apologies... this is the complete message:

Here's another one I wrote a few years ago. Unfortunately my rugby club never picked this one up and I have long since retired from the sport (except for occassional old boys matches and other fits of dementia).

It's a call and response ditty, and it's designed so people can make up new verses on the fly, just by rhyming with the name of a saint.

THERE AIN'T NO SAINTS IN RUGBY
(To the tune of "South Australia")


Caller: My patron saint is old Saint Mark.
      
Response: Heave away, haul away, what's he the patron saint of?

Caller: Shaggin' all the beasts on Noah's ark.

Response: That's nothing to be ashamed of.

All sing chorus: Oh, that ancient dirty fuck,
                He'd bite his own mother in a ruck
                Bless the soul of that asshole
                Cause there ain't no saints in rugby.

My patron saint is old Saint Clare
(Heave away, haul away, what's he the patron saint of?)
Rainbow-dyeing her pubic hair
(That's nothing to be ashamed of)

chorus

My patron saint is old Saint Nick
(Heave away, haul away, what's he the patron saint of?)
Teaching the elves to suck his dick
(That's nothing to be ashamed of)

chorus

My patron saint is old Saint John
(Heave away, haul away, what's he the patron saint of?)
Showing old ladies his hard-on
(That's nothing to be ashamed of)

..........
I'm sure you can imagine the possibilities for this one. If you're not familiar with the tune, you might want to check out The Pogue's version of "South Australia."

I'd love to see this one catch on at post-match drinkups... Maybe I'll get the Union College Old Boys Rugby Football Club to learn it.

Smokin' Bill's Digital Depot