Mudcat Café message #9922 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #2431   Message #9922
Posted By: Simon Beaton, New Zealand & Arbroath
31-Jul-97 - 04:39 AM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: The 37 Bus
Subject: Lyr Add: THE 37 BUS (M Toner)
(M Toner)

As I was on the upper deck of a 37 bus,
I saw big Jimmy swilling wine and kicking up a fuss.
The driver stopped the bus right sharp and belted up the stair.
"You can get to hell right off my bus if ye gee us ony mair."

"Och, pal, no offence," Big Jimmy said. "If you knew what I'd been through,
You wouldnae say such things to me or blame a man that's doon.
I lost a pile on the dogs the night, I'll have yae for to know.
All my wages doon the stank for a dog that wouldnae go."

The driver said he didn't give a monkey's or a tinker's curse.
"Your shoutin' and your bawling is distressing all of us.
I've had just about enough of you, a lot mair than I need.
If you don't hold that big tongue of yours, I'll stuff it down your heed."

Big Jim he smiled and picked his nose and finished off his wine.
He said, "The way you just spoke to me has gone right out of line.
I finish aff fifteen like you when I get into a fight.
Get down on your knees and pray for help, you dirty little shite."

The bus was in an uproar as people got off fast,
With good old Glasgow chivalry, allowed women and children last.
They gathered round and shouted out 'cause they didnae like Big Jim.
"Come on, driver! Sink the boot. Get stuck right intae him."

The driver smiled and waded in a-kicking, swinging brogues,
Until finally he got Jim's square head a-planted on his nose.
Jim's knee came up. His fist came doon. The driver moved no more.
So, he jumped a couple of times on his head as he twitched on the floor.

At this, a hundred polis men came up to capture Jim.
In threes and fours and dozens, he laid them out round him.
Till finally they sorted him out when the army brought a tank.
But I counted forty polis hats a-floating doon the stank.

So now, there's a notice on the upper deck of a 47 bus.
If you see Big Jimmy swilling wine and kicking up a fuss,
Don't try to act the hero and put Big Jimmy aff.
Our poor old Glasgow polis force still cannot afford the staff.

Sung by Hamish Imlach written by M Toner

Roughly translated from 'Glasgae' to English

Simon Beaton