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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
HuwG Lyr Req: Parody of Two Little Boys (10) RE: Lyr Req: Parody of Two Little Boys 10 Nov 08

Billy Connolly did another version at the 1978 "The Secret Policeman's Ball" dedicated to all those who "fell downstairs" under questioning at Glasgow Central Police Station.

Two little boys had two little toys
A whistle and a helmet blue
And when they were wee
It was plain to see
What they'd grow up into

They were kicking other wains*
Bashing in their brains
And shopping** everybody too "It was him! it was him!"
They didn't reform, they're in uniform
They're two little boys in blue

Did you think I would leave you lying
When I can lie my arse off too
If somebody squawks in the witness box
I'll cover up for you
I'll tell a pack of lies, pull the wool over their eyes
The way the sergeant taught us to
Before you count to three, we'll be off scot free
We're two little boys in blue

Now the duty sergeant said, tuck the prisoners into bed
But before you take their cocoa through
Kick them in the cells, hit them where it tells
But don't leave them black and blue

You can kick them in the balls, bounce their heads off all the walls
Bash them on the kidneys too
Hit them on the legs and thighs, but don't give them black eyes
Or you'll be a prisoner too


Now if you see them on the beat, as they swagger down your street
Here's a piece of advice for you
Don't trust to luck - Run! like the clappers
From the two little boys in blue


* = small children (wee 'uns)
** = grassing upon, informing

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