't make my list of the worst. Morrison strikes me as too serious about his surrealism and his not-too-authentic blues roots, but I still like the Doors a lot (even some of the lyrics). He did perpetrate perhaps the most painful grammar in the history of American popular music, though--"Till the stars fall from the sky/ For you and I."

Rod McKuen is a songwriter--the two I know are "I may not Pass this Way Again" (I'm on my way to find a friend,/ And I may not pass this way again...) and "Jean" (Jean, Jean, the roses are red,/ All the leaves have gone green....) The music is as sweet as the lyrics. But. Not only that. Unless I'm very much mistaken, Rod wrote the English words to... "Seasons in the Sun"! That's right, folks! The original French lyrics are by Jacques Brel, as is the music, and the original song is much better.

The problem with bad lines in folk songs is that they're bad because they're authentic, so you can't criticize them. See Tom Lehrer's introduction to "The Folk Song Army". But I must say I rather like "Our captain fell in love with a lady like a dove". To me the worst line in that Fenario/Fyvie-o/etc. song is "Destroying all the ladies in the area-o."

Surely "Drop-Kick me, Jesus" is a joke. Right?


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Joe Offer
Date: 10 May 99 - 08:02 PM

Well, darn - somebody already posted my nominations - "Yummy, Yummy, etc.," and just about any line from "MacArthur Park." The thing is, picking "worst lines" from pop songs is like shooting ducks in a pond. You'll notice that most of the songs in the "best lines" thread are folk songs. I'd like to see a few more folk song nominations in this "worst" thread. That would be a good test of our honesty - not that I can think of any lines right off myself....
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: LEJ
Date: 10 May 99 - 05:42 PM

KC...great comments about Jim Morrison. My feeling was that if I could be as moody and dark as Jimbo, all the girls would want to spend one night making MY disposition sunny. I think Jim did considerably better in that regard.

However that may be, I do feel that Morrison and the Doors stood apart from the rest of the Flower-Power fluff of that era in creating a unique, dark and very inward-looking music. Morrison was certainly excessive in everything he did, but many of his lyrics express a deep feeling of loneliness,isolation and the longing for something beyond the mundane that spoke to a generation, and still does. His band created Rock Theatre on stage, and blurred the lines between the artist as personna and the artist as individual- this was the issue that eventually forced Morrison to reject Rock Stardom and withdraw to Paris to live the life of a poet. The great irony being that he was certainly more adept at entertainment than he was as a poet. I believe the man was certainly more than his great hair- the ultimate tragedy for him was that he himself was never sure.

LEJ


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: The Shambles
Date: 10 May 99 - 05:38 PM

There is a song written by Gerry Garcia called 'Black Muddy River', which is a nice song but for one line that I just couldn't sing.

"The scream of an eagle on the fly".

ON THE FLY?


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: dwditty
Date: 10 May 99 - 10:34 AM

Who could forget "Last Kiss" Oh where, oh where can my baby be? Just look down.
DW


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: WyoWoman
Date: 10 May 99 - 10:19 AM

As a teenager back then, I, along with every other female I knew at the time, secretly harbored the belief that if we could spend ONE night with Jim Morrison, we could help make his bleak vision sunny, could save him from all that beautiful-but-destructive despair and lift the soul-deep angst that permeated his dark, obtuse lyrics.

Then we came to, at least I did, sometime in the '70s, and realized that the guy was an idiot with a bad sense of rhythm and a worse sense of rhyme. But great hair. The guy had great hair.

As for truly bad lines, someone mentioned Rod McKuen, who wasn't really a songwriter, although his stuff was always recited with that deliciously icky woo-woo music floating around in the background, so maybe it counts. My favorite awful one of his is, "You've been in the sun so long you even taste like the sun..." (Ouch)

kc


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Peter T.
Date: 10 May 99 - 09:51 AM

I suppose Noel Coward said it best of all -- strange how potent cheap music is.
I suspect that one reason the words and the songs get stuck in your head is that they are slightly wrong, like a jammed screw, and nothing you can do will get rid of them. I have tried for 15 years to get rid of ABBA song lyrics ("The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself!" from the immortal (curse it) "Waterloo". ABBA is a classic example: incredibly crafted, utterly danceable, almost but not quite coherent drivel. Anti-ABBA pills, please -- in all honesty, what would life be, without a song or a dance what are we, so I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me. --- AAAAArrrrgghhhhh!

Yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: The Shambles
Date: 09 May 99 - 07:01 AM

Didn't you know that 'You're so vain' was about ME?


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: The Shambles
Date: 08 May 99 - 08:27 PM

Rick

Seasons in the sun I had forgotten, thank you very much for bringing it up again.

As for 'Your so vain'. How can the person featured in the song, be accused of being so vain for thinking the song is about him, when the song IS about him?

As for King Wencislas, didn't he say "hither page", meaning, come here page, rather than HI THERE PAGE?

In your version I think they must have been pretty cool about this rank thing. "Hi to you too, Kingy Baby, how about you and me going out for some winter fuel"?


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 08 May 99 - 02:14 PM

Dear Mick

"We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun,....."

My sincere apologies. But just tell how that (expletive deleted) song has sold over 50 million copies. I mean, I want to feel optimistic as we head into the new millenium, but Jayzus!

If it's any consolation, I can't get "Where do You Go to My Lovely" out of my head now. And I'm trying to remember, did anybody figure out who the protaganist was? I heard Sofia Loren, but I can't picture her listening to Mick Jagger. Or WAS she Jagger in drag? Remember "You're So Vain"? Oh my God, I've done it again! Another Clinker, with a good tune. hummm, hummm, humm.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Wotcha
Date: 08 May 99 - 11:58 AM

Peter T. :

Airborne! How about the hackneyed Jody Call, "C-130 rolling down the strip/Airborne daddy gonna take a little trip..."

And let's not forget another jumper's favorite "Blood on the Risers..." He ain't gonna jump no more ...

Awful as these songs are, only the 82d Airborne Chorus can actually make them sound good.... Cheers, Brian


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 07 May 99 - 10:53 PM

Peter T. You have given me my biggest laugh in three weeks. (and I've needed one!)

First of all: I AM definitely related to Henry Fielding, although if he'd written one more like "Shamela" I'd be denying it. As to my communist affiliations: I didn't own enough Ben Shahn prints so I was expelled. Now about "Where Do You Go To My Lovely", I was about to renew my attack when Heather walked by and said "Oh, are you folks talking about your favourite songs? I LOVE that one!" So as far as I'm concerned from now on, "I want to look inside your head" is a wonderful line. Truthfully though, the damned thing CAN grow on you a bit. I think it's the chord pattern.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Big Mick
Date: 07 May 99 - 10:46 PM

Blast you, Fielding. I love you to death, but I had just about wiped out all residual traces of that horrible song from my memory bank and you bring it back up. I will now spend the NEXT thirty years trying to lose it. I will fix your royal backside. Here is one back. "Yummy Yummy Yummy I got love in my tummy". And being Irish, It is not good enough to get even, we must get ahead, so how about "Na na, na na na na, hey hey, goodbye".

JOKE: Do you know the definition of Irish Alzheimers? You forget everything but the grudges.

All the best,

Mick


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 07 May 99 - 10:39 PM

Lord, Lord, How could we have forgotten "Seasons in the Sun" by Terry Jacks? Thanks for the thread Alice. Oh and any line from it will do. How about: "Goodbye my friend it's hard to die, with all the birds singing in the sky". Arghhh, I haven't even got a joke..that says it all!


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Alice
Date: 07 May 99 - 10:08 PM

The story of how Lennon wrote that line, I think, is really an inspiration for how we pull together lyrics for songs, all the way from our childhood memories.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Alice
Date: 07 May 99 - 09:56 PM

LEJ, my son recently had to take some "facts about the Beatles" to music class, and we found this ( Pete Shotton's book) on the internet about "yellow matter custard" as one of the facts. There are additional stories about the old circus poster and some of the acts on it that inspired For The Benefit of Mr. Kite.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 07 May 99 - 09:42 PM

" yellow-matter custard - dripping from a dead dog's eye" -another profound example of Beatles poetry

LEJ (who never outgrew Jim Morrison's discombobulated rantings)


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Alice
Date: 07 May 99 - 09:10 PM

lyrics from Rod McKuen poems

for more on the Worst song, Worst line, etc.,
click here

alice


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Matthew B.
Date: 07 May 99 - 09:00 PM

I agree with the point about the hilariously awful lyrics in most of the songs by Jim Morrison and the doors.


Unlike the Beatles, most of whose lyrics belong in poetry books (Eleanor Rigby, I Will, It's Only Love, to name a few), the Doors' music was popular because we were all so stoned in those days (and ascribing meaning to that) that we tried to read meaning into the inebriated, discombobulated rantings they set to their music.


Jim Morrison's aloofness (due to his total contempt for all people and all things) just made him seem all the more "cool" to us when we were at that susceptible age.


The less understandable a song was, the more profound we imagined it to be. We loved it because we were young, but most of us outgrew the idea that their songs were saying anything altogether amazing. Seeing those embarrassingly dumb lyrics through adult eyes only makes it that much clearer to us now.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 07 May 99 - 08:42 PM

"manic depression is a frustrated mess" - Hendrix. Jimi, that ain't the half of it!

"if there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be low now- it's just a spring-clean for the May Queen." - Led Zepplin. HaHaHa- WHAT?

"Did you here about the frog who dreamed of being a Prince - and then became one-

well, except for the names and a few of the changes- my story is the same one." Neal "Mr Introspection" Diamond

"everybody's talkin bout a new way of walkin- do you wanna lose your mind?" The Generic 60's Folkie Group


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Peter T.
Date: 07 May 99 - 03:41 PM

O.K. Well, if that's the way you want it, Fielding (a Commie name if there ever was one, probably related to that pornographer Henry Fielding), Speaking as a paratrooper who has always felt that Barry Sadler and Lou Adler were two of the greatest Marine Band songwriters ever, I hobble to my computer to remind you that in our day we eschewed parachutes (because they made a noise like eschew, which was somewhat unnerving) NO!! BECAUSE WE WERE TOUGH!!!! Sure there were some who complained about having their knees driven up into their faces, but as psychological warfare against the Cong, it couldn't be beat!! And when we came out of the Green Beret shaped holes we had made in the landscape, we also had the advantage that we were now as short as the VC, and blended right in!!!
SO CEASE TO MOCK!!!
(It isn't much to assuage your disappointment, Rick, but does that help?)
I blush to admit that I never completed compiling the results of the grand Mudcat survey of Worst Songs ever that I sort of launched a long time ago (it is on a thread here, but I can't do blue thingies for some reason) as promised -- also Dave Barry published a book on the subject in the meantime. But it was certainly one of the most fun threads ever!! What puzzles me is how we could have missed "Where Do You Go To My Lovely?" the first time around.

Well, how about this:
Certainly, "Where Do You Go To My Lovely?" does not appeal to all, but as a searing indictment of the glitterati, and as a window into the soul of, on the one hand, a girl from the back streets of Naples rising from rags to Rags, and on the other, her childhood sweetheart whose passionate words are, as it were, the simulacra of a face pressed against the windowpane of his own life -- of such poignant art what can one say?

Yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: emily rain
Date: 07 May 99 - 02:55 PM

yeah, there's something strangely wonderful about a truly bad song... nothing makes me happier than my favorite terrible terrible song, "engine 143":

his head lay 'gainst the firebox door
the flames were rollin' high
i'm proud to be born for an engineer
and the c 'n' o road to die

... "i want to die for the engine i love
one hunnerd and forty-three!"

his face was covered up with blood
his eyes they could not see
and the very last words poor georgie cried
were "nearer, my god, to thee"

ha ha ha ha ha! what joy!


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 07 May 99 - 10:37 AM

Hey "Lonesome", I'm gonna have to re-evaluate Jim Morrison. The "drowning horse nostrils" has got me seriously thinking.

I always thought that Good King Wenceslas had a rather familiar manner with his underlings. After all you don't expect a king to greet a servant with "Hi there page...."

What I'm finding surprising is that no one is jumping in to defend any of these "worst lines". At times in the past when I wanted to get some adrenalin flowing in a club gig, I just had to suggest to the audience that we'd have a medley of "worst songs ever written" and ask for requests. Inevitably folks would call out "You Light up My Life, Feelings, Green Green Grass of Home, Horse With No Name, Taxi, Tie a Yellow Ribbon, Honey, etc. No sooner would someone call one out, when someone else would protest "hey, that's a GREAT song, waddaya mean it's bad?" After I got them communicating with each other, I'd try to get them ALL singing on something like "Irene". Ahh, the good ol' days singing in bars.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Sean MacRuaraidh (inactive)
Date: 07 May 99 - 07:20 AM

Hot dog, jumping frog, Alberquerque.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Matthew B.
Date: 07 May 99 - 06:55 AM

Here are some of my favorites:

How can I miss you when you won't go away?
from Dan Hick & his Hot Licks

and

From the gutter to you ain't up
origin unknown


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: leprechaun
Date: 07 May 99 - 04:17 AM

I can't get over you, so you'll have to get up and turn the light off yourself.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 07 May 99 - 03:27 AM

I got tears in my ears from lying on my back in my bed as I cried over you--from the song of that name. Another that could go either way. --seed


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