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Richard Mellish ADD: The Tipperary Christening (8) RE: ADD: The Tipperary Christening 28 Dec 20

This set of words is as sung by my great-uncle Lionel Mellish, about 1961. Some rustling of paper is audible. He may only have been using written words as a reminder, but I suspect he was reading all of them, despite which there are some differences from the versions above, besides the extra stuff at the end.

'Twas down in the place, Tipperary,
Where they're so airy, and so contrary,
They cut up the Devil's figary,
When they christened sweet Danny the boy.
In the corner the piper sat winking,
And a-blinking, and a-thinking,
And of noggin a punch they were drinking,
And wishing the parents great joy.
When home from the church they came
With Father, son and big Micky Brannigan
Scores of pretty boys and girls
As ever you'd wish for to see
When in flew the door on Hogan and Tinker
And lathering Lanigan
Kicked up a row and they wanted to know
Why they were not asked to the spree.

Then the baby set up such a squawling,
And such a bawling, and caterwauling,
The nurse and the mother were calling
It was a [trememengo joy]
And the piper his chant was a-toning,
And a-moaning, and a-droning,
The old women set up such a groaning
When they christened sweet Danny, the boy.

Now the aristocracy came to the party,
There was McCarty, tight and so hearty,
With Florence Berdelia Fogarty,
She said that's the French for her name;
Dianosius Alonso Macrooney,
Oh so looney and so spooney,
With the charming Evangeline Mooney,
Of society she was the cream.
Cora Teresia Morgan(?) McCann,
Algernon Rourke, and Luna(?) McCafferty,
Reginald Marmaduke, Morris McDuff,
And Clarence Ignatius McGurk;
Cornelia Horatio Flafferty's son,
Adaline Grace, and Dr. O'Rafferty,
Even McLaughson, Colonel Muldoon,
And Brigadier-General Burke;

They were dancing the polka-mazurka,
'Twas a worker, ne'er a shirker,
The Varsoviana, la Turker,
And polka-redowa divine;
Then they marched and they went in to luncheon,
Some of them munching, oh what a scrunching,
They were busy as bees at their lunching,
With coffee, tea, whisky, and wine.

Now they had all kinds of tea, they had Shooshong,
They had Boolong, they had Dingdong,
With Oolong, and Boolong, and Hoolong,
And tea that was made in Japan;
They had sweetmeats, imported from Java,
And from Guava(?) and from Hava(?),
In the four-masted ship The "Minarva,"
That sailed from beyond Hindustan."

Cold ice-cream, and cream that was hot,
Roman punch froze up in snowballs and sparrowgrass,
Pâté de foie gras, whatever that means,
Made out of goose-livers and grease;
Red-headed ducks, with salmon and peas,
Bandy-legged frogs and Peruvian ostriches,
Bottlenose(?), pickereel(?), woodcock, and snipe,
And everything else you could please.

After dinner, of course, they had speaking,
And hand-shaking, and leave-taking,
In the corners old mothers match-making,
And other such innocent sins;
And they drank a good health to each other,
And to each brother, and to each mother;
And the last toast I thought I would smother,
When they hoped that the next would be twins.

Now the folks were all leaving all smiling,
All beguiling, sweet kisses piling.
When suddenly Mikey O'Reilly
He trod on Kitty's gown tail.
And all at once there was such a commotion
Upset the lotion, mixed like a potion.
You'd have thought that he'd sat in the ocean,
When O'Rafferty sat in the pail.
And up jumped Makinskey O'Rourke,
Danced on the chest of Father O'Flanagan,
Slammed the hostess in the eye
With the knob on the end of his boot.
They fought and tore 't each other's clothes
Fell in the pigsty, got up and began again
Down came the chimney piece
And smothered the party with soot.

The the girls they set up such a howling
Screaming and scowling, jowling and browling.
The poor piper he got such a towelling,
Because he had nothing to say.
Then in came the neighbours inciting
Led(?) to more fighting, kicking and biting.
And I'll take a rare lot of inviting
To be there the next christening day.

In an hour the row it was ended.
Limbs had to be mended, backbones unbended.
Mick said that it wasn't intended,
What he did was an accident quite.
Then they all commenced sobbing and sighing,
Snivelling and crying, piping their eye-ing.
You'd have thought the whole was a-dying.
Sure faith was a pitiful sight.
Broken noses and eyes of black.
Ankles put out and fractures discovering.
Rafferty hadn't a shirt to his back,
For they'd used it to mop up the floor.
The doctor came with bandages long,
Splints he put on and he charged half a sovereign,
O'Rafferty said that he thought was too much
So they chucked him right out of the door.

Then they recommenced drinking and smoking,
Jesting and joking, whiskey a-soaking.
There were one or two very provoking
To charming Miss Biddy Molloy.
At the finish they all went home blaring,
Flaming and flaring, stamping and swearing.
And they'll never get me to take sharing,
The next time that they christen the boy.

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