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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
Bert Hansell Lyr Add: Two Little Boys (15) Lyr Add: TWO LITTLE BOYS (parody by Billy Connolly 13 Jun 97

This is how he sings it on "Raw meat for the balcony."

Two little boys had two little toys,
A whistle and a helmet too.
Though they're only wee, you could plainly see
What they'd grow up into.
They were kicking other wains and were bashing in their brains,
Shopping everybody, too.
They didn't reform. now they're in uniform.
They're two little boys in blue.

CHORUS: Do you think I would leave you lying
When I can lie my head off too?
If somebody squawks in the witness box,
I'll cover up for you.
We can tell a pack of lies, pull the wool over their eyes.
The way the sergeant taught us to,
And before you count to three, we'll be off scot-free.
We're two little boys in blue.

The duty sergeant said, "Tuck the prisoners into bed,
But before you take their cocoa through,
Lock them in their cells and hit them where it tells,
But don't leave them black and blue.
You can hit them in the balls, bang their heads off of the wall,
Bash them in the kidneys, too.
Beat them on the legs and thighs, but don't give them black eyes,
Or you'll be a prisoner too. CHORUS.

So if you see them on the beat, as they swagger down the street,
I've a piece of advice for you:
Don't trust to luck, turn 'round and run like the clappers
From the two little boys in blue. CHORUS


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