Mudcat Café message #3592843 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #95372   Message #3592843
Posted By: Jim Dixon
16-Jan-14 - 11:23 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Turkish Delight (from Arthur Godfrey)
Subject: Lyr Add: TURKISH DELIGHT (from Ray Noble)
You can hear this on YouTube. It's also on Spotify. The numbered verses and choruses are sung; the rest is spoken. An ellipsis indicates words I couldn't understand.


TURKISH DELIGHT
As recorded by Ray Noble & His Mayfair Orchestra, with Bobbie Comber, vocalist, 1932.

[Part 1]

NARRATOR: This musical travelogue comes to you by courtesy of the Persian Cat and Carpet Company, whose slogan "Snug as a bug in a Persian rug" is known all over Wigan.

VOICE: I sell you a nice carpet, master. Lovely carpet, very cheap!

NARRATOR: Quite, yes, quite. We are now in the native quarter which occupies more than three quarters of Baghdad.

VOICE: You want to see pretty postcards, master? All real photos.

NARRATOR: Go away! On our left hand is a large mosque, and on our right several small mosques, or mosquitoes. The smell is terrible.

VOICE: Alms, for the love of Allah!

NARRATOR: Oh, take no notice of him. Facing us is a minaret. It is very old and it is rather high. In fact, it is so high that the smell is terrible.

VOICE: You like pretty ladies? I show you lovely dancing girls, eh?

NARRATOR: Pardon me one moment. Are they really a bit of all right, these dancing girls? Can you take me—? Now, don't be silly.

1. Once there was a caliph and he lived in old Baghdad.
The poor old bloke's been dead for years but who cares about that?
He couldn't sleep a wink at night; he had two hundred wives
Who had to tell him stories; otherwise, they lost their lives.

CHORUS: Bring out your dead! So the first wife told her tale.

2. King Solomon, that wise old man, he had a thousand wives.
He bought a lovely charabanc to take them all for drives.
The charabanc broke down one night, and here's where trouble starts:
His wives were waiting in a row, but he'd got no spare parts.

CHORUS: ... So the next wife told her tale.

3. Aladdin loved a princess whom they called Belle Troubadour,
And though he loved her dearly, she loved Aladdin more.
She opened wide the palace gates to let her drunken dad in,
And who can blame her if by chance she sometimes let a lad in?

CHORUS: Oh, naughty girl! So the next wife told her tale,

4. Abdullah had a little lamb; he swapped it for a camel.
He didn't like its colour so he daubed it with enamel.
The hot sun melted all the paint while crossing the Sahara.
He can't get off because the paint is stuck to his ta-ra-ra.

CHORUS: Ah-ah-ah-ah! So the next wife told her tale.

[Instrumental interlude]

VOICE 1: Alms, for the love of Allah!

VOICE 2: Legs, for the love of Allah!

VOICE 3: No more wives, for the love of Mike!

NARRATOR: Oh, lots more wives yet, dear boy.

VOICE 3: Where are they?

NARRATOR: On the other side!

[Part 2]

CHORUS: Here we are again! So the next wife told her tale.

5. Once there was a plumber and he left behind his tools.
He always had to do it; it was in the union rules.
He fell into a cistern, and when his mate returned,
It took three years to get him out; what overtime he earned!

CHORUS: Ya-ya-ya-ya! So the next wife told her tale.

6. A young commercial traveller came to Baghdad one day.
He climbed upon the harem walls to watch the girls at play.
He promised to be good, but when the bathing girls appeared,
He got so agitated that he fell and broke his word.

CHORUS: We want hot-dog! So the next wife told her tale.

[Instrumental interlude]

7. There was a bloke named Omar and he wore a ruby 'at.
He lived on loaves of bread and thou, but who cares about that?
I can't tell you when he was born; the only date that sticks
Is Will-I-Am the Conqueror and that's ten-sixty-six.

CHORUS: ... So the next wife told her tale.

8. Once there were two dancing girls who went about in gauze,
And when they danced in cabarets, they were enormous draws.
The chief of p'lice arrested them for showing too much zeal.
He didn't mind the upper deck but couldn't stand the keel.

CHORUS: ... And we haven't got any more wine.

[Instrumental interlude]

NARRATOR: This musical travelogue comes to you by courtesy of the Persian Cat and Carpet Company, whose slogan "Snug as a bug in a Persian rug" is still known all over Wigan. In a few moments from the highest minaret you will hear the muezzin calling the faithful to assemble.

[Cuckoo sound, followed by a clarinet solo that resembles "The Dance of the Cuckoos"—the theme of the Laurel and Hardy comedies.]

NARRATOR: Thanks very much.