Mudcat Café message #520855 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #37201   Message #520855
Posted By: georgeward
04-Aug-01 - 03:44 AM
Thread Name: Help: UK Catter at Risk
Subject: RE: Help: UK Catter at Risk
Well, Friend, your last post above is heartbreaking.That's the sort of distorted thinking that brings about the suicides that should't happen.

Like others above, I think you were right to involve her father...yet I also hope he's not part of the problem. It is genetics and chemistry right enough, but also social context and a lifetime of learning that feed the sort of thought patterns you've laid out for us. That I know firsthand. It may not be so in this case, but "people, places and things," can all be triggers, just as AA says. So...

I'd say, first, don't let your contact with her slip because someone else is now on the scene. You are the one she turned to (A cry for help that you've answered as well as one can. May be enough, may not. You've just got to put it out there in hope and DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF if she suicides anyway. Others have addressed this. Take us to heart. We've paid plenty to learn this).

Second, undoing that sort of thinking means a lot of capable, professional counselling. Keep that as something to come back to when and as you have the chance. As Bernard has said much better, THE world is not as she sees it, but HER world is. It can be a labor of years for a severely depressed person to learn that and to learn to use the knowledge.

Third (or maybe first)...support for yourself. If I were in your shoes, I'd be on the first bus back to whichever of the good therapists I've worked with could give me the earliest appointment. You may want to turn to someone else. Either way, it is simply one of the necessary tools to getting the job done safely and well.

And, oh yeah, by taking care of yourself emotionally, you are also modelling something she needs to see.

She's got a damn good friend! - George ::-.--O