Mudcat Café message #2789381 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #125823   Message #2789381
Posted By: Bee-dubya-ell
15-Dec-09 - 11:03 PM
Thread Name: BS: Obit: Oral Roberts - Dec 15th 2009
Subject: RE: BS: Obit: Oral Roberts - Dec 15th 2009
I was going to post an exerpt from a song I wrote back in 1987. There are some lines I had the song's main character say about Oral Roberts. But rather than explain the context for the exerpt, I thought I'd just post the whole damned song.

Bear in mind that this was written a while back and some of the lines are of a "short shelf life" nature. If I were to sing it today for any audience other than a bunch of old farts, half the audience wouldn't get those lines.

It was done as a talking blues. Not really a melody to it. Just talkin' over some simple guitar chords


It was early in nineteen eighty-seven
When Jesus of Nazareth came down from Heaven
And there weren't any claps of thunder or flashin' lights
He just appeared by the side of Interstate Ten,
When who should arrive but me in my van
And he just jumped in the back and we drove off into the night

Well, he told me who he was and, yeah, I had some doubts
But he said he'd just come back just to check things out
Seems he'd been gone someplace near about two thousand years
He said things were a mess when he'd been here before
And that he'd tried to show us folks the way to the door
But he'd had to go away before any of us ever got there

Well, I asked him if he had a place to stay for the night
He said "No," and it just didn't seem right
To leave such a nice fellow on the road out near Cantonment*
So I asked him if he'd like to stay a few days
Hell, I had an extra room I wasn't usin' anyways
And he wasn't no fool, he took that deal up in a moment

Well, I had to be to work about six the next day
So I told my new friend that while I was away
He could do anything that he wanted, just make himself at home
And when I got in about half past three
He said he'd spent the whole day watchin' cable TV
And callin' up television evangelists on the phone

He said, "Boy have they ever turned things around
They've made left into right and made up into down
And they've made everything I ever said seem to suit their needs
Why, they even tell you they're gonna save your soul
If you add enough money to their bankroll
I think all they really believe in is power and greed

Now you take this fellow Bakker, he's a liar and a thief
And his buddy Jimmy Swaggart's a perverted little creep
And there's some fool named Robertson runnin' for President
And ol' Brother Oral Roberts says if you don't send your pay
He's gonna die and go to Heaven and he's leavin' right away
If that sonovabitch gets to Heaven I'm gonna move out and live in a tent

And even the ones who are sincere in what they say
Seem to have it all mucked up somehow anyway
Boy, someone musta took a wrong turn a long time ago
Seems like they're so bogged down in the words from a book
That they won't take the time to just sit up and look
At what's goin' on inside themselves, if they'd just let it grow."

He said, "Son, when I was down here before with you all
I just put up a sign pointin' the way, that was all
And it makes me so mad I could just about explode
They done polished the signpost so doggone bright
That you can see that sucker shinin' in the middle of the night
But nobody's doin' any travelin' doen the road"

And then he said it was time for him to go
I asked him if he'd stay, but he just said "No."
Said he couldn' t help this time, he'd done all he could years before
And then he said, "Thank you very much my friend
You can rest assured that we'll meet again."
Then he turned around and he walked on out the door

Well, it's been a few years now since my friend went home
I guess he was really always here so he's never really gone
And I sure don't know any answers, I'm just a fool tryin' to find 'em
But maybe one day the people on this lonely ball of stone
Might get smart enough to figure out for themselves what's goin' on
Instead of needin' somebody like Jesus to come 'round and remind 'em

*Cantonment is a town near Pensacola. It's a line that got a lot of laughs from locals but makes no sense to anyone else. It rhymed with "moment". What can I say?