Mudcat Café message #2731039 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #64019   Message #2731039
Posted By: bradfordian
25-Sep-09 - 08:40 AM
Thread Name: Origins: The Hole in the Elephant's Bottom
Subject: RE: Origins: The Hole in the Elephant's Bottom
THE HOLE IN THE ELEPHANT'S BOTTOM as sung by Ray Brown

My ambition's to go on the stage;
From this you can see that I've got 'em.
In pantomime I'm all the rage,
I'm the hole in the elephant's bottom.
        His balls they hang so low
        I think that I could knot 'em,
        As I wink at the girls in the pit
        Through the hole in the elephant's bottom.
The man who plays the front part
Is absolutely rotten,
All he can do is to fart
Through the hole in the elephant's bottom.
        Oh, the girls, they think that I'm it,
        As they sit in the stalls I can spot 'em,
        And I wink at the girls in the pit
        Through the hole in the elephant's bottom.
A young lady stood at the stage door.
Said "you're a film star I can spot em.
You're Douglas Fairbanks," I said "Me Mam, no thanks
I'm the hole in the elephants bottom."
        One night we performed in a farce
        And they stuffed up the bottom with cotton,
        But it split and I showed my bare arse
        Through the hole in the elephant's bottom.
There are pockets inside in the cloth
For two bottles of Bass, if you got 'em.
But they hiss and they boo when I blow out the froth
Through the hole in the elephant's bottom.
        Now my part hasn't got any words
        But there's nothing that can't be forgotten,
        I spend all my time pushing property turds
        Through the hole in the elephant's bottom.
Some may think that this story is good
And some may believe that it's rotten,
But those that don't like it can stuff it right up
The hole in the elephant's bottom.
        Should the Japanese make an attack,
        Then hundreds of bombs they will drop 'em,
        But we'll keep 'em at bay with an Oerliken gun
        Through the hole in the elephant's bottom.

brad