Mudcat Café message #2649212 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #108242   Message #2649212
Posted By: nigelew
05-Jun-09 - 01:38 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: The Talking Dog (Oldham Tinkers)
Subject: Lyr Add: THE TALKING DOG (Oldham Tinkers)
Guys

I think I have the definitive version - as follows. Despite living now in Kent (odd place), I'm Lancashire born and bred from Lancaster way.

Best

Nigel

THE TALKING DOG

Bob Balloons was the landlord in th' owd Ring of Bells,
With his wife and their son, gormless John.
In the daytime his wife tended cattle round back,
And in th' evenings, wi' John waited on,
And in th' evenings, wi' John waited on.

In a sing song at night John played piano a bit.
He were lazy but by he were fause.
"Well will tha follow me or shall I follow thee?"
And anyway each took his course,
And anyway each took his course.

John were sent off to market by Bob for a cow,
And on his way into the town,
Met a rum-un called Annie or Blondie to some,
And he took her to sup at the Crown,
And he took her to sup at the Crown.

Well he wined her and dined her and he took her t'fair,
Where they copped on to all of the rides,
Then they ate sugar bunnies, black peas and the like,
And they saw the Fat Lady besides,
And they saw the Fat Lady besides.

They had coconut shies, won a rag doll for her,
Then John said "Let's walk down t' wood".
"I will if thou only behave", says Anne.
"Thou'd be upset, me lass, if I should,
Thou'd be upset, me lass, if I should."

Later on John jumped up on recalling his chore.
"He'll kill me! I've spent all his brass."
"He's no angel hisself," whispered Anne in his ear.
"With that barmaid he's flattened some grass.
With that barmaid he's flattened some grass."

"Where's the cow?" Bob did ask. "Now't in cow line", said John.
"Where's me brass then?" asked father to son.
"About this here dog, it's a dog what can talk."
"Now come on, lad. Let's have less of fun.
Now come on, lad. Let's have less of fun."

"It's as true as I'm here, it'd be good for trade."
"Tha's weak i'the bonce", says his dad.
"If thou's bought't, where is it, this miracle pup?"
"I were coming to that", said the lad.
"I were coming to that", said the lad.

"Coming home by canal, I were chatting t' dog
And he asked me where it would abide.
I said 'Ring of Bells'. He said "Bob Balloon's pub?
Does he still have that redhead ont' side?"
Does he still have that redhead ont' side?"


You could here a pin drop and Bob's face it just fell,
And he said, "Lad, well what did thou do?"
"I drop kicked the bugger straight into canal,
To save it embarrassing you."

SPOKEN
"Tha did reet lad", said Bobby Balloons.