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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,Chongo Chimp BS: The Mother of all BS threads (59138* d) RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads 17 Jun 13


Studies of the history of specism in the western world and elsewhere show that specism goes a looooong way back! It is likely that the first primitive humanoids, creatures who was looked at askance by normal primates of the time (due to their stupidity, clumsiness, and unpredictable violence) were all specists as a matter of course. But they had not invented musical instruments yet. We primates had musical instruments already in the form of drums of various sorts...a hollow log would do good...but them poor humanoids didn't even have that. Anyways, the humanoids gradually did learn a few skills as the millenia ticked by, and lo and behold, one day they come up with organs! Thus was born the organ-grinder, a low class human of questionable origins who hangs out on street corners and tries to get lunch money by playin' on his instrument.

Let's face it. This was not a pretty sight. How to make it look better? Well, ya gotta add something that looks appealin'...like an ape or a monkey. Organ grinders started enslavin' cute little monkeys and gettin' 'em to solicit spare change by beatin' and starvin' 'em if they didn't do it. Organ grinders seldom use Chimps for this purpose, because yer average Chimp would just rip their arms off and shove their blasted organ down their throat, but sometimes they do use very young Chimps. Usually they use a small monkey.

When I get elected, organ grinders are gonna be made to work for gorillas who play the keyboard. The organ grinder guy will be tethered by a chain to a nearby lamp post, the gorilla will play popular tunes or classical stuff, and the organ grinder guy will solicit spare change. If he brings in enough money in a day, he'll get a bowl of thin soup and a crust of bread before bedtime. "Bed" will be a thin blanket on a hard, cold floor.

I don't believe in coddlin' specists. No sir!

- Chongo


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