Mudcat Café message #442600 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #33195   Message #442600
Posted By: wysiwyg
17-Apr-01 - 12:31 PM
Thread Name: Non-music....Why,oh why, oh why?
Subject: RE: Non-music....Why,oh why, oh why?
Maybe one of the underlying things here is simply that people are not prepared for the real community nature of the Mudcat when first arriving-- I mean, if we acknowledge that Mudcat is special when viewed in relation to other sites, boards, etc., then we would have to notice that it would be impossible to arrive understanding how it works, how to get along... it goes beyond manners, which differ somewhat from place to place and generation to generation, or among different media... it's partly about culture, which is not the same as manners. Sometimes I see us judging manners when what is at work is culture.

And sometimes I see us judging behavior as permanent, intentioned, and thought out with calm deliberation, when it is people just doing the best they can at the point in time at which we view them.

I am not saying this right. I'll try again.

Every day, all we can really see is a slice of who each person posting is on THAT DAY in their life. The friends I have made here, above evey other quality I value, expect this. They welcome whoever I am, however I am, trusting that I move forward as a person; they want the same from me.

It is impossible to be adequately prepared for the overwhelmingly welcoming nature of most of the people here brought together the way Max has made Mudcat. So, for instance, if you aren't accustomed to being made so welcome, it might be a long time before it occurred to you that simply giving yourself a name (and going beyond that to join and open the door to PM's) would result in being adopted into a new tribe. You would not realize, first encountering the tribe, that is has a culture you will want to adopt, or be adopted into. You are just going from your own culture at first.

I think we tend to forget that once we have been adopted in. I think it's very easy, in the good feelings of community, to forget that becoming part of Mudcat is a continuum and that people are not the same old Joe or Jane, once they've been here ahile, as they were the day they arrived. I mean, in any setting, life develops people... and Mudcat ESPECIALLY does.

I have gotten correspondences underway with people who had been real difficult community members... people who flamed, people who trolled, people with unmet needs or undeveloped social skills... people who were stuck in a behavior and blamed for it instead of getting a relaxed hand with it.... and this is a part of what they have said, after awhile... "I just never knew a community could be like THIS." And I have had people give me a hand that way.

I never knew it could be like this, either. Think back... did you?

~Susan