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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
Weasel Folk singing bus driver (46) RE: Folk singing bus driver 04 Oct 09


Right, I think I've got it:

NUMBER 81 BUS

One night I was stood by the town hall bogs
Snoggin' with me financée
When all of a sudden up a bus conductor rushed
And he coughed - I say
Have you seen a bus, a big red bus
With faces peerin' out
There is no conductor 'cause it should be me
'Cause me bus I am witho-o-o-out
Without, I said, Have you gone stone mad
Have you lost your bloody 'ead
No, I've lost the 81 to Crumpsall Green
And I'm writing them in your business, he sa-a-a-a-aid
Ten minutes ago I rang the bell
And I shouted to me mate
Ee, I'm gone a minute, lad, I'm goin' for a slash
He said, Right but don't be la-a-a-a-ate
Well, in the loo there was such a queue
I just 'ung on in anguish
When I came out, well, the bus 'ad gone
The bloody lot had va-a-a-anished
So we fetched a cop but 'e couldn't 'elp
For t' bus were nowhere in sight
And the polis and the sanitary cleansing department
Was searchin' all that ni-i-i-ight
Now it's seven long years since bus disappeared
The 81 to Crumpsall Green
And on moonlit nights down Cheetham Hill Road
Its ghostly shape can be se-e-e-een
It's red outside and lit up inside
The driver 'as a long grey beard
And the faces all peerin' out can be seen
And their plaintive voices may be he-e-e-eard
It's seven long years since 'e went for a pee
Since then 'e's never been seen
Does any bugger know where's conductor Joe
Of the 81 to Crumpsall Green


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