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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,mgarvey@pacifier.com BS: Alternatives to Marriage Resources (24) RE: BS: Alternatives to Marriage Resources 10 Feb 02


I don't care what people do unless children are involved. And making it easier for either fathers to disappear or for mothers to keep their children from their fathers (I am talking of non-abusive ones here) is not in the best interests of society, and for some children it is absolutely devestating. They live in a state of grief. And it seems to hit boys the worst but girls are also very affected. Not each and every child. Some do fine with minimal or even no contact. Some have been raised by wolves and do O.K. But some, and I have known very very many of them, feel the loss or vacancy of a father, not a "strong male image," not a "father figure" but a father, very very deeply. And you won't know in advance whether your child will be like this or not. It's a crap shoot. So I think you have to assume that you will produce a child or children who need the constant presence, and the financial support, and the sense of security in these troubled times, that a father will or should provide. And the argument that no father is better than a terribly abusive one is true, but it is also foolish. For God's sake, if that is the sort of man you would consider mating with, get yourself fixed. (a generic comment, not addressed to anyone in particular) mg




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