Mudcat Café message #835903 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #54088   Message #835903
Posted By: Gareth
27-Nov-02 - 02:51 PM
Thread Name: Draft Dodging Songs?
Subject: RE: Draft Dodging Songs?
I don't want to join the army

"I don't want to join the army, I don't want to go to war
I'd rather hang around Piccadilly Underground
Living off the earnings of a high-class lady
I don't want a bayonet up my **se hole
I don't want my b*ll*cks shot away
No, I'd rather stay in England
In merry, merry England,
And fornicate my f**king life away.

Monday I touched her on the ankle
Tuesday I touched her on the knee
On Wednesday, success, I lifted up her dress
On Thursday I saw it, Cor Blimey!
Friday I laid my hand upon it
Saturday she gave my balls a twitch
On Sunday after supper, I rammed the f**ker up 'er
And now I'm paying thirty bob a week .... Cor Blimey!

Call on the army and the navy, call on the rank and file
Call on the territorial army, they face danger with a smile
You can call upon the boys of the old brigade
To set old England free
You can call upon my brother, my sister and my mother,
but for f**ks sake don't call me."

Hmmm! Squadies version of that old WW1 music hall song, but I think it fits.