Mudcat Café message #3547514 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #151797   Message #3547514
Posted By: GUEST,Grishka
10-Aug-13 - 05:30 AM
Thread Name: BS: Situation w/ living arrangements
Subject: RE: BS: Situation w/ living arrangements
it doesn't work in my favour that I look, act & sound like I can do more than I actually can, & when I get riled up I sound spoilt.
Very interesting observation, and not uncommon. Actually most of us (particularly men) try to look, act & sound strong and autonomous, which backfires when we have to "admit" we are not. In fact it is not a shame at all to be in need of help, as we all know in theory. On the contrary, human society is basically a system of mutual help, and we are proud of it. You can do your share as well. (If it could be measured in quantity, it would be called "trading", quite a different thing.)

Manifest conflicts happen. To solve them in a satisfactory way, it does not suffice to be right or powerful or even both. Good diplomacy is required. As you can see in world politics, this does not always work, but surprisingly often. One of its secret weapons is to separate the actual conflict from personal dislikes and misunderstandings, and attack each separately. This art cannot be learned in a Mudcat online seminar, so you may want to appoint a diplomat, e.g. your parents or your friends among the staff. Diplomacy includes being ready to compromise, without loss of pride. All sides will win, even the one apparently in power.

(That said, please make sure that the medical side of the problem is well understood by your doctor, yourself, and the staff.)