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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,Chongo Chimp BS: Dear Chongo - personal advice column! (95* d) RE: BS: Dear Chongo - personal advice column! 13 Aug 13


Good question, Bobertz! Yer average bush monkey thinks about food, other monkeys, sex, the weather, and predators. Pretty straighforward stuff, huh?

But then ya got the monkeys that have joined human society, and that's where it gets real complicated. Yer modern societal monkey might be thinkin' about almost anything. Trust me on this. They are still thinkin' about other monkeys, food, the weather, and sex, of course. That goes without sayin'. They ain't thinkin' much about predators no longer, cos you don't find a lotta leopards and such downtown, see? But city monkeys also might be thinkin' about sports, politics, philosophy, auto repair, checkers, booze, Mike Hammer books, TV, the horse races, Hillary Clinton, you name it...basically anything that humans think about.

And this is why some societal monkeys end up havin' emotional problems, and havin' to see a shrink. You'd never find a bush ape that had those kinda problems. Bein' "civilized" has its drawbacks, see? But those of us who've left the bush feel that the price of losin' our natural innocence is still worth the rewards, particularly where liquor, fast cars, and nifty duds are concerned.

- Chongo


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