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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,Ralphie Health and Safety Implications (20) RE: Health and Safety Implications 13 Dec 11


DING DONG MERRILY ON HIGH (warning)

Sound checks must be made on decibel levels produced by the bells in heaven, prior to the commencement of any ringing and, if necessary, ear defenders must be worn. It is probably a good time to check the level of employer liability insurance, as many hearing loss problems are only detected some time after prolonged exposure to high pitched sounds, which may be caused by angels singing. Care should be taken during the overhead activity of flying angels, and signs must be erected warning of the possibility of falling objects. Safety nets must be used at all times to protect bystanders on the ground, and all angels must be trained in the proper use of safety harnesses and other aerial equipment.

Steeple bells must only be swungen by people properly authorised to do so, and only then if they have had proper safety training on manual handling. If the swinging of the steeple bells involves first climbing up the steeple, then non slip soled shoes must be worn, and additional health checks should be made on the fitness of the ringers. Anybody showing early signs of cardiac or respiratory disease should be discouraged from becoming swingers or ringers. Any remarks made to this effect should be kept separate on company medical records which are confidential and private. Clear signs should be displayed at the foot of the steeple, indicating the number of steps to be climbed and a stair lift should be provided for the elderly and infirm. Employers should remember that they have a duty of care to all employees at all times, and that charges for corporate manslaughter may ensue if procedures are not followed correctly.

Private facilities must be made available to any employee that needs to pray, for whatever reason and whatever their religion. Employers are reminded that they have made a commitment to valuing people for their differences as well as embracing and celebrating diversity. Finally, contact details of the Company's Ombudsman must be prominently displayed in case of breaches of the Corporate Code of Conduct.


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