Mudcat Café Message Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafeawe

User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
Shimbo Darktree Lyr Add: Ice Damming (Barry Finn) (15) RE: Please, comments again on a song 18 Dec 99

I shouldn't comment really, because my song-writing skills are not
the best in the world. However, you asked, so here goes ...

Firstly, the rhyming. I tend to agree with Murray on SS ...
I don't see a problem with it.

Secondly, the meter (US spelling rules!). I do see a problem.
The words should flow evenly. As an example, try the following
for the first two lines:

New England winter and throughout the land,
The trucks start rolling, they're carting all hands,

No doubt improvements could be made, particularly to the second line,
but hopefully this will help. Keep writing ... someone has
to supply the songs I sing, as I rarely sing mine. I like other
people's songs more.

Post to this Thread -

Back to the Main Forum Page

By clicking on the User Name, you will requery the forum for that user. You will see everything that he or she has posted with that Mudcat name.

By clicking on the Thread Name, you will be sent to the Forum on that thread as if you selected it from the main Mudcat Forum page.

By clicking on the Subject, you will also go to the thread as if you selected it from the original Forum page, but also go directly to that particular message.

By clicking on the Date (Posted), you will dig out every message posted that day.

Try it all, you will see.