Mudcat Café message #1397907 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #77921   Message #1397907
Posted By: Bee-dubya-ell
03-Feb-05 - 10:50 AM
Thread Name: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
Ah, yes! "Early Flipping Syndrome". It's far more common than you'd think. The irrepressible urge to use one's spatula to flip a cooking food item before it's ready for flipping. The need to flip being more important than the reason for the flipping. Sometimes accompanied by a strong tendency to use sentence fragments even though one was an English major and damned well knows better.

While the origins of "EFS" are poorly understood, there are simple and effective remedies. One of the more successful has been this:

Obtain plastic facsimilies of the items to be flipped. If you don't know where to obtain plastic facsimilies of food simply go to the nearest Chinese take-out restaurant. They all have beautiful fake food in their windows. Just go inside, walk up to the counter and ask, "Where you get food in window?" about sixteen times until someone understands your question. When you finally get an answer (and please understand you may have to buy some real food in order to pry this information out of the owner) contact the fake food designer and have him make very realistic fakes of your favorite flippables.

Now, whenever you feel the urge to prepare a dish that involves flipping, you simply put the real food in one skillet and its facsimile in another. It is very important that you only turn the heat on under the real food! Then, when you get the urge to flip, just flip the fake food! Simple! However, it is vitally important that you do not get so wigged out with flipping the fake stuff that you forget to flip the real food at appropriate times. This may take a bit of getting used to. It is suggested that during the first few weeks of therapy one should make sure that one's smoke detector, exhaust fan and fire extinguisher are in good working order and that the number for the fire department (or fire brigade depending on one's orientation relative to the Atlantic Ocean) be prominently posted.