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BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker

GUEST,Party Crackers 16 Mar 09 - 05:56 PM
The Fooles Troupe 28 Dec 07 - 08:29 PM
Herga Kitty 28 Dec 07 - 01:56 PM
Cats 28 Dec 07 - 07:38 AM
TRUBRIT 27 Dec 07 - 09:58 PM
Little Robyn 27 Dec 07 - 09:56 PM
GUEST,frogprince in Wisconsin 27 Dec 07 - 11:10 AM
dick greenhaus 26 Dec 07 - 11:49 PM
Greg B 26 Dec 07 - 05:10 PM
TRUBRIT 26 Dec 07 - 04:29 PM
TheSnail 26 Dec 07 - 09:22 AM
maeve 19 Dec 07 - 06:45 PM
Celtaddict 19 Dec 07 - 04:42 PM
jonm 19 Dec 07 - 11:50 AM
TRUBRIT 18 Dec 07 - 10:47 PM
Mo the caller 18 Dec 07 - 05:19 PM
Stilly River Sage 18 Dec 07 - 10:43 AM
Liz the Squeak 18 Dec 07 - 07:15 AM
McGrath of Harlow 18 Dec 07 - 06:50 AM
Sandra in Sydney 18 Dec 07 - 02:27 AM
gnomad 18 Dec 07 - 01:59 AM
TRUBRIT 18 Dec 07 - 01:26 AM
Jim Dixon 17 Dec 07 - 09:51 PM
maeve 17 Dec 07 - 09:26 PM
Jim Dixon 17 Dec 07 - 08:03 PM
frogprince 17 Dec 07 - 04:09 PM
catspaw49 17 Dec 07 - 02:55 PM
john f weldon 17 Dec 07 - 02:18 PM
SINSULL 17 Dec 07 - 12:37 PM
Stilly River Sage 17 Dec 07 - 11:42 AM
GUEST,Neil D 17 Dec 07 - 10:43 AM
Mr Happy 17 Dec 07 - 08:56 AM
Leadfingers 17 Dec 07 - 08:28 AM
Liz the Squeak 17 Dec 07 - 02:58 AM
Sandra in Sydney 17 Dec 07 - 02:35 AM
Rowan 16 Dec 07 - 11:47 PM
frogprince 16 Dec 07 - 11:40 PM
Rowan 16 Dec 07 - 11:29 PM
frogprince 16 Dec 07 - 11:12 PM
Rowan 16 Dec 07 - 10:39 PM
catspaw49 16 Dec 07 - 10:09 PM
Jim Dixon 16 Dec 07 - 08:17 PM
Georgiansilver 16 Dec 07 - 06:51 PM
SINSULL 16 Dec 07 - 06:27 PM
Leadfingers 16 Dec 07 - 06:16 PM
Sandra in Sydney 16 Dec 07 - 06:09 PM
john f weldon 16 Dec 07 - 04:03 PM
Liz the Squeak 16 Dec 07 - 03:49 PM
john f weldon 16 Dec 07 - 03:27 PM
john f weldon 16 Dec 07 - 03:24 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: GUEST,Party Crackers
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 05:56 PM

There is a party crackers website that provides videos showing how to open christmas party crackers.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 28 Dec 07 - 08:29 PM

My favourite Fortune Cookie: Help! I'm trapped in a Chinese Fortune Cookie Factory!


I got a Sweater for Christmas: I could have got a Screamer or a Moaner...


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 28 Dec 07 - 01:56 PM

LTS - that 1977 Christmas episode of The Good Life with the newspaper crackers was re-shown on Christmas Eve, last Monday.

Margo and Jerry's Christmas had been cancelled, because she'd sent back the entire Christmas Eve delivery order on account of the Christmas tree being 9" short, without realising that the full order wasn't going to be delivered on Christmas Day.

Margo didn't get the joke in her cracker. I did, but I can't now remember what it was....

Kitty


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Cats
Date: 28 Dec 07 - 07:38 AM

What is Santas favourite pizza?


Deep Pan, crisp and even.....

It was in my cracker, it's not one of mine!


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 09:58 PM

That joke was quite good however.......


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Little Robyn
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 09:56 PM

I bought el-cheapo crackers this year. The cardboard and the snaps were glued in so well they couldn't be pulled at all and in the end we opened them up, extracted the snaps and just pulled them.
Instead of a plastic toy, they had 4 little stickers, a hat and the joke -
What do you call two robbers?
A pair of knickers!
The box says they were made in Indonesia.
Robyn


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: GUEST,frogprince in Wisconsin
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 11:10 AM

One of my lifetime ambitions is to sneak into a chinese cookie bakery sometime and insert some tidbits like "you are HIV positive but haven't been diagnosed yet" and "You will be run over by a truck when you leave the restaurant".


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 11:49 PM

And my pet "fortune" from a Chinese fortune cookie was "Enjoy another Chinese repast soon"   

For real.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Greg B
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 05:10 PM

Here in the US, the nearest thing most people have is
a dirty old uncle who invites all the kids to 'pull my finger'
after dinner...


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 04:29 PM

And for the first Christmas in I don't know how many years -- we did not have crackers. My kids are grown(ish) - 19, 22 and 26.......they railed at me for not having them. Next year I shall be more organized......! And - as my 22 year old said in a horrified voice - no CANDY CANES MUM!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: TheSnail
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 09:22 AM

In my cracker yesterday -

Q. How do snails keep their shells shiny?

A. They use snail varnish.

Spooky.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: maeve
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 06:45 PM

jonm- Making them is fairly easy, and as you said it's then possible to insert better prizes than the usual commercial bits. Do you use the snapper, or simply unwrap them as Mo the caller mentioned? Do you write your own jokes? (Planning for next year...)

Thanks,
maeve


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Celtaddict
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 04:42 PM

I'm a little surprised at all the Americans who do not see these; it seems every Christmas department in every store, and the party places, craft places, dish stores, and a variety of other places have these anymore. However, I do recall as a kid in Oklahoma hearing Dylan Thomas reading 'A Child's Christmas in Wales' and when he mentioned 'crackers by the dessert spoons' I pictured an abundance, a big spoonful of little oyster type crackers to drop in the chowder.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: jonm
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 11:50 AM

We make our own, with jewellery and whisky miniatures in, and something more upmarket and useful for the kids than the usual plastic cr@p.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 18 Dec 07 - 10:47 PM

SRS -- yes, I know -- hence the translation in my post-- jumper in UK means sweater - jumper in the US means - what you said.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Mo the caller
Date: 18 Dec 07 - 05:19 PM

Of course if you UNWRAP the cracker, instead of pulling them, you can use them again.



Life was hard when I was young.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Dec 07 - 10:43 AM

TRUEBRIT, in the U.S. a "jumper" is a sleeveless outfit (like a dress) that is worn over a blouse or sweater. Often of denim or cordury, they're sturdy and cute and very practical.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Dec 07 - 07:15 AM

Q.   What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
A.   Bloody big holes all over Australia.

Q.   What else do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
A.   A wooly jumper with a pocket in it.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 18 Dec 07 - 06:50 AM

One of mine was from Ghandi...

Aaaargh! Not again. Ghandi never existed.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 18 Dec 07 - 02:27 AM

Jim - I've made crackers in the past from a kit I bought at a craft shop.

I've also seen the snaps sold separately in craft shops.

I think it came with a tissue paper hat & joke, & the maker could supply other goodies.

sandra


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: gnomad
Date: 18 Dec 07 - 01:59 AM

I knew a lady who assembled crackers to earn money, one of those "exploit the housebound" home jobs. She worked on a piece-rate, which I don't remember, but which I know horrified me at the time.

She would stand at a table, deftly assembling contents, wrapping and gluing, then twisting in the closure with a bit of string tied to the table leg. Any sub-standard work would not be paid for, though all materials would be deducted from future pay.

She did the job for years, so became very quick and seldom had work rejected, but I remember calculating that she earned in a morning about what a teenager could get by mopping up in a burger joint for an hour.

This was in England, and only about 12 years ago. I was never mad-keen on crackers, but I can't pull one now without seeing her in my mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 18 Dec 07 - 01:26 AM

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?

A woolly jumper!!!!!!!!

Ba ba boom!!

Non Brits might need a translation on what a 'jumper' is -- it's a sweater.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 17 Dec 07 - 09:51 PM

From maeve's first link:

HIGH STREET price: £9.99
HALF PRICE SALE PRICE: £7.95
OUT OF STOCK

Hm. There's some funny math going on there. But I guess you can charge whatever you want when you're out of stock.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: maeve
Date: 17 Dec 07 - 09:26 PM

Here you are:

Fill your own crackers

and

The original makers

maeve


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 17 Dec 07 - 08:03 PM

Amongst the Google Images that came up when I clicked the above link, there was this one, called Making a Cracker.

That raises the question, do people ever make their own crackers? Can you buy just the part that makes the bang? (And, maybe, the paper hat?) That leaves room for lots of creativity.

If you were going to make your own Christmas crackers, what would you put in them?


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: frogprince
Date: 17 Dec 07 - 04:09 PM

Dear God, Spaw...just when a guy thinks he's already seen the stoopidest thing in the world...


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Dec 07 - 02:55 PM

Just to keep the pix even and everyone understanding, here is a picture of some Georgia Crackers. The female version is a pull type sorta'.....................

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: john f weldon
Date: 17 Dec 07 - 02:18 PM

The older version went:

Call me a cab.

Okay, you're a cab. But I wouldn't call you hansom!


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Dec 07 - 12:37 PM

Somehow Gordon Bok, Kendall and Tom in those tissue hats is a sight tattooed on my brain. Jacqui and Linn looked quite normal in theirs.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Dec 07 - 11:42 AM

A coworker here in Texas went to a British import shop to get crackers for each table at our Friends of the Library celebration (we had a bagpiper this year, a fellow from Northern Ireland who played tunes from around the British Isles). He had to tell us how to use the things (pulled between two people, like a wishbone--whoever gets the big side gets the toy)! A goofy joke, a Cracker Jack-like toy and a tissue paper hat.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 17 Dec 07 - 10:43 AM

So what are you sugggesting Jim? Perhaps a merger with Bazooka Joe bubble gum perhaps? LOL.....Truly the worst jokes ever, even for a 9 year old!

Spaw


   I beg to differ. Where else did you find cutting edge humor like:

Lady: Boy, would you call me a cab?
Boy: Okay lady, You're a cab.

   Or

Lady: Thanks for helping with my bags. Here's a shiny new penny.
Boy: I'd rather have a dirty old nickel.
                                    Neil


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Mr Happy
Date: 17 Dec 07 - 08:56 AM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_cracker


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Leadfingers
Date: 17 Dec 07 - 08:28 AM

What about the Oyster who danced VERY energetically at a Party and pulled a mussel ?


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Dec 07 - 02:58 AM

Anyone else remember the Christmas episode of 'The Good Life' (UK sitcom about a couple living in Suburbia who go back to living off the land to the the disgust of their snobby next door neighbour, Margo), where they had newspaper crackers.

The problem was, there was no explosive strip in them so you were instructed to shout 'bang'. Margo, being Margo, yelled 'crack'!

Simple pleasures but fun!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 17 Dec 07 - 02:35 AM

Google images of Christmas Crackers


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Rowan
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 11:47 PM

Happy Christmas, Frogprince.

Cheers, Rowan,
from the Oz version of New England


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: frogprince
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 11:40 PM

Ahh...I have seen little pull-crackers, too small to have more than a slip of paper inside, but I don't know that they're common anywhere in the U.S. And if the reference had been to a prize in a box of crackers, the "pulling" would have had to be a non-literal idiom.
Darn, you Brits have all the really exciting customs...:~)


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Rowan
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 11:29 PM

G'day frogprince,
I don't have a piccie but can supply a description until someone else displays one.

Picture a tinselly paper cylinder about 12" long and 1.5" diameter, with a twist about 3" from each end; between the twists there is a thin cardboard cylinder (~ 6" long) inside the cellophane and tinsel. Inside the central cardbaord cylinder is where the paper hat, paper slip with woeful joke, and/or sometimes a toy or even even a fortune cookie.

Distal to the twists at each end is the "handle" part of the cracker, with a narrow strip of cardboard through the whole length of the cracker; this strip is connecting a bit of 'explosive' powder. You and your partner each grab a handle and pull firmly away from each other; the assembly usually separates at one of the twists, leaving one of you "the victor". As the cracker separates the two thin strips of cardboard, the powder gives of a sharp (but small) bang; hence the name "cracker".

Cheers, Rowan


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: frogprince
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 11:12 PM

Somebody show us yanks a picture of what kind of "christmas cracker" it is that has a hat or toy inside.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Rowan
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 10:39 PM

Out of about two dozen Christmas Crackers, so far (and in Oz), almost all had the usual paper hat, no toy, and the same joke;

What do you call a box of ducks?

A crate of quackers!

At the time I wondered, aloud, whether the writers learned them from 4-year-olds or whether the 4-year-olds learned them from Christmas Crackers.

Cheers, Rowan


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 10:09 PM

So what are you sugggesting Jim? Perhaps a merger with Bazooka Joe bubble gum perhaps? LOL.....Truly the worst jokes ever, even for a 9 year old!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 08:17 PM

I wish they'd put jokes instead of "fortunes" in "Chinese" fortune cookies (which were actually invented in San Francisco and are unknown in China, I've heard).

No matter how bad the jokes were, they'd be more entertaining than those stupid smarmy "fortunes."

Do you have Chinese fortune cookies in the UK or Ireland?


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 06:51 PM

Leadfingers...mine asked what are the two fastest things in the pond and the answer was motorpike and sidecarp.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 06:27 PM

So far I haven't found any Christmas Crackers this year. But I can always get fortune cookies at the local Chinese take-out.
"Jounrey of a thousand miles, starts with but a single step."
Your Lucky Lottery numbers are...


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Leadfingers
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 06:16 PM

Why do Mice only have small balls ??








Because very few of them can Dance


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 06:09 PM

On Friday at the office Christmas party @ a fancy 3 or 4 star hotel, the crackers on our table had 2 quotable quotes! One of mine was from Ghandi - I can't remember them now but they were about education.

They also contained very boring hats (most were not even opened) & a very dreary toy. Mine was a green insect, so I scrounged someone else's unicorn & also found a Comedy mask & a squirrel.

Another table did have crackers with the usual silly jokes, but the same hats & toys.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: john f weldon
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 04:03 PM

Just the punchlines. I can't bear to tell the jokes.

"Because they'll either have a bust up or a crack up."
"No, but it keeps the flies off my watermelon."
"Fifty pounds of putty and a tuba!"
"In the other hand? A loaf of bread!"
"Wow! That's three bucks already!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 03:49 PM

Why don't ducks tell jokes when flying?

They quack up.

Taken from a Christmas cracker pulled last night. The yoyo didn't work.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: john f weldon
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 03:27 PM

"I see you went to McGill."
"Ah, you noticed my suavity, my manly bearing?"
"No, I saw your class ring when you were picking your nose."


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Subject: RE: BS: Pulling a Christmas Cracker
From: john f weldon
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 03:24 PM

"Can I have an Ice-Cream Cone?"
"Uh... ...you're from (Newfoundland, Poland, whatever) aren't you?"
"How can you tell?"
"This is a hardware store."


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