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WORST single lines

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GUEST,Slider 19 Feb 00 - 06:26 AM
Molly Malone 18 Feb 00 - 04:36 PM
GUEST,Chuck 24 Jan 00 - 07:33 PM
GUEST,Paul 24 Jan 00 - 04:25 PM
Sapper_RE 24 Jan 00 - 02:52 PM
GUEST,chuck 24 Jan 00 - 01:54 PM
Amos 24 Jan 00 - 12:03 PM
GUEST,Petr 24 Jan 00 - 11:51 AM
Lonesome EJ 24 Jan 00 - 12:59 AM
hrodelbert 24 Jan 00 - 12:55 AM
Caitrin 23 Jan 00 - 02:03 PM
Troll 22 Jan 00 - 06:24 PM
JVZ 22 Jan 00 - 05:56 PM
Uncle_DaveO 22 Jan 00 - 03:03 PM
Uncle_DaveO 22 Jan 00 - 02:33 PM
Uncle_DaveO 22 Jan 00 - 02:20 PM
Uncle_DaveO 22 Jan 00 - 02:03 PM
InOBU 22 Jan 00 - 11:45 AM
GUEST,chuck 22 Jan 00 - 11:09 AM
blind desert pete 18 Jan 00 - 01:50 PM
Willie-O 18 Jan 00 - 09:38 AM
InOBU 18 Jan 00 - 08:43 AM
John Gray / Australia 18 Jan 00 - 08:29 AM
Chester 18 Jan 00 - 03:07 AM
Mike,NZ 17 Jan 00 - 11:00 PM
Dick Karon 17 Jan 00 - 09:19 PM
McGrath of Harlow 17 Jan 00 - 09:06 PM
Jo Taylor 17 Jan 00 - 08:33 PM
Jo Taylor 17 Jan 00 - 08:07 PM
Lin in Kansas 17 Jan 00 - 12:27 AM
nonny mouse 16 Jan 00 - 11:17 PM
ToneDeafDave 16 Jan 00 - 12:20 AM
Jeff 15 Jan 00 - 02:23 AM
chuck 14 Jan 00 - 11:46 PM
McGrath of Harlow 14 Jan 00 - 07:19 PM
Sorcha 14 Jan 00 - 06:24 PM
Rob-o 14 Jan 00 - 06:16 PM
Bryant 14 Jan 00 - 05:45 PM
Midchuck 14 Jan 00 - 01:37 PM
Midchuck 14 Jan 00 - 01:32 PM
Petr 14 Jan 00 - 12:43 PM
Petr 14 Jan 00 - 12:37 PM
TheOldMole 14 Jan 00 - 12:35 PM
Neil Lowe 14 Jan 00 - 12:13 PM
The Duck of the Irish 14 Jan 00 - 09:55 AM
Lonesome EJ 12 Jan 00 - 11:37 PM
Mbo 12 Jan 00 - 11:03 PM
tradsteve 12 Jan 00 - 09:20 PM
Terry Allan Hall 12 Jan 00 - 09:07 PM
darkriver 12 Jan 00 - 08:51 PM
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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,Slider
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 06:26 AM

How about the Eagles song "Already gone" where one line of the song ends with the word "shelf" and is rhymed with the line "and you'll have to eat your lunch all by your self." Some stuff might not be bad , but just undecipherable like a J. Geils' tune that has a line that sounds to me like"some people call me Maurice for I speak of the pompitous of love..."Maybe I'm not hearing it right,but I haven't been able to figure it out all these years. Another song that was all too clear to understand and god-awfull to boot was entitled "I've been to paradise ,but I've never been to me" Soooo bad it made my toes curl every time I heard it. I changed the title to "I've had some parasites, but I've never had VD." ;~)


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Molly Malone
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 04:36 PM

Saw Five Constipated men on this and had to add the verse I heard the other day.

Well the fourth, fourth constipated man
His name was Noah, he nearly filled the ark.
etc, etc....
There's a new group to the Arizona Ren Festival called "Hey Nunnie Nunnie." They do this one and I couldn't stop laughing!


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,Chuck
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 07:33 PM

You're not the only choo-choo that was left out in the rain, the day after Santa came (Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn and Jones)


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,Paul
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 04:25 PM

In the category of really bad lines contained within otherwise pretty good songs, I've always shuddered at. . .

"Looking at the rain, feeling the pain of love loss running through my BRAIN," by Gordon Lightfoot.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Sapper_RE
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 02:52 PM

From the old hymn, The Church is One Foundation:-

Waft Waft ye winds the story, Of what our Lord hath done. Sapper


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,chuck
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 01:54 PM

"Your'e wanted by the po-lice and my wife thinks your'e dead"

I almost like that one!


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 12:03 PM

Should I mention the awful '45 we used to spin in the mess hall? One side went:

"Nashville Katz; he runs a kosher deli.

Nashville Katz; it's the only one in town!

Nashville Katz! It's not like you're in Brooklyn!

Nashville Katz! He's the only one around!.

And the other side has an ode to a Brooklyn girlfriend named Shirley Klein:

"Oi've gotta a goil her name is Shoily Klein.

I'm so glad that Shoiley Klein is mine!

Shoiley! She's a sexy goily! Shoiley!"

Dreckkk!


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,Petr
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 11:51 AM

How about, Stalin wasn't stallin' when he beat the beast of Berlin. or Saddam is at 'em again, Uncle sam thought he had 'em but Saddam is at 'em again, Skiddly Dubai, Skiddly Dubai Abyssinia, Abyssinia ... (Scat style) cant remember the rest Cheers Petr


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 12:59 AM

hrodel... that's one of the very Best.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: hrodelbert
Date: 24 Jan 00 - 12:55 AM

Don't know that this is the worst line but certainly one of the saddest. "I could have loved you better didn't mean to be unkind, you know that was the last thing on my mind"


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Caitrin
Date: 23 Jan 00 - 02:03 PM

Oh, if we're going to get into military songs,I know lots of those. I have an uncle who was Airborne and got a big kick out of teaching me stuff that would tick off my mother.
For instance...
There are no airborne rangers in the navy,
There are no airborne rangers in the navy,
They spend all their time on boats,
doing God knows what with goats,
There are no airborne rangers in the navy. It goes on to say unflattering things about West Point and the air force, as well. There's doubtlessly a Marine Corps verse, too, but I don't know it.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Troll
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 06:24 PM

Early Elvis: I Forgot To Remember To Forget. What profound imagery.

troll


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: JVZ
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 05:56 PM

Sometimes, a song is so bad, it's good.

She's my darlin', she's my daisy; She's humpbacked and she's crazy; That cross-eyed gal that lives upon the hill. Oh she took strychnine and died and I hope she's satisfied, 'Cause she done the whole darn thing against my will.

John


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 03:03 PM

Dick Karon said:

Dr. Freud! One of my VERY favorite songs! Always gets a good laugh, and often requests for a copy of the words, but not as good in these latter days when psychotherapy is no longer hot in the public consciousness as it was in the 50s and 60s.

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 02:33 PM

Bert said:

"Your point is taken, I can see how you would hate it if you don't like that sort of thing."

On the other hand, "It's just the sort of thing you'd enjoy, if you LIKE that sort of thing!"

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 02:20 PM

Since I expect I'm older than most here, I remember with a particular sense of revulsion a song of the early sixties:

Oh, it's delightful to be married, To be, to be, to be married!

How cutesy-baby can you get and still live?

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 02:03 PM

< What do you get when you kiss a girl, Enough germs to catch pneumonia And when you do she'll never phone-ya I'll never fall in love again.

Au contraire! That's great! Inspired! The song is intended as a hokey joke, and succeeds wonderfully!


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: InOBU
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 11:45 AM

This line takes an accompaning story...
I love the song, but, I inject a Free before one word, for reasons which become apparent...
There was music there, on the Derry Air...
My friends Tony, both from Derry, had a band called the Derry Airs. They asked me to do a silk screan for their band T-shirt. I suggested a drawing of someones bum. They didn t get it, speaking no french... Tony T-bags got very serrious, No, Lehrry, like, ya know, the Free Dehrry wall, er sommat.
I told him I knew of what he spoke, but... and told him what Derry Air brought to mind in french. Red faces all round...
Now the D A sing, there was music there, on the free Derry air
Larry


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: GUEST,chuck
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 11:09 AM

First heard this gem about 10 years ago on the radio:

Yubba dubba doo, the King is gone, and so are you.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: blind desert pete
Date: 18 Jan 00 - 01:50 PM

Peter T. Airborne! I always hateed the jody romp em, stomp em kick em in the ass, hide their bodies in the grass.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Willie-O
Date: 18 Jan 00 - 09:38 AM

Really bad Canadian lines...Well my friend Lynn Miles has written a lot of disappointed love songs with skating imagery...my favorite has a line that goes:

"There is a Zamboni of sorts in all our hearts..."

As a metaphor, it's kind of like trying to move a piece of furniture that's three inches wider than the door frame... (what the hell?) but it's still better than:

"Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die, till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides."

Y'know, there was a period of about five minutes when Dan Hill, the writer of this awful thing, burst on the scene, (it was quite a mess) when people actually took him seriously. I can still quote verbatim this immortal prophecy of some Ottawa Citizen "critic" in the late seventies:

"[Dan Hill] is, perhaps, our finest songwriter. So long Gord Lightfoot, and Murray McLauchlan and Bruce Cockburn, you better hustle if you want to keep up."

Well, three of those four names have a pretty assured position in the songwriters hall of fame...I just hope Dan Hill has a nice safe job and isn't allowed to write and record songs anymore.

Willie-O


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: InOBU
Date: 18 Jan 00 - 08:43 AM

This line is from a song by a band called No Fun, and is both the best and worst line writen by their bard...
Hitting on my sister
because I cant resister

what can one say about a lyric like that?
Larry


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: John Gray / Australia
Date: 18 Jan 00 - 08:29 AM

In the Digitrad is the original version of Rolf harris' song "Tie Me Kangaroo Down" The second last verse has the worst ( most disgusting ) lines ; Let me Abos go loose Bruce, Let me Abos go loose. They're of no further use, Bruce, So let me Abos go loose.

There are some explanatory notes after the last verse. It was later released without this verse but the damage had been done. It was a very popular song when first released so I guess our attitudes here weren't real flash in the late 60's.

FME / John


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Chester
Date: 18 Jan 00 - 03:07 AM

I don't know if I'd say for certain it's the worst line I ever heard but there was a country song on the radio in maybe the 70s that drove me crazy because it just was so ungrammatical it made no sense. "Is it wrong for loving you? Is it wrong for being true?" I always wanted to wring his neck and say dammit, either say " Is is wrong to love you? " or "Am I wrong for loving you?" Don't get me wrong, I'm not stuck up about grammar. My very favorite rhyme ( so far ) in music is in Coal Miner's Daughter when Loretta sings " We worked and the work was hard; at night we'd sleep cause we was tard." The woman's a goddess (well, if you overlook the Republican Party endorsements in her autobiography).


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Mike,NZ
Date: 17 Jan 00 - 11:00 PM

Like Dick I have just tuned in and spent an entertaining 45 miinutes reading thru this lot. How does anyone choose a bad line from so many potentials. I laughed at the comments on 'Ilkley Moor' and agreed withsome of them. In the same vein is the song "I love to go a wandering with my knapsack on my back..." I still cringe at the chorus 40-odd years after being forced to stand in front of a class and sing it.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Dick Karon
Date: 17 Jan 00 - 09:19 PM

Just tuned in and am surprised to see that no one came up with the chorus & title, "These tears have washed I love you from the blackboard of my heart." The chorus goes on, "It's too late to change the slate & make another start, I'm satisfied the way things are although we're far apart, These tears have washed I love you from the blackboard of my heart."

If you want something more cebreal, trythe start of the chorus from "The Id goes Marchin' On": "Oh Dr. Freud, Dr. Freud, How I wish you had been otherwise employed."


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 17 Jan 00 - 09:06 PM

"Thrusted friend" is a great image for a song...


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Jo Taylor
Date: 17 Jan 00 - 08:33 PM

Rick - you will be so happy to know that 'Seasons in the Sun' is doing very well in the UK charts - No.4 now, was no.1 last week!

This is called Rick's site... and I think you'll be pleased to know that 'Seasons in the Sun is listed - serendipity?! And I just had to copy this section of the lyrics as written:
"Good bye to you my thrusted friend,
we`ve known each other since we were nine or ten;
together we climbed hills and trees,
learned of love A B C;
skinned our harts and skinned our knees.

(sic)(sick?)thrusted friend? skinned our harts??
Worst Songs for 1974

Jo


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Jo Taylor
Date: 17 Jan 00 - 08:07 PM


Try this...


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 17 Jan 00 - 12:27 AM

Just tuned in--good gad, so many fond memories of my misspent youth!
Somewhere up there, somebody mentioned "Drop Kick Me, Jesus"--I was always under the impression that was a Kris Kristofferson song--not true? I seem to remember, at any rate, him doing a very "soulful" version of it on one of my now (thankfully) lost albums!
The "rain, and wind..." reference, I think, is from "Mariah," and actually goes something like this:
Way out here, they got a name
For rain, and wind, and fire...
The rain is Tess, the fire is Joel,br> And they call the wind Mar-i-i-ah."
(and actually, I've always kinda liked that one )

My nomination for worst: any line from any Tammy Wynette song ever done. (D-I-V-O-R-C-E!)

Lin


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: nonny mouse
Date: 16 Jan 00 - 11:17 PM

I got the no shirt, no shoes, sorry, son, no service blues


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: ToneDeafDave
Date: 16 Jan 00 - 12:20 AM

There is a book which may still exist, with more bad lines than this entire thread. It was, at one time, sung from once a week by IBM emplyees (so a retired IBM employee assured me, thirty years ago). I heard songs from it being sung at a Computer Conference - some one had got hold of the book, commissioned the Choir of British Secretaries in New York to sing it, and was giving away the resulting LP free . The line of people waiting to get their copy was so long I did not wait - for which I am very sorry to this day.

I can only remember one fragment of a line, from a song entitled "March on with IBM" - the fragment was "With our leader Mr. Watson to the fore." Enough said.

My favorite bad line in folk music has caused me to sing the song a few times. It is from a version of Lazarus and Dives which I got off a Young Tradition record. The song ends "There is a place reserved for you, to sit upon a serpent's knee". Perhaps the originator could have answered the famous childhood question "Where does your lap go when you stand up".


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Jeff
Date: 15 Jan 00 - 02:23 AM

Back when I first started working in radio, one of the creative groups sent out a funny little vignette about a station manager telling his staff that they were changing formats to the hottest thing in music "Punk Country".

He played an example, and although it is many years ago, I still remember how it began:

I wanna kick your cow C'mon and show me how

Frankly, I don't think it is too different from some "real" country songs. (one of the titles on the country song list referenced by Midchuck reminded me).


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: chuck
Date: 14 Jan 00 - 11:46 PM

Didn't see this one yet:

My darling Lollipop,You make my heart go giddyup


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 14 Jan 00 - 07:19 PM

Just read through this. I can't believe noone has nominated "My way". Every line of it.

Ilkley Moore - well, for Tynesiders surely Yorkshire Songs aren't Northern at all. The tune and the way it's treated with repeats and all, is from a hymn suinging tradition stilkl currtent round Christnmas inm the Sheffield Derbyshire area - especially with the words of "While Shepherds Watched. Try Village Carols

The good thing with the folk process is that the bad songs die out (so do a lot of good ones) and the bad lines get misremembered and improved.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Sorcha
Date: 14 Jan 00 - 06:24 PM

on the beaches of Cheyenne BEACHES???IN CHEYENNE??


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Rob-o
Date: 14 Jan 00 - 06:16 PM

Lots of comments on Where Do You Go to My Lovely . . . have to admit I bought the single (now, how long ago was that?) because it was so different. Loved but lost touch with it over the years, until I heard Blackie, of the Sons of Erin, play it during a solo gig in Newfoundland two years back. Recognized it immediately and it hit me with the same kind of whoosh! I felt on a recent trip to New Orleans and heard a band do Louisiana by Randy Newman -- another one you just don't hear performed that often. There's just something about the song that clicks, notions of "and with your carefully designed topless swimswuit, you get an even suntan, on your back, and on your legs, a-hah-a-hah" (indeed) notwithstanding. My brother Clifton can attest to my surprising him with a rendition of it during our recent holiday visit. Funny, he knew all the words, too.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Bryant
Date: 14 Jan 00 - 05:45 PM

Suprised no one's mention any of the lines from this ghastly ditty.


My baby is a-workin' up an appetite
For a little bit of afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite

If I remember correctly, there are actual fireworks sound effects during the chorus. Blech!


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Midchuck
Date: 14 Jan 00 - 01:37 PM

I think I did! Oh, the cleverness of me!


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Midchuck
Date: 14 Jan 00 - 01:32 PM

This should be a link to an extensive list of horrible country song titles. Let us see if I did it right.

Peter.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Petr
Date: 14 Jan 00 - 12:43 PM

love is like a stove burns you when its hot. Roy orbison


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Petr
Date: 14 Jan 00 - 12:37 PM

Your wife is cheatin on us again. or How can I miss you if you wont go away.

I keep missing you, but my aim is getting better.

I hate every bone in your body except for mine.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: TheOldMole
Date: 14 Jan 00 - 12:35 PM

"I hear folks have "I hear folks have names for things, like rain and wind and fire . . ."

Not quite the line -- but in any case, it's not a part of the folk process. It's By Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe, from the Broadway musical "Paint Your Wagon."


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Neil Lowe
Date: 14 Jan 00 - 12:13 PM

"Do Be Do Be Do," from "Strangers In The Night."

And Frank and Nancy singing a duet: "And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like, 'I love you.'"

Someone's knockin' at the door
Someone's ringing the bell
(repeat these two lines one time)
Open the door
Let 'em in. (From some vapid Paul McCartney album)

Wonder how long it took Sir Paul to think that verse up?

Regards, Neil


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: The Duck of the Irish
Date: 14 Jan 00 - 09:55 AM

This has got to be the one. The final line in the song by the Animals, about San Fran. "It's an American dream, includes Indians too" I rest my case!


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 12 Jan 00 - 11:37 PM

My band was working on one of my songs, when I looked down and the sheet with my lyrics and tablature was gone. As I frantically searched for it, the guitar player turns to me in mock horror and exclaims "...and I'll never have that recipe again!OH-NOOOOO"


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Mbo
Date: 12 Jan 00 - 11:03 PM

Caitrin, Oasis' songs are riddled with Beatles references, which makes them even more fun th listen to. Wonderwall was the name of George Harrison's very first solo album, "Wonderwall Music." The Gallaghers thought the album was so good, they used it as title for something similarly as great as Wonderwall Music.

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: tradsteve
Date: 12 Jan 00 - 09:20 PM

"C'mon baby, lemme see your jugs. I'll confess to every murder since 1991" from some nameless rap song I heard on the music store loudspeaker the other day. Pure poetry... I shudder when I think of the inteligence of the record buying public.


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: Terry Allan Hall
Date: 12 Jan 00 - 09:07 PM

Actually, those who can comprehend poetry understand "MacArthur Park" as a great example of SYMBOLISM...feel free to look up this word in your dictionary. Get it now?

Here's one that might be a bit more your speed:

"How can I get you off of my mind, while you're sitting on my face"


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Subject: RE: WORST single lines
From: darkriver
Date: 12 Jan 00 - 08:51 PM

Well, someone up there (laughing too hard right now to scroll smoothly upward) mentioned looking for the bad lines in folk music. All right, then . . . .

(These are actually pseudo-folk--it's hard to imagine stuff this bad surviving the supposed 'folk process'.)

"I hear folks have names for things, like rain and wind and fire . . ."

and

"I gave my love a cherry, that had no stone . . ." (I really enjoyed that scene in the movie Animal House where some Sincere Young Man With A Guitar starts that last number, and one of the frat guys rips away the guitar and beats the SYM over the head with it.)

Others?

doug aka darkriver


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