Mudcat Café message #3843834 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #161642   Message #3843834
Posted By: Tattie Bogle
09-Mar-17 - 04:38 AM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: The Mudcat Protest Song Challenge
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Mudcat Protest Song Challenge
Here's a wee protest against nuisance phone calls: lines in brackets are my replies, when there is a real person on the other end, whom I can berate for their nefarious activities. Apologies for any bad rhymes (see other thread re "over-used rhymes.)

NUISANCE CALLS copyright Trish Santer 09.03.17

I'm a Microsoft technician (No you're not)
Just called to sort that virus that you've got (No I haven't)
So if you will just log on
(No, bugger off, and get you gone,
You're a dirty rotten scammer, you bampot!)

We just called to make you aware of our new scheme,
It's government-approved, house-owner's dream,
We can replace your old windows
Or your boiler, where your bin goes,
And of course the magic word is always "green".

We think you might be owed some PPI,
Just sign along with us and we will try
To get back all your money,
But now it isn't funny,
As we'll take our cut which could be very high.

We heard you'd had an accident last year,
(That's bollocks, no I didn't, never fear,
Who told you that? They're all liars,
You're just chancers and false tryers,
So get off my line, do I make myself quite clear?)

That phone just keeps on ringing night and day,
Oh how I wish they'd all just go away,
But I have plans to stop yer,
I'll be buying a call blocker
To beat you at those games you want to play.