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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
Little Neophyte BS: One Big Happy Banjo Family (11) One Big Happy Banjo Family 04 Sep 01

This was written by Peter Roehling for Banjo-L

  The reason that I love to play the banjo is that all banjo players are one big happy family. Except for those Bluegrass guys, with their five thousand dollar, twenty pound boat anchors.  Those guys will  never let an open-back banjo player jam with 'em, and they look down their noses at anybody who can't play "Foggy Mountain Breakdown" at 180 beats per minute.  They all love gold-plated and engraved tone rings, and they play with those funny-looking things on their finger tips as well.  So I really hate those Bluegrass guys, and will never admit them into the one big happy family that comprises all of the other non-bluegrass banjo players.

  Well, okay, I've gotta admit that the guys who play those funny four stringed things aren't REAL banjo players either.  First of all, they use flatpicks instead of playing with their nails the way God intended the banjo to be played.  Next, those banjos they play LOOK an awful lot like Bluegrass banjos, and you know what that means; they're probably part of that vegan conspiracy to outlaw real calfskin heads, and you can't allow somebody into a family if they're plotting against you, right?

And while we're at it, we ought to wonder about those strange folks who play fretless, or worse, gourd banjos.  Those weird plunka-plunka noises certainly aren't what I'd call banjo playing.  It would probably be best if we just left them to themselves.  (I'm sure that the Boy Scouts wouldn't let any of THEM join.)

  But still, you've got to admit that there's nothing like being a member of that all-inclusive happy family of banjo players.

  Oh darn!  I forgot the ones who insist that all banjo music must be politically correct:  "Southern Old-time music" is bigoted stuff according to them.  And on the other side of the scale are the ones who won't play anything BUT "southern Old-time music".  All of those jokers are trouble makers, and we can toss them out without a moment's hesitation!

  And how about those right and left coast types?  I don't think that anybody from New York could possibly be considered a real banjo player, right?  And Californian?  Oh, give me a break!

So; now our big happy family of properly located, open-backed, non-picking-using five string players who don't use fretless banjos (Or plastic heads!  I forgot about those damn plastic heads!) and don't discriminate in their choice of material can get together and really enjoy themselves.

But I'm beginning to wonder about the ones that use capos...... P.  

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